Double standards relationship solutions?

[Newbee2]

No. My understanding is that a prenup is what you do before getting married, not before handing kids but maybe it’s different where you live.
If you haven’t yet, look into the marriage and family laws in your country to see how best to protect yourself in case of divorce.

I'm not marrying her.

By law in my home country it's 50/50 no matter marital status. But we are not in my home country..

A solid prenup should be good enough, if she get pregnant. I'm the provider in case she gets, and have to pay all the time she's not working. Because she not EU citizen. So I have something to say in this matter. There should be time enough to make this before she returns to work.

There is aways risk's involved with the laws regarding rights in case of seperation in the western world, only safe haven is MGTOW

 

[Newbee2]

The best term I can find, to describe a relationship with a massage therapist, is nonmonogamy where intimacy is shared outside the relationship.

Or any better terms for this? ****ol? But only if she is the only one who have intimacy outside the relationship.

Anyway it dosen't feel right, but I cannot change her.. I can only claim my own freedom, on the same terms. I'm no cheater, and don't want to be. But I will not accept double standards, and will try and open up to intimacy outside etc.

 

[highSpeed]

We are not married, and no kids jet. If kids comes she agreed on a prenup 50/50 custody binding contract. I make more than 2x her even though massage is 1/3 higher than normal salery.

Frame.. rational male

I don't enjoy power struggels, last day when she had a temper tantrum, I carmly whent and lie down on the sofa saying nothing, while she wanted to pack her things and wanted to leave me.

Why this sense of entitlement over power? I don't understand.. I don't like to control her, and thats a bad thing?

*joke* why do some people need a akward smile, like american history x style. Just to be resonably fair. What happent to us here in 2019?

Without a real lady the gentleman dies and so does chivalry.

Look, I get you, you want people to be noble, to aspire to higher goals and ideals, that is a good thing. Honestly though, that is a man's worldview. Women simply don't feel or think that way. If you want to be in a serious relationship, you have to set the standard and set the expectation that she is to follow those standards.

If you don't set the standard, she will and it looks as if she's pushing hard to set that standard because you won't. Believe me, it sucks, I'm facing some of those harsh realities as it relates to my marriage now, I realize the mistakes I've made and am not even sure I can fix it at this point. I'm hoping I can.

Are there guys out there who are d*cks and should not be in a serious relationship? Sure, I'd say around 25% or so, give or take. Those guys are the ones who not only ruin things for the rest of us but have been the ones that women, cucks and liberal fascists have used as a reason for the matriarchal law and social system that are now currently in place.

 

[Newbee2]

Look, I get you, you want people to be noble, to aspire to higher goals and ideals, that is a good thing. Honestly though, that is a man's worldview. Women simply don't feel or think that way. If you want to be in a serious relationship, you have to set the standard and set the expectation that she is to follow those standards.

If you don't set the standard, she will and it looks as if she's pushing hard to set that standard because you won't. Believe me, it sucks, I'm facing some of those harsh realities as it relates to my marriage now, I realize the mistakes I've made and am not even sure I can fix it at this point. I'm hoping I can.

Are there guys out there who are d*cks and should not be in a serious relationship? Sure, I'd say around 25% or so, give or take. Those guys are the ones who not only ruin things for the rest of us but have been the ones that women, cucks and liberal fascists have used as a reason for the matriarchal law and social system that are now currently in place.

What do you recomend, I set as a standard?

 

[Newbee2]

Look, I get you, you want people to be noble, to aspire to higher goals and ideals, that is a good thing. Honestly though, that is a man's worldview. Women simply don't feel or think that way. If you want to be in a serious relationship, you have to set the standard and set the expectation that she is to follow those standards.

If you don't set the standard, she will and it looks as if she's pushing hard to set that standard because you won't. Believe me, it sucks, I'm facing some of those harsh realities as it relates to my marriage now, I realize the mistakes I've made and am not even sure I can fix it at this point. I'm hoping I can.

Are there guys out there who are d*cks and should not be in a serious relationship? Sure, I'd say around 25% or so, give or take. Those guys are the ones who not only ruin things for the rest of us but have been the ones that women, cucks and liberal fascists have used as a reason for the matriarchal law and social system that are now currently in place.

It's difficult for you to set a standard now the law's and she got you by the onion's.. we don't have much rights after marriage. Sorry to hear about your situation.

 

[Newbee2]

Is it narcissistic of me, to make claim on equality aka. No double standards?

She has to work, (but she don't have to work this job).

I don't have to go to massage with 6'y ladies or gentleman dance club's. BUT I will do now because I want equality. Not because I'm vindictive. She made this choice without consideration for me. Breaking rules she made for me

My choice would clearly be monogami relationship based on love and respect. A normal good life

I don't feel it's about revenge from my side, and uptil today I respected her feelings and jealous rules.

But she starts working today.. and so does my reclaimed freedom. I will go asian massage that offers h - end, and I will stay faithfull. I will only allow myself to do things within the same limits as her.

Am I a selfish bastard as she claims?, am i vindictive? Or anything like this? I know it could look and smell like I am. But it's not my intentions to get revenge.

My frame will be, no double standards. And I will take my part of equality equation. She will kick and scream all the way there, likely leave me, or make revenge. Sure her mask slips and the drama queen will come full force, she will go full retard!!

Too bad, not my choice's that bring us here. Do to me, as you want me to do to you

Have a nice day, and f*** me

 

[LiveYourDream]

In my view, you have a serious case of oneitis. Time to get real with yourself. This woman does not share your values. She never will. Do not allow yourself to have kids with her. If you do, someday you will wake up and begin to wonder, if any kids are truly your own, or if they were actually fathered by her "clients." I repeat, do not have kids with her. Neither should you ever marry her. She is not a suitable LTR for you. She never will be. Do not try to readjust your values, to match her values. You are already starting. You will never be happy living that way. The sooner you get honest with yourself and leave her, the better for you. It will hurt in the beginning no doubt. It will become clear that your life will be significantly better for having done so.

You are acting like she is the only woman in the world. She isn't. Time for you to move on.

 

[Newbee2]

In my view, you have a serious case of oneitis. Time to get real with yourself. This woman does not share your values. She never will. Do not allow yourself to have kids with her. If you do, someday you will wake up and begin to wonder, if any kids are truly your own, or if they were actually fathered by her "clients." I repeat, do not have kids with her. Neither should you ever marry her. She is not a suitable LTR for you. She never will be. Do not try to readjust your values, to match her values. You are already starting. You will never be happy living that way. The sooner you get honest with yourself and leave her, the better for you. It will hurt in the beginning no doubt. It will become clear that your life will be significantly better for having done so.

You are acting like she is the only woman in the world. She isn't. Time for you to move on.

I know she not. Sure dna test But we normally get along good, I cannot control her. But I can claim my equality. Luckily I'm not a jealous person, I'm monogam. She is very jealous, and maybe she realize with time, that same rules apply for us both. And her jealousy makes her reconsiter her job choice. And I don't allow double standards. Or we grow apart... anyway I stand my ground

 

[LiveYourDream]

I know she not. Sure dna test But we normally get along good, I cannot control her. But I can claim my equality. Luckily I'm not a jealous person, I'm monogam. She is very jealous, and maybe she realize with time, that same rules apply for us both. And her jealousy makes her reconsiter her job choice. And I don't allow double standards. Or we grow apart... anyway I stand my ground

You are not standing your ground. You are essentially accepting the equivalent of an open relationship. That is her standard, per her insistence on moving forward, on massaging men, other than you. You prefer monogamy and for her not to be intimate with other men, in that way. She is disregarding your wishes. You are fooling yourself, to claim that you have gained equality (no double standards), in a way that pleases you. You have simply surrendered to her wishes and into her frame. How are you going to feel all day long, every day, knowing her hands and focus is on other men, in that way? That is the life you are signing yourself up for. Why???

 

[Newbee2]

You are not standing your ground. You are essentially accepting the equivalent of an open relationship. That is her standard, per her insistence on moving forward, on massaging men, other than you. You prefer monogamy and for her not to be intimate with other men, in that way. She is disregarding your wishes. You are fooling yourself, to claim that you have gained equality (no double standards), in a way that pleases you. You have simply surrendered to her wishes and into her frame. How are you going to feel all day long, every day, knowing her hands and focus is on other men, in that way? That is the life you are signing yourself up for. Why???

I feel very bad about this situation. Yes she does what she want, and so do I now.. but it's not my perfered way.. lets see how she react tonight, now I go places she don't like and massage. Yes I just finished a massage, and I don't feel any better. I trying to be patient and not over react

 

[Alvafe]

massageuse, where I live that almost means prostitute, in a polite way, you are a fool to think even a prenup will protect you, but since you so want to do so, put in the prenup the kid need to be yours for anything, and it need to be proven.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

massageuse, where I live that almost means prostitute, in a polite way, you are a fool to think even a prenup will protect you, but since you so want to do so, put in the prenup the kid need to be yours for anything, and it need to be proven.

Where do you live? In some trendie and yuppie areas its an actual massage.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I feel very bad about this situation. Yes she does what she want, and so do I now.. but it's not my perfered way.. lets see how she react tonight, now I go places she don't like and massage. Yes I just finished a massage, and I don't feel any better. I trying to be patient and not over react

You cant win operating her way. It will degrade you.

 

[Newbee2]

You cant win operating her way. It will degrade you.

You are properly right.. it sucks

Why are "some" females so complicated and annoying

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You are properly right.. it sucks

Why are "some" females so complicated and annoying

If you feel like it outdo her bullshyt and rub her face in it.

 

[Newbee2]

Equality is a nonsense. You are being dragged into nonsense.

The massage thrapists that i've known have been insecure financially.

You are looking at a likely dependant on you from a financial aspect.

As you've pointed out, you can get sex anywhere. Ask yourself how she can really better your quality of life over the long term.

Probably take her far less seriously.

(Where have all the good men gone) lol my a** off. They er tired of this **** and gone mgtow, because it's the only place where it dosen't rain popoo.

 

[glass half full]

That saying "Can't make a ho into a housewife" rings true.

 

[Newbee2]

You've said she's an aspiring massage therapist. That only indicates to me that she's possibly a bit ditzy. Ditzy people can be alright.

Double standards are a sh1t-test. All women are like that.

Does she offer anything else?

- good company?
- security?
- giver not taker?
- good cook?
- supportive?

Trying to understand your view. You seem to consider her seriously, but haven't said anything good about her.

Maybe a serial monogamy thing? I used to have that.

S-test possible.. she get all the s she don't want now, no problem. Zero * given

Yes she is good company

Securety, not so much as you can hear, she is not the most emotional stabile human.

Yes she is a good cook, so am I

Supportive ahh? Somewhat.. when she want.

She good at take care of the house, she been supervisor on a 5 star hotel many years

 

[Crosstimbers Okie]

Talk to your female friend, get your massage alone, and do what you want. Let your GF get angry. Don't react to her anger by trying to please her; act like her anger doesn't bother you.

Allowing her anger to change your actions is Beta. As much as it may seem that your compromise would encourage her to compromise, the actual result will be her seeing you as weak and sucking another d1ck asap.

As for her massage job, accept it or leave her. You can't control her or reason with her. If anything, you can try holding a strong Frame and change her feelings about it.

Excellent advice. And stop trying so hard to be fair and balanced. She will not respect it. She will see it as weakness. Women are overgrown children. Treat them that way. Even when they display signs of adulthood they are able to slide back into adolescence whenever they think it will benefit them.

 

[Newbee2]

You've said she's an aspiring massage therapist. That only indicates to me that she's possibly a bit ditzy. Ditzy people can be alright.

Double standards are a sh1t-test. All women are like that.

Does she offer anything else?

- good company?
- security?
- giver not taker?
- good cook?
- supportive?

Trying to understand your view. You seem to consider her seriously, but haven't said anything good about her.

Maybe a serial monogamy thing? I used to have that.

Ditzy? I don't know.. but very bad at seeing from another point of view. She only see the money, not the cost's on the homefront. I only feel the cost's.. so we cannot agree on this. But she is so jealous, and now she is trying to wheel in on our agreement on no double standards, by ultimatums and control. So I answered, the more bad and unsecure I feel, the more I will go for 6'y lady massage, period.. if she don't like she can get a normal job.

In the end this extra 1/3 she makes in salery, I will waste on other women. So together we have the same as before. And a lot more problems, but that's properly too much man logic.. She is properly hoping things will smooth out with time, I don't know