So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[corrector]

she responded so that's a good sign. The fact she just got out of a relationship this week, what does that mean for me? Do women bounce so quickly from relationship to relationship? I know I gotta start it very casually and I'm in no hurry

Yeah, while the other guy is probably going to wait another 10-20 years for another girl to take him on. What you think she dated a Chad or Chadlite who also is in another relationship with another woman too? Would it matter to you seeing you could potentially be that other guy with her too? How would you feel if she moved on too quickly? You are giving her power and letting her use you by taking her on. Men are probably disposable to her. You are stroking her over-inflated ego BigDave.

Just at least make sure her ex is not some poor incel loner that got condemned to another 10 years of inceldom.

she's 29 and middle eastern, so I'm sure her whole family is asking why she's not already married

....or why she is seeing so many men.

 

[zekko]

I have to agree with those who told you not to chit chat by text too much. You drove the last woman away by chatting with her too much. Talk to her in person when you get her out.

 

[RickTheToad]

Funny story. I was at a happy hour not to long ago and two ladies were chatting about bumble and tinder; mid 20's. One, they didn't know tinder was a hookup app. Two, they didn't understand why I dude would chat them up, but never ask them out. I thought when people talked about that here that it was a fallacy. I was surprised. I just called them balless wonders to both of them, and told them you can only find the worst of the worst on OLD. I think OLD has made the ladies more masculine and the men more feminine.

 

[sosousage]

So what were your initial words when u approached her?

 

[bigdave17]

Hey guys I need your expert advice. I started texting her yesterday at 11 am. Very casual/light stuff asking her what she had planned for today (she had some bday party to go to). She asked me what im doing and i just said I'm working out and then seeing my folks. She told me I'm lucky and that her parents were back in AZ. She was responding instantly to me. She texted me at 1 and then i responded back at 3 cause I was working out. I just asked here if she enjoyed living in Illinois (she moved here couple years ago)

That was yesterday at 3. She hasn't responded back. Is this a dead lead? Should i text her to ask for a date anyways in couple days?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Even though you almost always ignore what I write here to you, out of the kindness of my heart, I will tell you what happened and what you should do.

You made the mistake of having a mundane conversation with her via text. You literally became just like one of her girlfriends. They are the ones who do the casual/light "what are you doing today?" stuff.

You became common, no different from her friends. You showed her point-blank that you are interested in her and pursuing her.

You should have held her at arm's length and used text only for setting up a date. That's how it should be this early in the game. This is the only way to create mystery and uncertainty in a woman.

Will a woman sit through a movie when she knows the ending? Of course not. There is no more emotional tension during the movie because she already knows the outcome. Women want a man who tests her to see if she is suitable for him.

The only way to salvage is to tell her "Hey, I'm doing XYZ on [whatever day]. I'd like you to accompany me." or something similar. This way you put an end to speculation. If she says no or ghosts, she is not interested and you move on. If she says yes, than great, but either way is great because all speculation and guessing has ceased.

 

[bigdave17]

Even though you almost always ignore what I write here to you, out of the kindness of my heart, I will tell you what happened and what you should do.

You made the mistake of having a mundane conversation with her via text. You literally became just like one of her girlfriends. They are the ones who do the casual/light "what are you doing today?" stuff.

You became common, no different from her friends. You showed her point-blank that you are interested in her and pursuing her.

You should have held her at arm's length and used text only for setting up a date. That's how it should be this early in the game. This is the only way to create mystery and uncertainty in a woman.

Will a woman sit through a movie when she knows the ending? Of course not. There is no more emotional tension during the movie because she already knows the outcome. Women want a man who tests her to see if she is suitable for him.

The only way to salvage is to tell her "Hey, I'm doing XYZ on [whatever day]. I'd like you to accompany me." or something similar. This way you put an end to speculation. If she says no or ghosts, she is not interested and you move on. If she says yes, than great, but either way is great because all speculation and guessing has ceased.

A lot of people online tell me its a good idea to build a little rapport via text.

I was gonna ask for the date immediately after that. I wasn't gonna keep texting her for days

You really think its good to ask for a date the first text after you get number?

 

[LiveYourDream]

So many attraction killers already! Stop!

Do not reach out to her!!! Wait!!

When she reaches out, do NOT get chit chatty again!! Not at all! Straight away tell her you are busy but you would like to see her. Immediately invite her to join you, as Atom Smasher instructed.

 

[guru1000]

A lot of people online tell me its a good idea to build a little rapport via text.

Yes you can text IF you were a seasoned vet. Most newbies put their foot in their mouth so newbies are advised not to text and text only to schedule dates.

As to why she ghosted when you asked how she enjoyed living in Illinois? Simply put, it's a low value question. A text this early in the game is supposed to encapsulate her emotions and have her lol lol all over the place while demonstrating higher value. Your text was more of a," I really don't have much social acuity and am a boring low value dude with little social life, so uh, how is Illinois???"

Just stay away from texting until you get more seasoned. The perfect exchange (for YOU right now) would go like this:

Dave: Hi, it's Dave from XYZ, how are you?

Her: I'm good, bla bla bla , you?

<a few hours later>

Dave: I'm great. It was nice meeting you the other night and I had a lot of fun. Lets do it again, this Thursday 8pm at XYZ. Can you meet me there?

Anything other than a yes or counteroffer, S&D her. Simple.

Stick to the basics for now. Your text game will transpose over time.

 

[RickTheToad]

I sometimes think Dave likes to sabotage his chances by doing stupid sh!t above. I waive the white flag. Does everything we tell him not to do.

 

[corrector]

Hey guys I need your expert advice. I started texting her yesterday at 11 am. Very casual/light stuff asking her what she had planned for today (she had some bday party to go to). She asked me what im doing and i just said I'm working out and then seeing my folks. She told me I'm lucky and that her parents were back in AZ. She was responding instantly to me. She texted me at 1 and then i responded back at 3 cause I was working out. I just asked here if she enjoyed living in Illinois (she moved here couple years ago)

That was yesterday at 3. She hasn't responded back. Is this a dead lead? Should i text her to ask for a date anyways in couple days?

I guess she doesn't enjoy living in Illinois. Ask her if she would prefer to live in Australia instead in a follow up text. Next time, focus on nice fuzzy warm areas in the world. Complain about the weather and ask her if she would like to visit Mexico together with you or something like that. Put a spin on this and see if she takes the bait.

 

[bigdave17]

Yes you can text IF you were a seasoned vet. Most newbies put their foot in their mouth so newbies are advised not to text and text only to schedule dates.

As to why she ghosted when you asked how she enjoyed living in Illinois? Simply put, it's a low value question. A text this early in the game is supposed to encapsulate her emotions and have her lol lol all over the place while demonstrating higher value. Your text was more of a," I really don't have much social acuity and am a boring low value dude with little social life, so uh, how is Illinois???"

Just stay away from texting until you get more seasoned. The perfect exchange (for YOU right now) would go like this:

Dave: Hi, it's Dave from XYZ, how are you?

Her: I'm good, bla bla bla , you?

<a few hours later>

Dave: I'm great. It was nice meeting you the other night and I had a lot of fun. Lets do it again, this Thursday 8pm at XYZ. Can you meet me there?

Anything other than a yes or counteroffer, S&D her. Simple.

Stick to the basics for now. Your text game will transpose over time.

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

All this shyte about how to text individual people is utterly useless.

Talk to hundreds girls, get hundreds of numbers, send hundreds of texts, and try out a bunch of different things.

After a few years, you'll not be asking such silly questions.

You're like a second grader in little league who wants to have an extended conversation with this coach after every single pitch.

Jesus.

 

[guru1000]

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

She ghosted you. I would drop her but you and I operate on different levels of abundance. You'll get to abundance eventually--IF you keep trying.

Wait a week. Waiting a week serves as a reset button. Then, open her with something you guys chatted about that was funny to prompt her response. Wait a couple hours, and then invite her to the date. You have about a 20% chance of turnaround with this one week S&D, dip into past rapport, and invite.

 

[LiveYourDream]

A lot of people online tell me its a good idea to build a little rapport via text.

I was gonna ask for the date immediately after that. I wasn't gonna keep texting her for days

You really think its good to ask for a date the first text after you get number?

This wasn’t a woman you connected with via OLD and had never met. You had already met her in person. She left the bar Sun night happy that you had asked for her number. She was already expecting you to reach out to her, later in the week, to ask her out.

Reaching out 11:00 AM the morning after you met...Seriously!! Talk about over eager. That gives new meaning.

Timing is important. Holding back a bit allows a woman to think about you, wonder and anticipate. That builds attraction.

To maximize your potential to turn it around, I suggest you do not contact her, at least not this week.

She needs time to reconsider attraction for you and have it build again. When/if it peaks enough she will reach out.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

Small talk in person = Good.
Small talk via text = Relationship Killer.

You have nothing to lose now. Wait till tomorrow and then fire out a statement that you'd like her to join you for XYZ.

At this point texting should be used extremely sparingly. It's best to use it just for setting up dates (in other words, practical plans). When a man texts small talk, he seems like he's idle with nothing important to do. She knows she is that way and so are her friends. She wants you to be above her, someone who does important things, someone she can look up to.

In fact, they LOVE wondering what you're doing. That is huge for women. When you're having a text conversation with her, all that exciting wondering goes out the window. Be scarce, man. Scarcity attracts, and being common repels when it comes to women.

 

[corrector]

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

You don't get it. This is how it typically goes. You can have a 100% amazing time, perfect in person chemistry and then the girl is gone. Most people who meet other women online typically have a first meeting, and very rarely a second date, and even more unlikely anything beyond that. Anything that went well in a past date is ancient history and doesn't matter if there is no follow-up on her end.

Women are notorious for ghosting with no explanation. Maybe she was looking for ego-validation after the break-up. Maybe she meet another dude. Maybe she's talking to her ex again. You don't know why. Your numbers are just too painfully small but stuff like this is water off a duck's back to a normie. Your acting incel if this stuff bothers you that much no matter what success you had in your past.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Never forget that normal, non show-biz men cannot, in any way, shape of form, be globally appealing to women. Women can indeed be globally appealing, but not men. That's because women have a multitude of things they can do to fit men's template (makeup, clothing, etc.)

I found that the trick is to discover the type of woman who you appeal to, and once you do, it's shooting fish in a barrel. For me, it is Christian women whose faith is devout. For others it will be something different.

Funny thing is that once you handle that subset of women, women from other subsets start becoming attracted, because you start acting as a man with backbone. I always say, I used to be completely invisible to almost all women. Now they actually bother me with attention when I go to the store. What has changed? Just steady, tiny improvements in my life by taking the hammer and chisel to myself year after year. All that pounding away is tough, but the fruit of it is very sweet.

Never think you can be universally attractive. You can only ever appeal to a subset of women. Wise is the man who recognizes this and fishes his productive waters.

 

[RickTheToad]

Never forget that normal, non show-biz men cannot, in any way, shape of form, be globally appealing to women. Women can indeed be globally appealing, but not men. That's because women have a multitude of things they can do to fit men's template (makeup, clothing, etc.)

I found that the trick is to discover the type of woman who you appeal to, and once you do, it's shooting fish in a barrel. For me, it is Christian women whose faith is devout. For others it will be something different.

Funny thing is that once you handle that subset of women, women from other subsets start becoming attracted, because you start acting as a man with backbone. I always say, I used to be completely invisible to almost all women. Now they actually bother me with attention when I go to the store. What has changed? Just steady, tiny improvements in my life by taking the hammer and chisel to myself year after year. All that pounding away is tough, but the fruit of it is very sweet.

Never think you can be universally attractive. You can only ever appeal to a subset of women. Wise is the man who recognizes this and fishes his productive waters.

Hey, it's understandable. Not everyone can be a Greek God like Rick. Completely understandable. Lol.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Take note, asking her what she is doing a particular night, as if you are going to ask her out...builds her anticipation. When she asks what you are doing... she’s imaging the possibilities... she’s building anticipation.

Her anticipation is all peaked...after all you asked her if she was available. She’s ready...ready...ready... wondering what you could be doing and why you asked her if she was free (essentially)... and the answer she gets is.... drum roll.. You are going to see your parents!!

That’s how NOT to lead a conversation!