After fifth date - she doesn’t want to get emotionally attached

[BJP1991]

Well, my dinner date at my place tonight ended early. Was our fifth date in 1 month.

Recap:

We had dinner, usual laughing and joking banter, few kisses mixed in.

Ten minutes after dinner she tells me she has something to talk about.

On her work trip two weeks ago, her boss offered her a promotion, for which she would be moving out of state for within 6-12 months.

She said she really likes me, but doesn’t want to get emotionally involved because she worries it wouldn’t end well with her moving.

She basically was saying we can’t see one another anymore because of it.

I didn’t press it. I congratulated her for the job and acted happy for her, even though I knew what it meant.

She talked about it not being good for us trying to be friends since we already have been sexual. I agreed and said I don’t want to be friends anyhow.

We briefly talked it over, I reassured her it wasn’t a big deal since I’m not her boyfriend at it was only our fifth date.

When she left, she offered a handshake or a hug - I declined both and said “this isn’t a business meeting, ya know” with a smirk, and she gave me a kiss instead. I told her if it doesn’t work out and she stays in town, she has my number to call me.

As she left, I jokingly said “call me” and that was it.



Honestly a little bummed, and I really don’t believe I overpursued her at all. I never blew up her phone between dates and used the phone to arrange seeing her. We saw each other once per week for one month

I respect she wanted to talk in person, but I can’t help but feel if she actually really likes me, she wouldn’t end it so suddenly - perhaps I am wrong. Doesn’t matter now - looking ahead and trying to get some plates going with OLD and planning to interact with more women out in the real world on a day to day basis.


I know it’s time to get to spinning plates as usual, and the girl I saw last week is meeting me for drinks again Saturday. Some definite plate potential there...

Just wondering if you anyone has any closing thoughts/advice/pick me ups to give me, as I’m pretty bummed about it, but I’ll live. She was great, but wore too much makeup to cover her blemishes/acne/whatever she was trying to hide.

 

[marmel75]

It might be the truth, it might be BS because she just wasn't that into you.

Either way nothing you can do just keep it moving.

 

[Robert28]

Well I didn’t get the “dont want to get emotionally attatched” but I did get the “im confused and have some soul searching to do” after almost 3 months. I just said “ok, cool, good luck to you”. Turns out that wasn’t what she expected to hear because not 3 weeks went by and she pops up and invites me to a concert and tells me how she’s “so excited to go with me”. Guess that soul searching and confusion solved itself with a bit of ignoring for a few weeks on my part. Do that, go ghost. This girl will be back I have a feeling.

 

[BJP1991]

c

Well I didn’t get the “dont want to get emotionally attatched” but I did get the “im confused and have some soul searching to do” after almost 3 months. I just said “ok, cool, good luck to you”. Turns out that wasn’t what she expected to hear because not 3 weeks went by and she pops up and invites me to a concert and tells me how she’s “so excited to go with me”. Guess that soul searching and confusion solved itself with a bit of ignoring for a few weeks on my part. Do that, go ghost. This girl will be back I have a feeling.

Not sure if she’ll be back, but she knows how to get a hold of me. She has a unique area code that I’ll recognize if she texts me again ever - but for my own sake I deleted her number so I never have any urge to contact her again.

Basically I gave her the Corey Wayne speech of “I don’t want to be friends” and she agreed. She said she didn’t want casual because she had bad luck with it in the past. I didn’t push for it.


That’s why I’m confused. She gives me signals of interest and kisses me goodbye. I’m never going to reach out to her. I know when it’s happens, usually they never come back, but in the odd chance she does, I’ll make things on my terms from that point forward

 

[lamath]

You handled it well

But once she basically broke up with you, i would have ended the date right there.
That she needed to talk about it, was for her self validation and to make her feel better not you.
I would have tell her thats fine, nothing more to talk about.
No kiss hug or anything else.

 

[greatsnake]

LOL tell her that you only want her as a plate or just MOVE ON. Women are emotional by nature and by her saying that, she’s basically saying that she wants nothing with you.

 

[cola]

Only thing I would have done differently was leave immediately. Next time don’t finish the date, ask for check and bounce.

 

[BJP1991]

You handled it well

But once she basically broke up with you, i would have ended the date right there.
That she needed to talk about it, was for her self validation and to make her feel better not you.
I would have tell her thats fine, nothing more to talk about.
No kiss hug or anything else.

The discussion lasted all of ten minutes, so it was pretty brief

 

[BJP1991]

Only thing I would have done differently was leave immediately. Next time don’t finish the date, ask for check and bounce.

It was dinner at my own house, so not possible, otherwise yeah I would have.

See, i don’t get why she wouldn’t just do it over text or by phone. I respect that she wanted to say it in person. I could have pushed harder for sex in the moment, but it felt all wrong and would have backfired I think. She also mentioned she has tried casual back in college and it wound up hurting her emotionally and she wouldn’t do it again.

On to the next, correct? Also, I will never be contacting her again. I sense her attraction and interest IS there still, but rules are rules and I know not to reach out

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Lmfao lulz a woman not wanting emotional connection.

Enjoy the decline fellas.. #nextSet #micdrop

Hotter girls are turning 18 19 20 21 every day

 

[cola]

It was dinner at my own house, so not possible, otherwise yeah I would have.

Even better. Walk to door, open door, motion for her to leave.

 

[backseatjuan]

It was dinner at my own house, so not possible, otherwise yeah I would have.

Leave your own house!

I wonder tho, did you fck her during any of these 5 dates? Because you seem to be having - at least from what I've read - boyfriend/girlfriend dates, instead of hot steamy sex. Date 2 maximum, preferably date 1, you fck them. Why keep dating if you're not getting sex? Really think about it. Because a) you have no other options, and b) you are looking for long term relationship. So you come off as boyfriend nice guy material, and a sht load of problems associated with that beta stuff.

Another good way to come across as boyfriend material is to take her out for a dinner, and then to top it all off pay for it.

Go for it and overthink the situation, why she bailed, is she leaving, or she sht testing you, is it her way of saying fck me now I'm tired of waiting? We'll never know.

Though your problem is that you gotta escalate verbally, and physically, even if you think you'll come across as a total dck. If attraction is there she'll go for it, if it's not there she'll blow you off. You only win in these situations because you don't waste your own time. That's firstly, secondly don't come across as boyfriend material by follow up calling, or texting, for at least a week. If you fck her on first date, make it two weeks. Keep it simple, use texting for logistics. You're busy setting things up with other women.

Make that girl one of many options, if she fcks good, add her to regular rotation, if she's not fcking that means attraction is not there, stop wasting your time. Dating is about having sex, not friend bullshy like hanging out and eating.

I hope that you don't become her beta f@g orbiter! Ask yourself, in these 5 dates did you fck? If no, don't call her, don't text her, don't answer calls or texts. If you did, go ahead and setup another get together and fck her again, tell her you're not looking for anything serious right after you bust in her face.

 

[AJ84]

Well, my dinner date at my place tonight ended early. Was our fifth date in 1 month.

Recap:

We had dinner, usual laughing and joking banter, few kisses mixed in.

Ten minutes after dinner she tells me she has something to talk about.

On her work trip two weeks ago, her boss offered her a promotion, for which she would be moving out of state for within 6-12 months.

She said she really likes me, but doesn’t want to get emotionally involved because she worries it wouldn’t end well with her moving.

She basically was saying we can’t see one another anymore because of it.

I didn’t press it. I congratulated her for the job and acted happy for her, even though I knew what it meant.

She talked about it not being good for us trying to be friends since we already have been sexual. I agreed and said I don’t want to be friends anyhow.

We briefly talked it over, I reassured her it wasn’t a big deal since I’m not her boyfriend at it was only our fifth date.

When she left, she offered a handshake or a hug - I declined both and said “this isn’t a business meeting, ya know” with a smirk, and she gave me a kiss instead. I told her if it doesn’t work out and she stays in town, she has my number to call me.

As she left, I jokingly said “call me” and that was it.



Honestly a little bummed, and I really don’t believe I overpursued her at all. I never blew up her phone between dates and used the phone to arrange seeing her. We saw each other once per week for one month

I respect she wanted to talk in person, but I can’t help but feel if she actually really likes me, she wouldn’t end it so suddenly - perhaps I am wrong. Doesn’t matter now - looking ahead and trying to get some plates going with OLD and planning to interact with more women out in the real world on a day to day basis.


I know it’s time to get to spinning plates as usual, and the girl I saw last week is meeting me for drinks again Saturday. Some definite plate potential there...

Just wondering if you anyone has any closing thoughts/advice/pick me ups to give me, as I’m pretty bummed about it, but I’ll live. She was great, but wore too much makeup to cover her blemishes/acne/whatever she was trying to hide.

She’s moving in 6 to 12 months for a job promotion.
She already tried the causal thing and didn’t like it, so being a plate is not an option.
If she didn’t think much of you she would of just ghosted, but she told you in person. I see that as her respect for you.
And let’s face it, would you have wanted either of you to catch feelings only to have to end it when she moves?
It sucks, but I think you handled it very well. If you had gotten butt hurt over it and said or did something snarky it would of just made her feel 100% better about her decision.

 

[BJP1991]

Leave your own house!

I wonder tho, did you fck her during any of these 5 dates? Because you seem to be having - at least from what I've read - boyfriend/girlfriend dates, instead of hot steamy sex. Date 2 maximum, preferably date 1, you fck them. Why keep dating if you're not getting sex? Really think about it. Because a) you have no other options, and b) you are looking for long term relationship. So you come off as boyfriend nice guy material, and a sht load of problems associated with that beta stuff.

Another good way to come across as boyfriend material is to take her out for a dinner, and then to top it all off pay for it.

Go for it and overthink the situation, why she bailed, is she leaving, or she sht testing you, is it her way of saying fck me now I'm tired of waiting? We'll never know.

Though your problem is that you gotta escalate verbally, and physically, even if you think you'll come across as a total dck. If attraction is there she'll go for it, if it's not there she'll blow you off. You only win in these situations because you don't waste your own time. That's firstly, secondly don't come across as boyfriend material by follow up calling, or texting, for at least a week. If you fck her on first date, make it two weeks. Keep it simple, use texting for logistics. You're busy setting things up with other women.

Make that girl one of many options, if she fcks good, add her to regular rotation, if she's not fcking that means attraction is not there, stop wasting your time. Dating is about having sex, not friend bullshy like hanging out and eating.

I hope that you don't become her beta f@g orbiter! Ask yourself, in these 5 dates did you fck? If no, don't call her, don't text her, don't answer calls or texts. If you did, go ahead and setup another get together and fck her again, tell her you're not looking for anything serious right after you bust in her face.

We banged all night long on our third date.

If I’ve learned anything from AMS/CW/SS it’s that I should never ever reach back out to her and go full No Contact. That is what I will be doing

 

[Spaz]

Well, my dinner date at my place tonight ended early. Was our fifth date in 1 month.

Recap:

We had dinner, usual laughing and joking banter, few kisses mixed in.

Ten minutes after dinner she tells me she has something to talk about.

On her work trip two weeks ago, her boss offered her a promotion, for which she would be moving out of state for within 6-12 months.

She said she really likes me, but doesn’t want to get emotionally involved because she worries it wouldn’t end well with her moving.

She basically was saying we can’t see one another anymore because of it.

I didn’t press it. I congratulated her for the job and acted happy for her, even though I knew what it meant.

She talked about it not being good for us trying to be friends since we already have been sexual. I agreed and said I don’t want to be friends anyhow.

We briefly talked it over, I reassured her it wasn’t a big deal since I’m not her boyfriend at it was only our fifth date.

When she left, she offered a handshake or a hug - I declined both and said “this isn’t a business meeting, ya know” with a smirk, and she gave me a kiss instead. I told her if it doesn’t work out and she stays in town, she has my number to call me.

As she left, I jokingly said “call me” and that was it.



Honestly a little bummed, and I really don’t believe I overpursued her at all. I never blew up her phone between dates and used the phone to arrange seeing her. We saw each other once per week for one month

I respect she wanted to talk in person, but I can’t help but feel if she actually really likes me, she wouldn’t end it so suddenly - perhaps I am wrong. Doesn’t matter now - looking ahead and trying to get some plates going with OLD and planning to interact with more women out in the real world on a day to day basis.


I know it’s time to get to spinning plates as usual, and the girl I saw last week is meeting me for drinks again Saturday. Some definite plate potential there...

Just wondering if you anyone has any closing thoughts/advice/pick me ups to give me, as I’m pretty bummed about it, but I’ll live. She was great, but wore too much makeup to cover her blemishes/acne/whatever she was trying to hide.

The promotion story is a good lie.

Next time I'll use that line on some chick after she cooked me dinner and gave me a good ride.

I'll even offer to shake her hand after its all done.

What do you think she'll do ?

 

[BJP1991]

The promotion story is a good lie.

Next time I'll use that line on some chick after she cooked me dinner and gave me a good ride.

I'll even offer to shake her hand after its all done.

What do you think she'll do ?

I know it’s a lie. That’s why it’s so stupid.

From experience, she would feel deflated and like she wasted time cooking dinner. She would want to know the true reason and would wonder if there was anything she could have done or said to change it in the moment.

But she didn’t do or say anything to change it in the moment.



I hate that I let her kiss me goodbye - to me that shows she still has enough attraction and interest. I deleted her number and will only talk with her if she reaches out to me.

 

[sazc]

I can’t help but feel if she actually really likes me, she wouldn’t end it so suddenly

This

 

[Spaz]

I know it’s a lie. That’s why it’s so stupid.

From experience, she would feel deflated and like she wasted time cooking dinner. She would want to know the true reason and would wonder if there was anything she could have done or said to change it in the moment.

But she didn’t do or say anything to change it in the moment.



I hate that I let her kiss me goodbye - to me that shows she still has enough attraction and interest. I deleted her number and will only talk with her if she reaches out to me.

Not just deflated, she'd be furious.

She got used and dumped to the curb....not only that, she was further insulted with my handshake.

A fvcking handshake.

And she made it worse by kissing me with a good squeeze of my butt...wtf???

Do you understand OP?

 

[BJP1991]

If you had gotten butt hurt over it and said or did something snarky it would of just made her feel 100% better about her decision.

Yeah - this morning I thought, “what if I stood up for myself after cooking a meal for her and basically blocking off an entire night”, but I know that’s an emotional response, which is not masculine frame.

 

[Robert28]

They always pull this **** after you feed them.lol