Why do I feel so content whenever I don't deal with women?

[sangheilios]

Since my near total disaster of my first ever tinder/OLD date 2 weeks ago I've just been focusing on other things in my life and not really interacting with women in regards to trying to get dates and all that.

Anyway, I've just noticed that I feel very happy and content with my life right now and enjoying every minute of it. I'm killing it with my investments and working a bit more, which has obviously lead to even more gains in regards to my finances. I'm continuing to workout, staying active and just taking care of my body.....actually getting a massage tomorrow. Been spending a lot of time with my friends and enjoying their company. In addition to all of this I've just been enjoying my own company as well, reading, watching movies, etc.

What I'm currently feeling in my life is also a trend I've noticed in the past, where I'd never be involved at all with the opposite sex in any way shape or form.

Now in opposition to this I've noticed a strong trend in my adult life that whenever I've gotten involved with women it always leads to my life becoming rather unhealthy. Whenever they are around I feel tons of stress and anxiety, not just with them but in life in general. Nothing flows naturally and my entire life just becomes unbearable. Feelings of anger, annoyance, disgust, hatred become very strong during these times.

Is this a sign that women are just not for me? I've reflected upon this in the past but I was discussing this with someone I know the other day, who is a female btw, and I'm starting to feel that this may truly be the case for me. I'm in my late twenties, so I feel like I'm at an age where these experiences and my thoughts around them are legitimate.

 

[marmel75]

Then stay away from women then. You obviously dont have the patience necessary to succeed with them at this point.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I notice that you ask this same question very often, in different words. The question is essentially, "Should I just live a celibate life, not involving myself with women?"

You aren't going to find answers to this question externally and it makes no sense to ask. It's like asking someone else what your favorite color is. Only you can decide if this path is right for you.

I would, however, encourage you to take a deep and honest look into yourself as to your motivations for asking this question repeatedly. Could it be that you are simply frustrated by the one thing in life that you've been unable to have success with, and you are really seeking strength and encouragement from others to continue trying? There can only be two answers to your question from outside observers:
1. Yeah, stop trying to date women
2. No, please, don't give up! You got this!

Which one are you really looking for?

Nothing good in life comes easy. In life, you'll be faced with many challenges. Some of these challenges will be easy to solve because they play to your natural strengths. Some will be incredibly frustrating because they will require substantial, painful, frustrating self-development of your weakest areas. For a smart independent guy with a history of social issues from nature and nurture, it's not surprising to me that you've done well in school, career, investment, etc, while struggling with women (who require strong social skills to succeed with).

You already know you have a lot of work to do in social development, and you should also recognize the challenges this causes you when interacting with women. It's simply up to you as to whether you will avoid women and focus only on your current strengths and abilities, or if you will face your fears, emotions, and weaknesses to grow as a person. It will be difficult and rewarding, and it will require a major mindset shift away from "I don't like this, I should just stop, it's too hard," to, "I'm enjoying the process and framing my journey in such a way that every interaction and experience brings me closer to becoming a better and more complete, satisfied person."

The choice is yours. I've chosen option B and it's been a difficultand sometimes painful journey, but the rewards have been vast. I now see and know things that even my friends who used to be more successful with women than me don't. And what I've learned has extended beyond women and into friendships, family, career, and personal happiness.

 

[flowtheory]

Is this a sign that women are just not for me?

It means you haven’t been able to come in to a place with the opposite sex where you can freely be yourself and give from abundance; no expectations. Your issue lies within your need and thinking a woman is their to facilitate your happiness. A woman should compliment your existence.

And you’re legitimizing your thoughts in your conclusion based out of fear.

 

[Mike32ct]

Oldmanofthesea makes great points.

It is an interesting philosophical question. Max your strengths and avoid your weaknesses or (somewhat) compromise your strengths (by taking time away from them) and shore up your weaknesses.

Philosophically, I lean slightly towards the former. There is a part of me that wished I never got involved with any women. I should have just geek-maxxed and gone for full wizard status lol. Career-max, read books, invest and go permanent monk mode/MGTOW.

But I also have some great memories from this game that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Sanghelios, if you truly wanted to go full MGTOW, you wouldn’t be on this site. Take a break from women if you wish for now; then get back in the game,

 

[The Duke]

Since my near total disaster of my first ever tinder/OLD date 2 weeks ago I've just been focusing on other things in my life and not really interacting with women in regards to trying to get dates and all that.

Anyway, I've just noticed that I feel very happy and content with my life right now and enjoying every minute of it. I'm killing it with my investments and working a bit more, which has obviously lead to even more gains in regards to my finances. I'm continuing to workout, staying active and just taking care of my body.....actually getting a massage tomorrow. Been spending a lot of time with my friends and enjoying their company. In addition to all of this I've just been enjoying my own company as well, reading, watching movies, etc.

What I'm currently feeling in my life is also a trend I've noticed in the past, where I'd never be involved at all with the opposite sex in any way shape or form.

Now in opposition to this I've noticed a strong trend in my adult life that whenever I've gotten involved with women it always leads to my life becoming rather unhealthy. Whenever they are around I feel tons of stress and anxiety, not just with them but in life in general. Nothing flows naturally and my entire life just becomes unbearable. Feelings of anger, annoyance, disgust, hatred become very strong during these times.

Is this a sign that women are just not for me? I've reflected upon this in the past but I was discussing this with someone I know the other day, who is a female btw, and I'm starting to feel that this may truly be the case for me. I'm in my late twenties, so I feel like I'm at an age where these experiences and my thoughts around them are legitimate.

Sounds like women bother you because you don't have the experience necessary to succeed with them. Practice, practice, practice.......don't take them so seriously. Eventually they start dancing for you, instead of you dancing for them. Everything is a struggle when you are learning.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Don’t take us seriously is good advice. Don’t fight back or entertain us if we are being illogical or ridiculous. Call it out in a nice but logical way. Assuming she’s in the frame of mind to listen and understand. Let her emotions pass first. silent treatment sometimes is best for this if she won’t STFU. I hate to say this but it’s true of both genders at times that we act like children.

 

[flowtheory]

Don’t take us seriously is good advice.

Don’t rely on her for your validation. However, listen to what she is trying to communicate as any relation should be grounded in respect. And the more you can understand her, the easier your life and hers will be.

Don’t fight back of entertain us if we are being illogical or ridiculous.

Never lose your masculine frame by sinking in to argument. Nothing good ever arises out of scorn or admonishment.

Call it out in a nice but logical way.

Quickly, and calmly show her you understand her emotions but reiterating back to her how she feels and why. Then let her understand logically the objective scenerio.

Let her emotions pass first.

Space. Freedom. Be okay with letting her take it or walk. The cat will come back to the man who didn’t set fire in her direction. They always test you inner emotional state.

silent treatment sometimes is best for this is she won’t STFU.

Removal of time and attention (your giving). Good time to set a boundary or highlight an existing one. Stonewalling will cause resentment on her end; refrain from this. Give again when you desire.

it’s true of both genders at times that we act like children.

Children are emotional beings. A man can’t be engaged constantly in his emotions. Has to stay internally fortified to lead. Spraying emotions in a detrimental way is emotional poverty; and one would be doing so because of an internal lack which is coming from an unmet internal need, therefore attempting to take from someone else.

 

[Alvafe]

Since my near total disaster of my first ever tinder/OLD date 2 weeks ago I've just been focusing on other things in my life and not really interacting with women in regards to trying to get dates and all that.

Anyway, I've just noticed that I feel very happy and content with my life right now and enjoying every minute of it. I'm killing it with my investments and working a bit more, which has obviously lead to even more gains in regards to my finances. I'm continuing to workout, staying active and just taking care of my body.....actually getting a massage tomorrow. Been spending a lot of time with my friends and enjoying their company. In addition to all of this I've just been enjoying my own company as well, reading, watching movies, etc.

What I'm currently feeling in my life is also a trend I've noticed in the past, where I'd never be involved at all with the opposite sex in any way shape or form.

Now in opposition to this I've noticed a strong trend in my adult life that whenever I've gotten involved with women it always leads to my life becoming rather unhealthy. Whenever they are around I feel tons of stress and anxiety, not just with them but in life in general. Nothing flows naturally and my entire life just becomes unbearable. Feelings of anger, annoyance, disgust, hatred become very strong during these times.

Is this a sign that women are just not for me? I've reflected upon this in the past but I was discussing this with someone I know the other day, who is a female btw, and I'm starting to feel that this may truly be the case for me. I'm in my late twenties, so I feel like I'm at an age where these experiences and my thoughts around them are legitimate.

this is a sign I would say you are afraid of woman, whn woman are involved you feel presure, you give they existance too much power, I also notice you mention this in a way not only when dating but in general even when you was talking with a woman without the "feelings" of wanting her (or at least I belive you don't).

so first things first, try to remember the first time you started to feel like this, you will need to undertand why it did happen and let it go, you need to undertand you shouldn't be afraid, it is in your mind

but taking a time off to cool off and get your life in place is always good, woman should add to your life not be a speed bump

 

[flowtheory]

undertand why it did happen and let it go, you need to undertand

Undertand it’s spelt underStand
hahah just razzing man

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think its because you

Sounds like women bother you because you don't have the experience necessary to succeed with them. Practice, practice, practice.......don't take them so seriously. Eventually they start dancing for you, instead of you dancing for them. Everything is a struggle when you are learning.

Or when you are trying to hard. Or when your angry with women. Or your forcing. Or your dealing with under interested babes.

Stay with the basics:
1. Females choose
2. Females must invest
3. Sex early and often

A highly interested woman will climb a mountain for the man she wants. Deal with those women.

We get effed up chasing women, dealing with under interested women, letting sex be strung along or minimized or tolerating poor behavior.

My opinion on sanghelios is he harbors anger towards women. Which they sense and it repels them. He also has an elitist attitude and a high standard and checklist with zero current success. When he goes on a date or around them he needs something positive to happen and hes working too hard. He needs to be more relaxed and outcome independent. I suggest a steady source of puzzy from a gf that is attractive enough that likes him.

 

[logicallefty]

Then stay away from women then. You obviously dont have the patience necessary to succeed with them at this point.

Patience? Maybe. I would put it more towards being that he doesn’t have the tolerance. He has figured out that the stuff he is doing besides women is a better use of his time.

Kudos OP. I think u should stay the course. And if you get to where you want women again, deal with them in such moderation as to where they don’t derail your progress on other things.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I'm not as deep as other users regarding such topic, personally I appreciate women when I have a high libido both a physical and a mental one.

When I'm not in that mode or when I'm focused on achieving something and need a clear plan and no hassle, I find women to be a pain in the ass to deal with, their nonsense and vanity and most of all herd mentality really stress me.

I'm not talking about sexual or romantic meeting , I mean that random call center girl from my bank who doesnt get what I'm trying to explain and that they guy beside her gets in 10 seconds.

Right now I opted for a very soft form of mgtow and I find it working greatly, I approach and chat with girls in public places and try to close the deal the same day while I get lukewarm when it comes of settling dates and plan future meetings, the whole logistic of dealing with women is too stressful to be balanced from what I get in return.

 

[logicallefty]

I'm not as deep as other users regarding such topic, personally I appreciate women when I have a high libido both a physical and a mental one.

When I'm not in that mode or when I'm focused on achieving something and need a clear plan and no hassle, I find women to be a pain in the ass to deal with, their nonsense and vanity and most of all herd mentality really stress me.

I'm not talking about sexual or romantic meeting , I mean that random call center girl from my bank who doesnt get what I'm trying to explain and that they guy beside her gets in 10 seconds.

Right now I opted for a very soft form of mgtow and I find it working greatly, I approach and chat with girls in public places and try to close the deal the same day while I get lukewarm when it comes of settling dates and plan future meetings, the whole logistic of dealing with women is too stressful to be balanced from what I get in return.

lol about the call center girl. So true. But Come on man, don’t you know, the white night male manager of the bank or female feminist manager (hired by a white knight) couldn’t have just hired come two competent men instead. That’s against their EEOC policies. Or Ice Cube said in one of the Friday movies “Bitche$ gotta eat too”

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Its Somthing Ive been dealing with my entire adult existance. Ive tried living with women in the past and hated it. I think the soft MGTOW is best for me as well. Go on dates and have brief relationships or FWB, but maintain my own living space "man cave" so I can get away and have "me time."

 

[marmel75]

Patience? Maybe. I would put it more towards being that he doesn’t have the tolerance. He has figured out that the stuff he is doing besides women is a better use of his time.

Kudos OP. I think u should stay the course. And if you get to where you want women again, deal with them in such moderation as to where they don’t derail your progress on other things.

OP is delusional. Every post is about how women avoid him like the plague after between 1-3 interactions with him but yet he still thinks there is something wrong with them not him.

 

[sangheilios]

Sorry for the late replies, I had a lot of stuff going on since I created this thread.

I notice that you ask this same question very often, in different words. The question is essentially, "Should I just live a celibate life, not involving myself with women?"

You aren't going to find answers to this question externally and it makes no sense to ask. It's like asking someone else what your favorite color is. Only you can decide if this path is right for you.

I would, however, encourage you to take a deep and honest look into yourself as to your motivations for asking this question repeatedly. Could it be that you are simply frustrated by the one thing in life that you've been unable to have success with, and you are really seeking strength and encouragement from others to continue trying? There can only be two answers to your question from outside observers:
1. Yeah, stop trying to date women
2. No, please, don't give up! You got this!

Which one are you really looking for?

Nothing good in life comes easy. In life, you'll be faced with many challenges. Some of these challenges will be easy to solve because they play to your natural strengths. Some will be incredibly frustrating because they will require substantial, painful, frustrating self-development of your weakest areas. For a smart independent guy with a history of social issues from nature and nurture, it's not surprising to me that you've done well in school, career, investment, etc, while struggling with women (who require strong social skills to succeed with).

You already know you have a lot of work to do in social development, and you should also recognize the challenges this causes you when interacting with women. It's simply up to you as to whether you will avoid women and focus only on your current strengths and abilities, or if you will face your fears, emotions, and weaknesses to grow as a person. It will be difficult and rewarding, and it will require a major mindset shift away from "I don't like this, I should just stop, it's too hard," to, "I'm enjoying the process and framing my journey in such a way that every interaction and experience brings me closer to becoming a better and more complete, satisfied person."

The choice is yours. I've chosen option B and it's been a difficultand sometimes painful journey, but the rewards have been vast. I now see and know things that even my friends who used to be more successful with women than me don't. And what I've learned has extended beyond women and into friendships, family, career, and personal happiness.

As long as I actually put in the effort and have some sort of goal in mind I've always done very well with anything related to academics/intellectual pursuits, work, money, etc. I have above average intelligence, I'm very conscientious, have a high work ethic and a high standard of personal behavior/morals. Because of these traits I'm able to profit immensely, especially when others see them as well they will go out of their way to help me out. I am by nature very developed in regards to more logical/concrete qualities but when it comes to dealing with women I'm like completely incapable of making anything happen. However, I don't know if it really is ME or if it's a combination of the qualities I have plus those of the women that are around me, because I do actually feel that is part of it.

For example- There is a guy in my area that I met/knew of back in November. He was short, unattractive, poor/deadbeat, did drugs, was of poor character/possible criminal and was not at all a charming individual. However, despite this he was able to land women and it was extremely confusing to me, as he literally brought nothing to the table. I realize that the women he would be with were like him, obviously, but it still didn't make any sense to me.

Oldmanofthesea makes great points.

It is an interesting philosophical question. Max your strengths and avoid your weaknesses or (somewhat) compromise your strengths (by taking time away from them) and shore up your weaknesses.

Philosophically, I lean slightly towards the former. There is a part of me that wished I never got involved with any women. I should have just geek-maxxed and gone for full wizard status lol. Career-max, read books, invest and go permanent monk mode/MGTOW.

But I also have some great memories from this game that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Sanghelios, if you truly wanted to go full MGTOW, you wouldn’t be on this site. Take a break from women if you wish for now; then get back in the game,

It isn't in my biological programming to not want women lol. When I see a nice thick butt or juicy bouncy boobs I obviously want to enjoy them lol.

 

[sangheilios]

Sounds like women bother you because you don't have the experience necessary to succeed with them. Practice, practice, practice.......don't take them so seriously. Eventually they start dancing for you, instead of you dancing for them. Everything is a struggle when you are learning.

Women bother me because of that but also because it feels like they literally go out of their way just to mess with me, lead me on, etc.

Don’t take us seriously is good advice. Don’t fight back or entertain us if we are being illogical or ridiculous. Call it out in a nice but logical way. Assuming she’s in the frame of mind to listen and understand. Let her emotions pass first. silent treatment sometimes is best for this if she won’t STFU. I hate to say this but it’s true of both genders at times that we act like children.

I try not to, but as I've mentioned it feels like I meet a lot of women that legitimate are going out of their way to troll me, as I mentioned above. I've had women actually come over to ask me out just to cancel a date shortly after through text and then disappear off the earth. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to try, as I get super frustrated and angry, which results in those fillings spilling over into my life.

Patience? Maybe. I would put it more towards being that he doesn’t have the tolerance. He has figured out that the stuff he is doing besides women is a better use of his time.

Kudos OP. I think u should stay the course. And if you get to where you want women again, deal with them in such moderation as to where they don’t derail your progress on other things.

Like I said, the interactions I have with women just stress me out and it creates issues with other things I have going on in my life. I'm not sure if this is a result of purely myself, the women I'm actually by chance meeting out here or a combination of the two.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I don't know if it really is ME or if it's a combination of the qualities I have plus those of the women that are around me, because I do actually feel that is part of it.

You are limited in your area, for sure, but there are women out there who you find attractive and who you could get with if you improved your game. You'd have more options in a bigger city for sure, but to move to a bigger while changing nothing else about yourself and expecting to see your success with women make a huge improvement would be foolish. You can work on your game NOW.

For example- There is a guy in my area that I met/knew of back in November. He was short, unattractive, poor/deadbeat, did drugs, was of poor character/possible criminal and was not at all a charming individual. However, despite this he was able to land women and it was extremely confusing to me, as he literally brought nothing to the table. I realize that the women he would be with were like him, obviously, but it still didn't make any sense to me.

This should be proof that it's all about game. It's what you need to work on. For you, it's game, and framing. Framing your mind to see your failures as successes.... with each "failure" or rejection, you learn a little more and get a little better. If it helps encourage you, I will say my learning curve has been exponential. It's like a jet airliner taking off..... long and slow at the start but really increases speed as you go. Success builds off success. The more success you get, the more confidence you get. The more confidence you get, the more women want you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Speed dating. You need to build a social and connectivity side to lower intellect types.