I am 22 and married but not happy. My wife is the 3rd and last girl in my life. Need help?

[dbayraktar]

Hi everyone. I am 22 years old and got married to a beautiful, hot girl. She is my wife. We got married 7 months ago. She is a good girl. But I am not happy. I love her but I don't feel like an strong, alpha man anymore. I was strong and a free man before my wife but now I feel like I got chained. There are lots of beautiful girls out there and I live in a crowded city, but the problem is that I can't talk to or flirt with them.

NOTE: I have attached our photo if you wonder us.

I know that I can't have sex with them even if I talk to them. That thought makes me feel very weak and I feel that my life is over. I just had sex with 2 different girl before my wife. So my wife is the 3rd girl who I have sex. There was 3-4 girls who gave me BJ but not more.

I have an IT job and my workplace is in a very crowded city. I see beautiful and sexy girls everyday and I can't control my sex drive. I frequently have sex with my wife and but the thing is I don't want to eat the same meal everyday. I don't know what to do. I think divorce is the hardest choice for me to solve my problem. Because I can't divorce without having a problem with her. She doesn't even know about my this feelings.

I want to spin plates. I want to meet different girls on Tinder again like I used to.
I don't think that I can live that way. I need my power back. Some people says from TRP that my problem is not about other women. It is about me. They say that I have to find my purpose. But how?


I need your advices. Please help me. Give me some advices.

 

[dbayraktar]

You can 1) stay with her and endure your wanderlust, perhaps cheating, perhaps not, or 2) get divorced, and endure an unpleasant short term experience in exchange for your freedom from marriage. It all boils down to what you want and what you're willing to pay for it, because both choices come with a price.

It is really difficult to choose. I think I can't be the man like I was if I get divorced. I don't know what to do. Some girls flirt with me at work and I like it but I want more. I want to fck them. My wife is the only obstacle. I don't want to regret.

 

[dbayraktar]

You can lie to yourself and tell yourself you did the “right” thing or you can man up, stick to your balls and do what’s right for YOU

I don't know. Sometimes I even think about killing myself to end all of my thoughts.

 

[dbayraktar]

Shut up and choose. Man up and own your decision. You messed up. Clean it up and GO

I guess getting divorce might be good for me but I don't want to regret. I wish she wants a divorce. I don't want to be blamed for my decision. She wants to have a kid but I don't want to.

 

[dbayraktar]

Don't phuck women at work man. It's foolish.

Other than that - if your wife is good and you are provided with sex on constant basis, then why would you like to cheat on her? You need to think about that. Validation that other women provide you with is not necessary for your well being really unless you are unhappy in your marriage because of your relationship with your wife (for ex. gasslighting, getting on your nerves, undermining you) otherwise the issue is in yourself.

I think the purpose is what you lack the most - I'd hit the gym, think about plans for the future, perhaps travel a bit. think about growing business. You're very young, good looking and a good asset for any woman around really - think about how to grow your potential, not how to waste it.

Don't take your current life and attention from women for granted as well - some women may go after you because you have pretty wife/because you are married.

Married man is the best target for romances at work (safe choice for woman but not for you) so I'd say you need to be way smarter than you are right now and honestly speaking you are too young to be wise so either you will train your character and wisdom or your life will soon change but not necessarily for better.



Stay adamant and tell her that's too early for you (because, honestly, it is too early for you).

You seem to be a guy with great prospects for life. Don't waste it.

Oh thanks for your advices. It is really helpful. You said that I should think about how to grow my potential. My wife is a jealous girl. She doesn't let me go to the gym and she say that there are lots of beautiful girls on the gym. She even bitching when I arrived home late. Sometimes there is traffic but she doesn't want to believe. She is always jealous about me. This is the reason I don't feel like a free man.

And sometimes I see very hot girls in the streets. They looks very sexy. Even sexier than my wife. My wife is also a sexy and beautiful but other girls looks more sexy to me. I don't know why.

 

[sosousage]

tip: you can cheat

 

[dbayraktar]

Gym is necessary for you to maintain HIGH testosterone level, so you have following options:

a)Diplomatic - "Honey, we can go together to the gym. If you don't want to go then I will go with my friend X and you shouldn't be worry about it"
b)Player/Slightly arrogant - "Honey, I'm going to the gym to stay great for you. I'll be back at X" and just go
c)Listen to her and don't go - WORST possible option, initially she will be happy that you conceded, but if you will do it, you will concede about other things as well and eventually she will LOSE RESPECT for you because YOU WILL LOSE RESPECT for yourself (I speak from experience here)

Also, don't fight about it. If she will try to start a fight, be dismissive and just go about your business, don't escalate. Guy needs to be tougher that woman in such way.

If you have slightly or more than slightly b.itchy wife then you NEED TO KEEP YOUR TERRITORY intact and by your territory I mean
a)friends
b)hobbies
c)some free time

Sometimes you may want to concede for sake of balance of power but NEVER give power to woman in relationship. Been there, done that, didn't end well for me.

You may be unhappy because you don't know how to maintain your ground in marriage - you need to learn that or you need to leave the marriage. Those are your options.

I have barbell and dumbells. I do workout at home. Most of time she acts jealous. She never let me go to somewhere alone without her. I feel that I live when I am at work. And you are right. It never solved our problem whenever I fight her. It is best to go away and keep quite. I love her but for example I'd like to have anal sex but I can't because she doesn't want it. And sometimes I want her to give me a massage when I feel very tired after work, she doesn't accept it and say that she find it tiring to give a message.

By the way, thanks for your interest to my post.

 

[backseatjuan]

It’s a short term feeling man, after you go through it things will normalize. You had love, the feeling went away, now you feel this way. She feels the same, man. You two need a vacation as soon as possible.

The things you been told here, do not listen, of all the places advice on marriage from bunch of Don Juans is a bad advice.

Give it time.

 

[dbayraktar]

It’s a short term feeling man, after you go through it things will normalize. You had love, the feeling went away, now you feel this way. She feels the same, man. You two need a vacation as soon as possible.

The things you been told here, do not listen, of all the places advice on marriage from bunch of Don Juans is a bad advice.

Give it time.

No thanks necessary.

I'd say - try to maintain your zone and frame - if you want to gym - go as stated above, with friend or with her - if you want to spend time alone - do it.

Don't ask for permission. You are a man and she is not your boss. Respect her and taught her how to respect your time and your privacy - because there still is something like privacy in relationship. If you won't find a way for yourself to feel and act like a man in relationship then there's a decent chance that you might do something stupid (like cheating) as this feeling about cheating might be really feeling about freedom of being yourself and freedom of choice (sex never is only about sex itself, it's psychological for men as well).

If you will stay strong and happy in your relationship this urge to cheat may go away but it's connected with your own feeling of well being in relationship and your emotional needs fulfilled.

Stay strong and do what your intuition tells you to do.

I don't have any male friend. I know this sounds bad, but I had friends. She didn't want me to hang out my male friends after got married because she doesn't trust any of them. She thinks that they will turn me a badass. I also doesn't want her to hang out her friends, because her friends were really b*tch. She doesn't do anything what I don't want. But she also doesn't want me to do anything which she doesn't want in return. She threats me to do something that I don't want if I do anything that makes her angry or jealous. This is the reason why I don't like the idea of being married to someone. I never loved the idea of being in an LTR. I have married suddenly because of some special reasons. Anyway, I will follow your advices and will try to be a real man.

 

[dbayraktar]

It’s a short term feeling man, after you go through it things will normalize. You had love, the feeling went away, now you feel this way. She feels the same, man. You two need a vacation as soon as possible.

The things you been told here, do not listen, of all the places advice on marriage from bunch of Don Juans is a bad advice.

Give it time.

I will try and give it a time. I'll watch my feelings. I don't want to cheat her for a quick f-ck with some other hot girls. But I want it. I will try to control myself and will follow @markfromeurope 's advices.

Thanks man.

 

[backseatjuan]

She didn't want me to hang out my male friends

She thinks that they will turn me a badass.

I also doesn't want her to hang out her friends, because her friends were really b*tch.

Honestly she looks like a btch. No offence plz.

Does she have an android phone?

 

[dbayraktar]

She thinks that they will turn me a badass.

Honestly she looks like a btch. No offence plz.

Does she have an android phone?

She had an android phone but I bought a new iPhone for her 2 weeks ago.

 

[backseatjuan]

You can install on android wire tapp app, on iphone it is broken. Could be good idea. I’m not a believer into trust as you can tell, I only trust the game, my wife is the game,I’m married to the game. I like wire tapping ltrs, for deep insight that I can’t get otherwise.

 

[sosousage]

She had an android phone but I bought a new iPhone for her 2 weeks ago.

wtf bro stop beta buxxin

 

[sosousage]

You can install on android wire tapp app, on iphone it is broken. Could be good idea. I’m not a believer into trust as you can tell, I only trust the game, my wife is the game,I’m married to the game. I like wire tapping ltrs, for deep insight that I can’t get otherwise.

what, youre hackign your girlfriends devices?

total creepy

 

[The Diver]

She didn't want me to hang out my male friends after got married

Almost every post "She doesn't want you to this, she doesn't want you to that",, What the fu*ck man, you sound like a puppy on a chin, and probably the reason why you feel like that, b'cos you are on a chain. You are the man in the relationship, you are the leader, not the one who should ask permission, this is fuc*king weak.
Find your balls and stop asking her what she allowed you to do, or not to do. Do what you want, go to where you want, and with who you want. (she can tag along if she wants and it suits you, but she should never prevent you from doing your things )
In the beginning, she will kick and cry and use all her heavy ammunition and manipulation tools to gain back control on you, but stick to your guns and don't give up.
She can ***** as much as she wants, you just do your things. Her bitchennes and jealousy are her manipulating tools to keep you in check and under her thumb. if you don't stop it now it'll just get worse.
Start with that, take back control over your life and your relationship and you'll feel immediately the difference in your feeling, and maybe you'll see your marriage in a different, positive light.

 

[sazc]

I don't know. Sometimes I even think about killing myself to end all of my thoughts.

If you talking suicide, I would suggest that you are depressed and need to seek mental health counseling (admitting to them that you have been/are suicidal) and deal with all that BEFORE you make any decisions on your marriage.

You may think that divorcing will "solve" all your issues but, if you are dealing with real depression, you will find that you will get divorced and still feel depressed and suicidal, maybe even more so.

Your depression may have nothing to do with your marriage but you're marriage has been the easiest thing to blame your depression on.

I don't know, I'm not a licensed therapist but deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts. Get your mind right before you make a decision on your marriage.

 

[dbayraktar]

When you're in a marriage or LTR, you will always feel like women are flirting and wanting to bang you. And maybe some are. But it's a matter of perception, i.e., you cannot or should not act on it, so it feels like you're on a diet and someone's laying out all kinds of delicious junk food in front of you.

The reality is, if you get a divorce, you're not going to just fall into bed with these women. You'll still have to work hard, have tight game, have a life mission, etc.

I wouldn't make the decision on those terms. When I was married I felt the same, but there were heavier forces at play than just wanting to spin plates. Questions of freedom, peace of mind, and just peace in general.

Your age is certainly a factor as well. Why did you get married at 22?

She was my sister's best friend. 1 year ago, I started to talk to my sister's friend - her. I already knew her 12 years but we were never like friends or anything... There was a distance between us. I always had dream about her. But she thought that I am not the kind of man she likes. But that time I discovered The Red Pill and I changed my life. I was talking and meeting some girls on Tinder. I had an abundance mentality. I was different. My clothes were even better. I also used to go gym.. She said that she started to see that I changed... She also said that she sees me like a different, more confident man. She started to flirt with me and I was flirting with her too.. Days passed and we had have sex. She was perfect.

Actually we never wanted to marry so early, We didn't even think about marriage. We were just a couple who ****s everyday. Her father was a psychopath man. He discovered that her daughter had a relationship with me and he tried to seperate us. He threatened me to left her daughter. I never did what he asked. He also wanted to kill me. Actually we are not happy but we had a love to each other. Then we married without telling anyone. Because we thought that the only way to be together is stay together and marriage. Otherwise we had to break up because of her father.

 

[marmel75]

When you're in a marriage or LTR, you will always feel like women are flirting and wanting to bang you. And maybe some are. But it's a matter of perception, i.e., you cannot or should not act on it, so it feels like you're on a diet and someone's laying out all kinds of delicious junk food in front of you.

The reality is, if you get a divorce, you're not going to just fall into bed with these women. You'll still have to work hard, have tight game, have a life mission, etc.

I wouldn't make the decision on those terms. When I was married I felt the same, but there were heavier forces at play than just wanting to spin plates. Questions of freedom, peace of mind, and just peace in general.

Your age is certainly a factor as well. Why did you get married at 22?

In fact you will find that MORE women will want to bang you when they know you are taken...its like they want what they can't have...like its dirty or forbidden or taboo...

It can suck at times and can definitely cause you to stray if you let it consume you...

 

[marmel75]

If you talking suicide, I would suggest that you are depressed and need to seek mental health counseling (admitting to them that you have been/are suicidal) and deal with all that BEFORE you make any decisions on your marriage.

You may think that divorcing will "solve" all your issues but, if you are dealing with real depression, you will find that you will get divorced and still feel depressed and suicidal, maybe even more so.

Your depression may have nothing to do with your marriage but you're marriage has been the easiest thing to blame your depression on.

I don't know, I'm not a licensed therapist but deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts. Get your mind right before you make a decision on your marriage.

Low T...the epidemic nobody wants to talk about...hush hush...