Waiter Hits on Wife

[Alvafe]

Its better to complain here. But only once. To continue complaining creates a cycle of self pity and it attracts more of the same situation that your not happy about. You take the power from those chump and simp situations from refusing to allow the position. You also refuse to give it energy or mindspace by stop talking about it.

You know how females love to complain about the shytty dudes they pick year after year? Its the same weakness.

that what I mean by insight, you learn something new and don't need to complain anymore because now you learned something you should do.

woman complain for the sake to complain, woman want to talk, so anything will do even if is something she already told you, even more if its something you do then she want to you not to do, and you can't ever take waht a woman say by face value, she says her last guys is sh!t so one of 2 she like sh!t, or she is lieing, take a guess.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

that what I mean by insight, you learn something new and don't need to complain anymore because now you learned something you should do.

woman complain for the sake to complain, woman want to talk, so anything will do even if is something she already told you, even more if its something you do then she want to you not to do, and you can't ever take waht a woman say by face value, she says her last guys is sh!t so one of 2 she like sh!t, or she is lieing, take a guess.

She likes that shyt

 

[Chi Town]

Ok first of all, forget about the waiter, it's not his fault, he doesn't owe you any loyalty you're gf does so forget about trying to amog him lol.

It's not about being jealous, it's about respect. You should of confronted her not come on a forum asking random strangers for advice, be a man and tell her you don't appreciate being disrespected like that, then you should of ended the little outing you guys had and distance yourself from her and make her work for you're attention.

Tell her you don't play that disrespectful sh!t and if it ever happens again she will be single faster than she can blink

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ok first of all, forget about the waiter, it's not his fault, he doesn't owe you any loyalty you're gf does so forget about trying to amog him lol.

It's not about being jealous, it's about respect. You should of confronted her not come on a forum asking random strangers for advice, be a man and tell her you don't appreciate being disrespected like that, then you should of ended the little outing you guys had and distance yourself from her and make her work for you're attention.

Tell her you don't play that disrespectful sh!t and if it ever happens again she will be single faster than she can blink

The way they play these scenarios you look like shyt for saying something and you look like shyt for not. Im not a tit for tat but believe doing a similar scenario in returm communicates that its a shytty thing to do. That or dump her. Females are doing these things enmass. They are talking and planning.

 

[Chi Town]

The way they play these scenarios you look like shyt for saying something and you look like shyt for not. Im not a tit for tat but believe doing a similar scenario in returm communicates that its a shytty thing to do. That or dump her. Females are doing these things enmass. They are talking and planning.

That's the thing bro, I could give a sh!t what I look like to her. That's the problem with these weak ass men, so worried about how they are going to look to someone else lol

I can't remember the last time I actually made a decision based on what someone else is going to think. I don't care how she perceives me, I see bullsh!t I call it out, hell she can go back and tell her mommy if she wants lol

Women use things like "oh you're being jealous" ECT as a ploy to get you to let her do what she wants. I have sisters so trust me I know how they run game.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's the thing bro, I could give a sh!t what I look like to her. That's the problem with these weak ass men, so worried about how they are going to look to someone else lol

I can't remember the last time I actually made a decision based on what someone else is going to think. I don't care how she perceives me, I see bullsh!t I call it out, hell she can go back and tell her mommy if she wants lol

Women use things like "oh you're being jealous" ECT as a ploy to get you to let her do what she wants. I have sisters so trust me I know how they run game.

Oh yea. That waiter game is to run your confidence down. How they put their azz in your face using a 3rd party triangulation.

Whats your strategy for teaching her a lesson and discouraging future attempts?

 

[Chi Town]

Oh by the way OP, Change the thread title to "Girlfriend hits on waiter" not the other way around, stop taking the responsibility off her

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Oh by the way OP, Change the thread title to "Girlfriend hits on waiter" not the other way around, stop taking the responsibility off her

Its done to frustrate him and to put herself over him. I know about all the "extra" they do.

 

[lamath]

Oh by the way OP, Change the thread title to "Girlfriend hits on waiter" not the other way around, stop taking the responsibility off her

+1
Pure gold

 

[btownbuck2012]

Your wife is a hoe man. She clearly doesn't give a damn what you think and is probably already cheating on you. If she hasn't yet, then she definitely will. I know that feeling you're describing. It's like "How can she get so mad at me for talking innocently to other women and then turn right around and flirt with a guy in front of me? Doesn't she know what she's doing?"

Yeah man, she knows. She just doesn't care. Probably is on the psychopath spectrum somewhere. Her conscious is probably underdeveloped. You said her parents weren't role models. Let me guess, cheating? Divorce? some type of abuse? I could be wrong, but I'll bet her parents fit that picture don't they?

The point is - you should have never married her. Women like this don't change. They need male attention to not feel empty. As soon as she gets it, she'll subconsciously resent that particular guy for liking her and then she'll be on to the next guy. You and your marriage to her are just a placeholder so that her life looks normal.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'm calling BS on this. Women play dumb, act sweet and innocent like they dont know their behaviour is sending out s3xual messsages, the truth is women know d@mn well when a guy is hitting on them and they are well aware that certain actions from them will lead a guy on.

The sickest of the sick will brazenly advertise this to you beforehand so as to make you feel bad for even THINKING something is wrong let alone suggesting it. "Ugh my last BF was so insecure. He said I was always talking to guys. lol what a insecure loser". It's like b*tch, you're trying to condition me to accept your hoe behavior by throwing that little nugget out there? The balls of these women man... I tell ya. Good info for the red pill man for screening purposes though.

 

[glass half full]

The sickest of the sick will brazenly advertise this to you beforehand so as to make you feel bad for even THINKING something is wrong let alone suggesting it. "Ugh my last BF was so insecure. He said I was always talking to guys. lol what a insecure loser". It's like b*tch, you're trying to condition me to accept your hoe behavior by throwing that little nugget out there? The balls of these women man... I tell ya. Good info for the red pill man for screening purposes though.

Yes I recognize that mental picture all too well...Hopefully OP takes the red pill, allows his beta training to cease and can learn to play it right.

 

[glass half full]

^^ True That.
+1

 

[btownbuck2012]

Well said, true of a lot of relationships

Yeah man. That's why I don't even care if I'm "relationship guy" anymore. I'd rather be the guy she hits up for casual sex.

 

[Sunnypoo]

Nope. You're not good at it. If you WERE good at it, you would have. When its time to alpha you don't worry about the other guy or your gal's feelings.

I totally agree. I have a strong sense of respect and a very hot temper. When that respect is violated I react and it isn't nice because I don't give a fack about what anybody thinks or their feelings (scorched earth policy). Too many men believe showing anger is showing weakness when anger is necessary. Do not ever let a woman try to control how you feel, you are far better off in a relationship when you show and voice how you feel. When you hide your feelings you undermine yourself and open the door to being facked with.

 

[kingvavy]

I totally agree. I have a strong sense of respect and a very hot temper. When that respect is violated I react and it isn't nice because I don't give a fack about what anybody thinks or their feelings (scorched earth policy). Too many men believe showing anger is showing weakness when anger is necessary. Do not ever let a woman try to control how you feel, you are far better off in a relationship when you show and voice how you feel. When you hide your feelings you undermine yourself and open the door to being facked with.

Showing anger is not showing weakness...lettting your anger dictate your actions is what is weakness. Anger is a good motivator...when you are in the driver’s seat, and in control of your anger. With most hot heads however (think road rage), once the switch gets flipped, you run the risk of heading to one of the following destinations: fired, back of a cop car, emergency room, or worst case, morgue. Blowing up at wife and waiter in this situation will not solve OP’s problem.

The solution is OP needs to sit wife down and tell her “would you be ok if I started flirting with other women in front of you, and asking them where they will be, or for their contact info?” If wife says she is ok with it, then OP needs to ask himself if he is ok being in an open marriage. If not, he needs to tell wife that he does not accept that kind of behaviour, and that the next time she pulls that kind of disrespectful B.S, he is going to take it as a sign that she is no longer interested in being his wife. Wife will either never do it again, or will continue to do it, at which point OP is free to remove himself from a toxic situation. Not sure what yelling at wife achieves...most men with anger issues are fake alphas who are yelling at themselves because they know, deep down, that they are betas. They are mad because they lack the confidence to take initiative and go after what they want. OP, if you want to be married to a loyal woman who treats you with respect, then start taking steps towards that goal.

 

[kingvavy]

So here I am. 4am, can't ****ing sleep because I don't know how to talk to her about this without coming across as jealous or controlling. I also feel disrespected

you feel disrespected, but you are more concerned about not appearing as “coming across as jealous or controlling...” What’s more important to you, “coming across as jealous or controlling”, or you feeling disrespected? Betas care more about what other people think of them then they do about how they actually feel about themselves. Alphas care more about making sure they are feeling good/respected, with little to no regard about how others see them. You want to be respected by your wife, yet you don’t respect yourself enough to tell her to stop or get out...start respecting yourself, and stop giving a **** about what other people think, and you may end up with a woman who actually respects you enough to not openly flirt with another man in front of you. Concern about being seen as jealous/controlling is classic blue pill thinking.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

you feel disrespected, but you are more concerned about not appearing as “coming across as jealous or controlling...” What’s more important to you, “coming across as jealous or controlling”, or you feeling disrespected? Betas care more about what other people think of them then they do about how they actually feel about themselves. Alphas care more about making sure they are feeling good/respected, with little to no regard about how others see them. You want to be respected by your wife, yet you don’t respect yourself enough to tell her to stop or get out...start respecting yourself, and stop giving a **** about what other people think, and you may end up with a woman who actually respects you enough to not openly flirt with another man in front of you. Concern about being seen as jealous/controlling is classic blue pill thinking.

How do you take care of this situation? It's a power move thats being done to men. I guess you could stand up and leave right back.

 

[Spaz]

You've dated her 4 years, you know she is a "flirt", yet you married her. THAT is the real problem, which, in my opinion, has everything to do with you.

My advice (and this is not for the weak hearted):

The next time you're out, and she starts flirting, stand up and say, "Our date is over. I'm going home." Then walk out, (without paying for your food or drink), get in your car, and drive home. Do not say a word to anyone explaining or defending or apologizing for your action.

If she follows you out, congrats. You just became a real man in her eyes. Expect her to be pissed angry etc. but say/explain/apologize for nothing.

If she doesn't follow you out, congrats. You just became a real man. Expect to feel confidence and strength.

The only masculine response in this entire thread.

 

[kingvavy]

The only masculine response in this entire thread.

Getting up and walking away without having a conversation first does little to solve the OP’s problem. The wife may very well be aware of what she’s doing, but at the same time she may just be an idiot who needs to be taught that such behaviours are unacceptable. He needs to have a conversation with her first before taking action...if, after talking to her, she chooses to do it again, then he can get up and walk away. Reacting dramatically without having a conversation first only creates unnecessary drama. Creating drama with no gain is a beta move.

If she chooses to do it again after being told not to, then OP gains confirmation that the wife does not respect him/is a game player/BPD/ hoe, etc., and can then walk away from the relationship. At that point wife may choose to take a more critical look at her behaviours and decide to change to avoid losing husband. Ball is now in OPs court, and he changes from Beta to Alpha. Relationship either changes for the better, or OP learns from his experiences and moves on a better man.