How To Handle This Plate? Advice

[soulforge]

So guys I currently have two plates in rotation.

One of them is hot and pretty easy going, however plate number 2 is becoming a problem.

The problem is, she rarely initiates contact.. And nearly every sex date has been arranged by me.

She always turns up for the date, we have a good time.

However its at the point where everything is getting too ONE SIDED

I am making 90% effort she is making 10%

It will be a matter of time till she loses attraction due to the weak position I am in.

I am supposed to be banging her next weekend, however I intend not to text her to arrange the date, and let her reach out to me, or simply let her drop off my rotation.

Should I simply just next her?

Or try to change the dynamics by texting her less, becoming less available and let her make an effort?

She is a 8/10 hotty too!

 

[Murk]

Bro if she's hot and you want to bang her, reach out. Why do you always care so much about ego and how much the other person cares if they are just a FWB?

I'm far from a pro at this, but the balance of effort and reaching out is only a factor if you want a LTR. For casual sex plates as long a you are having sex who cares? If you're OK with not banging her at the weekend then maybe test it out and don't text?

Or maybe (what I would do) next time your with her say why don't you ever reach out? Just ask her.

 

[AJ84]

Bro if she's hot and you want to bang her, reach out. Why do you always care so much about ego and how much the other person cares if they are just a FWB?

I'm far from a pro at this, but the balance of effort and reaching out is only a factor if you want a LTR. For casual sex plates as long a you are having sex who cares? If you're OK with not banging her at the weekend then maybe test it out and don't text?

Or maybe (what I would do) next time your with her say why don't you ever reach out? Just ask her.

Yeah, if it’s just a plate you want sex from, then sounds like you have good thing going. She’s not bothering you with texts etc, she accepts all of your invitations to meet, and is having sex with you. If she really wasn’t that interested she would be flaking and not having sex with you. The 90/10 thing doesn’t apply if it’s just sex, and all she has to do is show up, which is what she’s doing every time you ask her out.
Sounds like the ideal situation for a causal plate arrangement no? Unless you want more?
You got the threesome model girl and this girl so just enjoy and don’t look for problems where there aren’t any . You are in driver’s seat here.

 

[soulforge]

Yeah, if it’s just a plate you want sex from, then sounds like you have good thing going. She’s not bothering you with texts etc, she accepts all of your invitations to meet, and is having sex with you. If she really wasn’t that interested she would be flaking and not having sex with you. The 90/10 thing doesn’t apply if it’s just sex, and all she has to do is show up, which is what she’s doing every time you ask her out.
Sounds like the ideal situation for a causal plate arrangement no? Unless you want more?
You got the threesome model girl and this girl so just enjoy and don’t look for problems where there aren’t any . You are in driver’s seat here.

I hear what you are saying, but at some point ego and self respect does come into play.

I'm not used to making ALL the effort for a chick.. Every other plate I had generally met me half way in making an effort.

Also how will she perceive Me? The guy who is always reaching out, when I sit on my ass and do nothing.

I get the basis of your point.. I am getting regular sex off her.. And she is only a fuk buddy.. I could test her this weekend and not invite her over, just to see if she reaches out.

Asking her out right why she doesn't communicate, is going to look beta as fuk to her.

 

[AJ84]

I hear what you are saying, but at some point ego and self respect does come into play.

I'm not used to making ALL the effort for a chick.. Every other plate I had generally met me half way in making an effort.

Also how will she perceive Me? The guy who is always reaching out, when I sit on my ass and do nothing.

I get the basis of your point.. I am getting regular sex off her.. And she is only a fuk buddy.. I could test her this weekend and not invite her over, just to see if she reaches out.

Asking her out right why she doesn't communicate, is going to look beta as fuk to her.

Women don’t work for sex, they work for relationships. If she knows it’s just sex and nothing more where is her incentive to do more to get something she knows she can get very easily?

I think sometimes, and correct me if this isn’t the case with you, that guys want to have these causal plates where they know they won’t be investing in a relationship but yet they want these girls to act like girlfriends.

There is zero incentive for a girl who knows she won’t be his girlfriend, to act like a girlfriend. That would be like the female equivalent of a male orbiter. Some girls will try and waste their time, and some won’t.

I agree asking her may not be a good idea. That will imply that you want more, and if you don’t, don’t open up that box lol. Don’t text her and see what happens but don’t expect much if she knows it’s just going to be causal.

 

[soulforge]

Women don’t work for sex, they work for relationships. If she knows it’s just sex and nothing more where is her incentive to do more to get something she knows she can get very easily?

I think sometimes, and correct me if this isn’t the case with you, that guys want to have these causal plates where they know they won’t be investing in a relationship but yet they want these girls to act like girlfriends.

There is zero incentive for a girl who knows she won’t be his girlfriend, to act like a girlfriend. That would be like the female equivalent of a male orbiter. Some girls will try and waste their time, and some won’t.

I agree asking her may not be a good idea. That will imply that you want more, and if you don’t, don’t open up that box lol. Don’t text her and see what happens but don’t expect much if she knows it’s just going to be causal.

I agree with you... And I don't want more from her at all.

Bringing up the issue of why she doesn't text more, will make me look beta as fuk lol.

But even in a casual/FWB type situation, wouldn't you still occasionally shoot off the odd text to arrange a meet up, or some flirty texting?

I have had plates/FWB situations before, and never had to make 100% all the effort.

Wouldn't it decrease her attraction level? When the guy is making all the effort.

In my eyes that will look kinda pathetic to her.

 

[Murk]

I think you're caring too much what she thinks, just stop texting her if it bothers you

I actually wouldn't ask her because this either would happen or I'd stop entertaining it

 

[AJ84]

I agree with you... And I don't want more from her at all.

Bringing up the issue of why she doesn't text more, will make me look beta as fuk lol.

But even in a casual/FWB type situation, wouldn't you still occasionally shoot off the odd text to arrange a meet up, or some flirty texting?

I have had plates/FWB situations before, and never had to make 100% all the effort.

Wouldn't it decrease her attraction level? When the guy is making all the effort.

In my eyes that will look kinda pathetic to her.

It’s a bit odd yes, but perhaps she’s got other guys she’s seeing too? You’re not with her all the time right? Or she really just wants you for the sex and nothing more and doesn’t feel the need to go through the motions of flirty banker etc.
Honestly if she didn’t want to sleep with you she would not meet up with you at all. Do you enjoy the sex? Is she hot?
Go by her actions. Her actions are yes to sex. You know girls can text you all kinds of sweet lovey dovey flirty crap and still treat you like an orbiter, she doesn’t seem to be treating you that way despite not texting.
Lol some guys would be thrilled to have such a no fuss, straight forward hook up. Enjoy!!

 

[backseatjuan]

Fck with your head a little bit. If you initiating it every week, double the time, make it two weeks.

 

[guru1000]

Consider a romantic interaction a dance. You invest. Then she invests. If you continue to invest (to make the Relation work) and she doesn’t invest, then it is no longer a dance. It becomes something else entirely.

Also understand the more she invests—regardless of her romantic intention—the more emotionally invested she will become. So what happens in the situation where you do 100% investing and she doesn’t (initiating-wise)? What happens to your and her emotional investment (and the ensuing frame)?

All my troopers must invest, following our first sexual encounter. If they don’t, it ends right there.

Some girls don’t understand this and so won’t invest. In such a scenario, I let it die and pay it forward as a lesson to her for the next guy.

 

[Glassguy]

All my troopers must invest, following our first sexual encounter. If they don’t, it ends right there.

Some girls don’t understand this and so won’t invest. In such a scenario, I let it die

I definitely agree with Guru but I will also throw an audible in this:

Who cares if she texts. Is that what I want from her? For her to text me? Hell no. I want to smash. So as long as she is smashing (and she is with basically NO effort from OP) then she IS in fact investing.

She is giving OP what she wants but OP is stumped on why she isnt gobbling up the sex and pushing for more out of it.

Did you ever think that she just wants to bang? Nothing there to complain about. You are putting basically no effort into her and she comes over to take care of your needs.

OP- @soulforge if you are banging her and all you have to invest is reaching out to set it up, the end justifies the means. Unless she is just total shyte in bed. I wouldnt be too wrapped up in why she doesnt reach out as long as she continues to come over.

 

[guru1000]

I definitely agree with Guru but I will also throw an audible in this:

Who cares if she texts. Is that what I want from her? For her to text me? Hell no. I want to smash. So as long as she is smashing (and she is with basically NO effort from OP) then she IS in fact investing.

She is giving OP what she wants but OP is stumped on why she isnt gobbling up the sex and pushing for more out of it.

Did you ever think that she just wants to bang? Nothing there to complain about. You are putting basically no effort into her and she comes over to take care of your needs.

OP- @soulforge if you are banging her and all you have to invest is reaching out to set it up, the end justifies the means. Unless she is just total shyte in bed. I wouldnt be too wrapped up in why she doesnt reach out as long as she continues to come over.

Sex is of no value, at least to me. I'll build a new harem over a weekend if need be.

But her paying due respect of investing is mandatory regardless whether FB, plate, or gf.. This is how I forge troopers; that is, by giving them the gift of space to invest.

She becomes a trooper or I let it die. The irony is very rarely do these relations die (though I'm willing): They most often WILL invest ... if you let them.

 

[Glassguy]

Sex is no value eh? Interesting.

So you go out with a woman 6 times, no sex and you keep going out with her?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sex is no value eh? Interesting.

So you go out with a woman 6 times, no sex and you keep going out with her?

Sex is how they tell you they like you enough. In 2019 it should be happening by 3 dates. It should be obvious they value your presense greatly.

 

[guru1000]

Sex is no value eh? Interesting.

So you go out with a woman 6 times, no sex and you keep going out with her?

The intent is different.

If I chose to stop dating a girl because of six dates with no sex, it's not the sex that would provoke my leaving; it's her lack of desire. So by my continuing to see her KNOWing she lacked sexual desire, I would be disrespecting myself.

Our values differ. That's all. The CHASE frame or alternatively her investing up to my standard is the primary value I seek. Sex is the primary value you seek. However, even in your value, you do have standards right? If she were actively disrespecting you and your time, you would no longer desire to fvck her, correct? There is a line she cannot cross. Our lines differ.

My standards for acceptable behavior encompass equal or greater investment output on her end. This is how one incites the CHASE frame in women. Not all women will chase (though you would be surprised that many will if you allow them), though, those who don't chase, their investment is mandatory.

Look at it from a different perspective. Some women these days view sex like men; just sex, so sex alone is not her investing. Each investment of her time and attention reinforces the value she sees in you, and with continued reinforcements, she forges into a trooper in your army.

I forge troopers. I like my army. Sex is simply the byproduct of that.

 

[cola]

So guys I currently have two plates in rotation.

One of them is hot and pretty easy going, however plate number 2 is becoming a problem.

The problem is, she rarely initiates contact.. And nearly every sex date has been arranged by me.

She always turns up for the date, we have a good time.

However its at the point where everything is getting too ONE SIDED

I am making 90% effort she is making 10%

It will be a matter of time till she loses attraction due to the weak position I am in.

I am supposed to be banging her next weekend, however I intend not to text her to arrange the date, and let her reach out to me, or simply let her drop off my rotation.

Should I simply just next her?

Or try to change the dynamics by texting her less, becoming less available and let her make an effort?

She is a 8/10 hotty too!

I mean if it bothers you too much, replace her. You guys have to understand, it’s easier for me to find a new woman than a pair of jeans I like.
You could literally go out this weekend and replace her with a new plate.

However, I feel like that situation works well. You call, she comes, you do it, she leaves and doesn’t bother you. What more could you want?
It’s not like this is your girlfriend who isn’t initiating contact, it’s just a chick you bang. Who cares if she loses attraction?

 

[lamath]

I agree with guru

I want some enthusiastic women, not boring starfish.

I would just stop initiating until she does .
If she dont so be it.

 

[soulforge]

I definitely agree with Guru but I will also throw an audible in this:

Who cares if she texts. Is that what I want from her? For her to text me? Hell no. I want to smash. So as long as she is smashing (and she is with basically NO effort from OP) then she IS in fact investing.

She is giving OP what she wants but OP is stumped on why she isnt gobbling up the sex and pushing for more out of it.

Did you ever think that she just wants to bang? Nothing there to complain about. You are putting basically no effort into her and she comes over to take care of your needs.

OP- @soulforge if you are banging her and all you have to invest is reaching out to set it up, the end justifies the means. Unless she is just total shyte in bed. I wouldnt be too wrapped up in why she doesnt reach out as long as she continues to come over.

Glassguy i'm not looking for her to be texting every other day and all that shyte..

If I don't hear from her for days on end, I don't lose sleep over it.

What does bother me is, having to arrange ALL the sex dates... And if I don't reach out to arrange, then the whole thing will die off.

Seems a little too one sided... I have had one FLAKE from her, but that wasn't a big issue as plate number 2 was available.

Another flake and she is out.

 

[Glassguy]

Our values differ. That's all. The CHASE frame or alternatively her investing up to my standard is the primary value I seek. Sex is the primary value you seek. However, even in your value, you do have standards right? If she were actively disrespecting you and your time, you would no longer desire to fvck her, correct? There is a line she cannot cross. Our lines differ.

Our values on what a woman's intent doesnt differ. They are the same. We just use different measuring sticks to equate their effort.

I wouldnt necessarily say that my end game is sex. Although important, I would never keep a woman around just for sex only. She would have to have many other attributes that I find attractive.

For example: I am not out there panty raiding trailer parks. If a woman doesnt have a career and her own source of financial stability, they are not attractive to me. For obvious reasons. I am not a piggy bank, rather someone fun to be around for the right reasons, or intent.

It is also very conceivable to have both: Sex is important. Although the "chase" is important as well. One can maintain sex in high regards and also not tolerate disrespect on any levels from a woman, I know that you understand that.

Physical looks alone is not what I am after. To be a plate in my rotation they have to have many other attributes. To answer your question, if a woman disrespected me or my time I would not desire to fvck her. I would quickly lose interest AND attraction.

That's the beauty of a rotation isnt it? One woman goes down and its next woman up. Life is too short to be putting up with shyte from one when you can get the better behavior from multiple. The "chase" continues even if one takes herself out of the running.

I tend to get tired of the same woman to be honest. The challenge isnt there anymore. The thrill fades. The main reason behind that is the woman's intent changes over time. They go from prey to prison warden when they think they "have you".

Our lines of tolerance are far more similar than you probably think.

Sex is simply the byproduct of that

Totally agree. I enjoy sex. Hell I love sex......with the right women.

Sex + her intentions+ her actions = my interest level. If a woman acts suspect to any of the three and I am seasoned enough at this game to know the other 2 will quickly diminish.

 

[Glassguy]

Glassguy i'm not looking for her to be texting every other day and all that shyte..

If I don't hear from her for days on end, I don't lose sleep over it.

What does bother me is, having to arrange ALL the sex dates... And if I don't reach out to arrange, then the whole thing will die off.

Seems a little too one sided... I have had one FLAKE from her, but that wasn't a big issue as plate number 2 was available.

Another flake and she is out.

I agree with where you are coming from but from my standpoint, if the sex is good, use her until it simply doesnt work OR until you replace her.

If its SEX that you are after, you're getting it with a minimal investment.

The idea her is that you would like for her to show more enthusiasm towards you. That is something that you can either live with or makes her someone that you replace/dismiss.

I am simply saying that I personally dont like to throw away perfectly good @ss. Although there comes a time that things dont line up with what you are looking for and its time to move on.

We both know that if she isnt reaching out there is a reason for it. That is what bothers you more than anything. We both know that its just a matter of time before this one stops responding to your booty calls. So I agree that you should be looking for a replacement but I wouldnt toss her just yet.

A lot of this is determined on what you want. Is it a 2-4 chick rotation? LTR? Your intent is the deciding factor in all of this and without knowing what your end game is its impossible for us to be able to give you the greatest advice.