What should I do here, if anything?

[MoreThanSmooth]

So lads, there's this chick I've liked on and off for like 6 years but thanks to some terrible luck it never went anywhere. At one point I was pretty down about it because we were *this* close to dating and then her housemate beat me to it.

Now she's split up with that dude and she seems to be single. Got her out for a walk around town and some cake and we had a pretty good time, but it didn't escalate.

Well...like 2 days after we hung out I just noticed she's posted a bunch of stuff on her social media going hiking with a single dude. They weren't taking selfies together or cuddling or anything but it was still just him and her. Am I totally f*cked for a second time with this girl, or should I still go for it?

The guy's skinny and dweeby TBH, IMO he's not some kind of super sexy supermodel but if they're hiking alone together I can't help but think he's probably sleeping with her already? F*ck.

I have like no right to be upset or p*ssed about this since I've never even dated her, but it's annoying from the point of view that I seem to have zero friggin' luck with this chick. She kissed me only a couple of months ago but with her new job we never get any time to hang.

If she is dating this guy, it seems kinda odd that she has agreed to hang out on the seafront with me soon, probably drinking too. I just feel like I'm about to watch some other guy bang this girl I've liked for so long again and it sucks.

(Not a case of one-itis or anything btw. Just one of those maddening situations where fate keeps kicking you in the nuts).

 

[lamath]

Mmmm did you make your intent clear?

Look like you are friend zoned, im pretty sure itsnot bad luck its low interest

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Mmmm did you make your intent clear?

Look like you are friend zoned, im pretty sure itsnot bad luck its low interest

When we're drunk we flirt like f*cking crazy, but I haven't been able to actually get out to get drunk with her for ages so it sucks. Last time we went out properly she snogged me on the cheek (like a 5 second kiss) at the end of the night. And blew me a kiss afterwards too.

But when we're sober she acts like I'm just some generic friend or something. Ugh.

Last time she introduced me to her friends she said "I was a very close, long term friend of [hers]". and when I corrected it to "We're just mates" she said "Well, we're close friends." I mean, wtf? o_0

She also (when drunk) said I should "get f*cked more often", she repeated this several times but again...nothing came of it. I have no idea.

 

[lamath]

Yeah you are orbiter/friendzone territory.

Cant recommend strategy on this, only thing that could work is compitation anxity

 

[SoSuave666]

You’re the nice guy. Let her know you want to fvck. Escalate. Be a leader.

That’s it. You’ve been a chump for 6 years. She probably has no interest in you

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Ugh. F*ckkkkk.

Well, in perhaps better news, her friend wants to hang out for a drink with me and her in a group. I guess that's a good time to flirt a bit? I guess as you say I've kind of messed this up over time.

I don't know why it bothers me so much, this situation. I shouldn't give a crap but it makes me feel rubbish. It's weird too because her friends keep saying s**t to me like "She talks about you all the time", but what is that even supposed to mean?

I will pretty much be guaranteed to see her in a month or so at the latest, I will hit the gym hard before then and see if I can be a bit less of a p*ssy next time I see her. I just suck at escalation in general. I pretty much have "nice guy" on my forehead.

 

[lamath]

Ugh. F*ckkkkk.

Well, in perhaps better news, her friend wants to hang out for a drink with me and her in a group. I guess that's a good time to flirt a bit? I guess as you say I've kind of messed this up over time.

I don't know why it bothers me so much, this situation. I shouldn't give a crap but it makes me feel rubbish. It's weird too because her friends keep saying s**t to me like "She talks about you all the time", but what is that even supposed to mean?

I will pretty much be guaranteed to see her in a month or so at the latest, I will hit the gym hard before then and see if I can be a bit less of a p*ssy next time I see her. I just suck at escalation in general. I pretty much have "nice guy" on my forehead.

Her friend wants to hang that is a great opportunity.

Hook up with friend she get jealous then hook up with her.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Her friend wants to hang that is a great opportunity.

Hook up with friend she get jealous then hook up with her.

Haha her friend isn't single and I know her BF, but I appreciate the advice anyway.

I'm going to try to use the opportunity to flirt with my crush a bit more heavily and try to escalate things a bit, but I imagine I'm too late now. We will see.

 

[Robert28]

If I were you I’d get away from the whole lot of her and her group. If they’re friends with you on social media, block and delete now. When we say the ONLY way to get out of the friend zone is to walk away, WE MEAN JUST THAT. We don’t mean go away for awhile and come back like some stray dog, we mean walk away and keep on walking. Don’t turn around, don’t makeup excuses not to, don’t hesitate, just walk. Do it like a bandaid, rip that **** off now. I don’t do the slow fade crap, they will always reach out while you’re trying to back away and then you start all over. Plus it starts arguments “why are you avoiding me, blah blah blah”. Get gone, make them sit around a week or month from now and think “hmm I wonder where MoreThanSmooth is?”. Then they’ll look you up on social media only to not find you, they’ll think “wtf” and then text you to find out why you blocked them. Only problem is they can’t text you cause you blocked their number too. You’ve walked away. For good. Not a month, not a few months, FOR GOOD.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm going to try to use the opportunity to flirt with my crush a bit more heavily and try to escalate things a bit, but I imagine I'm too late now. We will see.

Problem highlighted

 

[greatsnake]

Sir, the moment a woman opens the door to flirting you go ahead and escalate— get physical with her, so she understands that you’re trying to bang her.....

 

[backseatjuan]

Do you know how to flirt? How to escalate verbally and follow it up physically?

Your dream girl is more than likely like any other girl and is ready to jump onto dck next to her, stop making a princess out of her, assume she's a hoe and treat her like a hoe.

 

[17 shots]

You need to move on. The fact that you still care so much about her validation after 6 years is really pathetic

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Do you know how to flirt? How to escalate verbally and follow it up physically?

Your dream girl is more than likely like any other girl and is ready to jump onto dck next to her, stop making a princess out of her, assume she's a hoe and treat her like a hoe.

Verbally yes, physically I kind of suck in all honesty. But yes, this is true.

You need to move on. The fact that you still care so much about her validation after 6 years is really pathetic

Well, I've not just been sitting around like a b*tch crying over her for 6 years dude. I've been seeing other girls. Just now this one's single again, it seems worth having a go again.

If she's now single anyway.

When I hang out with women in my social circles, the only thing I look for are "windows of escalation." Most people think you should only try to seduce women in the clubs/bars and leave social circle women alone because they are just friends. My experience has taught me the opposite. Most women in bars/clubs see me as just "random guy." Even if they were attracted to me, I'd be "random cute guy." There is still some level of game involved where I have to build rapport/create a connection, have perfect logistics, and somehow avoid all of her c0ckblocking friends.

But with social circle women, if attraction is there, the windows are as vast as the Atlantic Ocean. You've been friend-zoned due to lack of boldness/too much neediness. But the same way a woman can work out and develop a better yoga butt, you can be more bold and create sexual tension. The next time you see a window, close the distance and physically touch her. Show her there are consequences for giving you signs of interest. She will do one of two things: Keep giving you signs until you fvck her, or stop. Even if she stops giving you signs, it's a moral victory. From that point on, no woman will give you another window without seeing you as a sexual threat.

Great post, thank you. Yeah, I will try to escalate in future. I think my problem is that I p*ssy out after flirting a bit because I'm worried about being inappropriate or something.

 

[backseatjuan]

Single don't mean anything, if she's going out that means she's available, even if she's available she could have a boyfriend, a daddy, or several plates. Women are never single. For all practical reasons, single means not with you.

Verbal escalation is as easy as asking her if she wants to kiss you.

 

[marmel75]

If you take no action when you have the chance you will always end up in the position you are in now...
Left wondering what would have happened if...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Single don't mean anything, if she's going out that means she's available, even if she's available she could have a boyfriend, a daddy, or several plates. Women are never single. For all practical reasons, single means not with you.

Verbal escalation is as easy as asking her if she wants to kiss you.

Have a daddy?

 

[17 shots]

Well, I've not just been sitting around like a b*tch crying over her for 6 years dude. I've been seeing other girls. Just now this one's single again, it seems worth having a go again.

If she's now single anyway.

That's not the point. You had your opportunity, and you weren't aggressive enough. You don't go backwards with women trying to fix mistakes. You move on to new ones and apply what you've learned from those past mistakes

It's not easy reversing a woman's impression of you, especially after years have passed by. Women aren't like men, they don't keep liking and crushing on a guy years later, they are very fickle and move on. I personally wouldn't waste my time, but good luck

 

[MatureDJ]

The only way you will be looked upon as worthy is after this woman's Sexual Market Value is in decline. So when she hits 45 she will tell you that she really had always liked you, but just didn't "realize" it until just then.

BTW, this is what a woman in her late 40s could look like:

My mortifying moment at the Christmas party and why it's hell to be 48, alone and desperate

The Christmas party was in full swing. Brandishing a branch of mistletoe, I danced across the room and locked eyes with the stranger in the corner...

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