Not confirming plans with females.

[niceguytoalphamale]

No contact with her until you get there a week later is kind of weird imo

I would treat the date confirmation wise like i would if i was going somewhere with some guy friend.

@lamath what females have to remember is you are the prize! Not them. Whoever invented the idea that the woman is more valuable than a male is a dead beat.. they still chit the same as men. There nothing special. No matter how hot they are.

 

[lamath]

@lamath what females have to remember is you are the prize! Not them. Whoever invented the idea that the woman is more valuable than a male is a dead beat.. they still chit the same as men. There nothing special. No matter how hot they are.

I know and thats why i treat them the same way i would one of.my guy friend in regarfs to confirming a date.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

@lamath so your in the same category as me?

 

[sangheilios]

Women are super flaky today, I would never go out of my way for a meetup without some sort of confirmation before hand.

I had a friend who was supposed to meet up with a girl he met on bumble, or tinder I forget. Anyway, they were supposed to meet up for a drink and she ended up not showing up. He had actually gone there at their arranged time, hung out there for a bit and she ended up messaging him saying that she wasn't interested lol. I would be furious if someone wasted my time like that but in the bigger picture I'd be happy, as why the hell would one want someone like that in their life.

I think something simple like "see you at 8" or "looking forward to seeing you this evening" would be fine.

 

[Mazer]

@Mazer my time is also valuable, i wont be driving anywhere or messaging her to confirm if i dont hear from her lol. I refuse to chase or comfirm dates its just not me.. its there job to confirm its a 2 way street. Not a selfish female driven 1 way street. I wont f**k with that chit.

She confirms or you confirm. Doesn’t really matter. As long as your not being needy and blowing up her phone. I could care less if she thinks I am beta for “confirming”.
Most importantly is what happens on the actual date. I have confirmed dates and she ended up in my bed. She confirmed and still ended up in my bed. It’s how you game her on the date that counts. Do what works for you.

 

[lamath]

@lamath so your in the same category as me?

I just dont do anything different than anybody else i have plan with.

 

[SoSuave666]

Never confirm. This is why you set up date activities that you want to do regardless if another person is there.

I usually set the first date at a place VERY close to where I live. drinks at my local watering hole. Ill go, have a beer, and if she doesn't show then whatever, I'm in my spot and am comfortable. Then I walk home.

Usually though the woman confirms before the date OR shows up at our scheduled time. 90% of the time if not more. If shes a good proposition for me I try to get her back to my apartment. If she isn't, well, I have a few beers then cut it short and walk home.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think that in some things we tend to take it too far. Why would I want to show up at a venue without knowing she's on board? If I do a quick confirmation, I will save myself the hassle of showing up and finding out she flaked.

If she's into you, she will have no problem whatsoever with your confirming. If she is the kind of girl who feels you are less of a man because you confirmed, then good riddance! Reasonable people confirm.

"Hey, see you tomorrow."

Done.

 

[Glassguy]

^^^^^ I agree with @Atom Smasher ^^^^^^

I dont have a problem confirming and she shouldnt either. If she does, I wont waste my time with her.

If the woman has high interest in you (and you are her best available option) I will assure you that you WILL hear from her if you set a date on Tuesday for Friday. If you havent heard from her by Thursday, its probably a bad deal anyways. That should be your gauge by which to send a confirmation text.

If she texts you daily saying that she is looking forward to seeing you, would you still confirm the day before or day of? Of course not.

You are only wanting to confirm the date because she isnt showing high interest and you are in limbo on reading her interest level. So you can either confirm (and she will respond or she wont respond) or you can go anyway if its something that you wanted to do all along and inviting her to tag along (which is what you should be doing on a first date- that way if she doesnt show up, your plans dont really change).

Get it?

Now onto something else that I have learned in my mass exodus pvssy slaying over the past 6 years:

If she isnt really reaching out (one word responses, hours and hours to reply back, hinting that she MIGHT have something happen that may prevent her from meeting up) I just simply say "OK" and I dont respond back. That also means that I DO NOT GO to the place I was supposed to meet her.

So essentially, I am flaking on her. In the past I have done this a couple of times and the chick showed up and texted me asking where I was. Honesty is my best policy, so I told them that I didnt really think they acted interested and I made other plans. One got super p!ssed and the other chased extremely hard.

But back to the topic at hand:

Confirming for some guys is a gauge on reading her interest because you werent good enough at doing so early on. For a guy like me a confirmation is just that.........making sure we are going to be there at the same time.

"Hey Nikki.......its been a super busy week and I'll need like 4 beers when we get together Friday night. Did we say 7:30 or 8 because I have been so busy at my business this week that I cant remember!?!?"

Thats my confirmation text. I am not asking IF she is coming, only making sure we are on the same time.

Make sense?

And if she doesnt respond back in a reasonable amount of time (like 6 hours) then I make other plans. You have to realize that some people genuinely get busy so dont get all psycho acting guys. Remain cool and go from there.

But dont confuse CONFIRMING with WONDERING if she is going to show up. You are only putting a bandaid on your inability to properly gauge her interest correctly and you need to work on that.

 

[glass half full]

Hi guys. Normally when you set a date with a female you confirm those plans the day/night before right? Ok so my hb9 came back after NC and i set a date for friday at her house. I haven't spoken to her for a few days. Now if i dont hear from her the day before the date or the day of the date. Im not going to confirm the date or ask if its still all good. I dont know why. I just think its a beta male move to confirm a date if she hasnt said boo since the plans or doesnt ask if its still on. Ive been going through a red pill MGTOW stage if thats what you would call it. If you read my other posts. Any other guys like this?
P.s im kinda turning into a take it or leave it kinda man. Doesnt phase me the outcome.

I've never done this (calling to confirm)...never heard of that.
Somehow I figure if I show up and she doesn't, she's a waste of my time and I go do things I want to do. By myself if necessary, no fvcks given.

I figure if the date wasn't that important to her to keep her word, than she may not keep her word later. Kind of like the video "the door test".

If a woman doesn't look forward to a date as much as I do, she's not every interested, or very high maintenance/low value.
Anytime I was stood up, they never called and said "Oh, I'm sorry...(insert excuse)..."
Not my problem

I've always thought this way, wayyy before I ever heard of the Red Pill.

 

[DelayedGratification]

Like most forum discussions, I think hairs are being split. Beyond blowing up their phone, and phrasing the confirmation in beta-frame, there's no exact right or wrong way. As an earlier post said, either she's into you and will keep her promise, or will flake and you don't want to deal with her anyway.

Treating it like a client meeting is certainly reasonable. One (exactly one) check-in phrased in such a way that you are confirming, not wondering (good wording Glassguy). Unlikely that's going beta-frame you.

Alternatively, just assuming that the date is set and both parties just show up works too. Runs the slight risk that she flakes and you have to decide how inconvenient that is to you. Or as others have described, make the date be structured in a way that works for you whether she shows or not.

Both are reasonable, and if there's a fail along the way, it probably wasn't because of whether you took a confirm or no-confirm approach.

 

[Glassguy]

Beyond blowing up their phone, and phrasing the confirmation in beta-frame

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes........Its all in how you do it and in context. If you come across as confident and direct you are fine. If you act corny as hell and blow their phone up, you're probably done.

Two things determine literally EVERYTHING with women:

1.) Her attraction/interest level. If it is sky high you dont have much to worry about.

2.) How you interact/dont be needy/dont be available all the time.....basically dont do anything to LOWER higher attraction/interest on her part. Say and do JUST ENOUGH to keep things going.

You will NEVER hear me asking them "how long ago was your last relationship", "What are you looking for", etc etc. You should never under any circumstances let a woman know that you are looking for a GIRLFRIEND. That is immediate dismissal in her eyes even if she is looking for a BF.

I dont care if I have been single for 2 weeks or 3 years......its their job to ask me what I am looking for or it will NEVER be mentioned. When they do, I say the same thing: "I am recently single and just enjoying the single dating life. I am not closed off to a relationship if the right person comes along and adds value to my life". Boom. Thats it.

Early on texting commandents:

1.) Respond in a reasonable amount of time but rarely instantly and always sporadically.

2.) Never reveal too much about yourself. If the woman is asking you questions about yourself in text you should answer in a relatively aloof way.

3.) Treat your texting conversations as if you have 2 or 3 others wanting to come over to your place tonight. You want to hang out with her but you have other options and arent going to chase after her. She needs to put in effort to communicate with you too

4.) Lack of responses, one word responses, "LOL" response from her are normally INSTANT dismissal from me, same for "Ill let you know, we will see, Not sure, etc if I invite her to meet up for a drink. Dust in the wind. She will never hear from me again if she doesnt reach out. If she does reach out, I may or may NOT invite her again. I may friend zone her (directly) or I might say "did you text me about grabbing a drink or whats up?". Sh!t or get. I dont have time to be fvcking around wondering. I will make my intentions fairly clear and she can make it easy on me or not. Make it easy and I will pursue. Make it difficult and I have much better things to do.

I also set up a date offer pretty quick. Normally after 4 or 5 messages. No need to waste time and I set the precedence right away that she doesnt get free text time from me if we are not going to meet up.

 

[Trump]

I think that in some things we tend to take it too far. Why would I want to show up at a venue without knowing she's on board? If I do a quick confirmation, I will save myself the hassle of showing up and finding out she flaked.

It’s not about saving yourself the hassle, it’s about are you important enough for her to save the date.

If you confirm, you are initiating and the girl as an out. If you don’t confirm, she has to initiate to give herself an out. Makes a world of difference.

‘Hey Cindy, we are still good for Friday 7 pm?”
‘Oh yeah, is that tomorrow? Oh I completely forget. My sisters boyfriend is coming into town and we are having dinner with him and his friends. I’m so sorry!”

I would never ever confirm. You are wasting your time.

 

[DelayedGratification]

If you confirm, you are initiating and the girl as an out. If you don’t confirm, she has to initiate to give herself an out. Makes a world of difference.

‘Hey Cindy, we are still good for Friday 7 pm?”
‘Oh yeah, is that tomorrow? Oh I completely forget. My sisters boyfriend is coming into town and we are having dinner with him and his friends. I’m so sorry!”

I would never ever confirm. You are wasting your time.

The corollary to this scenario is she does the same thing unprompted, two hours before your date. If her IL is low enough to use a confirmation as a way out, then you were probably wasting your time anyway, and/or she was going to find a way to bail regardless of what you did.

And that example confirmation is totally beta-frame, just sayin'.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It’s not about saving yourself the hassle, it’s about are you important enough for her to save the date.

If you confirm, you are initiating and the girl as an out. If you don’t confirm, she has to initiate to give herself an out. Makes a world of difference.

‘Hey Cindy, we are still good for Friday 7 pm?”
‘Oh yeah, is that tomorrow? Oh I completely forget. My sisters boyfriend is coming into town and we are having dinner with him and his friends. I’m so sorry!”

I would never ever confirm. You are wasting your time.

I've never experienced a flake in my entire life.

I think it has to do with who you are and how you project things. Methinks that many of you are making dates with semi-interested women. I've only ever made dates with obviously interested women. My record speaks for itself.

I could never understand why men make dates with marginally interested women. It's not very hard to have a zero flake record. Qualify, qualify, qualify.

When you're picking the bottom of the barrel, you worry about flakes and need to devise strategies to prevent her from flaking. When you qualify her to see that she is eager to spend time with you, there is no such concern.

 

[Steel_Neurons]

Interesting thread. I don't think I've ever confirmed before, definitely not for something local (i.e. 30 mins travel or less). If I were going out of town, then yeah I would.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Ok guys i was meant to go there tommorow. I just got a message. Mind you i havent heard from her in days.. she said she is sick and dont bother coming over. My response? No response. She is full of chit. This girl tries a real power struggle with me.. so if she wants to play immature games she will be met with no response. I know i sound butt hurt i can assure you im not.. i knew this was coming because we hadnt spoken. But im a man and ill handle it like one... i really dont care im the highest value guy she will ever have.. she can go back to the scrubby guys lol

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

^^^^^ I agree with @Atom Smasher ^^^^^^

I dont have a problem confirming and she shouldnt either. If she does, I wont waste my time with her.

If the woman has high interest in you (and you are her best available option) I will assure you that you WILL hear from her if you set a date on Tuesday for Friday. If you havent heard from her by Thursday, its probably a bad deal anyways. That should be your gauge by which to send a confirmation text.

If she texts you daily saying that she is looking forward to seeing you, would you still confirm the day before or day of? Of course not.

You are only wanting to confirm the date because she isnt showing high interest and you are in limbo on reading her interest level. So you can either confirm (and she will respond or she wont respond) or you can go anyway if its something that you wanted to do all along and inviting her to tag along (which is what you should be doing on a first date- that way if she doesnt show up, your plans dont really change).

Get it?

Now onto something else that I have learned in my mass exodus pvssy slaying over the past 6 years:

If she isnt really reaching out (one word responses, hours and hours to reply back, hinting that she MIGHT have something happen that may prevent her from meeting up) I just simply say "OK" and I dont respond back. That also means that I DO NOT GO to the place I was supposed to meet her.

So essentially, I am flaking on her. In the past I have done this a couple of times and the chick showed up and texted me asking where I was. Honesty is my best policy, so I told them that I didnt really think they acted interested and I made other plans. One got super p!ssed and the other chased extremely hard.

But back to the topic at hand:

Confirming for some guys is a gauge on reading her interest because you werent good enough at doing so early on. For a guy like me a confirmation is just that.........making sure we are going to be there at the same time.

"Hey Nikki.......its been a super busy week and I'll need like 4 beers when we get together Friday night. Did we say 7:30 or 8 because I have been so busy at my business this week that I cant remember!?!?"

Thats my confirmation text. I am not asking IF she is coming, only making sure we are on the same time.

Make sense?

And if she doesnt respond back in a reasonable amount of time (like 6 hours) then I make other plans. You have to realize that some people genuinely get busy so dont get all psycho acting guys. Remain cool and go from there.

But dont confuse CONFIRMING with WONDERING if she is going to show up. You are only putting a bandaid on your inability to properly gauge her interest correctly and you need to work on that.

@Glassguy been banging this chick for a while. Had a heated debate 3 weeks NC she reached out. Set a date for friday. Told me this morning. Dont bother coming over shes sick. My response will be no response. Shes testing the chit through me and i aint got time.for those immature games. She will get the message.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

It’s not about saving yourself the hassle, it’s about are you important enough for her to save the date.

If you confirm, you are initiating and the girl as an out. If you don’t confirm, she has to initiate to give herself an out. Makes a world of difference.

‘Hey Cindy, we are still good for Friday 7 pm?”
‘Oh yeah, is that tomorrow? Oh I completely forget. My sisters boyfriend is coming into town and we are having dinner with him and his friends. I’m so sorry!”

I would never ever confirm. You are wasting your time.

@Trump i didnt even need to.confirm she cancelled lol.. i feel so much better that i didnt reach out. Still feel alpha.. i didnt even respond to her cancellation message. Someone like that who is gonna lie just to screw with my head does not deserve a response lol

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

There is such a thing as too much alpha, aka ass hole behavior. I agree 100% with @Atom Smasher on this. It all stems from mindset. A man with value isn’t worried about his impressions by confirming. He’s more concerned about the value of his own time.

The man I’ve been dating confirms. He always has. It’s simple. He’ll say simply “ETA 7pm” or he’ll say “See you at 6:30”. Something very simple. He assumes I plan to see him because he knows he’s sought after and unwilling to waste HIS time. Typically he picks me up at mine too, which is a bit of a drive for him, so no way he’s headed over if I’m not planning to go.

At times his confirmation is simply “Leaving now” or “On my way”. I know how long it takes for him to make the drive...and I’ll always acknowledge his text. However I typically don’t confirm with him. I assume he’s a man, he made a date and he plans to show up. It’s been that way since we met more than 18 months ago.

Some women (myself included) do not chase after men. Some women respond rather than initiate. I’m one of those. I expect a man to make a move, make a decision, make a plan and follow through. That’s what masculine men do. There is nothing beta about that. I will be warm, receptive, encouraging and responsive every step along the way. If we have text banter I’m going to respond...if he goes radio silent I’m going to let him restart the convo., and I’ll respond. I’m observing his interest level as well as his leadership through his actions. And I will positively reinforce his assertiveness through my receptiveness which creates a positive feedback loop and also retains some sexual tension or erotic energy in the interaction. All good things.

I’ve always found it a sign of insecurity in a man to expect women to initiate and chase. That isn’t the natural feminine role. The man starts the interaction cascade because that’s what the man wants. The man sends a simple confirmation because HIS time has value. The man texts between or before dates because HE wants to. It’s not from a place of uncertainty but rather from a place of certainty.

If the woman isn’t responsive she disqualifies herself. Simple. This is what Atom Smasher is saying. Too many guys here put up with low interest level because they put up with one word responses, maybe responses, mixed signals, etc.

I may expect a man to show me his leadership...but you can bet your ass I’m going to respond timely and warmly. I’m going to respond in a way that shows I am interested. He’s not going to wonder.

Confirming a date is a perfectly masculine thing to do for your own self respect. Time is the most valuable thing any of us have.

Expecting the woman to lead in this way undercuts a man’s leadership and erodes his value. Be a man. Lead. That includes initiating & confirming in my view.