GrowingPains
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2018
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- Age
- 28
Rejection...
Everyone's afraid of rejection. It seems that rejection is the kryptonite to people of all genders, races, and backgrounds. It keeps people from doing things from sharing their true feelings with loved ones to speaking to
I've been thinking about it a lil bit since it's Week 4: Get 10 rejections for me in the DJ Boot Camp. Here's a couple thoughts on what you can do to 'get over' your fear of rejection. Some pertaining to women, some to all relationships.
1. Being afraid of rejection is an insecurity. You're afraid that the other person won't accept you. That's fine, being insecure is human nature. But you have the ability to control your mind and do the internal searching it takes to either overcome this insecurity entirely or to be aware that you are simply being insecure but not give in to that weakness. I resonate with the latter, maybe one day it will be the former but I'm still early in my journey. It is important to realize that not everyone will like you. Point. Blank. Period. Why would you expect them to? Do you like everyone? This is good news though because it means you should just be yourself. You don't need to try so hard to be something you're not to try and get someone to like you. Naturally, some people will dislike you and you will be rejected. Hell, they probably rejected you before you even walked up to them - don't you have opinions of people you see in public? Granted, I'd encourage you to be more open-minded than the people I'm describing but that's beside the point. So consider it a win either way. Either you get the number or you get rejected. It's clear how getting the number is a W. But how could it be the same for getting rejected? You found out that the person wasn't interested in you. You don't have to worry about them anymore. You can rest easy and know you grabbed your balls and did what your instincts told you to. You should be proud of that. "But I didn't get the numberrrr." Riddle me this young padaJuan: why would you want to waste your valuable time and energy on someone that's not interested in you?
All you can do is give it your best. Sometimes your best is not good enough. Also, Young PadaJuan is a gangster username.. lurkers feel free to cop.
2. You need to change your mindset.
3. You cannot win them all. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You can read all the posts on this website, internalize all the theory and you still won't score every time. Most of us have created this false dichotomy regarding the Natural and the DJ in training where the Natural just pulls all the
Don't take my word for it. Take it from the naturals themselves. Blueface. Salsalino.
You may perceive naturals to be perpetually successful with women. But just like with anything else, the only thing you see is their successes. You don't hear about the failures. So stop entertaining the false perception that they don't fail. Hell, if you keep failing (while being mindful and taking action to improve) you will be where they are one day. If not where they are, at least better than you were before. Think about it in terms of sports. No coach is gonna tell his best shooter to stop shooting when he's missing shots. He's gonna say shoot more. Take more shots. So when you get rejected... rebound and take another shot.
"Nobody gets up in the morning, stares in the mirror, and says to himself, “Man, I hope every shot I take today hits the rim and bounces off.”
But life isn’t like that. Life isn’t a game of perfection. Like basketball, life is a game of recovery. You shoot every shot you take with the full confidence and assurance that you are going to hit that shot. But if you happen to miss the shot or if a competitor happens to block your shot, you have to recover the basketball and position yourself to take another shot at the goal. And you have to keep doing this over and over again until you finally score, because nobody hits 100 percent of his shots in a basketball game and nobody hits 100 percent of his shots in life."
Original article.
4. What's the worst that could happen? Are you gonna die? Take this approach to everything mountain that you face. You're afraid to get out of your comfort zone. What's the worst that could happen? Are gonna die? No? Then get out of your comfort zone. You're afraid to go for an advanced degree because you didn't do well in school. What's the worst that could happen? Are you gonna die?? Get out of your fvcking comfort zone. You're afraid to take a cold shower... Are you picking up what I'm putting down? This girl can't take your life. The worst that could happen is that you get embarrassed in front of her or however many people are around. But who. fvcking. cares. People who watch from the stands have no business judging those on the court.
5. Rejection is better than regret. Would you rather know you talked to her and gave her the opportunity to meet you...? Or be in your head about it and kick yourself for not approaching? Wishing you could see her again because now you so desperately need to talk to her to make up for your mistake.
6. Get out there and get rejected. Shoot every open shot. Your accuracy will get better over time. But increased accuracy isn't even that big of a concern. Consider that your current batting average is 1/10; let's run the numbers. If you approach 1 girl a week, it'll potentially take you 10 weeks to hit 1 home run. That's terrible odds. Now what if you approached 10 girls a week? Then in that same 10 week time frame you could possibly have 10 girls. And you have the same success rate in both scenarios, all you did in the second one is get over your approach anxiety and get after it.
You will fail. Accept it and stop being afraid of it. Live like there's no tomorrow.
Everyone's afraid of rejection. It seems that rejection is the kryptonite to people of all genders, races, and backgrounds. It keeps people from doing things from sharing their true feelings with loved ones to speaking to
. It's the main reason for approach anxiety... But why?
I've been thinking about it a lil bit since it's Week 4: Get 10 rejections for me in the DJ Boot Camp. Here's a couple thoughts on what you can do to 'get over' your fear of rejection. Some pertaining to women, some to all relationships.
1. Being afraid of rejection is an insecurity. You're afraid that the other person won't accept you. That's fine, being insecure is human nature. But you have the ability to control your mind and do the internal searching it takes to either overcome this insecurity entirely or to be aware that you are simply being insecure but not give in to that weakness. I resonate with the latter, maybe one day it will be the former but I'm still early in my journey. It is important to realize that not everyone will like you. Point. Blank. Period. Why would you expect them to? Do you like everyone? This is good news though because it means you should just be yourself. You don't need to try so hard to be something you're not to try and get someone to like you. Naturally, some people will dislike you and you will be rejected. Hell, they probably rejected you before you even walked up to them - don't you have opinions of people you see in public? Granted, I'd encourage you to be more open-minded than the people I'm describing but that's beside the point. So consider it a win either way. Either you get the number or you get rejected. It's clear how getting the number is a W. But how could it be the same for getting rejected? You found out that the person wasn't interested in you. You don't have to worry about them anymore. You can rest easy and know you grabbed your balls and did what your instincts told you to. You should be proud of that. "But I didn't get the numberrrr." Riddle me this young padaJuan: why would you want to waste your valuable time and energy on someone that's not interested in you?
All you can do is give it your best. Sometimes your best is not good enough. Also, Young PadaJuan is a gangster username.. lurkers feel free to cop.
2. You need to change your mindset.
Need I say more??
3. You cannot win them all. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You can read all the posts on this website, internalize all the theory and you still won't score every time. Most of us have created this false dichotomy regarding the Natural and the DJ in training where the Natural just pulls all the
(lmfao) and doesn't take any L's and the DJ in training must be doing something wrong because he takes many L's. Naturals get rejected too, they just aren't butt hurt about it. They move on to the next one.
Don't take my word for it. Take it from the naturals themselves. Blueface. Salsalino.
You may perceive naturals to be perpetually successful with women. But just like with anything else, the only thing you see is their successes. You don't hear about the failures. So stop entertaining the false perception that they don't fail. Hell, if you keep failing (while being mindful and taking action to improve) you will be where they are one day. If not where they are, at least better than you were before. Think about it in terms of sports. No coach is gonna tell his best shooter to stop shooting when he's missing shots. He's gonna say shoot more. Take more shots. So when you get rejected... rebound and take another shot.
"Nobody gets up in the morning, stares in the mirror, and says to himself, “Man, I hope every shot I take today hits the rim and bounces off.”
But life isn’t like that. Life isn’t a game of perfection. Like basketball, life is a game of recovery. You shoot every shot you take with the full confidence and assurance that you are going to hit that shot. But if you happen to miss the shot or if a competitor happens to block your shot, you have to recover the basketball and position yourself to take another shot at the goal. And you have to keep doing this over and over again until you finally score, because nobody hits 100 percent of his shots in a basketball game and nobody hits 100 percent of his shots in life."
Original article.
4. What's the worst that could happen? Are you gonna die? Take this approach to everything mountain that you face. You're afraid to get out of your comfort zone. What's the worst that could happen? Are gonna die? No? Then get out of your comfort zone. You're afraid to go for an advanced degree because you didn't do well in school. What's the worst that could happen? Are you gonna die?? Get out of your fvcking comfort zone. You're afraid to take a cold shower... Are you picking up what I'm putting down? This girl can't take your life. The worst that could happen is that you get embarrassed in front of her or however many people are around. But who. fvcking. cares. People who watch from the stands have no business judging those on the court.
5. Rejection is better than regret. Would you rather know you talked to her and gave her the opportunity to meet you...? Or be in your head about it and kick yourself for not approaching? Wishing you could see her again because now you so desperately need to talk to her to make up for your mistake.
6. Get out there and get rejected. Shoot every open shot. Your accuracy will get better over time. But increased accuracy isn't even that big of a concern. Consider that your current batting average is 1/10; let's run the numbers. If you approach 1 girl a week, it'll potentially take you 10 weeks to hit 1 home run. That's terrible odds. Now what if you approached 10 girls a week? Then in that same 10 week time frame you could possibly have 10 girls. And you have the same success rate in both scenarios, all you did in the second one is get over your approach anxiety and get after it.
You will fail. Accept it and stop being afraid of it. Live like there's no tomorrow.
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