Another one gets fat and about to get dumped. Kinda sad about it.

[SkrooU]

Met this really sweet girl last year. This is the kinda girl that most guys on here call unicorns when it comes to how you want to be treated. Except... well she got fat.

I mean I’m really thinking I’m cursed. Why do all my women get fat on me?

I set a good example. Eat healthy. Stay active. And when I dump them they act so hurt about it and wonder why not being overweight is so important to me.

I really liked this one. But damn it hit me yesterday when I got back from a week long business trip that entailed working with a colleague who was was 125 lbs. I looked at my girlfriend take off her clothes when we got home and felt so disgusted that I just went out to the couch and fell asleep. She was about 140 lbs when I met her last year. She’s probably about 180 now and shows no signs of wanting to lose weight. Just now she wolfed down a big bowl of fruity pebbles after I made us a nice healthy dinner two hours ago.

She was telling me at dinner that she loves me to infinity and beyond and yada yada. Says I made her dream come true and her gramma would be so happy for her. Not sure what to say to her. I was thinking of trying to work this out. But I think she’ll just get fatter eventually.

Why don’t most women seem to understand how important and reasonable it is to not let yourself go?

Or am I totally unreasonable with this issue? I’ve always been naturally athletic but I do have to be careful or I’ll get a little belly that’s a ***** to get rid of. I have an aversion to even just a little fat on myself. But I a girl with an extra 25 lbs doesn’t bother me if it’s carried in the right places. But I have limits.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

180....? Most guys I know are 180-200. She must be tall. If she's eating junk straight after dinner, it's either comfort or boredom. Also most of the population is addicted to sugar in one form or another, at the moment. I purposefully don't have these things in my house, and rarely eat sweet things anyway.

Can you encourage gym or go running together. I've been fortunate that I've never been with a woman like this.

 

[soulforge]

Maybe encourage fitness and good clean eating.

She can have a couple of cheat days, but the rest must be clean with a solid routine of excercise.

Tell her about the importance of exercise and it should be part of her lifestyle.

If she ignores your advice and continues to pile on the weight, then I would consider dropping her.

I can't imagine anything worse than having to bang a fatty every other night.

 

[fanatic22]

You can’t change people. You might be able to guilt her into a fitness regiment but it’ll just make her feel bitterness towards you and she’ll eventually go back to her old ways. Go find someone that is obsessed with fitness if you don’t want to have this problem.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

There's almost always a mental or emotional element behind behaviours like lethargy and or over eating. It would be interesting to hear what the OP thinks that might be. Could well just be a simple case of complacency.

Rather than thinking purely about the obvious lifestyle factors, considering a possible root cause may be the first step towards a solution.

 

[lamath]

Ex was exactly like that was 135 when we started dating and she got over 200lb.
Since i left her she probably lost 30lb its sad that when in a relationship she cant be bothered to take care of herself.

I know its just temporary, once it sellte down she will start gaining weight again.

Motivation for loosing weight must come from herself, not much you can do there imo.

 

[Mazer]

You lead. Hey babe, I’m making some healthy food for us, let’s go for a walk, hit the gym. If she says no then I wouldn’t feel bad dumping her.

 

[marmel75]

You lead. Hey babe, I’m making some healthy food for us, let’s go for a walk, hit the gym. If she says no then I wouldn’t feel bad dumping her.

Passive aggressiveness at its best.
How about sitting down as a man and letting her know that part of finding her attractive is her being in shape and that if she cpntinues to gain weight you no longer will find her attractive and that you cannot be with someone you dont find attractive.

Why are so many guys afraid of having real conversations? You put your chips on the table and let her know where you stand. If she feels you are worth it she will change. If she doesn't she won't. Either way she knows the full extent of the consequences.

This passive aggressive sh!t is not the way to handle things as a man. Hinting at some stuff and then dumping them if they dont do what you hint at doing is silliness. Give them the opportunity to correct it with full knowledge of the consequences.

 

[lamath]

Passive aggressiveness at its best.
How about sitting down as a man and letting her know that part of finding her attractive is her being in shape and that if she cpntinues to gain weight you no longer will find her attractive and that you cannot be with someone you dont find attractive.

Why are so many guys afraid of having real conversations? You put your chips on the table and let her know where you stand. If she feels you are worth it she will change. If she doesn't she won't. Either way she knows the full extent of the consequences.

This passive aggressive sh!t is not the way to handle things as a man. Hinting at some stuff and then dumping them if they dont do what you hint at doing is silliness. Give them the opportunity to correct it with full knowledge of the consequences.

From my experience strait talk about weight never works to really motivate her.

 

[marmel75]

Met this really sweet girl last year. This is the kinda girl that most guys on here call unicorns when it comes to how you want to be treated. Except... well she got fat.

I mean I’m really thinking I’m cursed. Why do all my women get fat on me?

I set a good example. Eat healthy. Stay active. And when I dump them they act so hurt about it and wonder why not being overweight is so important to me.

I really liked this one. But damn it hit me yesterday when I got back from a week long business trip that entailed working with a colleague who was was 125 lbs. I looked at my girlfriend take off her clothes when we got home and felt so disgusted that I just went out to the couch and fell asleep. She was about 140 lbs when I met her last year. She’s probably about 180 now and shows no signs of wanting to lose weight. Just now she wolfed down a big bowl of fruity pebbles after I made us a nice healthy dinner two hours ago.

She was telling me at dinner that she loves me to infinity and beyond and yada yada. Says I made her dream come true and her gramma would be so happy for her. Not sure what to say to her. I was thinking of trying to work this out. But I think she’ll just get fatter eventually.

Why don’t most women seem to understand how important and reasonable it is to not let yourself go?

Or am I totally unreasonable with this issue? I’ve always been naturally athletic but I do have to be careful or I’ll get a little belly that’s a ***** to get rid of. I have an aversion to even just a little fat on myself. But I a girl with an extra 25 lbs doesn’t bother me if it’s carried in the right places. But I have limits.

Sit her down like a grown man and let her know that part of being with someone is finding them physically attractive and that the weight she has gained is making your attraction for her dry up. If you arent excited to see her naked and would rather her keep her clothes on that's a big problem. Do not let her give you sh!t about this. Physicsl attraction HAS to be therr for any relationship to last long term. Unless you want to end up with someone for 20 years because you just feel comfortable with them but havent been attracted to them for 15 years and have sex once a month or less. The same way you wouldn't date a woman you met online that showd up 45 and heavier to the first date than their pic why would a person expect you to continue dating someone who gained a ton of weight?

You let he know that is she continues to gain weoght that you cannot continue being with her as you will no longer find her attractive. You let her know you are willing to give her a chance to remedy the situation(if you are) and that you will help her in any way you can.

If she chooses to work on this then great. If not then she understands what the consequences will be, there is no gray area here. You spell it out for her.

This is called being honest and up front woth a person. She may not like what you say but she will at least respect you for saying it. Even if she decides that she would rather stay the way she is and have you dump her.

 

[marmel75]

From my experience strait talk about weight never works to really motivate her.

The goal isnt to motivate her. The goal is to be straight up and have an honest conversation.

There is little another person can do to motivate someone who doesn't want to do it themself.

 

[lamath]

The goal isnt to motivate her. The goal is to be straight up and have an honest conversation.

There is little another person can do to motivate someone who doesn't want to do it themself.

I agree strait foaward is best
When i did it things did not turn out good, but wtf she had gained like 80 lb, she seriously tought i was all.right with that.

 

[marmel75]

I agree strait foaward is best
When i did it things did not turn out good, but wtf she had gained like 80 lb, she seriously tought i was all.right with that.

The problem is that you waited until it was too late instead of having the conversation when you noticed she had gained 20 lbs and could have actually done something about it in a reasonable timeframe.

 

[Atom Smasher]

This kind of conversation has to be had early in the relationship. I had it with my current girl early on even though she is obviously naturally thin.

Women need to know that this is important to us and that it’s a dealbreaker if she lets herself go.

 

[SkrooU]

This kind of conversation has to be had early in the relationship. I had it with my current girl early on even though she is obviously naturally thin.

Women need to know that this is important to us and that it’s a dealbreaker if she lets herself go.

Yes! I did this. At first she wanted to go for long walks everyday. The time spent cut into my own workout routine so she suggested we go to the gym together. She went for one month and then began screwing off in the gym...you know sitting on the hip adductor machine and playing on her phone. Then she stopped going but insisted on keeping the membership.

She started gaining weight as the winter set in and she brought up her weight gain. I said let’s go for walks again. But she said it was too cold and dark. Then she wanted a Fitbit because I always talked about mine. So I got her one for Christmas. And she hasn’t done a damn thing since then but get fatter.

I had the conversation with her - hey you’ve passed my limits on how much I can accept for weight gain. I told you from the beginning I can’t help what I’m atttacted to and what I’m not. She hasn’t changed. It’s realky just a values thing. She’s tried to tell me she doesn’t care about a mans weight and wouldn’t care if I gained 100 lbs. Yet she takes pictures of me in my underwear walking around the room because she says my ass is so sexy. This is really annoying obviously. This is what women do. All of them eventually, if I don’t breakup with them for other crap first.

I’ve been really angry lately, and I know it’s because of this weight issue. She thinks it’s about something else. Totally clueless or in denial. I haven’t had sex with her for over 3 weeks because it will just make her think she can get away with getting fatter.

 

[sosousage]

only PAIN changes peoples hearts. cheat on her

 

[Alvafe]

can't do much if even you going to the gym she can't bother to join you, one thing I do when I go tot he gym is not taking my cell, I wouldn't have time to mess with it anyway, and its a good time to disconect a little to work out.

 

[soulforge]

Passive aggressiveness at its best.
How about sitting down as a man and letting her know that part of finding her attractive is her being in shape and that if she cpntinues to gain weight you no longer will find her attractive and that you cannot be with someone you dont find attractive.

Why are so many guys afraid of having real conversations? You put your chips on the table and let her know where you stand. If she feels you are worth it she will change. If she doesn't she won't. Either way she knows the full extent of the consequences.

This passive aggressive sh!t is not the way to handle things as a man. Hinting at some stuff and then dumping them if they dont do what you hint at doing is silliness. Give them the opportunity to correct it with full knowledge of the consequences.

I make it a thing to point out all the great benefits that are to be gained from regular excercise and good diet.

Physically and mentally it will improve her life, boost her confidence, even help with her career.

People who excercise regular are generally more energetic and focused people, and this Drive and energy can certainly help you do better in your job and get you that promotion.

Maybe watch this youtube video together with her.

 

[lizardking82]

This kind of conversation has to be had early in the relationship. I had it with my current girl early on even though she is obviously naturally thin.

Women need to know that this is important to us and that it’s a dealbreaker if she lets herself go.

Oh, they know. It's just that when they have doubts over the value of man or when they feel sure of the relationship...things like this happen.

 

[redskinsfan92]

You can't fix her. If she wanted to be healthy she would be showing effort at losing weight.