Operation: 36 year old virgin

[ghcortez]

Yeah you read that right. I don’t care. It’s time to change this ****.

The reason I’ve always avoided dating is that I suffer from whole-body arthritis and have my entire adult life. The only meaningful treatment option is only available in the Cayman Islands at an exorbitant cost, and my life is organized around saving enough to pay for it. It will take 1-2 more years to pay for my next treatment.

Contrary to what you would expect for a 36 year old virgin, I’m not fat or ugly. I work out intelligently and judiciously and have a better-than-average physique. My disadvantages are that I can’t talk and have no game. I’m a deep introvert and in general just different from everyone else.

Last year I had my first sexual opportunity with a very attractive (for her age) woman 5 years my senior who made aggressive moves on me at work, on whom I had one of the worst oneitis crushes on record. I dated her for five weeks, but was a weak, timid, ***** with a negative attitude, and got humiliatingly rejected without sex. It took me almost a year to get over the sting, but I can confidently say that I don’t feel any kind of way about it anymore, and it definitely changed me in a big way for the better.

This year, my disease has taken a turn for the worse. I don’t know whether I’ll get my treatment, or if I do, that it will work. If I’m going to do this, I better do it now.

The question is: how do pull it off?

I think my best bet is Tinder. The idea of cold-approaching in public places is so unappealing I’m just not realistically going to do it.

In dealing with women, how do I address the following:

• I’m physically debilitated and always in some pain even if I don’t look it.
• I live a very inexpensive lifestyle (live with my aging father in our delapidated house, buy clothes at Costco) to save $$.
• I work a job just for the money and have literally zero passion for it, and work every hour I can get. I make $15/hr in a call center.
• I’m a virgin (do I admit it?)
• I have few friends and no social life.
• I can’t take her home, so she has to take me to her place.
• Other than exercise, which I’m losing as my disease progresses, I have no real hobbies other than ****ing around online.
• I cannot stress enough how **** of a conversational I am.

My standards will be the same as if I had a normal life. I am not going to stick my **** in just anything with a warm hole.

Thoughts?

 

[AttackFormation]

Can't emphasize what stormrider said enough. There is no side-road that'll lead you to authentic (ie not prostitute) pvssy. When you create a life you think is satisfying to keep living, and when you can put yourself in a woman's shoes and say you'd date yourself, then the conversational skills and the drive to meet women will start coming by themselves because you'll be more self-assured.

So the last thing I would recommend you to do right now is to go on OLD. You should be adding a couple of cheap activities to your life that you enjoy, and then think about OLD. Could be as simple as yoga like stormrider said, and then learning massage too. Whatever you would like, but it has to be a couple of things. If you don't find your life interesting or enjoyable, neither will she. And don't think you can fool them... they will pick up on who you are like a snake's tongue in the wind.

 

[Spaz]

Join a support group that has women with similar conditions as you are.

That's your highest probability to get laid.

As for going to cayman Island, what type of treatment are you considering to get done which is not available in your country?

 

[sosousage]

• I’m physically debilitated and always in some pain even if I don’t look it.

thats bad cause you will project unhapiness

• I live a very inexpensive lifestyle (live with my aging father in our delapidated house, buy clothes at Costco) to save $$.

women wont like it

• I work a job just for the money and have literally zero passion for it, and work every hour I can get. I make $15/hr in a call center.

working a job you dont like is shiet

• I’m a virgin (do I admit it?)

hell NO. never admit it. pretend rich slaycount. but dont say it.

• I have few friends and no social life.

do you want it? then get it. if you have no social life, i think some women can sense it. if youre socializing often you give different vibes, you talk differento, you behave different, etc.

• I can’t take her home, so she has to take me to her place.

that may be a problem,most women expect men to have his own place. they either live with friends or with parents.

• Other than exercise, which I’m losing as my disease progresses, I have no real hobbies other than ****ing around online.

thats BAD m8.my life is one big hobby. if i didnt have it, damn what would I be doing for my whole life?

• I cannot stress enough how **** of a conversational I am.

u mean traditional? like 0 drugs, alcohol, tattoos, instead going to church every sunday?
women dont like boring men. all women want from men is fun, or their wallets

 

[corrector]

Write up a profile like what you are writing on here and see if you get a few pity lays. The key is making them feel sorry for you. You should find someone in about a month of begging out on various online sites. I tried this strategy in 2006 but bailed rather than go through with it. I did find a few willing women.

 

[sosousage]

Write up a profile like what you are writing on here and see if you get a few pity lays. The key is making them feel sorry for you. You should find someone in about a month of begging out on various online sites. I tried this strategy in 2006 but bailed rather than go through with it. I did find a few willing women.

no i dont think it will work. its like if 90 year old grandpa was begging you for sex

 

[BeExcellent]

Your best bet will be support groups for your condition as you noted. If it’s an autoimmune type of arthritis like RA statistically more women are afflicted than men. You might find some women who can understand how your condition impacts your health and state of mind. That would be useful.

As far as social skills there are 2 books I’d recommend you obtain & read:

1. The Fine Art of Small Talk by Deborah Fine (a very introverted engineer by training)

2. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Get them & read them & put their tenets in practice in your life.

Fear is going to be your biggest obstacle. Get out of your house & get a coffee at Starbucks & talk to the cashier or someone else in line.

As far as clothing? Having some style will help you, but you can learn how to do this on the cheap.

Here’s a great way to talk to women & get some style too. Find the Goodwill in the most expensive part of your city. Go there. Ask a woman to help you find some cool stuff.

Just say, “Excuse me...Could you help me out? I’m trying to figure out getting some good looking clothes on the cheap, and I have no idea what’s hip.”

And smile. That is a concrete request, it’s not bull crap and it will help you A. Talk to women & B. Get some stylish clothes.

Give those things a shot & see what happens.

Cheers, BE

 

[corrector]

no i dont think it will work. its like if 90 year old grandpa was begging you for sex

Are you calling me a liar? I said this worked for me in 2006. If I didn't chicken out I would have got laid that way.

 

[Skyline]

Try to get promoted at your job.

Whether you have 0 passion for it or not, being a top performer at your job will help your confidence.

On top of that, a management position at a call center gives you experience to pretty much work anywhere and get at least $40k a year with opportunities to move up from there.

 

[corrector]

Biggest problem is that you can't take them back to your place. Though there are ways of handling that too.

What are ways of handling that too? It seems that people are coming very short on explanations when its coming to address this elephant in the room, but have allot to talk about everything else.

 

[AttackFormation]

What are ways of handling that too? It seems that people are coming very short on explanations when its coming to address this elephant in the room, but have allot to talk about everything else.

Just go to their place and either say semi-mysterious things like "it wouldn't work right now... just trust me" if they insist on going to yours but you don't want to reveal your exact home situation, or just tell them in the shortest and most positive way what your situation is if they bring it up, then move on to another subject.

 

[corrector]

Just go to their place

Yes, but the other poster, sososuage did bring up a point that it may not be very realistic to expect that most girls have their own place. They either live with their parents (i.e. which is not as much of a stigma for them), or they are sharing with friends/roommates. This reduces down the pool of available women dramatically.

Also, do you really expect a girl, to give their actual address to enable you to visit them without them properly even knowing you? With what the OP is asking (i.e it sounds like he wants to get laid with just about anyone (except prostitutes) to lose his V-card and doesn't care), you don't even know if the woman is married, has a boyfriend or is in some situation where it would really be off to go to their place.

I'd be curious myself about the logistics. I've read some reports of a guy buying a lady a nice dinner at a hotel longue and then taking her upstairs to his room or something like that. I mean you'd basically have to meet at a hotel bar or dining place and risk your money and book a room and make up a story that you live in another city and you are staying at this hotel and are meeting some people for business as a cover excuse. Other than that I don't see how something like that would work.

 

[Spaz]

Yes, but the other poster, sososuage did bring up a point that it may not be very realistic to expect that most girls have their own place. They either live with their parents (i.e. which is not as much of a stigma for them), or they are sharing with friends/roommates. This reduces down the pool of available women dramatically.

Also, do you really expect a girl, to give their actual address to enable you to visit them without them properly even knowing you? With what the OP is asking (i.e it sounds like he wants to get laid with anyone and doesn't care), you don't even know if the woman is married, has a boyfriend or is in some situation where it would really be off to go to their place.

You sound like a virgin.

Keep on harping on places.

When 2 people really want to fvck they Will find a way.

Even a public toilet or behind a freaking bush will do.

 

[corrector]

Even a public toilet or behind a freaking bush will do.

The setting is everything. If it's too disgusting then it would kill the mood.

 

[Spaz]

The setting is everything. If it's too disgusting then it would kill the mood.

I've had horny women straddle and then ride my me in public.

Doesn't seem to kill their mood.

 

[Poonani Maker]

This is the worst time in history to be virgin.

 

[JayAce]

I wonder how many 26-36 yr old women live with their parents...

My ex (26) still lives with hers. So do her close friends with theirs.

 

[Serenity]

The setting is everything. If it's too disgusting then it would kill the mood.

The setting may help the mood, but if the mood is already there then the setting is irrelevant. If a woman is super horny she will for sure make up any excuse she needs to fvck ASAP. Haven't tried the toilet myself yet, but I sure have heard people going at it in public restrooms sounding anything but disgusted...

 

[Fzatf]

You'll want to work on your ability to talk and make a girl laugh. Flirting and keeping conversation light would be a way to start. You can do this like it was mentioned with a hobby that will get you around women. Even practicing with waitresses or even strippers can help any anxiety you may have.

If you can, you should look into living on your own. It's a lot easier to have a stable place you can have a girl without interruptions. At 15/hr it's not great but if you save 3-6 months of living expenses you can manage being on your own. Like it was stated, work on getting a lead or supervisor spot to have more income for your independence.

It's not always easy but when it happens it will make the effort worth it. Don't get too focused on the goal but work on it at a steady pace with small goals you set for yourself along the way. I've been where you are and wish you the best.

 

[corrector]

The OP is gone so this looks like a hit and run thread. I'm taking over to fill in some blanks.

You'll want to work on your ability to talk and make a girl laugh. Flirting and keeping conversation light would be a way to start. You can do this like it was mentioned with a hobby that will get you around women. Even practicing with waitresses or even strippers can help any anxiety you may have.

Does making a girl laugh really mean attraction, or are you making yourself to be a dancing monkey or clown? If you go on Don Juan Tips there is this thread here:
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/shock-and-awe-the-apocalypse-opener.137824/

It was recently bumped up with a poster named "YourGreatestFear", and it seems like he's saying that you are more likely to get rejected if you keep dancing around rather than go direct:

SHOCK and AWE: The Apocalypse Opener

Does anyone know someone where this actually worked and it not been a case of fool's mate? I haven't and I'm on most of the community forums and in the 2 largest lairs in the US. Just out of curiosity, Can you please tell me where the two largest American lairs are located?

www.sosuave.net

What are your thoughts about this thread and in particular that post?

If you can, you should look into living on your own. It's a lot easier to have a stable place you can have a girl without interruptions. At 15/hr it's not great but if you save 3-6 months of living expenses you can manage being on your own. Like it was stated, work on getting a lead or supervisor spot to have more income for your independence.

Living on your own is no longer a reasonable option because the living expenses have gone through the roof all across the board. Most homeless people, especially in American cities like Los Angeles, Washington DC, or New York City, actually have full time jobs but because of sky-high rents and other high living expenses, the money is not enough to cover that. Also he has an aging parent. When you have an aging parent, you turn into a babysitter for an adult whether you like it or not. His father may need him there and he can't afford anyone to help take care of his father. That's not a simple solution.