Started dating an older women with kids

[LiveYourDream]

Also, what you text really isn't all that important.

You, like many men, are mistaken.

 

[sangheilios]

You, like many men, are mistaken.

I meant that in a more general sense, nothing I text is the issue, check out the examples and the screenshot I had given. That woman went out of her way to ask me out on a date just so she could ghost on me, how is that my fault? LOL

 

[sazc]

I meant that in a more general sense, nothing I text is the issue, check out the examples and the screenshot I had given. That woman went out of her way to ask me out on a date just so she could ghost on me, how is that my fault? LOL

Example
A few months ago I went in a few dates with a local pediatrician. In the end I felt he was gruff, brash and judgemental so I let things die. Recently I found myself in a bind for some anti nausea medication for my kids (anti car sick) so I reached out to him to see if the expired stuff I had would be okay. He offered to write me a new script. I was grateful, offered to take him to dinner, he said "yes!". Figured I would see if things maybe could work.

I have been reaching out over text for the past few days, initiating over random topics, just trying to get casual conversation/contact going. Hoping (once again) to connect.

Guess what? He's been gruff, brash and judgemental. I'm thinking he doesn't realize how he comes across over text, OR he is "IDGAF, this is who I am".

I now find myself wondering WHY I want to spend any time with him. Seems like it would be more enjoyable, less stressful, to stay home alone. It's not the $ I would spend on dinner, it's the idea that I'm going to spend time with someone who's company isn't enjoyable.

I initiated, proposed a date and, because if the way he comes off, am considering ghosting.

Beware the text and verbal game

 

[LiveYourDream]

I meant that in a more general sense, nothing I text is the issue, check out the examples and the screenshot I had given. That woman went out of her way to ask me out on a date just so she could ghost on me, how is that my fault? LOL

Are you here to be right and/or justify your experience?? Or to learn and grow and get results??

With all due respect, until you resolve that and are willing to give up the one for the other, you are wasting everyone’s time here, imho.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Are you here to be right and/or justify your experience?? Or to learn and grow and get results??

With all due respect, until you resolve that and are willing to give up the one for the other, you are wasting everyone’s time here, imho.

Imho, like Bigdave, until you @sangheilios handle/re-align your insides, 3000+ posts of direction won’t be of any meaningful help.

 

[corrector]

No catch 22 at all.

Spinning plates is an ACT which creates a vibe.

One can create a vibe without the act, although here we preach vice versa.

One can CHOOSE to think differently.

One can CHOOSE to change his/her intent which will influence his/her thinking.

Both of these CHOICES operate independently of (nor do they rely on) the ACT.

It begins with the Intent though. What is your intent?

You are kidding right? The OP can not spin plates if women are ghosting him. Like I said catch-22. Unlike BigDave he is not even holding out but is dealing with anyone.

 

[corrector]

I'm a darker caucasian, a lot of people think I'm spanish or Italian.

Can we see a pic of how you look like? I am trying to pin something on your looks for lack of success but you are checking out so far. We need to see your face.

 

[corrector]

I meant that in a more general sense, nothing I text is the issue, check out the examples and the screenshot I had given. That woman went out of her way to ask me out on a date just so she could ghost on me, how is that my fault? LOL

Treat this women ghosting thing as a fact of life and it wont bother you. Dont have any expectations if it is under 3 dates. These women act on their feelings and they may be into you one day but forget about you the next with no explanation at all.

 

[sangheilios]

Are you here to be right and/or justify your experience?? Or to learn and grow and get results??

With all due respect, until you resolve that and are willing to give up the one for the other, you are wasting everyone’s time here, imho.

I'm talking about previous experiences that I know were not my fault at all, I just by chance encounter women that are bat**** crazy and inconsiderate. I'm repeating myself because I feel like everyone seems to act as if it is my fault that these women are doing all these things when I'm not even doing anything in the first place. They are the ones asking me out, initiating kisses and physical contact and much more yet they are also the ones ghosting.

I'm not being overly physical on first dates, blowing up their phones with text messages or phone calls. For example, if I was on a first date and I tried shoving my tongue down a woman's throat I could understand why she wouldn't like that. I'm not doing stuff like that.

 

[sangheilios]

Can we see a pic of how you look like? I am trying to pin something on your looks for lack of success but you are checking out so far. We need to see your face.

Trust me, it's not my looks that is the issue. I'm 6'4", broad shouldered, fit and a good looking dude. Women don't like that in a man lol.

I've already posted about that on this forum, other people on here were also stumped by that.

 

[sangheilios]

Treat this women ghosting thing as a fact of life and it wont bother you. Dont have any expectations if it is under 3 dates. These women act on their feelings and they may be into you one day but forget about you the next with no explanation at all.

I'm honestly considering not to bother anymore, the fact that this keeps happening for no reason says to me that I honestly need to throw in the towel, as it isn't good for my mental health or overall well being.

I keep saying this over and over.

I'm 6'4", I'm broad shouldered, I'm fit, I'm handsome, I'm educated, I'm going to physical therapy school next year. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have an alcohol problem. I don't have kids, tons of tattoos, odd piercings, weird colored hair, no criminal record, etc. I'm presentable with my attire, I have a good group of friends, I'm a good guy, etc. I have hobbies and interests.

The list goes on and on lol. Not much more I can possibly improve upon. How is that not good enough?

 

[LiveYourDream]

I'm talking about previous experiences that I know were not my fault at all, I just by chance encounter women that are bat**** crazy and inconsiderate. I'm repeating myself because I feel like everyone seems to act as if it is my fault that these women are doing all these things when I'm not even doing anything in the first place. They are the ones asking me out, initiating kisses and physical contact and much more yet they are also the ones ghosting.

I'm not being overly physical on first dates, blowing up their phones with text messages or phone calls. For example, if I was on a first date and I tried shoving my tongue down a woman's throat I could understand why she wouldn't like that. I'm not doing stuff like that.

I hear that 1000%. 1000%!!!!!
While you think I and others are missing all of that, you are mistaken.
I heard it clearly, in each of your posts.
I responded very specifically to you, based on what you shared, INCLUDING that aspect.
My response was not formed from oversight of the facts. It was VERY MUCH based upon them.

Others may see it different. I am offering what is most true and potentially helpful, as I see it.

I wish you nothing but the best.

 

[corrector]

I'm honestly considering not to bother anymore, the fact that this keeps happening for no reason says to me that I honestly need to throw in the towel, as it isn't good for my mental health or overall well being.

I keep saying this over and over.

I'm 6'4", I'm broad shouldered, I'm fit, I'm handsome, I'm educated, I'm going to physical therapy school next year. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have an alcohol problem. I don't have kids, tons of tattoos, odd piercings, weird colored hair, no criminal record, etc. I'm presentable with my attire, I have a good group of friends, I'm a good guy, etc. I have hobbies and interests.

The list goes on and on lol. Not much more I can possibly improve upon. How is that not good enough?

You are not programmed to give up. You will try again later. You just need a break.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I'm honestly considering not to bother anymore, the fact that this keeps happening for no reason says to me that I honestly need to throw in the towel, as it isn't good for my mental health or overall well being.

I keep saying this over and over.

I'm 6'4", I'm broad shouldered, I'm fit, I'm handsome, I'm educated, I'm going to physical therapy school next year. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have an alcohol problem. I don't have kids, tons of tattoos, odd piercings, weird colored hair, no criminal record, etc. I'm presentable with my attire, I have a good group of friends, I'm a good guy, etc. I have hobbies and interests.

The list goes on and on lol. Not much more I can possibly improve upon. How is that not good enough?

As long as you continue to fight and argue, in order to justify your current position you can never move beyond it. Ponder that deeply. You say you are smart. When you really “get it,” a whole world of possibilities will open to you.

That’s your homework, in my eyes. When you can comeback and explain it clearly, using yourself as an example, than there may be possibility.

First things first.

 

[sangheilios]

You are not programmed to give up. You will try again later. You just need a break.

I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not programmed to give up lol, but logically I realize that this continuous pattern with the women here is not healthy for me. It makes me want to punch a wall or dig out my eyeballs with spoons, that's how angry and frustrating these experiences I have are.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that I'm trying to piece together some common denominators. The locations where I meet these women are all vastly different (gym, grocery store, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, bank, etc.). The women themselves on an individual level are different but the one thing that they do have in common is the fact that they live where I am and grew up here, though their backgrounds were all a bit different.

Another poster mentioned it might be my area and the women that populate it, this is the only logical conclusion I can come up with. Again, they are the ones behaving psychotically, not me, so that's where the problem lies.

 

[LiveYourDream]

@sangheilios I sense your frustration. It’s beyond evident. Sometimes people have to hit the wall so to speak before they breakthrough it.

Know that I understand your frustration. I hear it loud and clear. Those who wish to help you feel frustrated too!

Only you can do the next step! Homework...

To be clear, I don’t mean post a bunch of words back that sound good. I mean really, truly, deeply get it and know it, from the inside out. There is a HUGE difference. They are clearly perceptible. If it takes you a week, a month, a year... what matters is you TRULY get it. You’ll know it when you do.

I guarantee you there is a whole world of possibilities, on the other side of that wall.

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios I sense your frustration. It’s beyond evident. Sometimes people have to hit the wall so to speak before they breakthrough it.

Know that I understand your frustration. I hear it loud and clear. Those who wish to help you feel frustrated too!

Only you can do the next step! Homework...

I guarantee you there is a whole world of possibilities, on the other side of the wall.

What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.

 

[LiveYourDream]

What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.

I am just one of many here. I offer based on what I see. Others may chime in and offer you another perspective that can lead you through, in a different way.

Take a break if you wish. Stepping away from an issue can sometimes offer greater perspective when you return to it. You may see it different then. Do what is ultimately best for you!

I don’t buy that anyone is destined to be alone for life. We are far more interconnected, in my perception. Perhaps your intuition was that your journey would be off the common path and led from the inside rather than the outside? That I can see. That is different than a life lived alone.

Take care of yourself.

 

[corrector]

I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not programmed to give up lol, but logically I realize that this continuous pattern with the women here is not healthy for me. It makes me want to punch a wall or dig out my eyeballs with spoons, that's how angry and frustrating these experiences I have are.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that I'm trying to piece together some common denominators. The locations where I meet these women are all vastly different (gym, grocery store, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, bank, etc.). The women themselves on an individual level are different but the one thing that they do have in common is the fact that they live where I am and grew up here, though their backgrounds were all a bit different.

Another poster mentioned it might be my area and the women that populate it, this is the only logical conclusion I can come up with. Again, they are the ones behaving psychotically, not me, so that's where the problem lies.

Did this happen more than three times in a row? Anything less than three consecutive times you can attribute to chance and next one lucky.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.

Losing strategy. You already identified that you socialize better with high iq types. That you bore "normal" people and "normal" people bore you. Maybe you could take a class or classes on socializing. Its all part of the game.