"All my losses were lessons.."

[GrowingPains]

Alllllright gents.

Been making a lot of mistakes lately. And I'm not about to get down about it and be bitter. Instead we gon' hunker down and get better.

Whenever I feel like I'm not behaving/thinking like a DJ, I'll post it here with the intention of learning from the mistake and not making it again.

Yesterday I called a girl to set up a date. She was interested in person and during the phone call. In person she was smiling, on the phone she was giggly. So said let's meet up tomorrow evening. She asked what time because she's supposed to be meeting a friend. Cool, people have friends. I messed up in saying "any time in the evening works, I just have to get some studying done first." She said shell let me know. It was at that moment that I knew... I. Fvcekd. Up. Lol. So I said alright and we hung up.

Now, obviously I'm interested in this girl. But in the past, being too interested has not panned out well - as you may suspect. So I went to the big fella to see what he had to say. And after watching the video, I should've said something to the effect of "It's all good, you've got plans so we'll just do something another time. I'll just do something with my friends." That way I wouldn't be in this sitting duck position I'm in giving her all this power. I'm not going to text her to see what time she came up with. That will only reinforce her perception of me as a low value man with no options. I will text my friends and make plans. If she hits me back, sorry tuts, you missed your shot. Better luck next time.

Now, I'm probably going to want to text her and let the inner AFC out throughout the day. Butfvckalldat. I'll just come back and peep this thread if I feel that way. It's likely that I'll see her again around campus, as I've seen her numerous times before actually approaching her. And if she's so lucky that we do run into each other again, maybe she'll get some of this charm.

Be breezy.

 

[lamath]

Details man, dont worry about small stuff like that. sweathing stuff like this is what makes you turn afc.

 

[marmel75]

These situations only matter when a girl is on the fence about you. If she has high IL saying something like this would be completely irrelevant.

Which is why its always better to be dealing with women that have high IL.

 

[GrowingPains]

I've found that my inner game is trash.

I'm fine before and after I get the numbers. Confident. Energetic. Focused on priorities and tasks at hand.

But as soon as I send that first text, I start increasingly breaking down. Checking my phone. "Will she respond?" "Was what I said okay?". Full blown AFC. Trying to calm my mind but I find myself still checking. Having to get this girl. I attribute part of this to my personality. Type A, wanting everything to go the way I want it to all the time.

But I attribute the rest of it to not having solid inner game, real confidence, not being on my purpose as intently as I once was.

This is an example of not having a true abundance mindset. Which I should have, I see 20 new beautiful women a day. I get 5+ numbers a week. But they're not converting into dates and plates.

Gonna think about this one some more, but this is something that needs to be nipped in the bud for sure.

A true effort to change my mindset is in order.

 

[lamath]

I've found that my inner game is trash.

I'm fine before and after I get the numbers. Confident. Energetic. Focused on priorities and tasks at hand.

But as soon as I send that first text, I start increasingly breaking down. Checking my phone. "Will she respond?" "Was what I said okay?". Full blown AFC. Trying to calm my mind but I find myself still checking. Having to get this girl. I attribute part of this to my personality. Type A, wanting everything to go the way I want it to all the time.

But I attribute the rest of it to not having solid inner game, real confidence, not being on my purpose as intently as I once was.

This is an example of not having a true abundance mindset. Which I should have, I see 20 new beautiful women a day. I get 5+ numbers a week. But they're not converting into dates and plates.

Gonna think about this one some more, but this is something that needs to be nipped in the bud for sure.

A true effort to change my mindset is in order.

You know what you should do about 1st txt break down, is send it before you know you wont have much time to access to your phone for a while.
Before entering a work meeting, a class, playing some team sport, a movie etc

Then for a while your mind is elsewhere.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Details man, dont worry about small stuff like that. sweathing stuff like this is what makes you turn afc.

+ 1

Spam through the reddit red pill reads. Definitely scan with a virus protection software.

Enjoy the decline by Aaron Clarey and bachelor pad economics. The game by Neil strauss. Mystery method.... The basics are OG. Compliance is key. High interest equates to compliance. No ambiguity.

Enough exposure to pickup, gane, red pill, and pulling baaaaae will rewire your being. Start here.

Proceed from the place of Being "life's too boring not to try."

^^^^
GOAT status

 

[GrowingPains]

Being too forward and lowering interest level unnecessarily:

This has happened a couple times. The most recent time being a tinder interaction. I got the number, she was very excited about hanging out. Her responses were not brief and she would ask me things. Decent interest level. I texted and told her I wanted to check out this place near her, she wasn't available and countered for the following weekend. I said I'll have to see as a friend is coming to visit for my bday. She said no problem and happy early bday. Then I said "Thanks, I accept late bday lap dances btw so don't stress".

In hindsight, this was unnecessary. She didn't need some overt comment to let her know I'm interested in her sexually. Interest level tanked. Women aren't oblivious. Lesson here is just to play it cool. It was just a joke, but not appropriate at this time in the interaction. There hadn't been enough rapport to merit it. And in the same vein, not high enough interest.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I think this video might really help you out:

 

[GrowingPains]

@marmel75 @DEEZEDBRAH

I agree that one should want to deal with women with high IL. And I have been thinking about this interest level thing a bit lately.

Marmel, you suggest only dealing with women with high IL. Which implies, and feel free to clarify, you only pursue women who show you high IL. If that's true, then is it also true that if a woman has low IL, you just next her? There's a lot of conflicting advice in the seduction community and to a newbie like myself, it's hard to distinguish between what I think is right - because I'm still learning. If the woman has low IL, do you try to raise it? One example of conflicting advice would be AMS suggesting to only go for women that give choosing signals but then having/making videos that suggest how to raise her interest level.

DEEZED, I'm not afraid to try anything. I be in the trenches daily. I'm simply sharing my failures as a reminder to myself and for everyone else to learn from and comment on. Since you suggested a lot of PUA material, I'm curious what you think about raising IL. You also suggested that high IL is key, but from a different standpoint it seems. Do you try to raise her interest level? I've listened to The Game. I've seen some old Mystery videos. But at the end of the day, all that stuff is just too much to think about and I'd prefer to just be interesting and let women see that by removing my inhibitions.

 

[nicksaiz65]

@marmel75 @DEEZEDBRAH

I agree that one should want to deal with women with high IL. And I have been thinking about this interest level thing a bit lately.

Marmel, you suggest only dealing with women with high IL. Which implies, and feel free to clarify, you only pursue women who show you high IL. If that's true, then is it also true that if a woman has low IL, you just next her? There's a lot of conflicting advice in the seduction community and to a newbie like myself, it's hard to distinguish between what I think is right - because I'm still learning. If the woman has low IL, do you try to raise it? One example of conflicting advice would be AMS suggesting to only go for women that give choosing signals but then having/making videos that suggest how to raise her interest level.

DEEZED, I'm not afraid to try anything. I be in the trenches daily. I'm simply sharing my failures as a reminder to myself and for everyone else to learn from and comment on. Since you suggested a lot of PUA material, I'm curious what you think about raising IL. You also suggested that high IL is key, but from a different standpoint it seems. Do you try to raise her interest level? I've listened to The Game. I've seen some old Mystery videos. But at the end of the day, all that stuff is just too much to think about and I'd prefer to just be interesting and let women see that by removing my inhibitions.

I've had many of those exact same questions myself so I'll be interested in hearing what the other members think.

I believe AMS said in his book(if you haven't read it you should) that the whole point of dating is to raise a lukewarm interest level, because fvcking a high interest level woman is easy or something like that.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

@marmel75 @DEEZEDBRAH
I agree that one should want to deal with women with high IL. And I have been thinking about this interest level thing a bit lately.

There's no substitute for high interest level. Women will claw out the eyes of every man, women, and child to get to the alpha male. Old school MM, Mystery beats compliance to death. Game is one's ability to break the ice, spike interest levels, and pull having acquired compliance. Its knowing when to push, pull or next.

Marmel, you suggest only dealing with women with high IL. Which implies, and feel free to clarify, you only pursue women who show you high IL. If that's true, then is it also true that if a woman has low IL, you just next her? There's a lot of conflicting advice in the seduction community and to a newbie like myself, it's hard to distinguish between what I think is right - because I'm still learning. If the woman has low IL, do you try to raise it? One example of conflicting advice would be AMS suggesting to only go for women that give choosing signals but then having/making videos that suggest how to raise her interest level.

In terms of ROI (return on investment), theres nothing comparable to high interest. If noob status, stay in your lane. Compliance equates to high interest. Flaky, no show, ghosting, excusrs, LMR, low libidi, low sex drives means #next!

Get more experience. You can test the waters as you level up.

DEEZED, I'm not afraid to try anything. I be in the trenches daily. I'm simply sharing my failures as a reminder to myself and for everyone else to learn from and comment on. Since you suggested a lot of PUA material, I'm curious what you think about raising IL. You also suggested that high IL is key, but from a different standpoint it seems. Do you try to raise her interest level? I've listened to The Game. I've seen some old Mystery videos. But at the end of the day, all that stuff is just too much to think about and I'd prefer to just be interesting and let women see that by removing my inhibitions.

Its not about thinking.

There's a lot of rubbish pickup now a days. Old school MM, read Mystery MM. Read the collaboration with love drop. Check the Julien manifesto. Watch ten game. Watch blue print. After ten yrs of pickup, this is a joke. You know what to do. When to push, pull or next. High interest rate is indicative of compliance.

Get past approach anxiety. Stay on the grind. Do what Julien suggests, minimum three approaches per day. Stay in your lane. You want Ws. Wins. Refine approach with exp. Check the Samuels journalist exp youtube with Julien Blanc. 100% of guys can't do that. He is an outlier. Enough exposure to pickup, to women, and you get confident.

The rational male book is bang on. He's far from charismatic or charming the way a good pua is but he connects the dots. The ego he has is off putting and the call outs are a waste of time by the brand imho. He points to the truth. A guy like Mystery who has game but is blubbering over a tramp. Trp is real world. Game is about Being in the knowing. Get there. I don't do no LMR destroyers. Not in this day and age or era. Low sex drive means #next! Moreover, new girls are turning 18 everyday.

Yes, step your game up kuz but get paper right. Hindsight vision is 20/20, if i had to fo over again, entrepreneurship i would have called All In on. Read Way of the Superior man by David Deida. Focus on the hero's journey, on your purpose and path in life. Acquire resources, lifestyle, and avoif bpd women. Ironically enough, if i already took a different path, likely be bamgef up by divorce rape. After a decade of pickup, theres no going back. You see girls and female nature as is. Not how you wish it to be.

Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday and tomorrow, hotter girls are too.

 

[The_411]

In anything it’s good to review and rehash to fix things. The issue comes when you are constantly dying to change things to fit situations rather than just acknowledging that you misread interest.

Of course it also depends on your objectives. For a one night lay or a one off it is more about making the most of your window.

For long term it is much more about high IL.

If you are not already categorizing girls for what they can be in a honest fashion you need to get started.

Most girls can be categorized as quickly as women make the decision about guy and sex.

Be honest and stop putting girls who are good for one offs into the LTR category.

 

[shouldbefun]

+ 1

Spam through the reddit red pill reads. Definitely scan with a virus protection software.

Enjoy the decline by Aaron Clarey and bachelor pad economics. The game by Neil strauss. Mystery method.... The basics are OG. Compliance is key. High interest equates to compliance. No ambiguity.

Enough exposure to pickup, gane, red pill, and pulling baaaaae will rewire your being. Start here.

Proceed from the place of Being "life's too boring not to try."

^^^^
GOAT status

You think reddit redpill is cancer ?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

You think reddit redpill is cancer ?

I think reddit is cancer for the most part but, like i said, i subscribe to the Aaron Clarey bachelor pad economics and enjoy the decline. As gor TRP, a decade of chain gunning cold approach, spinning plates, and getting baaaaae will red pill you in ways readily reading a book cannot. I highly suggest that you read rational male and several times over. 99.9999 % will regress back to blue pill beta cuck provider. Its not until you are truly forged in the fire that one transcends.

I like RMG, rollo, rich Cooper, 21, etc but in terms of actual application, I am all in on game. I like Goldmund and George Bruno who seem to have the least amount of ego. Rollo is bang on about hypergamy and female nature. Still, its not my first rodeo. Everybody has an agenda. This is another thing to monopolize and why not parlay the time to resurgence of masculinity.

The better approach and time spent is following David Deangelo aka Eben Pagan, double your dating, "attraction isn't a choice." The man never acknowledges the competition nor Dares waste any time making call outs. Rollo is calling out rsd, mgtow, tfm, and others.

Cancer? No. Similar to mgtow, trp is another route and alternative to the cuck fest society and female logic of playing house. Forgive me for saying but, I am skeptical to any man married in 2019 especially when supposedly redpill aware. More so when hearing a man married epiphany phase. Or worse, hunter who preaches red pill but married after being cucked. Not sure if this is real life right?


Why stop at mgtow or red pill? Why not black pill? As in, enjoy the demise, watch the world burn, and live on your terms. Chain gunning pulling baeeeees, live minimalist, freelance or side hustle, and check in or out as you may. M6 two cents but I digress.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

In anything it’s good to review and rehash to fix things. The issue comes when you are constantly dying to change things to fit situations rather than just acknowledging that you misread interest.

Of course it also depends on your objectives. For a one night lay or a one off it is more about making the most of your window.

For long term it is much more about high IL.

If you are not already categorizing girls for what they can be in a honest fashion you need to get started.

Most girls can be categorized as quickly as women make the decision about guy and sex.

Be honest and stop putting girls who are good for one offs into the LTR category.

Is it misread interest or attention *****s?

Fence sitter or "haha but, no"!!!

AMS recently made a vblog for the topic.

Nicely put on "window." perfect analogy.

With peak high interest, you can skip the window or any of the following. Some women digg your swagger /sway/aesthetics etc.

At 30, zero ****kkks given. #Deezed!

I am kicking dumpty off her pedestal. I am sorting out these approval junkies and attention *****s.

Obv, more ROI in high interest girls but, I still hit on baeeeees. I still have a flirt. I pull.

With time, man becomes a curmudgeon, and patience is on empty. I go 80/20 - high interest for ROI and the rest is for sport. Minimum 3x approach per day. No excuses. Upped to 5x in the new year. That's 35 per week, likely more on weekends. Think analytics over monrhs, years, decade etc.

Its not about any one particular girl but the cultivation of Being That Guy which unfortunately takes time. Outcomes dependent on aesthetics/SMV/game /resources + playing the hand you are dealt.

The best possible way to make it difficult is really going at it. Balls to the wall. Obv, don't go full retard but sorting out this aspect of life is OG. Nobody is above the process and divorce rape and cucking awaits even the best playboy who slips from grace.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Is it misread interest or attention *****s?

Fence sitter or "haha but, no"!!!

AMS recently made a vblog for the topic.

Nicely put on "window." perfect analogy.

With peak high interest, you can skip the window or any of the following. Some women digg your swagger /sway/aesthetics etc.

At 30, zero ****kkks given. #Deezed!

I am kicking dumpty off her pedestal. I am sorting out these approval junkies and attention *****s.

Obv, more ROI in high interest girls but, I still hit on baeeeees. I still have a flirt. I pull.

With time, man becomes a curmudgeon, and patience is on empty. I go 80/20 - high interest for ROI and the rest is for sport. Minimum 3x approach per day. No excuses. Upped to 5x in the new year. That's 35 per week, likely more on weekends. Think analytics over monrhs, years, decade etc.

Its not about any one particular girl but the cultivation of Being That Guy which unfortunately takes time. Outcomes dependent on aesthetics/SMV/game /resources + playing the hand you are dealt.

The best possible way to make it difficult is really going at it. Balls to the wall. Obv, don't go full retard but sorting out this aspect of life is OG. Nobody is above the process and divorce rape and cucking awaits even the best playboy who slips from grace.

They sent her for the playboy like the shotgun assassin in the movie "scarface".

 

[GrowingPains]

So I ended up calling her to follow up. Which is what I said I wouldn't do. That action exposed some... desperation/weak will/lack of integrity in my opinion. I said I wasn't going to do something and then I did it.

She responded that she was busy that weekend and that maybe we could do the next weekend. So I said 'okay let's tentatively say 'this day' and we'll worry about the details later. Cool?" She never responded.

So I chalked it up to lost interest. No problem.

I saw her in the dining hall a couple times and made eye contact. I just smiled confidently. She didn't say anything or reciprocate my smile. Said 'hi' once to which she said 'hi' back and quickly looked away. These things verified her lost interest, to me.

So 11 days later she responds to my text saying she was busy with interviews but she's still free if I want to meet up this weekend. I understand you were busy, but you could've been courteous enough to let me know and we could just reschedule. But now I'm busy, so I tell her that I'm busy and I could do next weekend. I saw some discussion in another thread where @guru1000 was cited to reinforce that what should be considered is your intent. I considered this in my response to her. Because what I'm trying to overcome, and why I'm writing this post, is making sense of my feelings/thoughts rationally and having the strength to follow through on what I deem rational.

My intent was to keep myself on track with my priorities: studying for school. I have decided to give this everything I've got and I'll be damned if I let a chick get in the way of that. And I've already got 2 dates this weekend so a 3rd would just annoy/stress me. I was being truthful, I was busy. But my intent was also to let her know that she isn't my priority. I didn't like that she just decided to ignore me for a week+ and then out of nowhere thinks we can just reschedule. She was not acting worthy of my time and attention, so she'd have to wait. All of this sounds great now that I'm typing it out and allowing myself to get out of my head.

But the challenge is that she's the hottest prospect that I have right now. And when I saw her in those leggings and sports bra the other day... geeze. The head really starts to interfere with the head, yknow. I do want to see her again, but not at the expense of my success and dignity. I want her to do the chasing since I feel disrespected. We'll see if it happens.

Two things:
- Realization: I feel like I have and abundance mindset, because I can think these thoughts. But the fact that I want to go back on it makes it clear that it isn't cemented. I think it takes actually having abundance to cement it.

- Question: In the event she doesn't ask me when I'm available, would it be 'wrong' for me to reach out to her mid-week next week if she doesn't put any effort in to make it happen?

 

[Mazer]

@marmel75 @DEEZEDBRAH

I agree that one should want to deal with women with high IL. And I have been thinking about this interest level thing a bit lately.

Marmel, you suggest only dealing with women with high IL. Which implies, and feel free to clarify, you only pursue women who show you high IL. If that's true, then is it also true that if a woman has low IL, you just next her? There's a lot of conflicting advice in the seduction community and to a newbie like myself, it's hard to distinguish between what I think is right - because I'm still learning. If the woman has low IL, do you try to raise it? One example of conflicting advice would be AMS suggesting to only go for women that give choosing signals but then having/making videos that suggest how to raise her interest level.

DEEZED, I'm not afraid to try anything. I be in the trenches daily. I'm simply sharing my failures as a reminder to myself and for everyone else to learn from and comment on. Since you suggested a lot of PUA material, I'm curious what you think about raising IL. You also suggested that high IL is key, but from a different standpoint it seems. Do you try to raise her interest level? I've listened to The Game. I've seen some old Mystery videos. But at the end of the day, all that stuff is just too much to think about and I'd prefer to just be interesting and let women see that by removing my inhibitions.

High Interest from the start or NEXT. How do you determine high interest after just one date you ask? You get at least a passionate kiss close on date #1 and she texts you a few days after your date. I never reach out after the first date and if they don’t I next. I could show you hundreds of examples where the woman reached out to me after first date and she became a plate.

 

[shouldbefun]

So I ended up calling her to follow up. Which is what I said I wouldn't do. That action exposed some... desperation/weak will/lack of integrity in my opinion. I said I wasn't going to do something and then I did it.

She responded that she was busy that weekend and that maybe we could do the next weekend. So I said 'okay let's tentatively say 'this day' and we'll worry about the details later. Cool?" She never responded.

So I chalked it up to lost interest. No problem.

I saw her in the dining hall a couple times and made eye contact. I just smiled confidently. She didn't say anything or reciprocate my smile. Said 'hi' once to which she said 'hi' back and quickly looked away. These things verified her lost interest, to me.

So 11 days later she responds to my text saying she was busy with interviews but she's still free if I want to meet up this weekend. I understand you were busy, but you could've been courteous enough to let me know and we could just reschedule. But now I'm busy, so I tell her that I'm busy and I could do next weekend. I saw some discussion in another thread where @guru1000 was cited to reinforce that what should be considered is your intent. I considered this in my response to her. Because what I'm trying to overcome, and why I'm writing this post, is making sense of my feelings/thoughts rationally and having the strength to follow through on what I deem rational.

My intent was to keep myself on track with my priorities: studying for school. I have decided to give this everything I've got and I'll be damned if I let a chick get in the way of that. And I've already got 2 dates this weekend so a 3rd would just annoy/stress me. I was being truthful, I was busy. But my intent was also to let her know that she isn't my priority. I didn't like that she just decided to ignore me for a week+ and then out of nowhere thinks we can just reschedule. She was not acting worthy of my time and attention, so she'd have to wait. All of this sounds great now that I'm typing it out and allowing myself to get out of my head.

But the challenge is that she's the hottest prospect that I have right now. And when I saw her in those leggings and sports bra the other day... geeze. The head really starts to interfere with the head, yknow. I do want to see her again, but not at the expense of my success and dignity. I want her to do the chasing since I feel disrespected. We'll see if it happens.

Two things:
- Realization: I feel like I have and abundance mindset, because I can think these thoughts. But the fact that I want to go back on it makes it clear that it isn't cemented. I think it takes actually having abundance to cement it.

- Question: In the event she doesn't ask me when I'm available, would it be 'wrong' for me to reach out to her mid-week next week if she doesn't put any effort in to make it happen?

I see the Bootcamp is helping you after all good good.

I mean we all are practicing so I say, just to let you know her reaching out is good. The girl may have had some other stuff on her mind so thats why she didnt reach out to you.
I mean you did tell her you were busy and you suggested a next weekend, so its her part now to say yes/no.

Its not wrong to reach out to her but its not the best way. Shes reaching out, let her decide, why do you want to force something ?

 

[beforeimgone]

Alllllright gents.

Been making a lot of mistakes lately. And I'm not about to get down about it and be bitter. Instead we gon' hunker down and get better.

Whenever I feel like I'm not behaving/thinking like a DJ, I'll post it here with the intention of learning from the mistake and not making it again.

Yesterday I called a girl to set up a date. She was interested in person and during the phone call. In person she was smiling, on the phone she was giggly. So said let's meet up tomorrow evening. She asked what time because she's supposed to be meeting a friend. Cool, people have friends. I messed up in saying "any time in the evening works, I just have to get some studying done first." She said shell let me know. It was at that moment that I knew... I. Fvcekd. Up. Lol. So I said alright and we hung up.

Now, obviously I'm interested in this girl. But in the past, being too interested has not panned out well - as you may suspect. So I went to the big fella to see what he had to say. And after watching the video, I should've said something to the effect of "It's all good, you've got plans so we'll just do something another time. I'll just do something with my friends." That way I wouldn't be in this sitting duck position I'm in giving her all this power. I'm not going to text her to see what time she came up with. That will only reinforce her perception of me as a low value man with no options. I will text my friends and make plans. If she hits me back, sorry tuts, you missed your shot. Better luck next time.

Now, I'm probably going to want to text her and let the inner AFC out throughout the day. Butfvckalldat. I'll just come back and peep this thread if I feel that way. It's likely that I'll see her again around campus, as I've seen her numerous times before actually approaching her. And if she's so lucky that we do run into each other again, maybe she'll get some of this charm.

Be breezy.

We aren't breezy bro. We are predators. We fvck then we chuck. If she curves you again tell her to piss off. Then hit her up whenever you want to see her again. Wash and repeat until it works or she ignores you