Received feedback from woman I dated last week

[sangheilios]

I had posted a thread about this attractive latina milf I met through a mutual acquaintance that I had gone out with twice last week, whom I' have not been out with since.

Anyway, our mutual acquaintance asked her what she thought of how our date(s) went and how she felt about me.....so I finally received some feedback on this issue I seem to have with these women disappearing.

She said that she found me very attractive, she liked my height and thought I had a really nice body, smile, etc. She mentioned that she genuinely had a good time with me, that she thought I was funny, goal oriented, etc. So, to sum it up all of the qualities that I bring to the table she did in fact recognize and genuinely liked.

However, what I heard was a bit interesting and I'm not entirely sure how to address this. She mentioned to our mutual acquaintance that while she realized I was goal oriented and focused on making money, working on my school/career, hobbies, social life, etc. she felt that there wasn't a whole lot of room for much more. She also said that she felt whilst interacting with me that I didn't really want or need a woman in my life.

Most of the time I just assumed they disliked me but it was interesting to finally get some feedback as to why they dropped contact.

 

[sazc]

I'm reading you didn't make her tingle in her panties

 

[lamath]

I had posted a thread about this attractive latina milf I met through a mutual acquaintance that I had gone out with twice last week, whom I' have not been out with since.

Anyway, our mutual acquaintance asked her what she thought of how our date(s) went and how she felt about me.....so I finally received some feedback on this issue I seem to have with these women disappearing.

She said that she found me very attractive, she liked my height and thought I had a really nice body, smile, etc. She mentioned that she genuinely had a good time with me, that she thought I was funny, goal oriented, etc. So, to sum it up all of the qualities that I bring to the table she did in fact recognize and genuinely liked.

However, what I heard was a bit interesting and I'm not entirely sure how to address this. She mentioned to our mutual acquaintance that while she realized I was goal oriented and focused on making money, working on my school/career, hobbies, social life, etc. she felt that there wasn't a whole lot of room for much more. She also said that she felt whilst interacting with me that I didn't really want or need a woman in my life.

Most of the time I just assumed they disliked me but it was interesting to finally get some feedback as to why they dropped contact.

Im thinking she is saying in a subtle way that you might be a bit too self centered.

Thats fixable

 

[sangheilios]

Im thinking she is saying in a subtle way that you might be a bit too self centered.

Thats fixable

I'm hearing this through our mutual acquaintance and not directly from her. I personally perceived it to mean that she realized I had so many other things I had going on with my life and felt that she would be of secondary thought to me and not all that much of a priority. "I feel like he isn't looking for or want a woman".....he seems like he is focused on other things and doesn't seem like he wants a woman in his life right now.

 

[sangheilios]

I'm reading you didn't make her tingle in her panties

She already knew what I wanted to look like and the moment I first texted her she wanted to go out that evening within just a few messages being exchanged. She was touching me throughout the night, went out of her way to sit next to me, etc. The second date we went out on she actually tried to wrap her arm around my elbow when we were walking together.

 

[lamath]

I'm hearing this through our mutual acquaintance and not directly from her. I personally perceived it to mean that she realized I had so many other things I had going on with my life and felt that she would be of secondary thought to me and not all that much of a priority. "I feel like he isn't looking for or want a woman".....he seems like he is focused on other things but will never be with me/women.

This is only what she says, seriously women rarely say what they really mean. Those word are excuses not the truth.

This is only my opinion but i still think its like you did not give her any attention
And did not trigger her attraction.

 

[sangheilios]

This is only what she says, seriously women rarely say what they really mean. Those word are excuses not the truth.

This is only my opinion but i still think its like you did not give her any attention
And did not trigger her attraction.

The mutual acquaintance asked her if she found me attractive and she mentioned that she very much did, she specifically mentioned she liked I was tall, talked about my body/arms, smile, how I dressed, etc. Based on the conversation I had with the acquaintance, it seems like she probably felt that I just wasn't really all that into her and/or that she'd never be all that important to me. At the end of the first date she was already asking me if I wanted to go out again with her and telling me whens he was available, she completely initiated this without me asking at all.

Also, as I mentioned to the other poster on the second date when we were walking together into the bar/restaurant/lounge she wrapped her arm around my elbow and put her body against mine. I didn't initiate that and wasn't really expecting it so I just let her do it.

 

[lamath]

The mutual acquaintance asked her if she found me attractive and she mentioned that she very much did, she specifically mentioned she liked I was tall, talked about my body/arms, smile, how I dressed, etc. Based on the conversation I had with the acquaintance, it seems like she probably felt that I just wasn't really all that into her and/or that she'd never be all that important to me. At the end of the first date she was already asking me if I wanted to go out again with her and telling me whens he was available, she completely initiated this without me asking at all.

Also, as I mentioned to the other poster on the second date when we were walking together into the bar/restaurant/lounge she wrapped her arm around my elbow and put her body against mine. I didn't initiate that and wasn't really expecting it so I just let her do it.

Again i would not believe what she said.
Amd im 100% sure that the reason she gave is hiding something else.


Did you try to get things farther physically?
Im thinking that might be where it went wrong.

 

[sangheilios]

Again i would not believe what she said.
Amd im 100% sure that the reason she gave is hiding something else.


Did you try to get things farther physically?
Im thinking that might be where it went wrong.

We were spending time together on the patio outside talking for about an hour but she asked for me to bring her home early because she was feeling sick, so obviously I wasn't going to push for something physical at that time.

When I first picked her up she mentioned she wasn't feeling that well but that she still wanted to spend time with me.

 

[RickTheToad]

We were spending time together on the patio outside talking for about an hour but she asked for me to bring her home early because she was feeling sick, so obviously I wasn't going to push for something physical at that time.

When I first picked her up she mentioned she wasn't feeling that well but that she still wanted to spend time with me.

Here's where you fvcked you part two. She wasn't feeling well, so what you should had said is, oh, sorry to hear babe. We should take it easy for the night. Let's order in some food and watch a movie. Get some sushi, saki (or wine) and you're good to go.

As for what she said, bull sh!t. Actions, not words. Perhaps you weren't kinoing her enough. Maybe you were talking too much about yourself. Maybe you are arrogant. Maybe you gave her too many compliments. Who knows. Next lady, answer questions short and throw it back on her, then expand and dig deeper. You need to touch into her emotions to create that spark. Some people have it easier than others. If you run out of things to say, shut up and let her break the silence. It's awkward for the first few times, but you get used to it after multiple repetitions.

 

[sangheilios]

Here's where you fvcked you part two. She wasn't feeling well, so what you should had said is, oh, sorry to hear babe. We should take it easy for the night. Let's order in some food and watch a movie. Get some sushi, saki (or wine) and you're good to go.

As for what she said, bull sh!t. Actions, not words. Perhaps you weren't kinoing her enough. Maybe you were talking too much about yourself. Maybe you are arrogant. Maybe you gave her too many compliments. Who knows. Next lady, answer questions short and throw it back on her, then expand and dig deeper. You need to touch into her emotions to create that spark. Some people have it easier than others. If you run out of things to say, shut up and let her break the silence. It's awkward for the first few times, but you get used to it after multiple repetitions.

I have no idea, but as I had mentioned after the first date she was already asking me if I wanted to go out again and mentioned when she was free. If she really didn't have any interest at that point she wouldn't have done that and we wouldn't have gone out a second time.

On the second date, as I mentioned earlier in the thread, she wrapped her arm around my elbow when we were walking together and put her body against mine. I have no idea what happened, hell it could have been something that had nothing to do with this at all.

Again, I'm hearing all of this through the mutual acquaintance and not directly from her.

Edit: I've had women initiate kissing on the end of a first date and have them ghost on me out of the blue lol, it could be a million different things.

 

[RickTheToad]

I have no idea, but as I had mentioned after the first date she was already asking me if I wanted to go out again and mentioned when she was free. If she really didn't have any interest at that point she wouldn't have done that and we wouldn't have gone out a second time.

On the second date, as I mentioned earlier in the thread, she wrapped her arm around my elbow when we were walking together and put her body against mine. I have no idea what happened, hell it could have been something that had nothing to do with this at all.

Again, I'm hearing all of this through the mutual acquaintance and not directly from her.

Ladies change like the wind. Never agree to a second date on the 1st. Shows you have no options. Say, sure, let's set something up soon. Kiss her good night and be on your way. You should had found a place which was quiet and alone so you can fool around. I know, it's easy to play Monday night quarterback on Sunday's game. However, the more experience you have, the more this will become second nature. It just takes repetition and practice.

Whatever you do with this one, let it go. If she chases you, then you can set something up. NC and silence. If you see her with your friends, be happy, smiling and fun; but aloof like what you and her did had no effect on you. Remember, do the opposite and the ladies follow. It's weird, but if they like you, that is what works. More attention from the man, less interest from the lady.

 

[sangheilios]

Ladies change like the wind. Never agree to a second date on the 1st. Shows you have no options. Say, sure, let's set something up soon. Kiss her good night and be on your way. You should had found a place which was quiet and alone so you can fool around. I know, it's easy to play Monday night quarterback on Sunday's game. However, the more experience you have, the more this will become second nature. It just takes repetition and practice.

Whatever you do with this one, let it go. If she chases you, then you can set something up. NC and silence. If you see her with your friends, be happy, smiling and fun; but aloof like what you and her did had no effect on you. Remember, do the opposite and the ladies follow. It's weird, but if they like you, that is what works. More attention from the man, less interest from the lady.

At the end of the first date I had walked her to her car, she hugs me twice, says she had a really good time and asks if I'd want to go out again. I'm pretty honest, so I tell her that I also had a really good time and that I was interested in seeing her again and mention I'd text her later so we can set something up. Those weren't my exact words, as I'm obviously abbreviating the conversation. I don't think that is a huge deal, as I've had a woman tell me she had a really good time, that she wanted to see me again and that she was free the next afternoon. We ended up going out that next day.

I'm aware of the fact that women can change their mind like the wind, I just have a difficult time dealing with it, personally.

 

[sazc]

She already knew what I wanted to look like and the moment I first texted her she wanted to go out that evening within just a few messages being exchanged. She was touching me throughout the night, went out of her way to sit next to me, etc. The second date we went out on she actually tried to wrap her arm around my elbow when we were walking together.

But no third date? You didn't reciprocate?
You lack charisma?
You come if as self centered?
You come off as self-absorbed? Which is actually kind of what she alluded to by saying it didn't seem you needed a female in your life.
I'm not trying to be accusatory, just brainstorming at why she didn't want to go out a third time, why she ghosted you. You claim that she was interested in you, so I can only imagine that you didn't reciprocate the interest, otherwise her interest would have been held. Maybe she thought she was trying and you were giving her the cold shoulder? It must be in your vibe, because you claim mentally you have a different perspective, but apparently your vibe is giving off something else?

Interested women who feel reciprocation and attraction don't ghost. so either she wasn't interested, or she was interested but didn't feel like your reciprocating her interest, or she lost interest because you didn't hold her attraction, which may be as simple as when she got to know you she realized she wasn't attracted

 

[guru1000]

She initiated touching by grabbing your elbow, right? She invested physically. She then waited for you to invest physically (doesn’t matter if she was sick).

You didn’t.

It’s a dance where both parties have to invest. Same would apply if you went in for a kiss to show her you like her and she rejected. How would you feel?

This is how she felt.

These are little nuances that can break attraction. She justifies her felt rejection by the covert, “he’s got too many things going on in his life.”

Most guys likely slept with her by date two and she didn’t get reciprocation of even a kiss.

You think she rejected you, and she thinks you rejected her, but simply, she rejected herself.

Good looking guy game is a bit different as your outward value is playing on their insecurities. These women have to feel desired or they’re out.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This is not nearly as complicated as everybody thinks.

This is also one of those cases of not listening to what she says, but what she does.

If she WERE physically and emotionally attracted to you, she would have come up with plenty of reasons WHY.

But since she's NOT physically and emotionally attracted to you, she came up with plenty of reasons WHY.

The reasons WHY are never the real reasons.

The real reasons are always very SIMPLE:

She's not attracted to you. Your personalities didn't click.

The more you OVER-ANALYZE this by treating her words as truth, the more needlessly confused you'll make yourself.

She's not into you, find somebody that is.

 

[SoSuave666]

This is not nearly as complicated as everybody thinks.

This is also one of those cases of not listening to what she says, but what she does.

If she WERE physically and emotionally attracted to you, she would have come up with plenty of reasons WHY.

But since she's NOT physically and emotionally attracted to you, she came up with plenty of reasons WHY.

The reasons WHY are never the real reasons.

The real reasons are always very SIMPLE:

She's not attracted to you. Your personalities didn't click.

The more you OVER-ANALYZE this by treating her words as truth, the more needlessly confused you'll make yourself.

She's not into you, find somebody that is.

Correct. OP is delusional. Possibly on the autism spectrum.

 

[Spaz]

I kind of remember reading past threads by this OP, this sounds almost the same as the other one.

Kinda reminds me of BigDave.

Haven't seen any of Daves thread recently, maybe OP should read through his threads and find out what worked for him.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The reason she gave is BS. Women almost never directly explain why they aren't interested, even to a third party. Sometimes, they don't even know. Occasionally there is a hint in what they say, but not always. In this case the hint is probably that she didn't feel you were into her. The reason women do this is that they (generally) don't like rejecting people and hurting feelings so they come up with something that is less likely to be taken personally.

Here's my question to you, before I take a stab at what went wrong: We're you truly into her? Did you really find her sexy, and did you find her interesting as a person? Did you feel she was on even ground with you in terms of value? Did you find her intelligent, experienced, intriguing? The more honest you are in your answer to these questions, the more helpful my response will be. You might already guess what my response will be based on the questions I just asked.

 

[In2theGame]

She initiated touching by grabbing your elbow, right? She invested physically. She then waited for you to invest physically (doesn’t matter if she was sick).

You didn’t.

It’s a dance where both parties have to invest. Same would apply if you went in for a kiss to show her you like her and she rejected. How would you feel?

This is how she felt.

These are little nuances that can break attraction. She justifies her felt rejection by the covert, “he’s got too many things going on in his life.”

Most guys likely slept with her by date two and she didn’t get reciprocation of even a kiss.

You think she rejected you, and she thinks you rejected her, but simply, she rejected herself.

Good looking guy game is a bit different as your outward value is playing on their insecurities. These women have to feel desired or they’re out.

I was about to post something very similar. The way it came off to me was that she was touching him, telling him she finds him attractive, getting close to him etc. He failed to tell her he finds her sexy and how much she turns him on. Women love this and if done right, gets them aroused. Honestly I think she dipped out on him because behind the curtain of excuses from her, she didn't feel aroused or turned on and ultimately probably felt rejected.