Why do I feel so content whenever I don't deal with women?

[sangheilios]

Speed dating. You need to build a social and connectivity side to lower intellect types.

I did that back in the early part of April, none of the women were remotely cute nor did they have anything of substance to discuss.

 

[sangheilios]

You are limited in your area, for sure, but there are women out there who you find attractive and who you could get with if you improved your game. You'd have more options in a bigger city for sure, but to move to a bigger while changing nothing else about yourself and expecting to see your success with women make a huge improvement would be foolish. You can work on your game NOW.



This should be proof that it's all about game. It's what you need to work on. For you, it's game, and framing. Framing your mind to see your failures as successes.... with each "failure" or rejection, you learn a little more and get a little better. If it helps encourage you, I will say my learning curve has been exponential. It's like a jet airliner taking off..... long and slow at the start but really increases speed as you go. Success builds off success. The more success you get, the more confidence you get. The more confidence you get, the more women want you.

Hard to build from success when it can be obtained in the first place. I've already posted that on here but even with low quality women where I'm at they give me attitude, like at the speed dating event I had posted about on here a couple months ago.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I did that back in the early part of April, none of the women were remotely cute nor did they have anything of substance to discuss.

Maybe you need to be nicer to people. Or just focus on doctor, lawyer, engineer and business women.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

We've been over this before though. For a beginner who has issues to work through, your approach numbers should be a lot higher before giving up. Get to 100.

ALL women give attitude. It's how they test you. How you respond to it is 100% within your control and is often the difference between a connection and no connection.

 

[fastlife]

It means you haven’t been able to come in to a place with the opposite sex where you can freely be yourself and give from abundance; no expectations. Your issue lies within your need and thinking a woman is their to facilitate your happiness. A woman should compliment your existence.

And you’re legitimizing your thoughts in your conclusion based out of fear.

Round of applause

EDIT--S/O @oldmanofthesea too--probably the best thread of 2019

 

[sangheilios]

This part here makes it clear to me the path you have chosen (and it IS 100% your choice), for you have already determined in your mind that women are "unhealthy."

Whatever negative feelings you have, you use as walls. They excuse you from taking chances and failing. It's senseless for you to even try to meet women because you already seem to know that they bring nothing but negativity and unhealthiness.

Based on my experiences with them they are in fact unhealthy. As I've mentioned many times on this forum, I've had women go completely out of their way to ask me out just to cancel and ghost later on. I've had women say "I have a boyfriend" and yet continue to go out of their way to engage with me and lead me on for no reason and in settings where interaction was completely unnecessary. I've had women go out of their way to humiliate me when I was younger due to being awkward with them.

I've never had a single positive experience with the opposite sex and can't at all relate to them. For real, they are like a completely different species to me and there is no form of compatibility with them in any shape or form.

 

[Poonani Maker]

No such thing as a no life seducer who walks around feeling like he has nothing to lose. Every interaction is going to have the weight of the world on it.

I disagree. I am a no-life seducer who can one-on-one talk to just about Any woman and make them feel in the presence of a unique persona, something not right but attractive and question-inducing. It gets a few women kinda obsessed with me every time they make my acquaintance. Now, in a setting with other dudes, say at a cookout or outdoor summer party, I'm going to have more problems "impressing" a target or drawing in a target because there's competition and "Amoging" going on. I can somewhat hold my own, but she's not going to be as spell-bound than if we are alone without distractions. I treat almost Every woman I come into contact the Same, EVEN IF I am not physically attracted to her or if I'm terribly attracted to her, she's getting the Same treatment from me (and that is a sexual underpinning treatment, a Dangerous treatment, but though she can't quite pin down...she knows I'm being 'wrong' in my manner "but, Sir!" but she's unsure of herself if I am out of line -- it's a bendy could-go-both-ways inflection on every word I utter -- it's pausing and tone of voice, pacing, and deliberateness of speech. I guess a carsalesman can definitely do that, I'm not one. I believe I got this ability from my language learning since about 2010 I attempted 19 different languages and have settled on 2 to learn better). I believe people of other languages or other cultures are more calculated in their speech more manipulative, that in turn, has made me tap into that mindset making me more calculative in speech when interacting with a woman (American woman) thus I seem to have underlying motives when I speak or up-to-no-good motives when I speak, so we're starting off and continuing on a devious or sneaky or secretive Foot. So her and my always interacting in this manner one on one (not at a party or a bar or someone's backyard with other people present) breeds a familiarity and a "just between us" common talk that will eventually lead to kissing and the bedroom (if she can get away with it).

 

[Trump]

Dealing with a woman here and there (grocery store, tinder, gym, etc) while not having a social life that has built-in women is the most frustrating thing in the world. They KNOW that you have a lot riding on the interaction. Women can sense these things. And you being careful, walking on eggshells, and being inhibited is going to lead to nothing but flakes.

It is only when you are acting like you've got nothing to lose that women gravitate towards you. And you can only act this way when you have a social life that has a lot of women in it.

How do you get a social life with “a lot of women in it”?

It’s like saying the bank can sense if you have a lot of money or need the loan. It’s only when you have a lot of money the bank will respect you. The solution is to get alot of money, and the bank will gravitate towards you.

Way way too much theory on this site.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

How do you get a social life with “a lot of women in it”?

It’s like saying the bank can sense if you have a lot of money or need the loan. It’s only when you have a lot of money the bank will respect you. The solution is to get alot of money, and the bank will gravitate towards you.

Way way too much theory on this site.

You can have ONE dead steady source of ***** where the female desires to be YOURS and it changes the entire game.

 

[Poonani Maker]

You're in denial. It's the classic mgtow paradox, if you are really mgtow there is no reason to post about it. Fact is, every time you see some happy couple you are going to be challenging yourself due to social pressures, hence the need to vent here. It's an issue.

Every time I see a happy couple, like my cousins married for 20+ years or 15+ years, my brothers, friends, I know that this is the front they'd like to Show to the world or that it really is genuine but only in that moment or for a little while. It's only when I'm out in the parking lot of a restaurant (he's getting something out of the car, keys fumbling, wife and everybody else is still inside the restaurant or on their way walking out) that I get told "You do Not wanna get married..." It's a No NO composure towards me, and he, the cousin(s) I grew up playing with on the ground or in the woods/trails, reveals to me that he is depressed. You see, he has to ACT manly ALL the time, like a "protector" and "better than all the rest" or she'll LEAVE him. She HATES me AND my dad (before he died 2 yrs ago), accusing him of some terrible things - it made me wanna punch her fat as5 in the mouth. Anyway, my other cousin who I don't talk to as often and I get only pictures from my mom, I see strained faces and looks in their eyes, sure they're bringing up an extremely smart boy (they are "trainers" by profession in the financial world so naturally they know how to shape human behavior). A few years ago, I saw happier pictures. She's probably demanding higher income from him, I don't know.

 

[corrector]

Anyway, I've just noticed that I feel very happy and content with my life right now and enjoying every minute of it. I'm killing it with my investments and working a bit more, which has obviously lead to even more gains in regards to my finances. I'm continuing to workout, staying active and just taking care of my body.....actually getting a massage tomorrow.

What type of massage?

Been spending a lot of time with my friends and enjoying their company. In addition to all of this I've just been enjoying my own company as well, reading, watching movies, etc.

Wasn't that what you were doing before you got into OLD?

What I'm currently feeling in my life is also a trend I've noticed in the past, where I'd never be involved at all with the opposite sex in any way shape or form.

Now in opposition to this I've noticed a strong trend in my adult life that whenever I've gotten involved with women it always leads to my life becoming rather unhealthy. Whenever they are around I feel tons of stress and anxiety, not just with them but in life in general. Nothing flows naturally and my entire life just becomes unbearable. Feelings of anger, annoyance, disgust, hatred become very strong during these times.

I don't relate with that. I find that with a woman you love, the "me" or alone time is nicer because you know you have someone. It sounds like you've tried unsuccessfully meeting women where nothing came out of it. However, if you got into a relationship where you are and the lady are compatible and you like each other, then you would enjoy watching the same types of movies together. I had a nice relationship back in 2012, where there was a good compatibility with the girl, and I can say that although there had aspects of stress and anxiety at the beginning and ending points of the relationship (i.e. she wasn't acting right with me), as a net, we were happy together and enjoyed doing allot of things together. When I was by myself it was more blissful it was just a pleasant experience.

You just haven't found the right match or someone you are compatible with. I was also married in 2014 and had a worst match than 2012, but was desperate and proceeded into a marriage with her anyway. At the end of the day, because the experience was bad, I really felt great being by myself and appreciated the freedom of being single and not being tied down to anyone.

You probably were dealing with the types of women you were not compatible with, had allot of dark issues behind the scenes in their life or past you are not aware of, and it's just that you haven't met your soulmate. If you had a soulmate experience at least once in your life then you wouldn't write like that. If she's out there, it's worth it in the end of you don't quit. I experienced this at least once in my life and I can say it's the type of woman that makes up for all the mess before. So don't quit since you may miss out on her then you would have really wasted your time.

Why not look at some Indian Bollywood love-stories or something....maybe something high-energy could get you in the mood to search for true love. Nothing like a good Indian love movie that captures the spirit of finding the one true soulmate.

 

[sangheilios]

What type of massage?



Wasn't that what you were doing before you got into OLD?



I don't relate with that. I find that with a woman you love, the "me" or alone time is nicer because you know you have someone. It sounds like you've tried unsuccessfully meeting women where nothing came out of it. However, if you got into a relationship where you are and the lady are compatible and you like each other, then you would enjoy watching the same types of movies together. I had a nice relationship back in 2012, where there was a good compatibility with the girl, and I can say that although there had aspects of stress and anxiety at the beginning and ending points of the relationship (i.e. she wasn't acting right with me), as a net, we were happy together and enjoyed doing allot of things together. When I was by myself it was more blissful it was just a pleasant experience.

You just haven't found the right match or someone you are compatible with. I was also married in 2014 and had a worst match than 2012, but was desperate and proceeded into a marriage with her anyway. At the end of the day, because the experience was bad, I really felt great being by myself and appreciated the freedom of being single and not being tied down to anyone.

You probably were dealing with the types of women you were not compatible with, had allot of dark issues behind the scenes in their life or past you are not aware of, and it's just that you haven't met your soulmate. If you had a soulmate experience at least once in your life then you wouldn't write like that. If she's out there, it's worth it in the end of you don't quit. I experienced this at least once in my life and I can say it's the type of woman that makes up for all the mess before. So don't quit since you may miss out on her then you would have really wasted your time.

Why not look at some Indian Bollywood love-stories or something....maybe something high-energy could get you in the mood to search for true love. Nothing like a good Indian love movie that captures the spirit of finding the one true soulmate.

What type of massage?......the one you get to make your muscles feel better lol, so your standard one I guess. Not sure if you were implying it was one of those asian massage parlors lol.

Well, I'm in my late twenties and never been in a relationship, though I've gone out one dates and stuff. I don't believe in "matches" or soul mates or true love, I think it does exist but in the real world it is very rare. I can think of so many people that I know that are in relationships simply because they can't imagine being alone, or perhaps are terrified of it. I don't quite understand this mindset, as I've been "alone" my whole life, but what I do know is that these people are not strong individuals. So many of these relationships are unhealthy, there truly is no real compatibility with the couple and it truly does appear that the relationship exists out of this inability to be alone.

I truly don't think there is anyone out there for me, I'm just too different and unique from other people so I honestly can't see myself ever being truly compatible with someone to that degree. Granted, I have friends and can enjoy my time with them but they are very different than I am and also I'm obviously not sleeping with them, living with them or around them to any degree comparable to that of a girlfriend.

As for the women I've met and dealt with, I do in fact feel what you mentioned about shady pasts and all that is probably the case. Without getting into details, I can look back on all of the different women I've had interactions with over the years and can honestly say that there were underlying issues that I was really not aware of. I used to believe that these women were full on bat **** crazy or legitimately enjoyed messing with me, something about them just seemed off.

For instance- There was a woman I met about 2 years ago at the gym, she was seeing someone but she continued to interact with me whenever I was there. I was really attracted to her but something felt off, though I just ignored it. I had stopped talking to her around December of 2017 and a few months later I found out she was a communist/Marxist that was VERY politically active in our area. She organized anti Trump protests, one of which had completely blocked the downtown area of my city and had lead to a lot of arrests and injuries. I found other news articles about her hosting these rallies at a park to change it's name from Christopher Columbus to something else.

Naturally I didn't know about any of this when I had met and known her but I can look back and say that due to fate a bullet was unwittingly dodged. Normal and well adjusted people don't engage in activities like that in their free time, this isn't 1920s Russia lol.

 

[wifehunter]

"Why do I feel so content whenever I don't deal with women?"

Because most of their minds are fuct, and require tons of energy to deal with.

 

[corrector]

What type of massage?......the one you get to make your muscles feel better lol, so your standard one I guess. Not sure if you were implying it was one of those asian massage parlors lol.

Ok, no asian massage parlours with happy endings from women fresh off the boat. I've never been to one of those myself, and I've written plenty of threads/ posts about the subject that something is not right about the principle of paying someone, so I'm going to leave this.

Well, I'm in my late twenties and never been in a relationship, though I've gone out one dates and stuff. I don't believe in "matches" or soul mates or true love, I think it does exist but in the real world it is very rare. I can think of so many people that I know that are in relationships simply because they can't imagine being alone, or perhaps are terrified of it. I don't quite understand this mindset, as I've been "alone" my whole life, but what I do know is that these people are not strong individuals. So many of these relationships are unhealthy, there truly is no real compatibility with the couple and it truly does appear that the relationship exists out of this inability to be alone.

The first relationship I got with a soulmate was when I was 36 years old. The time with the soul-mate made up for many years of waiting for a moment like that. However, unfortunately it didn't last because she had a shady past as well and I'd have to violate my own principles and conscience to proceed with that relationship. However, do believe me when I say, the experience with that made up for the time wandering, like you are and ending up with dead-ends or crazy-type girls.

If the experience wasn't that good, I wouldn't encourage you to wait for the right soulmate. There has to be a moment that makes up what you have experienced thus far and are experiencing with women. Things just can't go on like this forever.

I truly don't think there is anyone out there for me, I'm just too different and unique from other people so I honestly can't see myself ever being truly compatible with someone to that degree. Granted, I have friends and can enjoy my time with them but they are very different than I am and also I'm obviously not sleeping with them, living with them or around them to any degree comparable to that of a girlfriend.

But that's precisely the point. It's because you are too different and unique there has to be someone out there for you that would either appreciate that and see something special in you, or would be that way herself in such a way that you feel comfortable being with her.
If you do find someone, she's going to stick with you like glue and you are going to be in a total bliss state of being with someone that is compatible or accepting of who you are.

My posts here vary from extremely negative to extremely positive. However, in this case, I have to be positive, because I did have a great past experience and magical moments at some point. I didn't have anything going in my 20s or before I met that first soul mate. I may have had some isolated stuff here or there but nothing on that level. We eventually broke-up but the point is that the experience made up for the romantic desert before I met her.

As for the women I've met and dealt with, I do in fact feel what you mentioned about shady pasts and all that is probably the case. Without getting into details, I can look back on all of the different women I've had interactions with over the years and can honestly say that there were underlying issues that I was really not aware of. I used to believe that these women were full on bat **** crazy or legitimately enjoyed messing with me, something about them just seemed off.

For instance- There was a woman I met about 2 years ago at the gym, she was seeing someone but she continued to interact with me whenever I was there. I was really attracted to her but something felt off, though I just ignored it. I had stopped talking to her around December of 2017 and a few months later I found out she was a communist/Marxist that was VERY politically active in our area. She organized anti Trump protests, one of which had completely blocked the downtown area of my city and had lead to a lot of arrests and injuries. I found other news articles about her hosting these rallies at a park to change it's name from Christopher Columbus to something else.

Yeah, some of these women feel like they are recruiters for their cause rather than being genuinely interested in you. They have to be nice with everyone so they can get more people marching to their cause, lol!