married men's advice, how to navigate these waters and attain something worthwhile?

[Newbee2]

is this just a hopeless project doomed before starting? or can one prepare, work towards this, where the juice is worth squeeze?

right now my thoughts gravitate towards, living my own life, acording to my wants and needs. without dragging around the deadweight of a female..

the only thing that keeps me in doubt, is that I like to have one kid, and enjoy senior and retirement years together with someone. An Almost impossible fairytale in todays world

there is a price to pay in both scenarios, and the buddhist say would be; if it happens, it happens.. everything happens for a reason, and if it don't happen there is a reason for this.

life is complicated, and nothing comes for free.. things takes hard work and sacrifice. I don't enjoy dating and small talk, I'm not limited by female validation, to progress.. only to achive the two goals as mentioned before. surrogacy would substitute the one goal, exept I belive healthy kids needs a nuclear family to thrive.

Side note; dating a single-mother some years ago, she said that I am very good with kids, and they still come and hug me everytime I meet them, even though I'm no longer a part of their lives. So I cannot be too bad.

Maybe I overthink things, and don't allow faith to occure, and it's too soon to make finale decisions now, but food for thought is helpful now, self improvement and analysis will not help selection on life path direction. Time will help, and long therm goals, in the meantime, just f**k it! I'm free to have fun..

 

[speed dawg]

I personally believe that all people have that longing for companionship. Men and women are made to compliment each other. Obviously, for many reasons (without getting into worldview and religion and all that), there are issues.

If you find a decent woman of which you are compatible, then the only person to blame is the guy in the mirror. Need to internalize the Red Pill.

 

[Newbee2]

I personally believe that all people have that longing for companionship. Men and women are made to compliment each other. Obviously, for many reasons (without getting into worldview and religion and all that), there are issues.

If you find a decent woman of which you are compatible, then the only person to blame is the guy in the mirror. Need to internalize the Red Pill.

Yes.. the red pill allow us to navigate dangerous waters, but it can also make people women h@ters, that's not the case here. We men have flaws, likewise do women.. red pill will teach warning signals, and unwanted natural behavior, so we can act upon these. People aren't perfect, and we all makes mistakes, wise people learn from their mistakes, others excuse their f-ups

Yes we complete each other, (if) we can find the right one. But it seems like an hopeless dream for me. I can get women, but I guess, I tend to get the wrong ones, and should learn something.. I don't like dating many different women, it feels like a waste of time, money and energy. But I have to do if I want to find one. The question is it worth the trouble / risks ? I know this is a natural urge to reproduce. Dam'd if I do, damed if I don't

 

[Dash Riprock]

My perspective:

I'm over 45. I was in a 9 year LTR and have been single for 3 years now. When I jumped back into the dating scene I found A LOT had changed. Far more women had kids (my dating range is 28-40), women had far more dating options now with all the apps, and the overall level of dating courtesy from women had eroded somewhat. I dated heavily for about 2 years, even working with a matchmaking service, had a number of online dating accounts, and met a couple organically. I dated maybe 60 different women over the last few years. Of all of them, ONE was worth my time and we dated off and on for about 5 month but couldn't make it stick. The rest I saw for maybe 1-4 dates each.

So now my attitude is the juice IS NOT worth the squeeze. I'm a business owner so I'm always thinking in terms of ROI. The ROI from the amount of time, effort, and money you have to invest these days vs the actual payout you get, including sex from some of them, is just not worth it. I'm on a dating hiatus right now and just cannot seem to get motivated to even meet women right now because I know how much heavy lifting is involved for very limited results.

I'm focused on me, my health, my dog, and my business. If someone interesting pops up, great. I'll consider it. But it's not my focal point.

Good luck to you.

Dash

 

[Newbee2]

My perspective:

I'm over 45. I was in a 9 year LTR and have been single for 3 years now. When I jumped back into the dating scene I found A LOT had changed. Far more women had kids (my dating range is 28-40), women had far more dating options now with all the apps, and the overall level of dating courtesy from women had eroded somewhat. I dated heavily for about 2 years, even working with a matchmaking service, had a number of online dating accounts, and met a couple organically. I dated maybe 60 different women over the last few years. Of all of them, ONE was worth my time and we dated off and on for about 5 month but couldn't make it stick. The rest I saw for maybe 1-4 dates each.

So now my attitude is the juice IS NOT worth the squeeze. I'm a business owner so I'm always thinking in terms of ROI. The ROI from the amount of time, effort, and money you have to invest these days vs the actual payout you get, including sex from some of them, is just not worth it. I'm on a dating hiatus right now and just cannot seem to get motivated to even meet women right now because I know how much heavy lifting is involved for very limited results.

I'm focused on me, my health, my dog, and my business. If someone interesting pops up, great. I'll consider it. But it's not my focal point.

Good luck to you.

Dash

Yes that's the problem. ROI.. that's why I made a thread with options by country. The quality in the west is just too low for LTR.

A good article on this is;

What I’ve Learned About Women From My Long-Term Relationships – Return Of Kings

www.returnofkings.com

Borrowed quote;

The “village” that encourages monogamy is gone, obliterated. Here is a list of things that will never happen in the Current Year:
A mother telling her daughter to put more effort and focus into the quality of her marriage.
A sister telling a sister to fix her unhappiness by spending more time with her husband.
A friend telling her bestfreind that if she wants to keep her man, she should treat him better.

NO, what the mother, sister, and bestie will tell a woman is this: That man ain’t ****; you need to be out there finding a man that is prepared to give you what you want; find some rich dude and get his money; all you need is us girls and your sextoys.

All of western womanhood has bonded together to sabotage all functional relationships.

Meanwhile, guys are telling each other to “man up” and “do the right thing” "game" "improve" etc.

Sad to hear your story... but it is our reality today