What would you classify a girl that will let you flirt with her but never initiates flirting with you. What I mean is you can kiss her randomly anytime you want and she won’t pull away, grab her ass and she will let you, wanna hold her hand just grab it. She never randomly kisses YOU though or never flirts with you. She will respond to your flirting but she won’t initiate it out of the blue.
What would you call this?
- Thread starter Robert28
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lamath
Master Don Juan
weird seems like low interest
marmel75
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Can you bend her over, and bang her anytime you want to?
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Could be old fashioned and shy, or could be an attention wh0re.
The main thing is to put her feet to the fire and create certainty and resolution. Either take positive action or look elsewhere.
A man should never be walking around for any length of time wondering if a girl likes him. Make things happen.
The main thing is to put her feet to the fire and create certainty and resolution. Either take positive action or look elsewhere.
A man should never be walking around for any length of time wondering if a girl likes him. Make things happen.
Well I’ve been seeing her for almost a month, we go out once or twice a week but I’m also seeing other people. I dunno if she is or not. We talk everyday, she initiates just as much as I do. I’ve brought up her coming over to spend the night or weekend sometime but she goes silent or it’s like it goes in one ear and out the other. However she’s made me meet her mom. This girl is 33 and just got out of some year long relationship a couple months ago and she did make the comment “I’m glad we are taking it slow, this is nice for a change”. Slow is ok, but damn a month and no sex and you still aren’t initiating flirting? It feels like one of those almost-relationships.lol when we go out I’ll pay and she will pay the next time, I haven’t bought her a thing or been some nice guy, I know that. It feels like I’m a friend but then there’s times she acts like I’m more. It’s just a new situation I’ve never been in before so I didn’t know.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Mmmm look like a time waster, id withdraw my attention/presence
Well I gotta figure out a way to get out of this. Part of me wants to and part of me keeps asking if I’m bailing too early. I can’t go ghost because if you don’t talk to her for more than a day she will blow your phone the fvck up. Silent treatment doesn’t work at all.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Im not the most experience but i would do it anyway evennif its only a few hour and tell her dead battery or you forgot phone
RickTheToad
Moderator
She may be a tease or playing games. What's her age?
33. The weird thing is I can usually spot when a girl is playing games but I’ve neber experienced anything like this before.
Not pulling away is not enough. Was she kissing you as well when you initiated the kiss?
Was she wrapping her arm around you or holding your waist or coming in a physical closeness of that sort when you grabbed her ass?
Was she gripping your fingers when grabbed her hand?
You initiating an action every time is not the real problem; that's what you do as a man. Her reaction and physical and mental responsiveness to your initiatives (actions) are the key. Only you can feel her reaction and responsiveness to your actions. For instance, a hot girl can just lie on the bed and hardly does anything. The man engaging in sexual intercourse does everything. In that case, her hotness amounts to and means nothing, to me, personally. You get my point?
RickTheToad
Moderator
Agreed. A bit weird for a 33 year old. How many times have you been out with her? Have you smashed yet?
Yep she totally kisses me everytime, for as long as I want.
Yep she will put her arm around me but only if I do it first
Nope she won’t interlock her fingers when i hold her hand, that’s what I’m talking about that’s so confusing. Little things like that. Or how a girl will come up behind you and give you a poke on the side or gently grab your shirt or when you’re sitting next to each other bump her leg into yours UNLESS you do any of this first. Like I said, I’ve neber seen anything like it. Oneday I think she likes me and then there’s times I think if I didn’t touch her the whole date we’d never even touch. So weird.
Ummm let’s see, 7 or 9 times in a month. Nope no smash yet, nothing except kissing and copping a feel whenever. We can’t smash at her house because her roommate and I hate each other but yet she won’t come to my house and I’ve tried. God have I tried.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Wait. You've seen this lady for 9 times and no sex yet? Dude, she's using you for your non-sexual attention. I would had dropped her after the 4th with no sex already. I'd go NC and wait for her to reach out. When she does, offer to cook a meal at your place. If she says no, just say, not a problem. Another time then and go NC. You're wasting your time with this one dude.
Oh I’ve done the whole cook a meal at my house thing. It’s not that she says no, she dodges the invitation somehow. Everytime I’ve invited her to my house it’s something like “yeah sure we can do that sometime, that would be fun”. But you can never nail down anything concrete but yet she’s never flakes or canceled on a single date. I’ve invited her to my house many times.
Already done the no contact thing,she notices within 24 hours. I have nothing invested in this girl really but yet she doesn’t want me to get away for some reason. Think she’d enjoy attention that damn much? Could be I dunno. She keeps saying I’m different, whatever that means. I think she sees me as a friend but doesn’t want to tell me because she knows I’ll be gone. But yet she lets me get away with kissing her and stuff.
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RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Normal behavior for a chick that has just come off a relationship. You are spending too much time thinking about this... sounds like this is not much fun for you. If a chick isn't fun then go find one that is, when she is emotionally ready to open up, and she is still interested in you, she will reach out. If not, well there are plenty of women that you can date.
I mean it started out as fun as could be, but lately it’s been anytning but fun. I keep her around because she’s better long term material than the other girls I’m seeing so that’s why I haven’t cut her loose yet. I just neber been thrown so many mixed signals and been so confused about what I am to her. I’m very experienced with women but this girl threw me for a damn loop. You know how we are taught to read a girls actions and not her words? That’s what’s confusing me! Her actions are never consistent towards me and are all over the place.
As far as opening up, she’s done that. She’s told me some deep **** that she said she hadn’t told but 2 other people in her life. She claims she’s too comfortable around me but yet she won’t come stay a night or weekend at my house? The hell?
oldmanofthesea
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I agree with RangerMike. She's probably just in a weird space after her LTR, and she may have low to medium interest in you and is just going through the motions to try to get back on the horse. I would simply start gradually pulling back, in terms of response rate, response speed, date initiation, and initiation of touch until she either starts initiating and sleeping with you, or she just fades away.
Also, I would never advise a weekend invite until long after you are sleeping together. My guess is that you are doing that because her comments to you suggest she's looking for an LTR and wants to take things slow, etc, but I've been in this situation enough to know that you have to be really careful with that. If you aren't, you end up playing in her frame and saying and doing things because you think it's what she wants. Yet 9 times out of 10, what she told you isn't actually what she wants and more importantly, it isn't what YOU want. This sets you up for the frustration you are experiencing right now.
Also, I would never advise a weekend invite until long after you are sleeping together. My guess is that you are doing that because her comments to you suggest she's looking for an LTR and wants to take things slow, etc, but I've been in this situation enough to know that you have to be really careful with that. If you aren't, you end up playing in her frame and saying and doing things because you think it's what she wants. Yet 9 times out of 10, what she told you isn't actually what she wants and more importantly, it isn't what YOU want. This sets you up for the frustration you are experiencing right now.
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Glassguy
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It doesnt work because you dont stay silent. You are totally in her frame.
You havent really followed protocol on this, thus not getting results (sex).
Yet you still see her- so you are allowing her to set the parameters on where you see her at.
This is the thing- either she doesnt see you as a sexual partner, or whatever, but you need to figure it out and stop wasting your time.
What Glassguy would do:
I would go silent. She can blow my phone up all she wants, I am not answering it or responding to her texts. Put some pressure on her instead of her putting pressure on you.
Wait 2-3 days and then hit her with "I have fun hanging out with you but I think we are on different levels from what we are expecting with this". If she asks what you mean, simply say "I just dont think you are sexual enough for me".
There is a chance that she will just say "ok" when you say that you are on different levels, blah blah. Thats ok too. You now know that her interest really isnt that high and she is just using you for attention and validation. At that point, unless she comes back to say she wants to come over, you stay silent permanently.
If she responds back asking what you mean by her not being sexual enough, just be honest with her. Tell her that you have invited her over several times and she dodges around it. Tell her thats ok, good luck.
She will either be at your place primed and ready to fvck or you stop wasting your time and money on her.