Need advice :My girl attracted to best friend

[Johnjingle]

So I been dating a girl long distance for 1.5 yrs. she recently move to me. Long story short she has been very attacted to me, tells me she loves me, etc.

The other day my friend had a Get together and after leaving we were both drunk. In the uber on the way home I was asking her to hook my friend up with a friend of hers. Her reply really got to me.. she said he’s not her type , he’s more of “my type I find him attractive”. This really made me feel very insecure, not going to lie but I think I’m justified. I felt that she was attracted to him before we even went but that confirms
It. I find other women attractive but not enough to slip and say something to her- she must really like him

Is this bad enough of a sign to dump her

To be honest , growing up many women chose him over me. So I thought wow when we met she would of chose him instead of me. It very much bothers me.

I tried to ask her about it the next day in a non-chalant way , but she freaked out on me and was like “I’m not going to just go **** him! Why are you making such a big deal about it I just find him nice”. I wasn’t even making too big a deal of it and her reaction further makes me turned off.

 

[backseatjuan]

Is this bad enough of a sign to dump her

Yes

 

[Johnjingle]

Yes

Elaborate

 

[Spaz]

Just because she became ur girlfriend she stopped being a woman that doesn't have lustful thoughts?

If so, how does that work ?

Teach me more.

 

[highSpeed]

Just because she became ur girlfriend she stopped being a woman that doesn't have lustful thoughts?

If so, how does that work ?

Teach me more.

That's not the point, it's being disrespectful enough to actually say it to your face. How many times do you think he'd say "Hey, your girlfriend is hot, I'd hook her up with my friend but she definitely has the type of banging body I like." You might be thinking it but dam, that's cold to say it to you. I'd say she's either into the guy, sh*t testing him or both but either way, not a good sign. Respect is a big part of relationships and if she's comfortable blurting out "Hey, he's hot", I wonder what else is floating through that head. Definitely would have a tough time trusting her if it were me.

 

[Alvafe]

Just because she became ur girlfriend she stopped being a woman that doesn't have lustful thoughts?

If so, how does that work ?

Teach me more.

not only the disrepect, she even said she wouldn't help him get her friend, because he is her type, she flat out told him she would replace him, and in doing so its time to replace her first

 

[Spaz]

That's not the point, it's being disrespectful enough to actually say it to your face. How many times do you think he'd say "Hey, your girlfriend is hot, I'd hook her up with my friend but she definitely has the type of banging body I like." You might be thinking it but dam, that's cold to say it to you. I'd say she's either into the guy, sh*t testing him or both but either way, not a good sign. Respect is a big part of relationships and if she's comfortable blurting out "Hey, he's hot", I wonder what else is floating through that head. Definitely would have a tough time trusting her if it were me.

Disrespect only occurs if she said those words with his friend in attendance.

There's no disrespect here.

If my woman says the same thing, I'll say something ****y and then smirk at her.

 

[backseatjuan]

That's not the point, it's being disrespectful enough to actually say it to your face.

Long distance relationships are beta by definition. Beta males don't have relationships, they have contracts. I can guarantee you she did not seek that relationship, he begged her into it. Now the results of being beta.

It is not disrespectful, it is him being the replaceable guy, and her looking for an upgrade.

Elaborate

You're not in a relationship, you're in a contract with her, and she is not your girlfriend, she is merely with you right now.

 

[BJP1991]

I’ve witnessed a lot of relationships my friends had implode when the girl moves to be closer to them, when it started long distance.

Not that the same will happen here - just a trend I have noticed. Surely, it goes both ways with people staying together, but usually when you move to be closer to someone distance-wise you start to learn a lot more about them than you thought you knew (case in point, your post and what happened here).

Would probably bug me a bit, but the correct thing to do is to say something snarky back to her to put her in her place.

Seems like a bit of a **** test to me, actually.

 

[soulforge]

First of all.. Is this still a long distance relationship? If so... Then immediately EJECT or use her as a fuk buddy.

Dude I personally think if your freind was alone in the same room as your GF, your chick would suck every last drop of Jizz out of his ball sack.

I would drop her azz for that disrespect.

 

[17 shots]

Get rid of her. Too many women out here to be tolerating any kind of BS. She's socially inept, and lacks the awareness necessary to realize or acknowledge any wrong doing on her part. She shouldn't have said that to you period. It had nothing to do with what you asked. A smart woman would of kept that to herself. You don't need a stupid azz ho as a girlfriend

 

[soulforge]

Thats some red line chit she crossed over.


Seriously dude, she isn't a keeper.

She even behaved like a miserable cvnt when you mentioned it to her.

Drop her like a sack of spanners! I know I would.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Lot's of knee-jerk "dump her" responses which I totally disagree with.

You said you were both drunk. Alcohol can act as truth serum. Yes, maybe she finds him attractive. So what. Do you find other girls attractive? Probably. She shouldn't have blurted it out in front of you but let's partially blame it on the alcohol. If she really had bad intentions, she wouldn't have said anything at all and plotted how to cheat on you behind your back.

I'd chalk it up to a slip of the lip. Give her permission for being human.

I agree with @Spaz. I would have gotten really ****y and said something like, "You know, you two would make a cute couple. Make sure you invite me to the wedding! But don't expect a gift. I'm cheap. haha" and laughed it off. Or, "Hey, maybe (good looking friend) has a hot female friend. I've never swung before. Should we try it? It could be fun!" Basically act like it doesn't phase you in the least and promote your Abundance Mentality--this is always the backdrop anytime you have a gf or are in a LTR. You'll come across as a strong, confident, IDGAF "MAN" which she wants.

Just drop it like it never happened or you look weak, needy, and insecure--real (and the worst) turnoffs for women.

 

[highSpeed]

Disrespect only occurs if she said those words with his friend in attendance.

There's no disrespect here.

If my woman says the same thing, I'll say something ****y and then smirk at her.

Don't know man, most people aren't going to like you commenting very much on the hottness of other people. That's kind of one of those private thoughts or thoughts shared with the guys, not your significant other. Almost like you having lunch with your boss and saying, "man, those guys at the other table, they work for the company I dream of working for." Your boss would be like, "what the f*ck did he just say?"

Some thoughts man, you keep to yourself.

 

[highSpeed]

Long distance relationships are beta by definition. Beta males don't have relationships, they have contracts. I can guarantee you she did not seek that relationship, he begged her into it. Now the results of being beta.

It is not disrespectful, it is him being the replaceable guy, and her looking for an upgrade.


You're not in a relationship, you're in a contract with her, and she is not your girlfriend, she is merely with you right now.

Well if some chick I was dating, long distance or otherwise, felt the need to start making comments about my friend's hotness, I think I'd replace myself out of her presence pretty quick. Right on with you though, long distance is bullsh*t.

 

[highSpeed]

Lot's of knee-jerk "dump her" responses which I totally disagree with.

You said you were both drunk. Alcohol can act as truth serum. Yes, maybe she finds him attractive. So what. Do you find other girls attractive? Probably. She shouldn't have blurted it out in front of you but let's partially blame it on the alcohol. If she really had bad intentions, she wouldn't have said anything at all and plotted how to cheat on you behind your back.

I'd chalk it up to a slip of the lip. Give her permission for being human.

I agree with @Spaz. I would have gotten really ****y and said something like, "You know, you two would make a cute couple. Make sure you invite me to the wedding! But don't expect a gift. I'm cheap. haha" and laughed it off. Or, "Hey, maybe (good looking friend) has a hot female friend. I've never swung before. Should we try it? It could be fun!" Basically act like it doesn't phase you in the least and promote your Abundance Mentality--this is always the backdrop anytime you have a gf or are in a LTR. You'll come across as a strong, confident, IDGAF "MAN" which she wants.

Just drop it like it never happened or you look weak, needy, and insecure--real (and the worst) turnoffs for women.

I agree, it's not that you want to have a hissy fit and make it seem like you are insecure. Playing it off like it is nothing is the exact right way to handle it in the moment.

That being said, I'm not sure I would consider her serious relationship material. Remember, alcohol only lowers inhibitions. So those thoughts are already there, the alcohol simply gave her the confidence/lack of control to actually say what she was thinking.

What happens the next time say you aren't there and she's half in the bag and your friend is there. You assume he wouldn't do anything with her but what if he's half in the bag and she makes the first move? What if he's not the friend that you thought he was? What if you spend months, years thinking she's great and she's sleeping with your "friend?" Better yet, what if she ends up pregnant from him and she pretends like it's your kid? Happens all the time I bet.

No, I might consider her plate status but for me, no way, she's not relationship material.

Saw a horror story the other day, guy had 3 kids and was with this woman for almost 20 years. Turns out he was diagnosed with MS and MS sufferers are almost always not able to father kids. So he was with this woman for almost 20 years, thinking he had 3 boys and she was banging her ex the entire time but still told him it was his kids. Even after the diagnosis, she still held onto the fact that there were his kids, even in the face of him being sterile. She still held that the DNA tests that were court mandated were wrong and they were his kids.

No, you need to be as sure as you can be that the woman you are in a relationship with is as unassailable as possible. Nothing is perfect but here she is admitting right out in the open that she thinks he's hot. Whether you play it off or not, she's probably eye f*cked him on multiple occasions.

 

[zekko]

This is why I don't like dating women who drink.

 

[Spaz]

Don't know man, most people aren't going to like you commenting very much on the hottness of other people.

I have commented on various occasion about other women's sexy a$$ that I stumble across whilst walking with my woman. Then I would slap her a$$ and give her a smug smile.

She'll be so happy to receive that compliment.

 

[Mazer]

Your womans interest isn’t high enough. A woman with high interest would never say these things. I wouldn’t dump her but you better start working on your relationship. Sounds like she is getting too comfortable and it’s only a matter of time.

 

[17 shots]

Your womans interest isn’t high enough. A woman with high interest would never say these things

Exactly... and he's been talking to her for almost 2 years already, so all this maintain frame, smile it off, and play it cool advice is pointless to me. This isn't a chick he pulled at the bar 2 weeks ago.... he can ignore it all if he wants, but he's just delaying the inevitable

Lot's of knee-jerk "dump her" responses which I totally disagree with.

You said you were both drunk. Alcohol can act as truth serum. Yes, maybe she finds him attractive. So what. Do you find other girls attractive? Probably. She shouldn't have blurted it out in front of you but let's partially blame it on the alcohol. If she really had bad intentions, she wouldn't have said anything at all and plotted how to cheat on you behind your back.

I'd chalk it up to a slip of the lip. Give her permission for being human.

I agree with @Spaz. I would have gotten really ****y and said something like, "You know, you two would make a cute couple. Make sure you invite me to the wedding! But don't expect a gift. I'm cheap. haha" and laughed it off. Or, "Hey, maybe (good looking friend) has a hot female friend. I've never swung before. Should we try it? It could be fun!" Basically act like it doesn't phase you in the least and promote your Abundance Mentality--this is always the backdrop anytime you have a gf or are in a LTR. You'll come across as a strong, confident, IDGAF "MAN" which she wants.

Just drop it like it never happened or you look weak, needy, and insecure--real (and the worst) turnoffs for women.

You say "if she really had bad intentions, she wouldn't have said anything at all"... ok but you just said give her a pass for being drunk right? Which means you're assuming she didn't have it all together because of the alcholol right? So then how do you know it wasn't her drunken state that made her slip up and expose herself? She could of always had bad intentions she wanted to act on, and never PLANNED on saying anything. Her being drunk, could have ruined that master plan