I Messed Things Up With Her.. I Think

[soulforge]

So been seeing her 3-4 months.

Yes some red flags she has, but I have been assessing her, without rushing in head first.. Watch and observe is my policy.

I gave her exclusivity recently too.

Here is where I think I furked up..

A couple of days ago, she asked me to ring her occasionally early in the morning, so she can get out of bed and do some excercise..

She said she struggles to get up, so me waking her up makes sense.

I rang her this morning and she didn't pick up the phone.. I waited an hour and called back, again she didn't pick up.

3 hours later she sends me a text message apologising & stating she slept through my calls and didn't hear the alarm either.

I called her up, and I have to admit I was a little pizzed off.

I simply said, why ask me to ring you, if either your phone isn't set to loud enough to wake you? Or your just not going to wake up because you sleep so deep.

To me it just seemed illogical, that I am trying to wake someone up who doesn't even hear the phone.

After the phone call, I could tell she seemed miffed off about me telling her off.

I have to admit, I feel bad about saying anything to her... I should have just rang her, she didn't pick up, just get on with my day, and make a point not to call her again.

She seems angry about it, and her text message back to me, have been very limited.

Maybe she is expecting me to apologise or to CHASE her.

I should have stayed quiet or simply not bothered ringing her at all.. Not my job to act like your alarm clock.

Her last text message to me was a simple...Ok Xx

If she doesn't message me tonight or tomorrow, should I just ghost and move on?

I feel like she is making a drama out of this or testing my frame.

 

[backseatjuan]

So been seeing her 3-4 months. Yes some red flags she has, but I have been assessing her, without rushing in head first.. Watch and observe is my policy. I gave her exclusivity recently too.

Is this the p0rn chick that has her p0rn pics on p0rn hub?? @sazc

Here is where I think I furked up.. (YEA) A couple of days ago, she asked me to ring her occasionally early in the morning, so she can get out of bed and do some excercise.. She said she struggles to get up, so me waking her up makes sense.

Well fck me if I'm wrong, but me dumb ass, would think that she wants an orbiter to call her ass up in the morning so whatever.... Whatever for whatever. maybe her boyfrined was there.. Whatever..

I rang her this morning and she didn't pick up the phone.. I waited an hour and called back, again she didn't pick up.

Inconvient bra, she was fcking and stuff, and you called and then called back. Wtf man. Were youu going to ask how to shoot a p0rn film?

3 hours later she sends me a text message apologising & stating she slept through my calls and didn't hear the alarm either.

Alright bra, totally acceptable. It is called nesting, she is trying to push you into relationship with her.


Blah blah blah blah, you could tell I did not read. So f off. Her ass is manipulating your ass into relationship with her the best she knows. Blah.

On a different note, I really love to see your ass on p0rnhub with her @sazc

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Ha I would never agree to that. You lost when you did. Tell her that you're not her alarm clock and that you're busy in the mornings. You not only cowed to her silly requests(which were meant to shift power in her favor), but you got upset about it later when she didn't pick up. Women do this all the time to try and get you to orbit. Some women are so good at it, so subtle. Refuse in a kind way.

 

[soulforge]

Noooo man... This is not some p0rn chick...

This is a girl I had on plate status.. But recently went exclusive with..

You got me thinking about Sacz ass Now!

 

[soulforge]

Ha I would never agree to that. You lost when you did. Tell her that you're not her alarm clock and that you're busy in the mornings. You not only cowed to her silly requests(which were meant to shift power in her favor), but you got upset about it later when she didn't pick up. Women do this all the time to try and get you to orbit. Some women are so good at it, so subtle. Refuse in a kind way.

I agree with you man.. My mistake wasn't getting pizzed with her for asking me to call.

My mistake was agreeing to calling her azz in the first place.

 

[backseatjuan]

My mistake was agreeing to calling her azz in the first place.

Ayyyy

Anyway, did you have 3some?

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

She’s a grown up and needs to take responsibility for herself. She also seems codependent by her controlling actions with you (making you call her). She really needs to set an alarm and grow up. You enabled her by allowing that arrangement and you also are at her whim now. To me it’s a super controlling move on her part. As a female, i have done this and it’s never for good reasons or intentions. It’s basically to see if we can lead our puppy when we pull the leash. Unchain yourself and don’t take responsibility for her actions.

 

[soulforge]

She’s a grown up and needs to take responsibility for herself. She also seems codependent by her controlling actions with you (making you call her). She really needs to set an alarm and grow up. You enabled her by allowing that arrangement and you also are at her whim now. To me it’s a super controlling move on her part. As a female, i have done this and it’s never for good reasons or intentions. It’s basically to see if we can lead our puppy when we pull the leash. Unchain yourself and don’t take responsibility for her actions.

I just found it to be totally Illogical, to ask me to ring her to wake her up.. Then not answer the phone?

Then claim that she didn't hear it ringing.

If she doesn't hear her phone when alseep, then what is the point of asking me to ring her in the first place?

Now she is pizzed off with me, because I pointed out how illogical this was.

I sent her a text early in the day, explaining that I wasn't having a go at her, but she seems distant now.

Got a one word OK text from her...

Do I reach out again? Or let her come to me, otherwise move the fuk on.

 

[soulforge]

Ayyyy

Anyway, did you have 3some?

Lol nahh only in my dreams

 

[soulforge]

She’s a grown up and needs to take responsibility for herself. She also seems codependent by her controlling actions with you (making you call her). She really needs to set an alarm and grow up. You enabled her by allowing that arrangement and you also are at her whim now. To me it’s a super controlling move on her part. As a female, i have done this and it’s never for good reasons or intentions. It’s basically to see if we can lead our puppy when we pull the leash. Unchain yourself and don’t take responsibility for her actions.

Thanks for the advice..

Why even ask me to call, when you don't even hear your phone ringing? Or you simply just sleep through phone calls.

Where is the logic in that.. Unless she had something to hide, maybe she had someone over and wasn't expecting me to call.

How do I play this now? My guess is she will end it with me, or I won't hear from her in days.

Maybe I should just fuk this off, as she has turned this into a fukin drama? And a power play!

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I just found it to be totally Illogical, to ask me to ring her to wake her up.. Then not answer the phone?

Then claim that she didn't hear it ringing.

If she doesn't hear her phone when alseep, then what is the point of asking me to ring her in the first place?

Now she is pizzed off with me, because I pointed out how illogical this was.

I sent her a text early in the day, explaining that I wasn't having a go at her, but she seems distant now.

Got a one word OK text from her...

Do I reach out again? Or let her come to me, otherwise move the fuk on.

Even her REQUESTING you do that for her should have raised flags. Like i said, she is controlling you that way. She wants to make sure you do what she tells you. It will “show her” that you care. But to me it’s extremely passive aggressive and immature. It’s not your job to wake her up, it’s hers. Doens’t matter if she answers or not. She looked to see if you called like she told you to. I bet if you missed a day, she would throw it up to you about how you don’t care etc. Stop that behavior now whether you continue to see her or not. The answer to the question “why ask me to ring if she doesn’t pick up”, as i said she is just making sure she can make you do what she wants and when. When men comply, we know we have them at our beck and call. Ironically, we are not attracted to men like that. It’s not respectable to us.

 

[soulforge]

Even her REQUESTING you do that for her should have raised flags. Like i said, she is controlling you that way. She wants to make sure you do what she tells you. It will “show her” that you care. But to me it’s extremely passive aggressive and immature. It’s not your job to wake her up, it’s hers. Doens’t matter if she answers or not. She looked to see if you called like she told you to. I bet if you missed a day, she would throw it up to you about how you don’t care etc. Stop that behavior now.

Thats not quite true.. I didn't call her every day, and I missed many days, she didn't complain about it.

But I get your point.. How do I move forward with this?

Explain to her again that I wasn't intentionally having a go at her?

Or just see if she reaches out to me.

 

[soulforge]

Jesus.

First, you didn’t lose frame because you did something you wanted to do, I.e., agreed to give her a little courtesy call so she can get up and work out. You lost it when it didn’t go the way you expected, started a thread wondering wtf you should do and started taking advice from people who are telling you it’s a huge power struggle and/or she already has some other guys balls in her mouth.

Second, if you’re going to look at every little tit for tat situation as a power struggle or signs of cheating, you’re not secure enough to be in a LTR. Just keep spinning plates because all of this paranoia is going to keep you there always looking for the next one anyway.

Third, anyone who works out daily is going to have those days when they just don’t feel like doing it. Ever think maybe that’s why she didn’t answer? Looking at every circumstance like it’s a power struggle or cheating isn’t f’n fun or healthy for your sanity.

If I were in your shoes, I would have just said, “You’ll have to figure something else out because obviously me calling in the morning doesn’t work”.

And that’s it. Done. Courtesy revoked. Roll off move on. No drama play by play and 6 page threads. No more courtesies of that manner moving forward.

But that is exactly what I did Bruv.

I simply explained to her, if you ask me to call you, but your sleep through the calls, it beats the purpose of me calling in first place.

I sent her a text and just said, its not a problem.. Me waking you up in the morning isn't going to workout.

She seems to be acting all distant now.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Why would she ask you to call her? What about your call will be better than an alarm clock, or alarm on a cell phone?

Next question is: If someone is asking you to "help" them be accountable for something, what kind of dynamic do you think this sets up? And has this dynamic already played out? Do you think her asking you to do this is foreshadowing of further requests for you to "help" her with other things and how do you think those will play out?

 

[soulforge]

Let her have her fit and go about your day.

You don’t have to react to everything.

So what do I do if she doesn't contact me tonight or tomorrow?

 

[soulforge]

Why would she ask you to call her? What about your call will be better than an alarm clock, or alarm on a cell phone?

Next question is: If someone is asking you to "help" them be accountable for something, what kind of dynamic do you think this sets up? And has this dynamic already played out? Do you think her asking you to do this is foreshadowing of further requests for you to "help" her with other things and how do you think those will play out?

I don't know man... I shouldn't have agreed to this shyte in the first place.

I let her know, why ask me to call, if you don't even hear your phone when sleeping? How illogical.

Anyway she seems distant and not talking.. Now what?

 

[soulforge]

Nothing.

Just keep doing you.

I feel the slightest thing has now turned into a chit storm.

My last message to her, got a simple reply. OK xx

If I message her again, she will think I am weak reaching out to her? I may end up getting another one word reply from her.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Contact her on phone or in person (text is BS to talk over more important things) to discuss and Offer to show her how to set her phone alarm. Tell her you aren’t comfortable doing this anymore. If she fusses or whine you’ll have to drop her. If she says “no problem “ you established boundaries and she accepted it (as a healthy person would).

 

[soulforge]

Contact her to discuss and Offer to show her how to set her phone alarm. Tell her you aren’t comfortable doing this anymore. If she fusses or whine you’ll have to drop her. If she says “no problem “ you established boundaries and she accepted it (as a healthy person would).

The alarm is not the problem now.

The problem is, she is not happy about me telling her that asking me to call her, then not taking my call was illogical.

She is playing victim now!

 

[soulforge]

Contact her on phone or in person (text is BS to talk over more important things) to discuss and Offer to show her how to set her phone alarm. Tell her you aren’t comfortable doing this anymore. If she fusses or whine you’ll have to drop her. If she says “no problem “ you established boundaries and she accepted it (as a healthy person would).

What if I just get a one word reply off her, or she deliberately makes no effort to talk to me?