“We have too much sex”

[flowtheory]

You do but you are in denial

I’ve looked in to NPD traits. She doesn’t really fit them all that much.

 

[flowtheory]

Here is how I try to function in a relationship with a woman and it has served me well over the years:

-Don't over think the stuff women tell you. It might be something different the next day.
-Just be your great self.
-Be fun, provide the good time, take good care of them, make them FEEL alive.
-Dress good, smell good, look sexy, have an edge to you, and act bold.
-Be a better man than all of the other men on the planet that she has ever experienced.
-If you like lots of sex, then have lots of sex. If she doesn't then she can adjust or leave.
-Man leads, woman follows.
-You set the tone and the pace.
-Never be afraid to lose them. Remind them that if it all ended tomorrow that you would be grateful for the nice time.

When you operate with this mindset, you put yourself in the drivers seat and she ends up being happier.

Don't ever get too serious with a girl that can't get enough of you. A girl that is super into you will never complain about too much sex. And when her pu$$y is too sore because you beat it up, she will tell you she has 2 other holes for your pleasure. True story!

So essentially; be perfect.

 

[flowtheory]

look at covert npd

Just read two pages from different websites. I don’t think she is. If she were, she wouldn’t have long conversations about building a healthy relationship, or empathize with me in different avenues of my own life.
I’m a highly empathetic and also sensitive person and would be able to spot someone who is more detached like a narcissist would be. Covert or otherwise.

She has stated she has a mood sensitivity and this can contribute to some things, but it’s more about me drawing boundaries on what’s acceotable there.
She also is insanely honest about things, maybe to fault, which is good and bad. That has taken some adjustment.
A lot of the issues I’ve dealt with, with her are more rooted in childhood issues or meeting her at the specific time in her life where she wasn’t fully over her ex. But since my big thread about her, things have changed quite extensively with her.

Like most women, she still tests and still challenges. But this is attributed to her personality type also. Someone who is highly smart, good listener and an aspiring lawyer. She’s an intense woman.

 

[glass half full]

look at covert npd

Yes this type can fool the hell out of you, and make you feel like it's you who has the problem.

 

[flowtheory]

Covert NPDs are often empaths or seen as such.

Lol if in fact she was what you suggest, she wouldn’t care much about me, go out of her way to do thoughtful things or be looking to cultivate a healthy relationship.

Don’t forget, she is someone who by the sounds of information obtained, has had poor relationships in her past and may believe that those types of relationships are normal.

 

[glass half full]

Lol if in fact she was what you suggest, she wouldn’t care much about me, go out of her way to do thoughtful things or be looking to cultivate a healthy relationship.

Don’t forget, she is someone who by the sounds of information obtained, has had poor relationships in her past and may believe that those types of relationships are normal.

Sorry, but at first they can be deceiving, until they get what they want- control of you. And, until you suspicion what she really is. Then it gets crazy. It depends on how much you can take, before you disconnect.
And this may last a while, like a year or two. Depends on how badly they "need" you in their life. For whatever reason.

 

[flowtheory]

Sorry, but at first they can be deceiving, until they get what they want- control of you. And, until you suspicion what she really is. Then it gets crazy. It depends on how much you can take, before you disconnect.
And this may last a while, like a year or two. Depends on how badly they "need" you in their life. For whatever reason.

It would take a lot of mental energy and strategy to deceive someone for a long period of time with a full work schedule; keeping the charade up just to gain control of someone.

I think people naturally want to have things their way. Men and women will both attempt to manipulate and control the relationship as it’s what feels safer for the individual. Many issues on this board are because they lost control, and many suggestions are ways to regain control of ones self and in turn the relationship. The fact is, a relationship is fluid and it’s constantly going back and forth between who is in control and who has less

Always create value and the other person will feel as if they need you in their life. Men deceive women constantly and then bail once they get what they need.

But it’s best, in my mind, not to perceive relationships as deceitful and potentially disconnecting. One, because it’s out of our control, and two it’s a waste. We have to invest in our own self and create what we want. That’s the only form of control we can actually have.

 

[allancc3]

Based on the frequency of your posts, this is definitely weighing heavily on your mind.

Take your mind off of it completely and focus on other things. Clearly, you have a strong emotional attachment to her, and it's weakening your ability to think about this situation clearly. The more you ponder the matter, the bigger it will appear and the more it will weigh on you. Do something else: work out, get work done, catch up with other friends. You'll come back to it and realize it's not a big deal. It's a situation you can work out with relative ease as long as you don't stress about it too much.

Is she a perfect woman? No. Is this the perfect situation for either of you? Of course not. But I've met a lot of couples who meet halfway (or somewhere in the middle) and are able to maintain a relationship for many years. Why do I reference others? Most people don't have a ton of options for dating. They invest heavily in one person and that typically means compromise.

So it depends. Are you heavily in demand? Do you attract a large number of women? Then this woman's concerns shouldn't concern you very much. Are you somewhere near average in attractiveness like most people are? Work with her and reach a compromise. Are you lower than average in attractiveness? You have limited leverage. You'll have to accommodate her or lose her, unless she is below average in the dating market as well.

I don't expect you to specify what your dating market status is, but a lot of these "games" and how stressful they are or not depends on how high status you are.

 

[flowtheory]

Based on the frequency of your posts, this is definitely weighing heavily on your mind.

Take your mind off of it completely and focus on other things. Clearly, you have a strong emotional attachment to her, and it's weakening your ability to think about this situation clearly. The more you ponder the matter, the bigger it will appear and the more it will weigh on you. Do something else: work out, get work done, catch up with other friends. You'll come back to it and realize it's not a big deal. It's a situation you can work out with relative ease as long as you don't stress about it too much.

Is she a perfect woman? No. Is this the perfect situation for either of you? Of course not. But I've met a lot of couples who meet halfway (or somewhere in the middle) and are able to maintain a relationship for many years. Why do I reference others? Most people don't have a ton of options for dating. They invest heavily in one person and that typically means compromise.

So it depends. Are you heavily in demand? Do you attract a large number of women? Then this woman's concerns shouldn't concern you very much. Are you somewhere near average in attractiveness like most people are? Work with her and reach a compromise. Are you lower than average in attractiveness? You have limited leverage. You'll have to accommodate her or lose her, unless she is below average in the dating market as well.

I don't expect you to specify what your dating market status is, but a lot of these "games" and how stressful they are or not depends on how high status you are.

I am invested heavily, yes.

The frequency of my posts are more-so me taking initiative to learn. In the past I have had a more carefree attitude in dating, because I didn’t know all the games and such existed.

But since discovering red pill and SoSuave and many other information sources I’ve become very fastidious about my interactions. And since I’ve been going out with this woman I’ve been more scrupulous in the realm of what to do with a woman and interpreting her behaviours; maybe to a fault, caring too much.
I have a slightly obsessive personality which can often times work against me. So as I delve deeper with my girlfriend I’m really just looking in to what some things might mean, if anything at all. But there are some points in your post about maybe seeing something, where there is nothing.

It’s all more just food for thought, so I can be a better man at the end of the day, and lose some emotional ways when dealing with my current girlfriend.

 

[Tilex]

Sounds like a sh!t test that needs to be ignored, dismissed, and discarded.
Saying "we have too much sex" is like saying "we have too much money"

 

[flowtheory]

Sounds like a sh!t test that needs to be ignored, dismissed, and discarded.
Saying "we have too much sex" is like saying "we have too much money"

Haha this is what it sounded like to me initially. And I responded the first go around with “this is the best relationship problem to have, could be much worse”. Yet she’s always receptive at times. She plays a bit hard to get but always gives in.

What is the test here exactly?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Haha this is what it sounded like to me initially. And I responded the first go around with “this is the best relationship problem to have, could be much worse”. Yet she’s always receptive at times. She plays a bit hard to get but always gives in.

What is the test here exactly?

Keep your mouth shut, keep hitting it.

 

[Sunnypoo]

I say let her do the initiating this weekend. See how much she wants to do it and let us know about it, we talk about it again when you tell us what happened.

Stole my thunder. This is a good tactic that will avoid her from turning tables and arguing. It will also give you an idea of what she's thinking, for example she may want to actually do something with you instead of just do you. Look for her to want both.

 

[allancc3]

Focus on actions, not words.

Having said that, would not be a bad idea to start recruiting a side piece sooner rather than later.

 

[EyeBRollin]

This means your calibration is too much towards sex and she’s feeling like a piece of meat. You need more beta throws and courting. She’s getting bored, better heed the warning.

 

[lizardking82]

This means your calibration is too much towards sex and she’s feeling like a piece of meat. You need more beta throws and courting. She’s getting bored, better heed the warning.

Not necessarily. It depends what the situation is. Maybe he doesn't wanna give her much non-sexual attention/time because this is maybe a more sexual situation for him (for the moment or he doesn't see more than that at all).

 

[BeExcellent]

Balance sex and other stuff more.

She is experiencing euphoria of being in love through the intensity of your sexual connection. She is daydreaming about you...her lover. This is good!

When I’m into someone I never turn sex down & the more the better. But I also get plenty of hang out time & companionship time together too. The companionship and the sex enhance each other.

People who say the honeymoon phase is the best time sexually in a relationship have never enjoyed the depth of a relationship where as things evolve & deepen the sexual bond & sexual experience deepens and becomes better & more meaningful over time. You can be with someone for decades and still have the hots for them and still have raw desire. It will ebb and flow some through time but you can develop intimacy interlaced with desire that will smolder and ignite in ways you simply won’t have with a less well known partner.

If you guys are having lots of sex and enjoying that aspect then keep doing as you are doing and add some more companionship geared activities.

In the best relationships you are lovers first and then also best friends. Even once children arrive the priority is: lover, friend, partner, parent. Those are the relationships that are built to last...

Now go have sex!

 

[flowtheory]

This means your calibration is too much towards sex and she’s feeling like a piece of meat. You need more beta throws and courting. She’s getting bored, better heed the warning.

I think you’re half correct here. I am all over her. She doesn’t turn me down; but at times she’ll play hard to get, but when I touch her she’s already super wet, so clearly likes what I’m doing.
We don’t lack in experiences or outings; we go to music shows, dinner, do yoga, cook together, walks, hikes, meet up for a tea, etc.
I think because we are limited to mostly weekends, she wants to utilize that time together outside of the house a touch more but still with lots of sex. When we talked about it on the weekend she said 15% less. And I jokingly said ‘yea I agree 15% more for sure’.
So I will let the tension build a touch more by backing off a bit. It’s like once i get sex and it’s good and connected it makes me so much more horny. Couple that with all the love emotions and it’s really difficult to get a hold of myself.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Believe it or not, too much sex can hurt attraction. Too much of anything does. Next time you’re with her, let her initiate everything. Act like you don’t want it. She’ll probably jump your bones.

 

[flowtheory]

Balance sex and other stuff more.

She is experiencing euphoria of being in love through the intensity of your sexual connection. She is daydreaming about you...her lover. This is good!

When I’m into someone I never turn sex down & the more the better. But I also get plenty of hang out time & companionship time together too. The companionship and the sex enhance each other.

People who say the honeymoon phase is the best time sexually in a relationship have never enjoyed the depth of a relationship where as things evolve & deepen the sexual bond & sexual experience deepens and becomes better & more meaningful over time. You can be with someone for decades and still have the hots for them and still have raw desire. It will ebb and flow some through time but you can develop intimacy interlaced with desire that will smolder and ignite in ways you simply won’t have with a less well known partner.

If you guys are having lots of sex and enjoying that aspect then keep doing as you are doing and add some more companionship geared activities.

In the best relationships you are lovers first and then also best friends. Even once children arrive the priority is: lover, friend, partner, parent. Those are the relationships that are built to last...

Now go have sex!

Yea I’ll try to dial it back a touch in terms of the sex, and we can do more activities outside.

She’s in love with me? Is that what you mean?

It was kind of funny on Monday. We were standing on my porch before she left and She was like ‘I feel high, too much sex.’ And I was like ‘Are you addicted to me?’ And she said ‘yeah. I do think so. So many brain chemicals can never focus. I don’t know what that means for stability in my life or what it will look like’ then I said ‘yea. I think we’re feeling the same thing’.
She had a somewhat of a shocked and then made a kind of scared face in a playful way and jumped off my porch then ran down the street. As she was running away I was like ‘yep. Okay! Cyaa!’ Was pretty cute