Single, childless women are happier

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Any thoughts regarding this study?

Women Are Healthier And Happier Without A Spouse Or Kids: Expert

And they live longer.

www.huffingtonpost.ca

 

[redskinsfan92]

They want younger women to choose a career over having a family. They want them slaving away for the corporation to drive the economy and their profits. It's tragic. The young woman will be led by a man. She'll either be led by a man who loves her or a man in a high rise office who just cares about profit. Which woman do you think is happy? The 40 year old woman with 5 kids and a family or the 40 year old woman with 5 cats and a middle management position at a company that wouldn't give 2 sh1t$ if she drove off a bridge? Which one is replaceable? Which one is happy? Hmm, I don't need a study to tell me what to believe!

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

They want younger women to choose a career over having a family. They want them slaving away for the corporation to drive the economy and their profits. It's tragic. The young woman will be led by a man. She'll either be led by a man who loves her or a man in a high rise office who just cares about profit. Which woman do you think is happy? The 40 year old woman with 5 kids and a family or the 40 year old woman with 5 cats and a middle management position at a company that wouldn't give 2 sh1t$ if she drove off a bridge? Which one is replaceable? Which one is happy? Hmm, I don't need a study to tell me what to believe!

Interesting analysis, thanks! I tend to think there’s a middle ground. I am now single (and childless) and am happier than ever! So we will see. I can only compare it to my marriage and/or when i am in a relationship. My friends with kids and a hubby seem pretty miserable at this point (40).

 

[eli77]

interesting article we shouldn't be surprised

 

[speed dawg]

Huff Post, no thanks.

As for the OP. Are you truly happy? Only you know this, deep down.

I only say this because damn near everything we do is driven by sex and relationships. Humans have a longing for purpose, companionship and to procreate. Articles like this are nothing more than INTENTIONAL denying of these human traits. Stats can paint whatever picture you want.

Even gays want to procreate....what sense does that make?

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Yes, i feel content at this point.

Huff Post, no thanks.

As for the OP. Are you truly happy? Only you know this, deep down.

I only say this because damn near everything we do is driven by sex and relationships. Humans have a longing for purpose, companionship and to procreate. Articles like this are nothing more than INTENTIONAL denying of these human traits. Stats can paint whatever picture you want.

Even gays want to procreate....what sense does that make?

Not everyone wants to procreate though. It may be our biological imperative in the past but i think that’s evolving and changing. I never once had the urge to have babies. Like, ever. I always had different goals. I was told for years that i would change my mind “when i got older,” “when i fell in love,” “when i was married,” etc. I tried to get a tubal when i was 22 and was denied. Docs won’t perform them on women under a certain age. i did get older, i have been in love several times, i even was married. Procreating was just never my path. I love to have freedom, money, travel, meet new people, spend time alone, have a clean apartment, etc. i am so thankful i never got knocked up! So i disagree that’s our goal here, or at least every one’s goal.

Am i happy? Hard question, philosophical. But i say yes! I am super appreciative and grateful to be alive and get a chance to play at life. Am i thrilled every day? Nope, it’s ups and downs and exciting and mundane but overall i am positive and happy.

My only goal is really to learn and understand. to me, that’s my baby. lol. As Carl Sagan said, “understanding is a kind of ecstasy.” It’s pretty much orgasmic for me.

I don’t buy that just because we are driven to do something in the past (as a species) that it means that’s how it will always and should be. We make our own choices and meaning.

Hope this makes some sense. To be honest i thought i was going to get a lot of hate for posting that article. But it’s been something i have been thinking about for years (i was married 20 years, 3 years divorced) and am recently wondering if maybe i do just value being single over a relationship. It seems wrong to want that, and society says its wrong. I am never lonely or wanting. i actually found this forum when i was Googling “is it okay to be single forever” and the plate theory thread popped up.

Being single doesn’t mean i am alone or without companionship. i have experienced that when i choose to go out alone i meet WAY more people and have way more interesting adventures than when i go out with a date or when i did with my hubby. It’s like the world is there for me to explore and i don’t have the limits most of my friends have (kids, a partner, no money because of that).

 

[Epic Days]

It's a Huffington Post article.

I'm not a leftist and they would not print a legitimate, statistically backed article that went against the social narrative. I can write an article that substantially supports feminism or against feminism. That doesn't mean its not full of conjecture and opinion slanted with the air of "expert".

An Expert is a guy from out of town with a suitcase.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I think if you had something to fight for, you'd want to procreate. It's a sigh of relief and breath of fresh air, when a woman holds her newly plopped out baby and looks down upon it and smiles. There's great joy and laughter and sunny days to come. If there was a fight for your people, your RACE, your tribe, then you'd wanna procreate. I've been reading sci-fi Larry Niven's "Destroyer of Worlds" and he speaks of an alien race called the Pak that fights for his own tribe WITHIN his race against aliens just like him. So, of course, any of the other aliens such as humans are going to be up against and must treat him as Dangerous when coming into contact with him for the first time. A Race that goes around conquering other tribes, is going to surely be more advanced. You must keep him stunned and locked inside an airlock on the ship, and he may still get out. You have nothing to fight for.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Bu the way, Huffington Post is one of many that posted the results of this study. It’s not an opinion piece. Just wanted to point that out. Fox news outlets also posted the results of the study. There was an actual study performed. Huffington others just reported the findings. Just wanted to clarify that since some are not down with certain outlets.
I first heard of the study on the Podcast, Skeptics” Guide to the Universe. They are a science based group. Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics conducted the study.

Redirect Notice

Redirect Notice

Women who are unmarried and childless are the happiest people of all, according to a professor of behavioral science

"If you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don't bother," advised happiness expert Paul Dolan.

www.google.com

Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert

Behavioural scientist Paul Dolan says traditional markers of success no longer apply

www.google.com

 

[user43770]

I could see women in their 20s being happier single and childless. Especially when their fathers are still taking care of them financially. They have no responsibility, they're in and out of romantic relationships, they travel the world etc.

But this study doesn't jive with the countless articles written by women in their 30s, 40s and beyond, bemoaning the fact that they can't find a man.

 

[Spaz]

Since you're been honest in other threads I'll entertain you with my mind.

You hv that nagging feeling of something that's not right.

Ur mind says you don't want it, children etc, you try to convince urself logically, have it all figured out but that feeling just doesn't dissipates does it ?

Hence this thread.

I could tell you why if you admit it.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Since you're been honest in other threads I'll entertain you with my mind.

You hv that nagging feeling of something that's not right.

Ur mind says you don't want it, children etc, you try to convince urself logically, have it all figured out but that feeling just doesn't dissipates does it ?

Hence this thread.

I could tell you why if you admit it.

lol! Thanks for the reply. that’s a good theory but not sure it’s accurate. I started the thread because from what i read on here many of you guys are pretty intelligent and insightful. I basically feel the opposite of what you said. i feel “not normal” because i don’t want a relationship (not wanting kids always made sense to me). So i wanted to hear the opinions here. I said somewhere else on the forum that i am forcing myself to date at this point because it seems to be the normal, healthy thing to do. But i turn down so many dates and chances at relationships with great men because i just enjoy being single so much. maybe that will change “when i grow up” haha. But I never grew into wanting children either. As far as kids i was always paranoid about getting pregnant. I got a tubal ligation two years ago and it’s been one of my best decisions. Now i dont worry if the condom malfunctions or i have sex without one and my sex has been so much more fun and raw and passionate. The tubal is pretty permanent lol and i have wanted once since i was ~22.

so i cant in good conscience admit it yet. but i would love to continue to hear opinions. This forum is a rare place where people seem to take the time to read and make thoughtful replies! Thanks guys!

i am 40 this September by the way. My best friend and most of my friends are married with kids. my best friend is MISERABLE. She’s always broke, lost attraction to the hubby is sleeping with dudes outside the marriage. Another of my friends, same thing. i was married at 17/18 until 36 while they were all single.So its interesting because i am not following their paths.

I don’t have any nagging feelings that i am aware of. Other than I need to save more for retirement and travel way more in the now. That does nag me. i can’t even imagine having a child. i feel like my life would be over and i love my current life! I am more wanting to dissect why i don’t want a relationship. i know i have passed up some great men...

 

[Spaz]

lol! Thanks for the reply. that’s a good theory but not sure it’s accurate. I started the thread because from what i read on here many of you guys are pretty intelligent and insightful. I basically feel the opposite of what you said. i feel “not normal” because i don’t want a relationship (not wanting kids always made sense to me). So i wanted to hear the opinions here. I said somewhere else on the forum that i am forcing myself to date at this point because it seems to be the normal, healthy thing to do. But i turn down so many dates and chances at relationships with great men because i just enjoy being single so much. maybe that will change “when i grow up” haha. But I never grew into wanting children either. As far as kids i was always paranoid about getting pregnant. I got a tubal ligation two years ago and it’s been one of my best decisions. Now i dont worry if the condom malfunctions or i have sex without one and my sex has been so much more fun and raw and passionate. The tubal is pretty permanent lol and i have wanted once since i was ~22.

so i cant in good conscience admit it yet. but i would love to continue to hear opinions. This forum is a rare place where people seem to take the time to read and make thoughtful replies! Thanks guys!

i am 40 this September by the way. My best friend and most of my friends are married with kids. my best friend is MISERABLE. She’s always broke, lost attraction to the hubby is sleeping with dudes outside the marriage. Another of my friends, same thing. i was married at 17/18 until 36 while they were all single.So its interesting because i am not following their paths.

I don’t have any nagging feelings that i am aware of. Other than I need to save more for retirement and travel way more in the now. That does nag me. i can’t even imagine having a child. i feel like my life would be over and i love my current life! I am more wanting to dissect why i don’t want a relationship. i know i have passed up some great men...

New found freedom is exhilarating. I understand that, from ur perspective.

U r searching for answers, perhaps I will make a thread on women's personality one day, but in essence it's more or less explained in one of my threads - the thread for expressive men.

But remember that even the strongest man alive, both mentally and physically cannot be alone for long, his mind will unravel and soon followed by his body.

As such what u r going through is a transition or if you like a transformation, bits and pieces of you are missing and you want to get it all back to feel whole again without getting tangled up in a relationship.

And until you do so, it's unlikely that you'll want to jump into a relationship.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Perhaps. I have been single only three years. Who knows if eventually i will want (or crave) a relationship. I an open to that possibility.

As far as being alone, I never feel lonely. I know that if i wanted company, i can have it. Maybe that’s the difference between a male and female. For example when i go out alone, people ALWAYS approach me to talk, flirt or just smile and say hello (i tend to smile a lot because lots of small things make me smile). Last Sunday I went to brunch alone and a couple asked me to join them. I didn’t because i wanted to work on something i was writing. But that’s not an unusual occurrence. So i have no fear of being alone. and i know we all need other people to learn and grow. plus it’s nice to have shared experiences. my one male plate told me his biggest fear is being (or ending up?) alone. he said as a single male, he hates going out alone. He said males have a very different experience in that you guys aren’t seen as harmless and approachable. You may be looked at as a lone “creeper.” I guess i enjoy female privilege.

I do feel whole though and i am happier than i have ever been. I have so many things i want to do though and I think if a guy would come along and is going my way, that’s fine. but i wouldn’t want to get involved in the work a relationship takes and putting my life “on hold”. I did that for 20 years in my marriage.

I can’t find what value being in a serious relationship would being me. Can you list the advantages maybe? I have a beautiful apartment in a great downtown location, good paying job with 5 weeks PTO (been there 7 years), so i have money, friends, freedom, options. I don’t have to compromise if i don’t choose to.

I posted elsewhere that i was spinning plates. i got some replies that disagreed that i am and i think maybe they are right. I am “seeing” 3-4 men right now but i am not trying to find an LTR. And while they are droppable and replacable, i do value them and put effort into the relationship (just not as much as i would if they were more serious relationships). But it’s very much on my terms and i am up front with them about this. take it or leave it.

thoughts? How could a relationship benefit me? Yea, i am always searching for answers. i love to learn and i read and think a lot of philosophy, sociology and science stuffs. Obviously you know that because of my screen name, and it’s been a name i have used for 15 years.

 

[Spaz]

thoughts? How could a relationship benefit me?

I can only speak of myself in terms of relationship and what it means to me.

As I'm naturally dominant, I'm prone to do unimaginable things to fellow men, either to advance myself or to advance the group of people under my leadership.

But it does eat on my soul after its all done and won.

This is where women in my life comes into play, an important function to keep me whole or rooted, not going off a tangent of excessive aggressiveness.

Women that I'm in a relationship with keep my natural aggressiveness at bay.

A form of balance, an equilibrium for masculinity with the presence of femininity.

Plus my plates has amusing stories to tell of their shopping, gossips, gardening, pets, work and other feminine stuff. I listen and it amuses me to no end.

This is why I have plates and its all a relationship for me being captain of the ship and them the executive officers.

I don't know how this will help you because its from a man's view point but it was made with the off chance that it might assist you in some way.

 

[FairShake]

Most men out there are pretty poor at relationships so I'm sure single, childless women get more out of travelling, wine with friends, time with dogs, watching Netflix, and discretionary than they would fighting with their spouse/boyfriend.

Most women out there are pretty poor at relationships too but men don't do as well being single as women do. Women tend to have more and better friends than men are more positive hobbies than video games, drinking, and gambling.

 

[Epic Days]

Bu the way, Huffington Post is one of many that posted the results of this study. It’s not an opinion piece. Just wanted to point that out. Fox news outlets also posted the results of the study. There was an actual study performed. Huffington others just reported the findings. Just wanted to clarify that since some are not down with certain outlets.
I first heard of the study on the Podcast, Skeptics” Guide to the Universe. They are a science based group. Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics conducted the study.

Redirect Notice

Redirect Notice

Women who are unmarried and childless are the happiest people of all, according to a professor of behavioral science

"If you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don't bother," advised happiness expert Paul Dolan.

www.google.com

Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert

Behavioural scientist Paul Dolan says traditional markers of success no longer apply

www.google.com

Oh good. Then they are good to go until death. We don’t have to date, LTR or marry them and the social narrative will stop trying to brainwash men into marrying these so called “happy” women. You and I are in agreement. Let them age and die. Good to go.

I’m happy with that. It’s slanted. No matter how many links you post. Now do the same study with the same women in three years. That bojohn expert is a liberal hack.

If it’s true then that social narrative about how valuable they are will cease and desist.

 

[Epic Days]

New found freedom is exhilarating. I understand that, from ur perspective.

U r searching for answers, perhaps I will make a thread on women's personality one day, but in essence it's more or less explained in one of my threads - the thread for expressive men.

But remember that even the strongest man alive, both mentally and physically cannot be alone for long, his mind will unravel and soon followed by his body.

As such what u r going through is a transition or if you like a transformation, bits and pieces of you are missing and you want to get it all back to feel whole again without getting tangled up in a relationship.

And until you do so, it's unlikely that you'll want to jump into a relationship.

I was going to go that way as well. I just wanted a piece of the action on the liberal hack links. It’s garbage.

 

[Spaz]

I was going to go that way as well. I just wanted a piece of the action on the liberal hack links. It’s garbage.

OP gets brownie points for her posts in soulforge thread hence me being in here.

 

[speed dawg]

Not everyone wants to procreate though. It may be our biological imperative in the past but i think that’s evolving and changing. I never once had the urge to have babies. Like, ever. I always had different goals.

I cannot ever know what's going on inside of you but I highly, highly doubt this is true. Just call me a skeptic.

The "evolving and changing" part is hogwash, no matter what. That's indoctrinated group-think. If you want us to take you seriously, you're going to have to get away from the trendy talk.

Again, it seems that your thoughts are very intentional. That's different from natural tendencies. I have no doubt you tell yourself you want to be single and never have kids. I am skeptical of how you really feel. No clue how much soul searching you've really done.