So... here I am.. wondering wtf.

[Epimanes]

So... its been a while...and over past few years my marriage went to ****.. nothing i could do was good enough.... wife entered early menopause several years ago (early perimenopause) and shes 40 now bleeding 2x a month and pms inbetween for last 9 months+ 0 interest and I hung on too long tryin to keep the family together even tho intimacy was gone.. we tried a trial separation.. and now she wants it to be permanent... wont talk... wont text.. wont communicate at all..told me to go find happiness cuz shes had enough and she wants to be alone now. We are still legally married but she said 100% its over. 25yrs .. gone... its too bad really..

It sucked for a bit... but i believe its a good thing now... i feel better... no more constant egg shells... constant contempt.. constant living in a state of anxiety... constantly feeling not good enough no matter what i did to keep **** together.. so I have now been living on my own for the first time in my life for last 3 months (we been together son e 15 and 16) and im 41 and shes 40. crazy huh? ... it never used to be this ****ty... only like last 6 yrs has it really began to deteriorate...

I have been on dating apps in my area.. mannn its such a **** show.. and the pretty ladies in my age range nvr respond... only a couple of desperate ones have msged me and im not interested. What a freakn waste of time..

So... whats next? I dont know.. I am in good shape... im 6'2 ...200lbs.. decent muscle.. little bit of body fat around the belly im chewing down with a work out 3-4x a week....have steady employment in same company for last 18yrs... 9-5 job with an hour commute each way... I am surrounded by ladies at work in the office buildings I take care of...

I am so outa the loop... sorry this may be a bit of a journal.. but i hope to bounce **** off u guys as i begin this next stage in my life.. gunna re read book of pook and get familiar with actually building attraction in women.. the world is so ****ed up now in regards to dating...

 

[Epimanes]

So.. heres a recent of me.. just casual.. at home.

What ya think? I have adopted the jason stathom look because well... my hair doesnt quite cover my head lol

 

[Epimanes]

This is not to rub it in at all.

I've never been married so not qualified to give advice here, some are.

But.

5String levels we told you so, Mr. Marriagebuilders!

Anyway, church is still a decent bet for guys that can project themselves well.

HHahahahhaah... i deserve it.... truth... i abandoned marriage builders long ago tho... they banned me actually. I had it out with the moderators.

 

[Epimanes]

Marriage builders has some good stuff... but its cultish... i liked married man sexlife better... but really... eventually even following that stuff my marriage only picked up for a while... and my wife just began to drift away again anyways.

 

[Julian]

you dont look bad. keep lifting and clean up your diet. cut out the processed crap, the dairy. stick to oats protein meats sweet potatoes veggies and some fruit. fix up your style a little bit. its time to level up to a new you bro. improve yourself, looksmaxx, liftmaxx, studymaxx and try and work through the internal pain im sure you are going through. DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR EGGS INTO ONLINE DATING lol. that basket is fked. i could see you pulling some cougars at a small sized bar on a thursday night. God speed.

 

[Epimanes]

Yeah man... thx.i appreciate the feed back. i hunt so i have plenty of lean meat... I have grieved plenty and tried so hard ... i knew this was coming b4 it did and i regret not giving up sooner. I was in denial... yeah it still hurts a bit... but im happy to only have 3 years of child support left with having a 21yo daughter and 15yo son... and hes talkin maybe moving in with me.. then i wouldnt have child support at all... he says the house is quiet and lonely without me there..

Im selling my gas guzzler 2008 f250 SD and gettin a mid sized pickup for hunting... gotta cut my costs down... 200+ to fill it and only able to get 536km out of a tank of gas is trash... especially now that im not hauling a big family around or a trailer to use when i take ev1 out camping/hunting/fishin

I gotta get into more meal prep... currently i make a venison pasta dish with veggies and pasta sauce and put it into freezer squares..i dont eat near as much as i used to when my wife was cookin all the time.. so i have gone from 214 down to 200 since april 1st... aiming at 190... and cut the body fat down and bulk back up with muscle. Im pretty fit already ... hiking and chasin mule deer you have to be...so im preppin for next october..and to look even better than i do now.

What age is considered cougar lol?

 

[Epimanes]

Yeah.. thanks for the encouragement.... the last interaction i had with my stbx was like 2 weeks after i moved out.. i bought everbody dinner ... and played monoply with the fam (her and 2 kids) like normal... had a few laughs... then she asked me to do a few man things around the house... and then i was asked to leave... that was a friday night ... so come Saturday i was feeling a bit of hope..so i msged her to ask how her day was... she said good and thanked me for fridays dinner... then sunday we ended up in relationship talk and she proceeds to accuse me of sexual assault for many years... uhh ... wtf.. i got mad at her and defended myself.. and told her if i sexually assaulted her to take me to court then... and have me charged.. i would contest it.. and that moment is when my heart detached.... cut... severed.... i drew a line in the sand and she will have to come crawlin back and even then i dont know...

I do hope my son decides to abandon ship over there... cuz then child support payments go right back into my pocket... and my stbx can buddy up with my 21yo daughter who has the hugest chip on her shoulder currently... and is siding with my wife unless she wants something from me... ugh...both my kids are awesome ppl.. im feeling a bit jaded by my daughter tho... her and my wife had bar hopped and gone to mexio 2x without me in last 2yrs.. leavin me and my son at home...

One day my wifes gunna regret this when she comes out on the other side of this menopause crap... shes so selfish.. its all about her right now... smh

 

[Epimanes]

Yeah... alcohol played a big part last few years.... even caught her hiding it and found empty bottles hidden throughoutthe house later... she blamed me when i came home from work early and found her passed out on the bed b4 dinner thats when i began to clue in...... she did quit day drinkin as u could tell by her demeanor but she got an even worse attitude.. but we continued to drink every weekend together anyways. it got to the point that a 40 and 26er every weekend wasnt even gettin me drunk... i could still drive if i needed to... that was scary.. self medicating happiness... we were killing ourselves.. her even more so imho... she even had me on antidepressants or she refused to work on the marriage.. i couldnt keep living like that... i dreaded going home but always hoped one day things would change...

I still love the woman... but things would have to be totally different...if i was to go back.

I am experiencing alot of 1sts in my life currently... 1st time ever managing my own money..(she was really good at it.. she saved up over 100k in the 25yrs we were together from our combined incomes and we have split that already amicably) 1st time ever living on my own... i was scared actually at first.. but.. im adapting... and i am no longer living with an anxiety filled gut and on edge all the time... and its great to feel relaxed when i get home.i quit my antidepressants cold turkey and feel way better. i started going to martial arts but its expensive so im just gunna use the gym i have at work in my buildings i take care of for free... has all sorts of equipment.

I now know ill be fine... and i agree.. shes gunna be lonely... sure she might get some guy to bang her.. but she has issues with touch.. id describe her as a rose with lots of thorns. The stem is very prickly and the pedals are fragile... sex dried up really years ago unless she was drinking... hence always drinking... and even then it was always hurry up.. no u cant **** me a 2nd time.. lets go watch Netflix... ugh.. wtf... i was in my head thinkin .wtf happened to my wife... she was stolen from me..

 

[Epimanes]

My salary goes up annually too... her wage will stay the same forever as a dental assisntant. Im a commercial property manager on salary with tons of benifits. Heck i was ill for a month and my company paid me to delegate to a temp guy from my bed... lol so if my phone rang from one of the commercial tenants complaints... id phone the temp guy and have him deal with it or delegate contractors to attend and have him meet them.

 

[Epimanes]

Heres my upper body so far... it was better at one point but alcohol and depression took its toll... and it was worse a few months ago... like i said i dropped from 214 to 200 since april 1st.... the day i moved out.... what a fuken joke eh?

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

So... its been a while...and over past few years my marriage went to ****.. nothing i could do was good enough.... wife entered early menopause several years ago (early perimenopause) and shes 40 now bleeding 2x a month and pms inbetween for last 9 months+ 0 interest and I hung on too long tryin to keep the family together even tho intimacy was gone.. we tried a trial separation.. and now she wants it to be permanent... wont talk... wont text.. wont communicate at all..told me to go find happiness cuz shes had enough and she wants to be alone now. We are still legally married but she said 100% its over. 25yrs .. gone... its too bad really..

It sucked for a bit... but i believe its a good thing now... i feel better... no more constant egg shells... constant contempt.. constant living in a state of anxiety... constantly feeling not good enough no matter what i did to keep **** together.. so I have now been living on my own for the first time in my life for last 3 months (we been together son e 15 and 16) and im 41 and shes 40. crazy huh? ... it never used to be this ****ty... only like last 6 yrs has it really began to deteriorate...

I have been on dating apps in my area.. mannn its such a **** show.. and the pretty ladies in my age range nvr respond... only a couple of desperate ones have msged me and im not interested. What a freakn waste of time..

So... whats next? I dont know.. I am in good shape... im 6'2 ...200lbs.. decent muscle.. little bit of body fat around the belly im chewing down with a work out 3-4x a week....have steady employment in same company for last 18yrs... 9-5 job with an hour commute each way... I am surrounded by ladies at work in the office buildings I take care of...

I am so outa the loop... sorry this may be a bit of a journal.. but i hope to bounce **** off u guys as i begin this next stage in my life.. gunna re read book of pook and get familiar with actually building attraction in women.. the world is so ****ed up now in regards to dating...

I remember you. You were the “marriage champion”. Ran your mouth all the time about how awesome marriage was. You acted like you knew everything. You had such a self righteous attitude about yourself and marriage.

You didn’t understand or try to relate to the guys here who have been through the h*ll of divorce rape and family court. Your attitude was frankly, pretty intolerable.

And you constantly plugged that marriage builders crap.

Well, welcome to the real world. Now you’ve had some taste of what a sh*t show marriage can be with the wrong woman.

This time around, If you can, try to keep an open mind. Try to actually listen to the guys here and learn something and not have such a know it all attitude.

An even more important thing than your looks will be what is in your head. If you haven’t yet, read the rational male blog (Rollo tomassi), start with the early stuff. If you have the money, consider reading his books.

40 isn’t old, you’re actually in your prime.

You’re still legally married eh? If you haven’t, get a consult with a good lawyer. Learn as much as you can about divorce in your state and what you are potentially facing when you go through the meat grinder of divorce. Expect her to do things and accuse you of things that you never thought possible.

-Augustus-

 

[Epimanes]

Hey.... things were pretty good at the time...or seemed like it and at least im here as me and not some new user and hiding from my old ways many years back..

I did share marriage builders here.. it was working well... then it wasnt.... then married man sexlife came along and i spoke here about that too and that still runs in my head cuz its good ****.. marriage builders is trash.. ill admit and even appologize for it.

I also admit.. i deserve some backlash so lay it on me... i know theres alot of hellish divorces out there and circumstances that cant be fixed..thats also why i didnt start as a new user...

I didnt consider myself a know it all... i was just tryin to help.. at the time things were going good and workin for me... its just now all come full circle on me and totally out of my control. Live and learn.... 25yrs man..i figured i was gunna have an 80th anniversary one day.. that was the plan anyhow.. til it no longer mattered what i did (well after i began posting here and had since left too).. but i get it...

But regardless.... im here... and workin on me now... and making myself better for next time...and gotta learn some new ways...

Theres alot to learn about dating in this day and age thats for sure...and something i have no experience with.

 

[Epimanes]

Yeah... still legally married... amicable finances split... she said she doesnt wana be crappy to me and i should just move on because she doesnt have the capacity to be what i need anymore..infact theres been nothin super terrible really .. no cheating.. no violence. Lots of contempt tho... i live in canada so.... i cant divorce til we have been seperated for a year... its been 3 months

She cooperates... we co parent my 15yo... we still kinda get along

 

[Epimanes]

Anyways... ill be around... im not some scared ***** to get some backlash here from my past behaviours.. and im definitely different than i was then... its late and stock market opens in 5.5hrs...

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Yeah... still legally married... amicable finances split... she said she doesnt wana be crappy to me and i should just move on because she doesnt have the capacity to be what i need anymore..infact theres been nothin super terrible really .. no cheating.. no violence. Lots of contempt tho... i live in canada so.... i cant divorce til we have been seperated for a year... its been 3 months

She cooperates... we co parent my 15yo... we still kinda get along

Heavy drinker and you think she never cheated on you? Really?

Accused you of sexually assaulting her and it appears that she’s trying to turn your daughter against you? And you think you still kind of get along with her?

Her and your daughter have gone barhopping and have gone to Mexico twice by themselves?

Dude, there is a lot about this woman that you don’t know or have been too blind to see. Open your eyes, you need a reality check.

-Augustus-

 

[Epimanes]

Well.... i was her first sexual partner and she was my 2nd.. no... i dont believe she cheated on me ever... not physically.. i do however believe she has emotionally... my daughter also isnt happy about this pending divorce and has hope still.... they were together every moment in mexico.. and my wifes a homebody... your just gunna have to take my word for it... we had a pairbond from 15 and 16... i believe shes gunna be a lonely cat lady lol.... maybe something has happened... but i doubt it...

 

[Epimanes]

Regardless... here I am. Whats done is done. .. time to become a better me than i have ever been.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Well.... i was her first sexual partner and she was my 2nd.. no... i dont believe she cheated on me ever... not physically.. i do however believe she has emotionally... my daughter also isnt happy about this pending divorce and has hope still.... they were together every moment in mexico.. and my wifes a homebody... your just gunna have to take my word for it... we had a pairbond from 15 and 16... i believe shes gunna be a lonely cat lady lol.... maybe something has happened... but i doubt it...

Dude, The cheating thing isn’t important. The intent of my post was to get you to open your eyes. Do not trust this woman. There is no “pairbond” there anymore. The woman you met and married no longer exists.

Also, do you make more money than her? If so, get as much knowledge as you can about Canadian alimony law.

-Augustus-

 

[Epimanes]

Thanks guys... yeah im 41.. i feel 20. I am told i look early 30s... *flexes*

I agree... the bond is broken.. yup I quit drinking.... i mostly quit weed too... and she has no need to worry about money even though i make more than she does. Her dad is basicly rich... but looks like a bumb is a mizer with money... She is an only child in her family... all her family money channels to her.. easily a mil+ ... i almost thought i should drag the divorce out lol and just keep us legal so I get a piece of that one day... wasting 25yrs of my life.. smh

My hope is pretty dead... it would take quite a bit to bring it back now. Especially after accusing me of sexual assault... i even know where she gets that idea from.. but its blown outa proportion forsure... so no... i dont trust her anymore...

 

[rart]

Be smart about separation agreement. When my wife and I were splitting up, she told me that she won't try to take the kids from me since I'm a good dad. Well, a year into the divorce she filed amendment to custody, I had to lawyer up. It doesn't end at divorce if you have kids.