Oneitis and lost frame

[tibrit]

Hey Everyone

i read The Rational Male some time ago and remembered this Forum as it was quoted quite often. I am desperate for advice as i am stuck in a serious oneitis where the usual freeze isn't a option as we live together.

So i moved to a new city to go to college a few months ago and share an apartment with an absolute hottie.

When i moved in and saw her the first time i instantly thought "not in my league anyways, i won't even try. Maybe try to make her a friend for social proof or even better a pivot."
Don't get me wrong, i have dated some really hot chicks. But this one is just a different caliber. You just instantly know it when you see a girl like her (me at least).

So maybe this was the perfect mindset to get her interested in me idk but we got warm to each other really fast. Almost every night we talk and watch some movies, we went to some partys together and she introduced me to her friends. And also couple stuff like grocerie shopping together, cook together and go out to eat.

While doing that she constantly tells me about all the guys hitting on her ( i have never ever seen a girl with more orbiters than her) and even talks with her friends about her last dates while me sitting next to them. I never showed any kind of neediness when she has done that and tried to quickly change the topic.

I already accepted to be in the friendzone and tbh i was quite happy with the situation as i thought i am living in a new city and already found a friend which is one of the hottest girls in town. On top of that f*** your roommate isn't the best idea anyways.

Well that changed a few weeks ago as we went out for some drinks and she said she would never make the first move with a guy. This was finally the first clear hint she gave me. Back at home i thought f*** it and kissed her and we ended up having really wild sex. It was like she was desperately waiting for me to make a move.

The following days we had sex a couple of times and then she went to her hometown for a week. During this week i dated two other girls and realized how bad my oneitis already is as i was absolutely uninterested in them.

She texted me almost everyday during that week and when she came back we had sex the last time.
Sex was always initiated by me. Even when we are lying in bed she doesn't make any move until i am going for it.

But for the last 10 days or so she blocked everytime i tried to initiate sex and that was when i completely lost my frame and got needy af.

She is still constantly around me the whole day seeking my attention and me needy as i am right now am giving all my attention to her. I even let her sleep in my bed after she turned down sex.
She is giving me a lot of double binds and P&P like talking about going to holiday together in summer and immediately afterwards telling me about a date she had last week. Or telling me how horny she was the whole day and then rejects sex telling me she is too tired.

I know the way to go should be a strict freeze but how do you do that living together in a small apartment?
Another important point is that she is done studying in about a month and will move out and go back to her hometown which is hours away so i actually don't even know if i will see her again after this month. So does a freeze even makes sense in this case?

Thanks for hearing me out

 

[soulforge]

You are getting PLAYED big time!

 

[soulforge]

I would get out of that situation as quickly as possible..

Tell her to leave or you leave the property.

If you are not BANGING her, she isn't worth your time.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Hey Everyone

i read The Rational Male some time ago and remembered this Forum as it was quoted quite often. I am desperate for advice as i am stuck in a serious oneitis where the usual freeze isn't a option as we live together.

Dudebro, find a new hot girl as fast as possible (hit the club or pick her up in the super market, 7 Eleven - whatever), fuuck her , dump her, then find a new hot chick as soon as possible and pump her, dump her, rinse and repeat and the OneItis flue will by far by gone before you can count to 1,2 3..


And yes, as SoulForge says:

Tell her to leave or you leave the property.

If you are not BANGING her, she isn't worth your time.

Which is also very true.

(Unless you can convert her to your winggirl and use her to pickup hot chicks at the nightclub. lulz )
You should still kick her out though.

 

[xplt]

i would stop initiating sex. let her wonder why you stopped initiating. for me this worked almost everytime

 

[soulforge]

Take away completely her drug..Zero attention!

 

[xplt]

Take away completely her drug..Zero attention!

yep, try to be busy, so you don't have time for her. but don't let her feel that you are pissed off or so, control yourself and behave like nothing happened.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

i would stop initiating sex. let her wonder why you stopped initiating. for me this worked almost everytime

Yeah fuucking friendzone her! Chicks gets a total brain power circuit of that. Ha ha, cuz they are not used to it.. lulz (and it works).

 

[tibrit]

Thanks for your fast advice.
I will try to be more distant but still keep it friendly.
Yesterday night i made the most desperate attempt to get sex i ever made in my life as i just walked in her room and said i am horny lets do it. She obviously declined.... too tired blah blah

When she came home today she walked in my room and the first thing she told me was she just came back from a date with a dude who has a girlfriend yada yada yada. I responded 'hope you had fun' and told her i am really busy right now.

10 mins later she walks in again and asks me if i am mad at her because of what happened yesterday night. I told her nah i was just super horny let's forget it and tell her again i am busy studying.
Then she starts telling me that she doesn't want to exaggerate it with the sex and whilst in the middle of her exams she doesn't think a lot about men and sex in general.

Is there any hope left?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Thanks for your fast advice.
I will try to be more distant but still keep it friendly.
Yesterday night i made the most desperate attempt to get sex i ever made in my life as i just walked in her room and said i am horny lets do it. She obviously declined.... too tired blah blah

When she came home today she walked in my room and the first thing she told me was she just came back from a date with a dude who has a girlfriend yada yada yada. I responded 'hope you had fun' and told her i am really busy right now.

10 mins later she walks in again and asks me if i am mad at her because of what happened yesterday night. I told her nah i was just super horny let's forget it and tell her again i am busy studying.
Then she starts telling me that she doesn't want to exaggerate it with the sex and whilst in the middle of her exams she doesn't think a lot about men and sex in general.

Is there any hope left?

Stop acting needy immediately. You should be playful with her. Tease her but only when she comes to you. Let's say she comes to you like in the above, after a date. Say something like 'oh you must be pretty wound up then, wanna blow off some steam?' In a cool seductive manner. Maintain a take or leave it attitude, not caring enough to be phased by either answer. When she says 'no' or gives an excuse just shrug and say 'suit yourself' or 'your loss' in a playful way with a confident grin and go back to what you were doing. If you can't do this in a smooth way then spend as little time at the apartment as possible. Get super busy. study at the library or a coffee shop until you can keep your sheet together and not care. Go hang out with friends, go do anything. Let her text you asking where you are and playfully answer the questions a couple hours later because you're busy.

She has you wrapped around her finger and that's the last place you want to be. You need to be in a place where nothing she says can get under your skin. You don't just come up to a woman and swing your pickle at her and say 'lets mash these body parts together'. You seduce her. Let her come to you and every time she does just lightly tease her relentlessly. Let her get frustrated. If she comes to you playfully then you playfully grope her and joke with her then pull back and say you're busy with something. Don't be afraid to give her some sexual frustration. Let her work for that pickle. You don't force things or argue. You tease and joke in a sexy way. When she declines advanced shrug and say 'your loss' in a seductive manner and go back to your work. Tease her and pull away. Maintain your frame always. Keep in mind the goal of teasing, use her as teasing practice and nothing else unless she's begging for it.

 

[Robert28]

If you’re getting sex or have gotten sex then you ain’t in a friend zone. No friend zone I’ve ever heard of anyways. I don’t know what the hell youre in honestly. Friend zone is where girls stick you to torture the **** out of you and won’t leave you alone even though you try to avoid them. They force that **** on you. Friend zone wasn’t too bad back in the 90’s but now it’s changed, feminists hate the word because they know deep down it’s such bs.

I’m 36 and you’d think that was too old to be friend zone as it’s a thing with teenagers and people in their 20’s. Nope. Women will friendzone the **** out of you no matter how old you are. I used to deny their friend zone but finally said screw it, friend zone me all you want but I don’t have to talk or hangout with you ever. Most guys sit around and waste time in it, not me. You can friend zone me but you will lose me forever. I don’t care if you tell everyone I just wanted to get in your pants, don’t care if you call me petty. I don’t sit around long enough for them to talk about other dates they had in front of me.

The thing is women are hiding that you’ve been friend zoned now, used to be they’d come right out and say it. Now they don’t cause too many guys have done what I’ve done, ghost as soon as they let me know what I was.

 

[Medina]

I'm not sure what the problem is

So you're living with a smoking hot room mate that you fvcked

And you're complaining about this?

She ain't yours dude, it's just your turn

I would slap her a$$ around the kitchen and go live my life with purpose

I mean jesus christ life could be a hellava lot worse

 

[flowtheory]

Hey Everyone

i read The Rational Male some time ago and remembered this Forum as it was quoted quite often. I am desperate for advice as i am stuck in a serious oneitis where the usual freeze isn't a option as we live together.

So i moved to a new city to go to college a few months ago and share an apartment with an absolute hottie.

When i moved in and saw her the first time i instantly thought "not in my league anyways, i won't even try. Maybe try to make her a friend for social proof or even better a pivot."
Don't get me wrong, i have dated some really hot chicks. But this one is just a different caliber. You just instantly know it when you see a girl like her (me at least).

So maybe this was the perfect mindset to get her interested in me idk but we got warm to each other really fast. Almost every night we talk and watch some movies, we went to some partys together and she introduced me to her friends. And also couple stuff like grocerie shopping together, cook together and go out to eat.

While doing that she constantly tells me about all the guys hitting on her ( i have never ever seen a girl with more orbiters than her) and even talks with her friends about her last dates while me sitting next to them. I never showed any kind of neediness when she has done that and tried to quickly change the topic.

I already accepted to be in the friendzone and tbh i was quite happy with the situation as i thought i am living in a new city and already found a friend which is one of the hottest girls in town. On top of that f*** your roommate isn't the best idea anyways.

Well that changed a few weeks ago as we went out for some drinks and she said she would never make the first move with a guy. This was finally the first clear hint she gave me. Back at home i thought f*** it and kissed her and we ended up having really wild sex. It was like she was desperately waiting for me to make a move.

The following days we had sex a couple of times and then she went to her hometown for a week. During this week i dated two other girls and realized how bad my oneitis already is as i was absolutely uninterested in them.

She texted me almost everyday during that week and when she came back we had sex the last time.
Sex was always initiated by me. Even when we are lying in bed she doesn't make any move until i am going for it.

But for the last 10 days or so she blocked everytime i tried to initiate sex and that was when i completely lost my frame and got needy af.

She is still constantly around me the whole day seeking my attention and me needy as i am right now am giving all my attention to her. I even let her sleep in my bed after she turned down sex.
She is giving me a lot of double binds and P&P like talking about going to holiday together in summer and immediately afterwards telling me about a date she had last week. Or telling me how horny she was the whole day and then rejects sex telling me she is too tired.

I know the way to go should be a strict freeze but how do you do that living together in a small apartment?
Another important point is that she is done studying in about a month and will move out and go back to her hometown which is hours away so i actually don't even know if i will see her again after this month. So does a freeze even makes sense in this case?

Thanks for hearing me out

Simple. Just tell her your feelings, bro!
Haha jk don’t do that. Never talk about the relationship unless she brings it up.

Simple advice though. You did what many have done. You lost your frame. You became dependent and made it too simple.

What made her want you in the first place? Your non needy and relaxed behaviour because you thought you didn’t have a chance; so your vibe was ‘I just like kicking it with this chick’.
So this was different than every guy she experiences. Because like you said she’s really hot and has tons of guys pumping her ego up.

Sad news. You became one when you got laid.

Adjustment: go back to not needing her sex, affections, or attention. Just be the once cool guy you started off to be. But this time.. know you have more power and realize you have other options if you want. Just knock off the whole gf/bf trip in the summer thing. Get off of labels. Take it day by day and be abundant.
Get out of your emotions for the time being, out of your feminine energy, and give her the space and make her wonder about you. Remember women are cats.

 

[Robert28]

Simple. Just tell her your feelings, bro!
Haha jk don’t do that. Never talk about the relationship unless she brings it up.

Simple advice though. You did what many have done. You lost your frame. You became dependent and made it too simple.

What made her want you in the first place? Your non needy and relaxed behaviour because you thought you didn’t have a chance; so your vibe was ‘I just like kicking it with this chick’.
So this was different than every guy she experiences. Because like you said she’s really hot and has tons of guys pumping her ego up.

Sad news. You became one when you got laid.

Adjustment: go back to not needing her sex, affections, or attention. Just be the once cool guy you started off to be. But this time.. know you have more power and realize you have other options if you want. Just knock off the whole gf/bf trip in the summer thing. Get off of labels. Take it day by day and be abundant.
Get out of your emotions for the time being, out of your feminine energy, and give her the space and make her wonder about you. Remember women are cats.

Solid advice! Works too! Girl friend zoned me after I acted like a needy fool and pushed for a relationship. I had to go back to before I acted like that when she was attracted to me, I did this while in the friend zone. Made HER text me first. Always. No matter what. She would too. When we went out we’d have an awesome time and I wouldn’t even flirt with her or touch her or if she said “I look fat in that pic” I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t about to give her compliments. I didn’t last in the friend zone long before she pulled me out and locked me down.lol

 

[JohnChops]

I'm not sure what the problem is

So you're living with a smoking hot room mate that you fvcked

And you're complaining about this?

She ain't yours dude, it's just your turn

I would slap her a$$ around the kitchen and go live my life with purpose

I mean jesus christ life could be a hellava lot worse

^^that. However, the issue is he became very attached. My guess is that if he had 2-3 more women he was talking to that were just as hot or hotter, he would be able to do the above, but since right now he seems like he isn't pursing other women (that he rates higher than this girl), he is in a mental bind.

You had her, and lost her because you became needy. I would be short with her, keep busy studying , and be on the look out for hotter/better women at school. Bring them back to your place, hell even if it's for a "study session: youll get her wondering "wow why is he focusing on other girls and not me now." Then after awhile start being playful with her again once you got your mind off of her and your d1ck in other women.

 

[tibrit]

Thank you again for your posts.
So kind of like i expected there is no other way than to cut contact with her as short as possible eventhough that means i probably won't f*** her again till she leaves in a month.

I just keep overanalyzing the situation and i'm curious where i got into.

Like Robert28 said: "If you’re getting sex or have gotten sex then you ain’t in a friend zone. No friend zone I’ve ever heard of anyways. I don’t know what the hell youre in honestly."

I have no fecking clue.

I kept "ignoring" her the whole day while she was constantly trying to get my attention. Then she noticed i am on my way to the gym and she asked if she can come with me and i didn't know how to turn that down so i went to the gym with her but minding my own business over there.
Back home she even cooks for me lol.

Then she leaves saying she is going to a friend to study. Fast forward 3 hours later she brings her date from earlier today in our apartment.
Just right now she casually asked if i want to come over in her room to smoke a cigarette with her and that dude. (Textbook Beta btw)

Seriously wtf is going on?

I definitely have to find some other chicks to get out of this mind****

 

[flowtheory]

Seriously wtf is going on?

Go out with a new girl. Have the new girl over. Really enjoy your time with new girl; laugh and flirt. You’ll see her cards afterwards.
Game on.

 

[Glassguy]

Women do not give mixed signals (I learned the hard way years ago).

Women do covert things to get their point across. As men we generally dont notice what they are really trying to say (early on) or we fail to acknowledge what they are trying to say (later on).

Rule #1 for dating glassguy:

Make it clear and easy or I wont be around for your "mixed signals". When communication isnt clear and intent, I use silence and distance and give your attention to other plates that are making it clear and easy.