Single, childless women are happier

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Thanks for the replies, interesting POVs. I have had a question through. I see on this forum about “value” or both genders. What does that mean? Value to each other (as in you’re a value man to your partner) or value to society? And further, value to society in what way? As someone who is at the age that advertisers target? Or value in adding something meaningful to society? Just curious. I feel high value but i wonder your criteria.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I cannot ever know what's going on inside of you but I highly, highly doubt this is true. Just call me a skeptic.

The "evolving and changing" part is hogwash, no matter what. That's indoctrinated group-think. If you want us to take you seriously, you're going to have to get away from the trendy talk.

Again, it seems that your thoughts are very intentional. That's different from natural tendencies. I have no doubt you tell yourself you want to be single and never have kids. I am skeptical of how you really feel. No clue how much soul searching you've really done.

i reflect quite a bit! It’s one of my favorites things to do. So are you saying that i will most likely either get my tubal reversed or change my mind and want kids eventually? The single part I am open to that my view may change. the no kids... I just think i’ll never change that. Same with being began. My family told me it was a phase. I would outgrow it, etc. i am open to that too. But it’s been a 25 year “phase” so far.

it is possible i am defective in some way because of these feelings and the desire to stay single and not wanting kids. I have to accept that. Doesn’t make me upset or anything. just have to accept i am not doing what most are.

Yes! My thoughts and actions are intentional. I usually dont just accept the status quo or do things because i was told that was the right way or because that’s always how it was done. i do like to think and ponder and experiment myself to find what is best for me. So in that way, maybe i am going against biology. interesting.

 

[Epic Days]

Thanks for the replies, interesting POVs. I have had a question through. I see on this forum about “value” or both genders. What does that mean? Value to each other (as in you’re a value man to your partner) or value to society? And further, value to society in what way? As someone who is at the age that advertisers target? Or value in adding something meaningful to society? Just curious. I feel high value but i wonder your criteria.

I don’t do LTRs, (I’m not stupid), so her value to me would be our connection. I’m a dominant. It is a double edge sword of course.
I have a propensity to be pretty aggressive in life. It does me justice but it can get out of hand if I am not careful.
A good connection calms me and takes the edge off. So she is valuable through the connection. Beyond that, I don’t see the correlation.

I can be a little impatient with the passive types and I’m getting better at understanding them. I can see their world through my eyes now.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Wow! okay, so far i have heard from a few that the relationship may help create balance. This is something i have not thought of. Awesome, thanks! I admit to missing some things about being married. Not sure those things would sway me to want to be in a relationship. I have discussed this idea with someone i am seeing: he is planning on buying property and having... well he calls it a shed, i prefer “tiny house.” I was playing with the idea (not doing it, just a thought experiment) of getting my own tiny house on the property and paying for half the property. Living separately but on the same property and having a relationship (not totally monogamous). I am wondering if it’s possible to remain individual and mostly separate in a relationship and have the benefits of the relationship without the downfalls. The balance thing makes sense and also for the shared experiences need.

Thanks for your input so far guys, it’s appreciated.

 

[Epic Days]

Wow! okay, so far i have heard from a few that the relationship may help create balance. This is something i have not thought of. Awesome, thanks! I admit to missing some things about being married. Not sure those things would sway me to want to be in a relationship. I have discussed this idea with someone i am seeing: he is planning on buying property and having... well he calls it a shed, i prefer “tiny house.” I was playing with the idea (not doing it, just a thought experiment) of getting my own tiny house and paying for half the property. I am wondering if it’s possible to remain individual and mostly separate in a relationship and have the benefits of the relationship without the downfalls.

Thanks for your input so far guys, it’s appreciated.

What’s important about this thread is that guys should be reading it.

There is not one thing in it that isn’t reflective of females. They have to be able to see it. Some still have a lot of social conditioning that will have to be removed first.

From spinning plates all the way to the possibility of perhaps a relationship and going in with a tiny house. There’s so much in it.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I believe it depends A LOT from the environment we all live in, clearly if you are in your 20s and 30s living in a big city you have much more fun as single person...not that sure after your 50s especially for women when the pvssy privilege disappears so do most of the things they like to do, they become invisible to men and to people in general.

I believe men suffer more in their 20s as single due to their minor opportunities for social life while the more time pass the less guys have to lose while its the opposite for girls, no one wants to hang out with a middle aged woman not even other middle aged women.

And we all know women dont really have hobbies or activities that do not involve socialization.

On the other side living in a boring town as a single person unless you have an overwhelming desire for freedom, is not as pleasable especialli if there is a crappy weather and everything closes at 8pm.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I believe it depends A LOT from the environment we all live in, clearly if you are in your 20s and 30s living in a big city you have much more fun as single person...not that sure after your 50s especially for women when the pvssy privilege disappears so do most of the things they like to do, they become invisible to men and to people in general.

I believe men suffer more in their 20s as single due to their minor opportunities for social life while the more time pass the less guys have to lose while its the opposite for girls, no one wants to hang out with a middle aged woman not even other middle aged women.

And we all know women dont really have hobbies or activities that do not involve socialization.

On the other side living in a boring town as a single person unless you have an overwhelming desire for freedom, is not as pleasable especialli if there is a crappy weather and everything closes at 8pm.

Thanks! I can understand why you come to these conclusions but i think you’re missing some very relevant points that may change your theories.

1. Your first point about living in a city versus a boring town can be true if one never travels or leaves that town or does not have the option to move. I live in a medium ( sized town that has a small downtown with live music, restaurants, tiki hut on the gulf, etc.) Some may consider it boring compared to actual cities. It depends what you prefer. I prefer nature and less crowds but also some nightlife and events. The thing is, having no kids or serious partners gives me the freedom and flexibility to move anywhere I want! i may end up moving to AZ in a few years because, well i can. i don’t have to compromise with anyone else.

2. Your point about being over 50 and essentially invisible to men makes the assumption that i feel like i need to have a d*ick in me for my happiness and fun. Even now at 39 I see my ability to attract men and have sex as something that’s not on my radar. For now it’s been sort of fun dating just for the experience. It’s also a chore and i am leaning toward it not being worth it because my end goal isn’t a relationship, just experiences and fun.

3. Hobbies. All my hobbies are individual hobbies. Geocaching, yoga, video games, traveling, sailing, boating, paddleboarding, rock climbing (indoor in FL), whitewater rafting, reading, playing guitar etc. Meaning i have done ALL of these things on my own. I can do with others if i chose. I go to movies alone, i saw Fleerwood Mac alone this past year, am taking a trip to MA soon... alone. I am content with my own company and i really don’t get bored ever. But it is nice to be able to socialize on my terms if i choose to.

4. It doesn’t matter where one lives ever. Maybe its just me but i travel whenever i want. I have the paid time off and money to do so. for the most part i travel alone (way more fun than with another for tons of reasons) but i also have traveled with my hubby, friends or someone i am seeing. So living in a boring town (i don’t, my town is where people come to vacation) is a non factor.

5. I think 40 is middled aged, right? The statement “no one wants to hang out with a middle aged women” has NOT been my experience at all! In fact the opposite. I am in my sexual peak due to crazy hormones and am super sexual (that’s partly why i am having fun dating) but i have lots of friends, married mostly some single both men and women that are always wanting to go out. surprisingly even male friends that i DONT sleep with. Maybe some people do grow old and some don’t.

None of your points convinced me so far. Still the balance thing is the most convincing. It is nice to have a male perspective and energy. One guy i am seeing provides me that. But i am not his “primary” GF. I consider him a plate as i do not want a future with him.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Thanks! I can understand why you come to these conclusions but i think you’re missing some very relevant points that may change your theories.

1. Your first point about living in a city versus a boring town can be true if one never travels or leaves that town or does not have the option to move. I live in a medium ( sized town that has a small downtown with live music, restaurants, tiki hut on the gulf, etc.) Some may consider it boring compared to actual cities. It depends what you prefer. I prefer nature and less crowds but also some nightlife and events. The thing is, having no kids or serious partners gives me the freedom and flexibility to move anywhere I want! i may end up moving to AZ in a few years because, well i can. i don’t have to compromise with anyone else.

2. Your point about being over 50 and essentially invisible to men makes the assumption that i feel like i need to have a d*ick in me for my happiness and fun. Even now at 39 I see my ability to attract men and have sex as something that’s not on my radar. For now it’s been sort of fun dating just for the experience. It’s also a chore and i am leaning toward it not being worth it because my end goal isn’t a relationship, just experiences and fun.

3. Hobbies. All my hobbies are individual hobbies. Geocaching, yoga, video games, traveling, sailing, boating, paddleboarding, rock climbing (indoor in FL), whitewater rafting, reading, playing guitar etc. Meaning i have done ALL of these things on my own. I can do with others if i chose. I go to movies alone, i saw Fleerwood Mac alone this past year, am taking a trip to MA soon... alone. I am content with my own company and i really don’t get bored ever. But it is nice to be able to socialize on my terms if i choose to.

4. It doesn’t matter where one lives ever. Maybe its just me but i travel whenever i want. I have the paid time off and money to do so. for the most part i travel alone (way more fun than with another for tons of reasons) but i also have traveled with my hubby, friends or someone i am seeing. So living in a boring town (i don’t, my town is where people come to vacation) is a non factor.

5. I think 40 is middled aged, right? The statement “no one wants to hang out with a middle aged women” has NOT been my experience at all! In fact the opposite. I am in my sexual peak due to crazy hormones and am super sexual (that’s partly why i am having fun dating) but i have lots of friends, married mostly some single both men and women that are always wanting to go out. surprisingly even male friends that i DONT sleep with. Maybe some people do grow old and some don’t.

None of your points convinced me so far. Still the balance thing is the most convincing. It is nice to have a male perspective and energy. One guy i am seeing provides me that. But i am not his “primary” GF. I consider him a plate as i do not want a future with him.

I understand your points, I do not agree with most but if it works for you its ok.

Regarding the statement that you are at your sexual peak at 39, I respectfully disagree about a woman being at any peak at all especially sexual after her chances of getting pregnat and give birth to a sane kid drastically reduced.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I understand your points, I do not agree with most but if it works for you its ok.

Regarding the statement that you are at your sexual peak at 39, I respectfully disagree about a woman being at any peak at all especially sexual after her chances of getting pregnat and give birth to a sane kid drastically reduced.

I agree if that’s your criteria for peak. Not only that my my body was way tighter in my 20s. So if looks and ability to get pregnant are your criteria you’re right, i am not. That’s from a male perspective so makes perfect sense.

From a female POV, due to hormones most women are way more horny in their 30s and especially 40s (it’s scientific and ill grab the facts). Additionally women my age are generally way more confident and secure about our bodies than we were in our teens and 20s. That means for me I am willing and eager for new sexual experiences (kinky stuff, dressing like a slut for him, dirty talk etc). So that’s why i say i am in my prime sexually now more than ever. Plus my body is still pretty good! I have had the best sex in the last two years than ever! But no, i can’t get pregnant (tubal ligation) lol.

When i look back at my sexual experiences in my 20s i was repressed and “shy” about my body. I regret that, wasted time. I was also more concerned with what was thought of me. At 38, i met a man online and we met and spent time at a park. I took him to my apartment that night. I had NEVER done this before. At mine, he said “you’re a bit of a sl^t, aren’t you.” I starter to protest and then stopped and said, “yes, i suppose i am.”. lol. He wasn’t being insulting, he was calling out what i had done with him. and he was right. That’s when he had me hooked. Plus he wouldn’t sleep with me that night. Dude has the best game i have ever seen

 

[Trump]

I think your heart wants children and marriage, but are trying to convince your mind you are happier single and childless at 39, hence you go looking for all these scientific studies to prove your mind right.

With each post you are trying to convince yourself more: “I am happier single, who needs a husband, I’m single, I’m rich, I’m beautiful, I got everything a 39 women could ask for.” That way you have defended yourself and no one can attack you if you are not married with children

More power to you if that’s want you want, but when you go googling studies about it, I think deep down you want it.

 

[Medina]

I've noticed a pattern in women like yourself OP. It's never enough for you to make these "unconventional" decisions and go live your life, oh no, you have to push your agenda onto others and promote and encourage them to do the same. I see this in particular with women who date black guys, have you noticed they can never keep it to themselves? What this tells me is that you are deeply insecure about your decisions and you want other people to validate them. You want other people to be like you. But the ugly truth is, no one really cares. Only you do

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I think your heart wants children and marriage, but are trying to convince your mind you are happier single and childless at 39, hence you go looking for all these scientific studies to prove your mind right.

With each post you are trying to convince yourself more: “I am happier single, who needs a husband, I’m single, I’m rich, I’m beautiful, I got everything a 39 women could ask for.” That way you have defended yourself and no one can attack you if you are not married with children

More power to you if that’s want you want, but when you go googling studies about it, I think deep down you want it.

I am having a discussion with you guys, not trying to convince. I enjoy debate, hearing other opinions and being swayed to change my mind.

I am open to anything in life. I am not very dogmatic or set in my ways. So any of it is possible. I still have a hard time believing that sometime in my 40s and beyond I will want kids. I didn’t have that desire when i was a “little girl” nor in my teens or 20s nor when i was married nor in my 30s. So maybe the 40s will be the change! haha. Just seems highly unlikely. The relationship thing is what i am exploring now. I have been dating in various ways for the past three years. Exclusive relationship, poly, causal one or two night stands, poly etc. to see if any work for me or improve upon my current happiness. So far i prefer single, not even a casual relationship.

we will see! i’ll check back in in a few years. Also, i have zero reason to lie or try to convince anyone here. i dont know anyone here nor care what you think of me personally. i just love the discussion. I would admit anything here!

Adding: i didn’t Google a study. The study was discussed on a podcast i listen to called Skeptics Guide to the Universe. They are science advocates. I was surprised at the study and then posted it here for a great discussion! I wanted to hear male POVs. So thanks!!

I am actually trying to convince myself why i should be in a relationship. When I am happier when i am not. I was concerned it’s not healthy that i want to stay single. I am forcing myself to date at this moment, and am seeing 4 guys. I can’t make the leap though. I am super grateful for what i have though! And i am nowhere near rich or beautiful. Those interpretations of what i said makes me think you are coming into this discussion with some baggage and putting in on me... maybe? But am i happy, yeah.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I've noticed a pattern in women like yourself OP. It's never enough for you to make these "unconventional" decisions and go live your life, oh no, you have to push your agenda onto others and promote and encourage them to do the same. I see this in particular with women who date black guys, have you noticed they can never keep it to themselves? What this tells me is that you are deeply insecure about your decisions and you want other people to validate them. You want other people to be like you. But the ugly truth is, no one really cares. Only you do

I haven’t noticed that with myself. Others tend to do that with everything though, you’re right. Vegans, whatever new diet they are one, political views etc. That’s not a trait i have. to each their own is my philosophy. perhaps you are misunderstanding my intent posting and discussing this? I just wanted to hear differing opinions and insights. it’s been great so far! You may be either generalizing ot projecting but any assumptions you make about me can’t be accurate based on one thread. I see your point though. Those that preach or push are probably wanting validation.

 

[Epic Days]

i just love the discussion. I would admit anything here!

Good. So I have a question for you. I already know the approximate answer. So this is for the guys here. Beings you are being honest.

“Take in all your girlfriends. Married or unmarried. But especially the married. What percentage would you say are having affairs or have had affairs? BJs and secret hand jobs count as affairs.”

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Good. So I have a question for you. I already know the approximate answer. So this is for the guys here. Beings you are being honest.

“Take in all your girlfriends. Married or unmarried. But especially the married. What percentage would you say are having affairs or have had affairs? BJs and secret hand jobs count as affairs.”

Oh wow. Will this shock you or not. A solid 99.9%. I mean even my mom had an affair. Women are WAY worse about infidelity than men. Not only that we are way more devious and ruthless. Emotional affairs (women tend to start there) almost always turn physical.

*This is just from my experience and what i have done and witnessed.

 

[Epic Days]

Oh wow. Will this shock you or not. A solid 99.9%. I mean even my mom had an affair. Women are WAY worse about infidelity than men. Not only that we are way more devious and ruthless. Emotional affairs (women tend to start there) almost always turn physical.

*This is just from my experience and what i have done and witnessed.

You were honest. I appreciate honesty.

“Women are WAY worse about infidelity than men. Not only that we are way more devious and ruthless. Emotional affairs (women tend to start there) almost always turn physical.”

This is why I jump all over women and especially men when they soften this with social programming crap. A solid 99.9% and even your mom.
I’ve always known this. Men have silly things like honor that they are held to.
You just made this thread more valuable than you know.

The lowest number I have ever gotten was 95%. This was in a Mennonite area while I was working in Alberta on permit from the states.

 

[Epic Days]

For my friends. You’re welcome.
@Jager

From a woman:
Oh wow. Will this shock you or not. A solid 99.9%. I mean even my mom had an affair. Women are WAY worse about infidelity than men. Not only that we are way more devious and ruthless. Emotional affairs (women tend to start there) almost always turn physical.”

Stop being so pathetic. Let go of your wretched beliefs.

 

[Kotaix]

Given that the "study" is coming from the huffington post, and the cookie-cutter buzzword content, I'm going to call it what it is: feminist propaganda garbage. Just like the body positivity movement tries to make fat people feel like less a fat POS, this article is just a huge tub of feels flavored ice cream for the women that feminism has brainwashed into being miserable and single for the rest of their lives and are too old to have kids now. There isn't anything new here. Second wave feminism did this to women in the 70s and many of those women now deeply regret not having children and are alone now.

Adding: i didn’t Google a study. The study was discussed on a podcast i listen to called Skeptics Guide to the Universe. They are science advocates. I was surprised at the study and then posted it here for a great discussion! I wanted to hear male POVs. So thanks!!

Science... All I have to say to that is Bill Nye The Bullsh!t Guy. I hope one day to rip a huge fart next to him and waft it in his face.

I'm extremely weary of what gets called science these days. Feminism and intersectionality have tarnished or even ruined the good name of science. I watched multiple facebook science pages go from outlets that shared interesting scientific articles to full-on propaganda machines spreading bullsh!t about "gender science". They use the same M.O. as that idiot David "Avocado" Wolfe: three or four links to something legit and then one link to something totally retarded. I eventually got banned from all of those groups for daring to question the groupthink lies.

 

[Spaz]

I cannot ever know what's going on inside of you but I highly, highly doubt this is true. Just call me a skeptic.

The "evolving and changing" part is hogwash, no matter what. That's indoctrinated group-think. If you want us to take you seriously, you're going to have to get away from the trendy talk.

Again, it seems that your thoughts are very intentional. That's different from natural tendencies. I have no doubt you tell yourself you want to be single and never have kids. I am skeptical of how you really feel. No clue how much soul searching you've really done.

Agreed.

OP needs to dig deeper, much deeper then she's willing or comfortable right now.

 

[Spaz]

On the other side living in a boring town as a single person unless you have an overwhelming desire for freedom, is not as pleasable especialli if there is a crappy weather and everything closes at 8pm.

Hahaha

Especially when it's snowing with temperatures at - 30.

I'll never want to live in Sweden again.

I oftentimes joke to my Swedish counterparts that it's because of their horrendous climate that drives their men indoors and that's when they come up with inventions.

They have the smallest port but they produces most of the equipment's that ports worldwide uses.