So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[bigdave17]

I'm talking exactly my taste - beautiful persian girl (although she's pretty light skinned) with great body (works out 6 days a week), 29, lives 2 minutes from me, nice as can be, classy, intelligent.


and it went fantastic. I talked to her for maybe 30 minutes about different subject matters. We got along like best friends. She asked a million questions about me. When I asked for the number, she gave it to me with no hesitation instantly. Now I'm sure this means nothing and she will blow me off when I text her tomorrow but it was very good encouragement. Anybody who tries to tell me that dating is overrated is a fukking imbecile. I've never felt more alive than I do now - and all I did was talk to a beautiful woman for 30 minutes. In the very unlikely scenario that I ever see her again, I might bust in my pants before we even have sex


I want a girlfriend worse than I've ever wanted before and it's going to kill me that I'll probably go another 10 years before I meet somebody who likes me who actually fits my taste.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm talking exactly my taste - beautiful persian girl (although she's pretty light skinned) with great body (works out 6 days a week), 29, lives 2 minutes from me, nice as can be, classy, intelligent.


and it went fantastic. I talked to her for maybe 30 minutes about different subject matters. We got along like best friends. She asked a million questions about me. When I asked for the number, she gave it to me with no hesitation instantly. Now I'm sure this means nothing and she will blow me off when I text her tomorrow but it was very good encouragement. Anybody who tries to tell me that dating is overrated is a fukking imbecile. I've never felt more alive than I do now - and all I did was talk to a beautiful woman for 30 minutes. In the very unlikely scenario that I ever see her again, I might bust in my pants before we even have sex


I want a girlfriend worse than I've ever wanted before and it's going to kill me that I'll probably go another 10 years before I meet somebody who likes me who actually fits my taste.

Why are you always a Debbie Downer dude. When you text her tomorrow. Hey, It's Dave from last night. Wait til she responds. I've love to grab a drink with you this week. When are you free. Done.

Stop with the defeatist attitude dude. It's pathetic and you're better than that.

 

[bigdave17]

Why are you always a Debbie Downer dude. When you text her tomorrow. Hey, It's Dave from last night. Wait til she responds. I've love to grab a drink with you this week. When are you free. Done.

Stop with the defeatist attitude dude. It's pathetic and you're better than that.

That's exactly what I was planning on doing and I guarantee you she's going to ignore my texts and/or make up some lame excuse

I'm destined to die alone dude. It was written in the stars that I never meet anybody who loves me

 

[RickTheToad]

That's exactly what I was planning on doing and I guarantee you she's going to ignore my texts and/or make up some lame excuse

I'm destined to die alone dude. It was written in the stars that I never meet anybody who loves me

Holy Jesus. Dude, it's not your looks. It's not your money. It's not even your personality. It's your piss poor self-esteem. You really need to speak to a life coach or a therapist. Just text what I typed above and let us know what she says. Don't go into anything else and set it up for Tuesday or Wednesday. Talk about her, not you on the date. It's all about her, less about you. If she's interested in you, she'll blab away. If she's not, it will be like pulling teeth. Get the check and then leave.

It would help everyone here if you would voice record your conversations so we an hear how you talk to ladies. You need to speak calm and cool, and not be overly excited. You are already overly excited; had you've not had a drink with her yet. Chill dude.

Good Donavan Sharpe and book a coaching session with him. Trust when I say you need it.

 

[bigdave17]

Holy Jesus. Dude, it's not your looks. It's not your money. It's not even your personality. It's your piss poor self-esteem. You really need to speak to a life coach or a therapist. Just text what I typed above and let us know what she says. Don't go into anything else and set it up for Tuesday or Wednesday. Talk about her, not you on the date. It's all about her, less about you. If she's interested in you, she'll blab away. If she's not, it will be like pulling teeth. Get the check and then leave.

It would help everyone here if you would voice record your conversations so we an hear how you talk to ladies. You need to speak calm and cool, and not be overly excited. You are already overly excited; had you've not had a drink with her yet. Chill dude.

Good Donavan Sharpe and book a coaching session with him. Trust when I say you need it.

I always let them talk about themselves - only occasionally interject with info about myself that's relevant and interesting. I was cool and calm with her tonight. I actually have a nice deep voice - I should record myself speaking one of these days. You guys will all say I have a great voice.


I will absolutely dominate if I actually get a date out of it because my overall "presentation" is excellent but I would be willing to bet money on it that she will ignore my texts.

 

[zekko]

Don't smother her.

Dave somehow comes across as the most conceited and also the most insecure person I know of. Conceit and insecurity must be related somehow.

 

[sph21]

This is your biggest problem:

In the very unlikely scenario that I ever see her again, I might bust in my pants before we even have sex

I'm destined to die alone dude. It was written in the stars that I never meet anybody who loves me

You've already found ways to sabotage the outcome. Just relax. If it goes according to your plans, then don't act overly excited about it. And if it goes against your plan, just flow like water.

If you keep having this kind of mindset, every woman you date will eventually see it. Your defeatist attitude is another form of desperation.

Women are not attracted to desperate men. Period. I've told my co-worker this and his response: "Well, that is just who I am." Eventually, he will realize that the only common denominator in his pattern of crash and burns will be HIM. So if anyone has told you that you're desperate, consider that its true.

There is a KEY to removing desperation forever. There is no simple 'trick' that will kill the desperation. It will not be in how you dress, how you talk, or where you go for dates. No, the KEY is in how you think.

The KEY to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to THINK and BELIEVE that you are The Great Catch.

If I recall it correctly, you work as a car salesman, right? Getting a woman is like selling a car. Unless in this case, you need to sell yourself to a girl. As a car salesman, if you've already have a believe that the costumer won't buy any car from you, then your mind will find a way to sabotage your success of selling a car. But if you've already believe that you are the best/ perfect car salesman and you believe that your costumer will eventually buy a car from you, then that believe will manifest itself in real life. It doesn't matter if 1 or 2 costumer slipped between your hands.

An amateur car salesman will often lose sales because he hasn't got enough experience to deal with many types of person. He needs to fail often and learn from his mistakes and then to develop the right skill to close a deal. To be a very skilled car salesman, he will need to replace his old mindset with a mindset that will net him result.

I would be willing to bet money on it that she will ignore my texts.

Why does it matter? If you think that dating is a game which you need to win every time, then you're playing the wrong game. Even a rejection is a win if you're using this experience to be a better version of yourself.

As old as time, you'll get this kind of wisdom:

• An unsuccessful person will always find ways to sabotage himself from success because he's afraid to grow from failure
• A successful person will always find ways to make his outcome better by asking the right question: "how can I achieve success?" even though he's failed multiple times

If you keep returning here to ask for tips/ tricks on how to have a SO, then you'll be contained in a formula. But if you try to understand the reasons why they gave you that piece of advice, then you can implement it without thinking. It will be natural to you.

Here's what Pook wrote about it:

Lesson Nine

Oh, how he wanted success with women! Why did others do so well and he so poorly? All jocks did was breathe and grunt to get chicks, and he did everything possible with no success. Alas, the pangs of desprised love! She was beautiful, wonderful, but only wanted him as a friend. In fact, every girl he held desirous thoughts about thought of him as only a friend or less.

It was time for change! Information was the key, he knew. He devoured books, articles, anything at all about the nature of women and creating romantic success.

Then he met a Spanish guy named Manual.

Manual said, “Behold, for here is your battleplan:

Psychological Maneuvers! You shall learn Neuro-linguistic programming! Now speak like this: “When you HAVE THAT CONNECTION with someone, that WARM, SAFE, and COMFORTABLE feeling RIGHT THERE, then what sometimes can happen is…” With Manual, women became a sum of psychological instruments to be played to his tune.

“Guides! You shall learn and memorize the booklets of Societal Situations with Women.” Now he knew to do this when she did that, to do that when she did this, on and so on. Following Manual’s guides, he met a consistent success.

“Ceaseless Information! You shall never have too much information,” commanded Manual. Thus, countless articles, countless posts streamed underneath the young man’s eyes. At the end of the day he was still in front of the computer.

“I love you, Manual!” the young man cried. Any problems, any situations, Manual would always have an answer. He would consult with Manual day and night, memorize Manual’s teachings, and worship Manual.

But, oh oh. Something was not going right. He had burned the mantra in his mind, “Thou shall never stay on the phone longer than twenty minutes,” only to break it… with a startling success! Also ingrained was the mantra, “Thou shall never compromise,” and lo and behold! When he broke this rule, he usually crashed and burned. But this time he achieved high flying success. Soon, the rules that had so framed his courtly actions disintegrated.

“Ahh,” he realized. “These guides and rules were a clutch for my lack of confidence. They do, however, work but are overall limited.” Then he smiled. “The rules and guides are the training wheels, the helper out of the nest.”

No more shall he be completely dictated by that Spanish guy named Manual! He could now fly and soar on his own. So…

Be not contained by formula.

“If the rules and guides were successful, why would he abandon them?”

“Because he realized he was successful not by the rules and guides, but by the approaching and fun mindset the rules and guides demanded.”

“Because he realized he was successful not by the rules and guides, but by the approaching and fun mindset the rules and guides demanded.”

Be a fun person. Even if you make a mistake, laugh about it as if it's not affecting you (it shouldn't be affecting you at all). If you have a fun mindset, spontaneity will come naturally. Girls love spontaneity. It means you're resourceful and have a variety of things to share with her.

 

[ChillDude6767]

I'm talking exactly my taste - beautiful persian girl (although she's pretty light skinned) with great body (works out 6 days a week), 29, lives 2 minutes from me, nice as can be, classy, intelligent.


and it went fantastic. I talked to her for maybe 30 minutes about different subject matters. We got along like best friends. She asked a million questions about me. When I asked for the number, she gave it to me with no hesitation instantly. Now I'm sure this means nothing and she will blow me off when I text her tomorrow but it was very good encouragement. Anybody who tries to tell me that dating is overrated is a fukking imbecile. I've never felt more alive than I do now - and all I did was talk to a beautiful woman for 30 minutes. In the very unlikely scenario that I ever see her again, I might bust in my pants before we even have sex


I want a girlfriend worse than I've ever wanted before and it's going to kill me that I'll probably go another 10 years before I meet somebody who likes me who actually fits my taste.

In what situation did you approach her? The gym?

 

[bigdave17]

In what situation did you approach her? The gym?

bar

 

[ChillDude6767]

bar

You must go to some upscale places to find a 10/10 in a bar. Was it alcohol that gave you courage?

 

[bigdave17]

You must go to some upscale places to find a 10/10 in a bar. Was it alcohol that gave you courage?

no 10, prolly like a 7 or 8 but the kind of 7 or 8 I like. beautiful skin who likely looks greats no makeup and has a great body

I saw her and her friend at a different bar and we talked for just a bit. Then end of night, I saw her at this bar and I just put my anxiety aside and went after it. I talked to both her and her friend. Thank god her friend had some of her own friends who came to visit her so I was able to isolate.

 

[ChillDude6767]

no 10, prolly like a 7 or 8 but the kind of 7 or 8 I like. beautiful skin who likely looks greats no makeup and has a great body

I saw her and her friend at a different bar and we talked for just a bit. Then end of night, I saw her at this bar and I just put my anxiety aside and went after it. I talked to both her and her friend. Thank god her friend had some of her own friends who came to visit her so I was able to isolate.

That's cool.

Maybe a lot of the reason you seem to be just spinning in circles on this forum is because this forum doesn't have any help to offer you. Why would a bunch of strangers know what you should do better than you would know yourself?

You're obviously not stupid or you wouldn't make so much as a car salesmen. My cousin is a car salesman and he still lives in his parents basement at age 35. (He lives in New Jersey very close to NYC).

 

[bigdave17]

That's cool.

Maybe a lot of the reason you seem to be just spinning in circles on this forum is because this forum doesn't have any help to offer you. Why would a bunch of strangers know what you should do better than you would know yourself?

You're obviously not stupid or you wouldn't make so much as a car salesmen. My cousin is a car salesman and he still lives in his parents basement at age 35. (He lives in New Jersey very close to NYC).

the car business doesn't have big adjustments for cost of living. NY/NJ is extremely expensive and you're not going to make much more there than selling cars where I live. The key with car sales is living in a reasonable cost of living area that has a very big good pay plan dealership where you can make 100-150K a year

as far as your other comments go, no there is nothing wrong with me. I just have to force myself to put the anxiety away

 

[sazc]

Holy Jesus. Dude, it's not your looks. It's not your money. It's not even your personality. It's your piss poor self-esteem. You really need to speak to a life coach or a therapist. Just text what I typed above and let us know what she says. Don't go into anything else and set it up for Tuesday or Wednesday. Talk about her, not you on the date. It's all about her, less about you. If she's interested in you, she'll blab away. If she's not, it will be like pulling teeth. Get the check and then leave.

It would help everyone here if you would voice record your conversations so we an hear how you talk to ladies. You need to speak calm and cool, and not be overly excited. You are already overly excited; had you've not had a drink with her yet. Chill dude.

Good Donavan Sharpe and book a coaching session with him. Trust when I say you need it.

Toad, be warned, both guru and amante have tired to hand feed/coach Dave and Dave just blamed them when things didn't work out

 

[ChillDude6767]

Toad, be warned, both guru and amante have tired to hand feed/coach Dave and Dave just blamed them when things didn't work out

Maybe they weren't competent teachers.

 

[bigdave17]

Maybe they weren't competent teachers.

they were great teachers and I didn't blame them

Amante tried to help me with online dating but I think the difficulty curve of online dating, when you're going for attractive 23-30 year olds, is just absolutely massive to where you have to be a 9/10 to get with a 7 female. I didn't blame him for that

 

[corrector]

I bet $10.00 this will go somewhere. Who is betting against? How much will BigDave bet against himself?

 

[bigdave17]

I bet $10.00 this will go somewhere. Who is betting against? How much will BigDave bet against himself?

that was just about the best approach I've EVER made. I focused on her, asked good questions, was 100% outcome independent/non desperate. We seemed to have great chemistry


but women are so fickle, she likely has a million guys who hit on her everywhere she goes so I'm probably already forgotten about

 

[LiveYourDream]

Moving forward on the previous analogy...

You have NOW stepped off the bottom rung of the ladder! That is fantastic!!!

The choice NOW is to, moment by moment, hold your focus UP the ladder and to CONTINUALLY, align YOUR thoughts and YOUR actions accordingly.

When you stepped off the bottom rung and moved forward to lose the weight, you didn’t get to your new body by keeping your focus on how fat you still were and reminding yourself how much you wanted to eat, eat, eat, Nope!!! You never would have succeeded that way!

You focused on the body you wanted and you aligned your thoughts and actions!!! You did it again and again!! Moment by moment YOU CHOOSE!!

YOU CHOOSE to be stronger than those f’ing little IMPULSES that were trying to detail you back to your old ways, down the ladder!

You became the master, not those little impulses!!! YOU DID IT!!!

You held YOUR FOCUS, up the ladder and that’s the direction you went!!!!

Every moment is a choice. Focus UP the ladder or DOWN the ladder?!?!?!?!?!?

YOUR FOCUS is YOUR CHOICE!!!

THE RESULT IS YOURS AS WELL!!

You either choose to master the impulses or you choose to take yourself and your life back down the ladder to playing victim??? Choice is yours!!! The resultant life is also yours!!!

Did you focus on how fat you were and how much the impulses told you to eat, eat, eat? Nope!!! You focused on the body YOU ARE NOW LIVING IN!!!!! YOU DID THAT!!!

YOUR FOCUS DETERMINES YOUR DIRECTION!!!

Are your thoughts (and posts here) taking you UP the ladder toward your desired result or are they focused and taking you back to the bottom rung, to wallow in your same old victim story/life???

Your focus is your choice!!!

Up the ladder or down the ladder??

To eat, eat, eat or to be fit??
You chose each moment to be fit! Now YOU ARE LIVING IT!!!

What are you going to choose for YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE??? The life you REALLY want or your victim story??? Choice is yours!!!
Focus on how alive you felt last night!!! That is just a taste of what is UP the ladder, for YOU!!! Focus UP!!

 

[RickTheToad]

Toad, be warned, both guru and amante have tired to hand feed/coach Dave and Dave just blamed them when things didn't work out

Amante is right. Practice will help Dave a lot. He has to rise above his fears and negative social outlook in order to get the type of lady he wants in life. We can only give advice on the one sided information we receive. I feel for the dude, but ultimately, it's his mindset.