Not confirming plans with females.

[Glassguy]

Dash is correct. Again, its not an issue of sending a quick message to confirm, but how you go about it.

Option 1: Hey you......I will see you at such and such place at 7:30. Let me know if you get there first and you can grab a table for us"

Option 2: Hey Megan! I just wanted to make sure you were going to show up this evening. I like to double check so I dont show up and get flaked on. So let me know...ok?"

As you can see these are both confirming texts but totally different frames behind each one.

Confidence is not worrying if she will show up, its not caring if she doesnt because you have other options.

Women will b!tch about guys like me who are dating multiple women but they bring this on themselves.

Last Wednesday I met up with a new chick (potentially 4th plate in my rotation). We met up for drinks, good convo, had a few shots. She was hinting about a restaurant in our area that she has never been to. All of a sudden she was setting up date 2 for this Tuesday. So I told her I would check and see if I was free. We leave the place we grabbed drinks, I walk her to her car and she is all over me. We get in her SUV and within minutes she is blowing me. When that is over, I tell her to let me know she got home ok, which she did.

So on Sunday afternoon I let her know I was free for Tuesday evening. She says great, cant wait to see you then.

Monday rolls around.......

Her: I hope you're having a great Monday. Sorry I have to cancel tomorrow evening but I appreciate the dinner offer.
Me: Canceling or rescheduling?
Her: Canceling
Me: No problem. Take care.

This morning :

Her (9am): Hey how are you?
Her (10am): Are you mad at me?
Me (11am): nah not mad at all.
Her: Do you still want to meet up?
Me: My schedule is slammed. I will let you know if I get free.
Her: Uhm...ok?
Her: Well I need to know so I can make arrangements to get free.
Me: Like I said, I will let you know.
Her: Oh so bc I canceled the other night you are going to take it out on me?
Me: Yes I am. I will take it out on you when you come over to my place (that is IF I can get free).
Her: What about dinner?
Me: Yeah that was Tuesday. Its now Thursday, so that has passed.
Her: Ok. Well let me know if you can get free.

I didnt respond back.

Point is, women are super fvcking unpredictable.

If you get flaked on, she cancels, etc., its honestly best to just not even text back a wordy response and just leave it. If a woman does this, all they EVER get is a "No problem." out of me. Im dust in the wind if she never reaches back out, and then its only her coming to my place. I will not physically get in a vehicle and drive to meet her if she didnt counter offer a specific day and time.

I know I am getting ahead of the topic here, but women are unpredictable, you shouldnt lose sleep or get p!ssed at how a woman acts as they can all act like this at the drop of a hat.

Stop putting too much thought into this stuff. Either send a very manly confirmation text or dont. Her interest level will determine whether she stays true to the date or she doesnt.

Learn to better gauge her interest level and the flakes will become nearly non existent.

 

[Steel_Neurons]

This morning :

Her (9am): Hey how are you?
Her (10am): Are you mad at me?
Me (11am): nah not mad at all.
Her: Do you still want to meet up?
Me: My schedule is slammed. I will let you know if I get free.
Her: Uhm...ok?
Her: Well I need to know so I can make arrangements to get free.
Me: Like I said, I will let you know.
Her: Oh so bc I canceled the other night you are going to take it out on me?
Me: Yes I am. I will take it out on you when you come over to my place (that is IF I can get free).
Her: What about dinner?
Me: Yeah that was Tuesday. Its now Thursday, so that has passed.
Her: Ok. Well let me know if you can get free.

I didnt respond back.

Very interesting post. If she had said something like "Haha! sounds good. When did you have in mind?" after you said "Yes I am. I will take it out on you when you come over to my place (that is IF I can get free)." instead of trying to get a free dinner out of you, would you have given her another chance and had her round?

 

[Glassguy]

Very interesting post. If she had said something like "Haha! sounds good. When did you have in mind?" after you said "Yes I am. I will take it out on you when you come over to my place (that is IF I can get free)." instead of trying to get a free dinner out of you, would you have given her another chance and had her round?

I would have told her an evening that I had free that she could come over. If she danced around that I would have thanked her for the bj and then its deuces.

 

[Steel_Neurons]

Yeah, fair enough. Thanks.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah, fair enough. Thanks.

My philosophy is simple, yet very effective:

First date is drinks.
Second date is either drinks/possibly dinner or she comes over to hang out (all dependent on her actions on date 1, how date 1 ended and most importantly, how much I am into her)
Third date is at my place, her place or a pre determined grab a drink and then chill at my place/her place.

Now this is what happens: if they reschedule date 2 for a reason that seems legit (and you will know by her actions, if she is still initiating contact AFTER rescheduling, etc) then drinks/possible dinner might still be on the table.

However, if they cancel date 2 or they want to reschedule but dont counter offer another specific day and time, then date 2 is gone.

At that point they will either accept me being direct and inviting them over to my place when they reach back out or they can go kick rocks. They missed date 2 on their own accord and they can put up or shut up.

Some of you guys are reading this and cringing. You are asking yourself "how can I really be that direct?". Try it. See for yourself.

If it works, great. If not, you lost out on nothing and wasted no more of your time messaging, texting, etc with this chick.

 

[marmel75]

My philosophy is simple, yet very effective:

First date is drinks.
Second date is either drinks/possibly dinner or she comes over to hang out (all dependent on her actions on date 1, how date 1 ended and most importantly, how much I am into her)
Third date is at my place, her place or a pre determined grab a drink and then chill at my place/her place.

Now this is what happens: if they reschedule date 2 for a reason that seems legit (and you will know by her actions, if she is still initiating contact AFTER rescheduling, etc) then drinks/possible dinner might still be on the table.

However, if they cancel date 2 or they want to reschedule but dont counter offer another specific day and time, then date 2 is gone.

At that point they will either accept me being direct and inviting them over to my place when they reach back out or they can go kick rocks. They missed date 2 on their own accord and they can put up or shut up.

Some of you guys are reading this and cringing. You are asking yourself "how can I really be that direct?". Try it. See for yourself.

If it works, great. If not, you lost out on nothing and wasted no more of your time messaging, texting, etc with this chick.

I can vouge that this will work...I had a second date where the women ended up oversleeping because she was up early for her job and had went home and took a nap...

I showed up she didn't...I ended up leavi g and she sent me several texts about an hour and a half later profusely apologizing. I told her I appreciated her letting me know she was a low quality person sooner rather than later. She explained what happend and said she was looking forward to seeing me. I told her fine...she can cook me dinner to make it up to me.

Not only did she cook me a phenomenal dinner with dessert but afterwards we banged like rabbits for several hours. She ended becoming a long term FWB...cpuldnt date her because she was just too unreliable with her work schedule and having to stay amd work late(she was a chef...if people didnt show up or they got busy she had to stay late and really disnt know when she would be done) but FWB was perfect becauee I didnt have to waste time...if she canceled it was no biggie, we just banged another night.

 

[Trump]

The only times I’ve confirmed a date after I’ve made the date is when I want her to cancel.

I’ve had women confirm dates with me, it’s feels they are so desperate.

To each his own.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent wait a minute!! Your the lady that gave a guy advice about taking another mans woman LOL! Yeah your real high value.. more like another crab in the bucket lol.. your low value actually not high.. i wouldnt give you the steam off my urine

Listen. I don’t judge. I just advise. We are all adults here. I’m a high value woman by just about any standard you want to apply.

But I’m not going to tell others what moral code they need to adhere to. That’s for each of us to determine individually.

 

[Billtx49]

Listen. I don’t judge. I just advise.

But I’m not going to tell others what moral code they need to adhere to. That’s for each of us to determine individually.

Exactly, definitely not accusing you, but it’s occasionally difficult for some posters, myself included, to draw the internal in the moment line between giving advice and what I think of as preaching to others…
Posting awareness is necessary

 

[RickTheToad]

I just shoot a text the day of saying “See you at 9”.

I’m not wondering or asking if we’re still on, but it does entice any woman who might be on the fence to respond with a decision.

I don’t see what’s so “beta” about that.

Some guys might say it gives them an opportunity to back out, but so what. If they do, it also gives me an opportunity to plan something with another woman earlier in the day, rather than sit somewhere at 9 pm wondering if they’re going to show up or not.

A lot of women even shoot me that very same text before I do.

Well, @Amante Silvestre, we all you know you're a true blue beta.. It's okay...

j/k

 

[DelayedGratification]

@Trump i didnt even need to.confirm she cancelled lol.. i feel so much better that i didnt reach out. Still feel alpha.. i didnt even respond to her cancellation message. Someone like that who is gonna lie just to screw with my head does not deserve a response lol

Interesting thing is that I just got this morning a mixed-message flake-out. Claimed stomach bug (plausible, especially the morning of the date when she probably had just called in sick to work), and also apologized and gave me her phone number so we could text off-site. There's lots of reasons to "next" her, no doubt that's where people here would land.

But (a) I'm a bit intrigued to meet up, as she has a unique profile and I really don't care if it's a one-off learn-from-the-experience date, and (b) she was skipping straight to the meetup without a ton of messaging. The latter was especially appealing as all the women on online dating seem to kvetch about not wanting pen-pals but then do the same thing themselves.

So far I let the message hang for a few hours, as I was busy anyway, and then sent a "No worries, am slammed with work anyway, hope you feel better" (all of which is true: I was kinda squeezing in the date anyway, and things got busier today so I'm happy to have a catch-up night). I made a point to continue to use the site and not the phone number she offered up.

I am unexpectedly off the hook for kid duty for most of the weekend and am considering a reschedule for Saturday night. Slam away, I can take it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well, @Amante Silvestre, we all you know you're a true blue beta.. It's okay...

j/k

Plays maintenance man for several ladies and get no sex.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Interesting thread.

 

[Steel_Neurons]

My philosophy is simple, yet very effective:

First date is drinks.
Second date is either drinks/possibly dinner or she comes over to hang out (all dependent on her actions on date 1, how date 1 ended and most importantly, how much I am into her)
Third date is at my place, her place or a pre determined grab a drink and then chill at my place/her place.

Now this is what happens: if they reschedule date 2 for a reason that seems legit (and you will know by her actions, if she is still initiating contact AFTER rescheduling, etc) then drinks/possible dinner might still be on the table.

However, if they cancel date 2 or they want to reschedule but dont counter offer another specific day and time, then date 2 is gone.

At that point they will either accept me being direct and inviting them over to my place when they reach back out or they can go kick rocks. They missed date 2 on their own accord and they can put up or shut up.

Some of you guys are reading this and cringing. You are asking yourself "how can I really be that direct?". Try it. See for yourself.

If it works, great. If not, you lost out on nothing and wasted no more of your time messaging, texting, etc with this chick.

Thanks for writing this out. This seems quite in line with AMS's approach?

Personally, I'm not cringing when I read this. I think it's fair enough. I've had too much BS in the last year since I got back into dating again properly. I've learnt from the few cold approaches I did recently to be more direct, although I haven't tried out this system. I think it's fine to be direct as long as you do it in a respectful/adult way.