Very true ^^^^
@Amante Silvestre
Everything that a man does over and over through repetition develops a skill. Including doing nothing at all!
Some guys dont want to put the work in. I've had my friends hear me talking to chicks and they say "How did you think to say that off the top of your head? That chick totally bought your witty response". Its because I love to talk to people. I am not bashful. I can make friends anywhere, anytime as long as I have receptive and talkative people around me.
My ex wife would tell me that if I got locked in a room with 20 strangers, I would come out with 25 new friends. Part of that skill is genetic, how I was raised and also lots and lots of practice.
I was asked this year to do some baseball instruction with a 14 year old. Also asked to help out a varsity baseball team, specifically the infielders, when I had time. I did it on the condition that I wasnt labeled a "coach" but just there to genuinely help.
The varsity coach was hitting the middle infielders grounders and I was working with them. I would also jump in and field balls to SHOW them exactly what I wanted them to work on. Feet work, anticipation of the ball coming off the bat, proper physical defensive positioning depending on the baserunner situation, pitch count, etc.
These kids had never thought that way because they didnt have the in depth coaching. They all said the same thing: You are almost 42? You look as smooth as anyone fielding ground balls. You could still play highly competitive baseball.
My response was simple: I have fielded literally THOUSANDS and thousands of ground balls in my life. To the point that I literally do not have to think about it because its all INSTINCTIVE. There is no fvcking substitute for putting in the time and work. None.
I told every infielder that if they wanted to improve, they need to put in the time and work. Ball after ball until it becomes instinct and the mind doesnt even have to think about it. Muscle memory. I dont have to think "there is a guy on first base so I have to cheat my defensive shortstop positioning towards the bag" I just do it naturally. But there was a point in time that I had to think about it. I thought about it because someone was a good enough coach to explain it to me.
All the little league games, high school 30 game seasons and then 45-60 game seasons in college.....think of all the practice time during that time of my life. Still at nearly 42 my body "just does it" without a conscious effort from my mind.
Same with women. There are some good guys on SS to give advice, get these guys really thinking about what it takes to become a better person and be more in control of their destiny. Yet some dont take advantage.
Like you pointed out in sports- the second you have to "think" about what you should be doing, thats where you make errors.
When you are talking to a woman there is no time to sit back and "think" of a great response to her question. When you put yourself in the position over and over, you just react. The more you practice the better your reactions will be.
Its not hard.
@Amante Silvestre gets it. A lot of other guys get it on here too. Yet there are some guys on here that dont want to put in the time and effort.
I HATED going out to the field and having my dad hit me 300 grounders in high school when it was already 85 degrees at 8am. But I loved WINNING enough that the sacrifice was well worth it. I am a WINNER and I will stop short of nothing to put in the work to improve myself to be the person I want to be.
Some people just dont see the effort being worth the result, thus they never put anything into it. And sadly, thats exactly what they get out of it. Nothing.
Not sorry for the rant