Dear Prudence: I’m Afraid My Boyfriend Will Dump Me for a Younger Woman When He Gets Successful

[MatureDJ]

https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/03/dear-prudence-boyfriend-dump-me-for-younger-woman.html

I’ve been dating a great guy for over two years. It’s pretty serious: We live together, and I can see a future for us. But there’s one thing that really makes me question what that future would look like. He seems to equate having a younger wife with a certain level of success. For example, if I mention someone who is 20 years older than his wife or girlfriend, he’ll say, “Well, he did well.” Or he’ll talk about senior leaders at his company and mention that they’re on their second wife who is 10 years younger, as if that’s relevant to anything.

He’s very ambitious, and these comments make me feel like the moment he hits his career peak in his 50s, he’ll dump me for some younger woman. I know he’s a little superficial, and so am I, to be honest—I take good care of myself, and barring any major health issues, I’ll probably be in better shape than he is at that age! But I’d like to avoid a divorce in my 50s. Otherwise, he is a kind, caring, and generous partner whom I trust and love. Is this a deal breaker? Should I run? I’m 33, and especially if I want kids, it’s prime time for finding a long-term partner.

my opinion: Ah, it's OK for YOU to be superficial when YOU are at a Sexual Market Value advantage (and one that is into its decline, which is why you are "ready" for marriage), but you are aghast that your man will be similarly "superficial" when he is at that advantage.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Every woman should feel this way. If she lets herself go, her ass should get left.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/03/dear-prudence-boyfriend-dump-me-for-younger-woman.html




my opinion: Ah, it's OK for YOU to be superficial when YOU are at a Sexual Market Value advantage (and one that is into its decline, which is why you are "ready" for marriage), but you are aghast that your man will be similarly "superficial" when he is at that advantage.

I was out with a woman this year. The level of anger when a man drops her sister or friend for top form SMV 18-23. Its a bitter taste she cannot shake.

Its also the funniest thing about game. The ego of diva behaviour during top form SMV 18-23 versus victimhood as the wall claims her or as epiphany phase shifts into overdrive.

Beyond family and a handful of women (i can. Literally count on one hand), i really dislike a lot of women especially western women. Egomania, entitled as ****kkk, cratered SMV, children out of wedlock, false accusations, manipulative to the max, the divorce stats from women initiating, the poison dropping, the in group preference, and the list goes on.


In the words of julien blanc, get better not bitter. Its a mantra that DJs all need to live by (or even meditate on). And even still, if the sky fell tomorrow, I would not break a sweat nor bother to go out on my shield to protect women (my rotation or others).

Similar to Rich Cooper, i think somethings going to happen and chaos is going to pop off. If and when it does, I won't be there for help. I will watch it burn.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Two things.

One, for this woman to have such a concern is a little bit of a projection, because looking for that young blood would be how she would perceive handling such an advantage were the tables turned.

Two, while it is easy to see this woman as one who is complaining and implying a double standard of sorts, make no mistake that she is actually qualifying herself to her own insecurities

"I’m only two years younger than him!".

"He is very ambitious".

"... the moment he hits his career peak in his 50s, he’ll dump me for some younger woman."

"I take good care of myself".

"I’ll probably be in better shape than he is at that age!".


What you really have here is the power of a man who is always getting better. Self improvement. Women with insecurities will crumble and implode, often to the extent of ruining a relationship with these fears, whenever they encounter such men. I've known quite a few women myself who would spiral into concerns of trust, love, self-worth and loyalty in a relationship.... and all because I was hitting the gym with devotion and continuously looking better and better.

The only woman who can endure and sustain a relationship with such a man is one who can keep up with him (and vice versa, I might add) .

In short, a man on the journey of self-improvement is always going to act as a screen for women who have no real intent of pursuing the same journey. Ladies like that eliminate themselves.

Let them kick, let them scream... let them go.

Nice post brah.

Not sure what if anything is 'the end game.'

Stardust made a YouTube video called "the red pill malaise." essentially the "what next?" once taken the red pill, choosing to not marry or have children, seeing female nature as it is, not how you want it to be.

Living "get better not bitter" will callous your mind as you are being forged in the fire. There's something to be said about the Persistence and pursuit of greatness.

We as man need to be cautious with thinking and reprogramming our minds in a society that is poison dropping as well as emasculating.

I am learning more and more about, "its the journey. Not the destination." to enjoy the process from rejection, the flakes, grind, the suffering, the pickup, the pulling, smashin, the ghosting, and the cycle nature of the game as well as this life.

I don't (fully) understand the journey or the way in randomness of things but I am learning to love it and enjoy the decline.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Just a simple question...what was she doing till her mid 30s to reach such state where she has no family or secured relation yet want kids and stability for the future?

The answer is well known, she has been a top cowboy riding the c0ck carousel and now that he SMV is dropping fast just grabbed the best option possible yet is concerned that it wont last enough for her to close the deal.

Zero sympathy, you made your own bed.

I wonder why she is so surprised that her partner equates a younger wife with success...guess he never equated getting railed from chads with attractiveness and fun.

 

[AJ84]

Every woman should feel this way. If she lets herself go, her ass should get left.

Goes both ways. Man boobs are not attractive. When I meet a couple where one (man or woman) has let themselves go and the other hasn’t I can feel the disappointment from across the room. Couples who expect to be each other’s only sexual outlet should make an effort to stay f**kable. Barring some horrific accident that disfigures them, it’s actually selfish to let yourself go but expect him or her to be sexually attracted and faithful. I can say for every out of shape shabby girl with a decent guy, I’ve seen an equal amount of decent girls with shabby flabby guys. I don’t get it, it’s like they are asking to be cheated on.

 

[ChillDude6767]

Goes both ways. Man boobs are not attractive. When I meet a couple where one (man or woman) has let themselves go and the other hasn’t I can feel the disappointment from across the room. Couples who expect to be each other’s only sexual outlet should make an effort to stay f**kable. Barring some horrific accident that disfigures them, it’s actually selfish to let yourself go but expect him or her to be sexually attracted and faithful. I can say for every out of shape shabby girl with a decent guy, I’ve seen an equal amount of decent girls with shabby flabby guys. I don’t get it, it’s like they are asking to be cheated on.

Males are not judged on their physical appearance in the same way that females are. So it's not exactly the same.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Males are not judged on their physical appearance in the same way that females are. So it's not exactly the same.

The concept is the same. If you turn into a fat slob you will get left. Just like how if a strong man starts acting weak, he will get left

 

[EyeBRollin]

Men,

The easiest way to prevent this from happening is to always be improving. If you make $100,000 / year, shoot for $1 million. If you can bench 300 lbs, work to bench 400 lb. if you aren’t improving, the world will leave you. Work like it’s your last day.

 

[Robert28]

Goes both ways. Man boobs are not attractive. When I meet a couple where one (man or woman) has let themselves go and the other hasn’t I can feel the disappointment from across the room. Couples who expect to be each other’s only sexual outlet should make an effort to stay f**kable. Barring some horrific accident that disfigures them, it’s actually selfish to let yourself go but expect him or her to be sexually attracted and faithful. I can say for every out of shape shabby girl with a decent guy, I’ve seen an equal amount of decent girls with shabby flabby guys. I don’t get it, it’s like they are asking to be cheated on.

I keep in shape to appease women under 30 but for whatever reason the women over 30 and even in their 40’s want me because I stand out from their dating pool. The funny thing is whe I date them awhile cause I’m bored, I can feel their head getting bigger and they’ll dump me because they think “we’ll if I can still get him I can get anyone!”. Then they date loser after loser and I’m back on the under 29 horse in no time and she will have gone through several boyfriends she thought she was “upgrading” from me.

 

[AJ84]

Males are not judged on their physical appearance in the same way that females are. So it's not exactly the same.

They are judged when it comes to who women lust for, who they want to f**k because they are physically attracted to them. Do women f**k men they aren’t attracted to? Yes, that’s why we have gold diggers and aging expats with poor Asians. But there is a big difference between f**king a man who makes her horny and f**king a man because he buying her a Marc Jacobs handbag or gave her family money to eat.
Men who look f**kable, who are relatively fit and look healthy, are the ones who make her lady bits tingle. If he makes her lady bits tingle he’s miles ahead of any ugly man with money or ‘nice’ average looking guy trying to land her in bed. If you ever heard women talk, like really talk about what they like, you’re not going to hear them swooning over some George Costanza looking guy. Looks matter. I wouldn’t underestimate that if I was a guy.

 

[AJ84]

I keep in shape to appease women under 30 but for whatever reason the women over 30 and even in their 40’s want me because I stand out from their dating pool. The funny thing is whe I date them awhile cause I’m bored, I can feel their head getting bigger and they’ll dump me because they think “we’ll if I can still get him I can get anyone!”. Then they date loser after loser and I’m back on the under 29 horse in no time and she will have gone through several boyfriends she thought she was “upgrading” from me.

Well thats their loss right? Too bad for them and if they come sniffing back around you’re not available lol. Women like that don’t appreciate what they have and in the end are really doing you a favour, freeing you up for someone who will appreciate it.

 

[Robert28]

They are judged when it comes to who women lust for, who they want to f**k because they are physically attracted to them. Do women f**k men they aren’t attracted to? Yes, that’s why we have gold diggers and aging expats with poor Asians. But there is a big difference between f**king a man who makes her horny and f**king a man because he buying her a Marc Jacobs handbag or gave her family money to eat.
Men who look f**kable, who are relatively fit and look healthy, are the ones who make her lady bits tingle. If he makes her lady bits tingle he’s miles ahead of any ugly man with money or ‘nice’ average looking guy trying to land her in bed. If you ever heard women talk, like really talk about what they like, you’re not going to hear them swooning over some George Costanza looking guy. Looks matter. I wouldn’t underestimate that if I was a guy.

All true, however most women are failing to realize that as men get older the become higher market value the less we want to play the game. I’ve got better things to do and too many options than to be gamed by some 33 yr old woman that her only options are bums.

 

[Who Dares Win]

They are judged when it comes to who women lust for, who they want to f**k because they are physically attracted to them. Do women f**k men they aren’t attracted to? Yes, that’s why we have gold diggers and aging expats with poor Asians. But there is a big difference between f**king a man who makes her horny and f**king a man because he buying her a Marc Jacobs handbag or gave her family money to eat.
Men who look f**kable, who are relatively fit and look healthy, are the ones who make her lady bits tingle. If he makes her lady bits tingle he’s miles ahead of any ugly man with money or ‘nice’ average looking guy trying to land her in bed. If you ever heard women talk, like really talk about what they like, you’re not going to hear them swooning over some George Costanza looking guy. Looks matter. I wouldn’t underestimate that if I was a guy.

Any guy that denies the critical importance of looks when it comes of being attractive to women has no idea how the world works, if women tell him that they appreciate "niceness" and he really thinks its about being nice, he has some serious lack of social and mental skills.

We talk about LMS for a reason and personally I believe that L is the only factor in there that cant fall below a certain level without fvcking up the rest.

Given enough looks you can balance low money and low status but none of the other two can balance a lack of the first one.

 

[ChillDude6767]

They are judged when it comes to who women lust for, who they want to f**k because they are physically attracted to them. Do women f**k men they aren’t attracted to? Yes, that’s why we have gold diggers and aging expats with poor Asians. But there is a big difference between f**king a man who makes her horny and f**king a man because he buying her a Marc Jacobs handbag or gave her family money to eat.
Men who look f**kable, who are relatively fit and look healthy, are the ones who make her lady bits tingle. If he makes her lady bits tingle he’s miles ahead of any ugly man with money or ‘nice’ average looking guy trying to land her in bed. If you ever heard women talk, like really talk about what they like, you’re not going to hear them swooning over some George Costanza looking guy. Looks matter. I wouldn’t underestimate that if I was a guy.

But a males usefulness has nothing to do with his physical appearance.

 

[Robert28]

Well thats their loss right? Too bad for them and if they come sniffing back around you’re not available lol. Women like that don’t appreciate what they have and in the end are really doing you a favour, freeing you up for someone who will appreciate it.

Yeah but I bet you there’s a woman sitting around somewhere that’s saying to everyone “yeah I dumped Brad Pitt back in highschool because he was too clingy” And the sad thing is she still believes she made the smart move dumping him and wouldn’t take him back now if he called her up. I know women like this, trust me.

 

[AJ84]

[

But a males usefulness has nothing to do with his physical appearance.

His usefulness in making her want to f**k his brians out has a lot to do with his physical appearance. How many fat back hairy male strippers are there? How many fat back hairy male models are there?
Men don’t have to be have to be ripped and have a full head of hair, they don’t have to be Greek gods but they do need to be in good shape and know how to groom and have good hygiene (esp down there). Be appealing, be healthy and even older men can look great and in fact it’s awesome to see older fit men rocking some well fitting jeans or cords and dressed stylishly. Saw one today on the subway and he had to be in his 60s.

 

[AJ84]

Yeah but I bet you there’s a woman sitting around somewhere that’s saying to everyone “yeah I dumped Brad Pitt back in highschool because he was too clingy” And the sad thing is she still believes she made the smart move dumping him and wouldn’t take him back now if he called her up. I know women like this, trust me.

I know women like that too Hahahaha. It’s called self preservation.

 

[ChillDude6767]

[

His usefulness in making her want to f**k his brians out has a lot to do with his physical appearance. How many fat back hairy male strippers are there? How many fat back hairy male models are there?
Men don’t have to be have to be ripped and have a full head of hair, they don’t have to be Greek gods but they do need to be in good shape and know how to groom and have good hygiene (esp down there). Be appealing, be healthy and even older men can look great and in fact it’s awesome to see older fit men rocking some well fitting jeans or cords and dressed stylishly. Saw one today on the subway and he had to be in his 60s.

So what you're saying is all they have to do is not be overweight.

How many male strippers are there period? Compare that to the number of female strippers. There's probably 10,000 female strippers to every 1 male stripper.

And are "male models" with a pretty boy face actually seen as useful to females? They can't see through that?

 

[sazc]

all I read was "she needs a really good prenup"