How to deal with sexual incompatibility

[js77]

We're dating for a year, I'm 32 she's 23. I always initiate sex, she never does and I feel unwanted, I don't feel sexually desired. I'm not ugly, I take care of myself, we talked about this, she said I'm faster to initiate. I asked her if she was cheating on me and having sex with other guys, she was upset and we almost had a fight.
But what in a world would I think? She never initiates! Everytime we have sex it feels like a chore, I'm tired of having a higher sex drive than hers. We talked about this a thousand times, she said I'm always complaining about her and she asked why I'm with her, because she's trying to please in every way but I'm too demanding and never satisfied with us.
Other issue, worst. She doesn't orgasm, I feel like a loser! I stopped talking about orgasm because I gave up. First time we discussed this I asked her if she had orgasm before, she said she had once with a guy in the past! I freaked out! We have sex, she's horny, she feels pleasure, always wet, I'not a bad lover because I do a lot of foreplay, oral, masturbate her, use sex toys, vanilla sex, rough sex, etc.
My girlfriend is on the pill, I know BC pills can affect her sex drive, my ex girlfriends had orgasm and I never felt like this loser before, even though some of them had a lower libido than mine. Actually, this issue of me always initiate I always had this issue in my previous relationships.
I dont know what to do anymore, I'm thinking about breaking up. This month is my birthday and I'm feeling so sad about my relationship. I love her, I'm crazy about her but all of this affects my self esteem and makes me feel very insecure. I'm thinking about don't initiate anymore to see what happens, if she does nothing i'm done, I dump her! Do you guys think she's cheating on me?
By the way, It's been a few months I'm in therapy though.
Any advice?

 

[LiveYourDream]

You will never be sexually satisfied with her! Let that sink in. You can either accept your sex life with her as it is or move on. Do NOT expect it to improve, in anyway! You are in the honeymoon phase. This is as good as it will get. With time it will likely decline even further from where it is.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Best for both of you, to face the truth straight on. You are simply not sexually compatible. Accept that! Appreciate what you have shared together this long and then exit. Then find yourself a partner/plate that likes sex and wants sex, at least as much as you do.

Staying longer will do nothing but drag out your misery.

 

[Mazer]

If the sex sucks now, it will still suck even more later. Find a girl who matches your sex drive.

 

[GrowingPains]

You don't.

My ex and I were sexually incompatible. Enough said.

Next.

 

[wifehunter]

Back off, see what happens.

 

[flowtheory]

It sounds like there’s a ton of pressure around sex in your relationship.
You’re being too demanding, not satisfied, she doesn’t orgasm and this bothers you. Dude, she’s not at ease and it’s created negative associations by the sounds of it

 

[Glassguy]

We're dating for a year, I'm 32 she's 23. I always initiate sex, she never does and I feel unwanted, I don't feel sexually desired. I'm not ugly, I take care of myself, we talked about this, she said I'm faster to initiate. I asked her if she was cheating on me and having sex with other guys, she was upset and we almost had a fight.
But what in a world would I think? She never initiates! Everytime we have sex it feels like a chore, I'm tired of having a higher sex drive than hers. We talked about this a thousand times, she said I'm always complaining about her and she asked why I'm with her, because she's trying to please in every way but I'm too demanding and never satisfied with us.
Other issue, worst. She doesn't orgasm, I feel like a loser! I stopped talking about orgasm because I gave up. First time we discussed this I asked her if she had orgasm before, she said she had once with a guy in the past! I freaked out! We have sex, she's horny, she feels pleasure, always wet, I'not a bad lover because I do a lot of foreplay, oral, masturbate her, use sex toys, vanilla sex, rough sex, etc.
My girlfriend is on the pill, I know BC pills can affect her sex drive, my ex girlfriends had orgasm and I never felt like this loser before, even though some of them had a lower libido than mine. Actually, this issue of me always initiate I always had this issue in my previous relationships.
I dont know what to do anymore, I'm thinking about breaking up. This month is my birthday and I'm feeling so sad about my relationship. I love her, I'm crazy about her but all of this affects my self esteem and makes me feel very insecure. I'm thinking about don't initiate anymore to see what happens, if she does nothing i'm done, I dump her! Do you guys think she's cheating on me?
By the way, It's been a few months I'm in therapy though.
Any advice?

You sound like an emotional, insecure fvcking woman. Why continue to talk about it?

Start hitting up new chicks and get ready to monkey branch from her. Start smashing some new @ss brother. Gaslight her and play the victim if you get caught. She should be taking care of YOUR needs enthusiastically or you bounce her @ss down the road.

Her: No pvssy for YOU tonight!
Me: No......No pvssy from YOU tonight!

 

[Dynamited]

It's not going to change. Same goes for girls who aren't naturally affectionate.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If the sex sucks now, it will still suck even more later. Find a girl who matches your sex drive.

Can he do anything to kick her into competition mode or to be crazy and do extra. Ie another woman? The good men here said in the sex business one of you will be confused. Let it be her.

 

[MatureDJ]

sexual incompatibility == not attracted to the person

 

[backseatjuan]

I'm in therapy though.

WTF??


Get out of therapy and other self perceived immobilizers. She is not attracted to you to the level high enough to initiate sex.

 

[highSpeed]

Can he do anything to kick her into competition mode or to be crazy and do extra. Ie another woman? The good men here said in the sex business one of you will be confused. Let it be her.

Couldn't imagine doing that my entire life. I'd say move on. If she wants to continue as f-buddies, so be it but from the way that the interactions around sex go for them, it's unlikely that would come to pass. so better off to move on then spend your entire adult life fighting about something you should be doing all the time and enjoying.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Couldn't imagine doing that my entire life. I'd say move on. If she wants to continue as f-buddies, so be it but from the way that the interactions around sex go for them, it's unlikely that would come to pass. so better off to move on then spend your entire adult life fighting about something you should be doing all the time and enjoying.

This is always the solution. Find someone who wants to do that with you.

 

[Solomon]

It will get worse OP much worse do you want me to post a link?

aww never mind if i post the link the mods would ban me but it will get super worse

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It will get worse OP much worse do you want me to post a link?

aww never mind if i post the link the mods would ban me but it will get super worse

Dude, If it's bad how worse?

 

[greatsnake]

sexual incompatibility == not attracted to the person

This is the bottom line

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is the bottom line

Desire. Can you cause desire? Can you cause someone to be more attracted?

 

[Sunnypoo]

Maybe your penis isn't big enough?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Maybe your penis isn't big enough?

He needs to stick with people where this isnt a problem.