Beginner Questions about the Rational Male

[TechnoScotch]

Hello,

Just listened to The Rational Male, and I am unclear on a few things, so if anyone can point me to other posts that perhaps answer them, many thanks.

1. Rollo says that the fact that I am non monogamous should be implied, but never overtly communicated to the women. But what if they ask directly?
2. If I am spinning plates by being non monogamous, does that mean I have to accept that the women I am dating are also non monogamous? Is it a legitimate position to have, that while I am non monogamous, I expect the women I date to be monogamous?

 

[Crown]

1. You lie or avoid the question.
2. The only thing you should expect from a plate is sex.

 

[zekko]

Rollo says that the fact that I am non monogamous should be implied, but never overtly communicated to the women. But what if they ask directly?

I've always thought this piece of advice was a bit of BS, because if a girl has any wits about her at all, she's going to ask you directly.
Now this does depend on the situation, and what her agenda is, but whatever.

So Crown says, lie or avoid the question, and I'm sure most here would probably agree with that. But I still say if she has any wits at all, she's not going to accept you dodging the question, she'll keep asking until she gets a straight answer. Some here would say to tell the truth, and I'm good with that, but you do risk losing the girl.

So you're supposed to imply that you are non monogamous, because this is supposed to make you look more attractive. But then they say don't let her know for sure, because she might check out or think you are just want to use her for sex. Which makes you wonder what the point is of implying that you're non monogamous in the first place? It's either attractive or not, so pick a side.

 

[Magotrox]

If you're dating other women, just say YES. Most women already know when you are dating other women, and, in fact, they know that most men like to do it. She's testing you. Lie will just make you a lier kid. Besides, woman are competitive by nature, and they know that good men are not looking for commitment at first. So, she will fight for you if she think you are worth of it.

About spinning plates, if you're a man, you will not care too much about what she do in her time without you, c'os spinning plates is about sex. However, if you find a girl you think is good for monogamous, the first thing you must do is to know if she is interested in it too. Then, just stop seeing the others and be happy. If something go wrong, back to the spinning game.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

But what if they ask directly?

Answer directly. It may work on some women, it may not work on others.

Answer indirectly. It may work on some women, it may not work on others.

Lie. It may work on some women, it may not work on others.

What WON'T work is getting PUA advice and expecting it to work as easily and repeatedly as a cake recipe.

does that mean I have to accept that the women I am dating are also non monogamous? Is it a legitimate position to have, that while I am non monogamous, I expect the women I date to be monogamous?

You can expect anything you want. But if you are clear about being non-monogamous while expecting a women to be monogamous, you'd better have a sh*tton of value and status,

Since you're listening to PUA advice and asking this question online, this is unlikely.

The more value you have, (status, frame social skills, etc.) the more stuff you can get away with.

The less you have, the less you can get away with.

Beggars, as they say, can't be choosers.

 

[Magotrox]

Answer directly. It may work on some women, it may not work on others.

Answer indirectly. It may work on some women, it may not work on others.

Lie. It may work on some women, it may not work on others.

What WON'T work is getting PUA advice and expecting it to work as easily and repeatedly as a cake recipe.

Right. In the end, YOU are the one who have to make the choice. No guarantees. MY choice was to be direct about it, and this was how I keept the plates spinning good. What you gonna choose to do is up to you.

Beggars, as they say, can't be choosers.

Never heard about an enchanted beggar winning the best ladies, just princes. In fact, the archetype of a prince is a good north to go after. Be as close as you can be of a prince. This will give you, not just options, but a better life. Don't get me wrong: when I say "prince", I'm not talking about fiction, but of a real man that can be built: strong (mentaly and physically), rich, intelligent, wise, holder of the best and useful knowledge, and with a manly behavior. It's not about what nature gave you, but, instead, what you DO with what the nature gave you.

 

[Magotrox]

In a nut: be the self-made man. Like they say, an image says more than 1000 words.

 

[RangerMIke]

1. Rollo says that the fact that I am non monogamous should be implied, but never overtly communicated to the women. But what if they ask directly?

If you are non-monogamous your behavior will naturally demonstrate this. You really can't pretend to be a guy that dates more than one woman and fool women. They always know. But what he is saying is to behave in a way that shows you have lots of options... the best way to do this is to always be willing to walk away when you aren't getting what you want... don't be agreeable without reciprocity, and keep busy with your own life.

2. If I am spinning plates by being non monogamous, does that mean I have to accept that the women I am dating are also non monogamous? Is it a legitimate position to have, that while I am non monogamous, I expect the women I date to be monogamous?

Yes. Just own the fact you are just one of HER plates and be okay with that. IMO this is the important part of successfully dating many chicks. But do not let her talk about her other dudes when she is with you. What she does with other dudes is none of your business... just like it is not her business what you do with other chicks.

 

[zekko]

But what he is saying is to behave in a way that shows you have lots of options...

That's what always drove me crazy about Rollo. If that's what he meant, why doesn't he say that instead of playing around with this "Imply that you're spinning plates, but evade any questions" stuff? He also said that you should flirt with women in front of your wife in order to make her jealous, which I have mixed feelings about. I agree that some casual flirting is a good thing, and can help her see you in a refreshed light, but there is a line you shouldn't cross.

 

[Trump]

Rollo says that the fact that I am non monogamous should be implied, but never overtly communicated to the women. But what if they ask directly?

Depends on who “they” are.

HB9: “What do you think about monogamy?”
You: “It’s great. I love it. My goal and plan is to be with ONE women forever.

HB5: “What do you think about monogamy?”
You: “I don’t think it’s natural. I think it’s social construct created by society.”

If I am spinning plates by being non monogamous,

You don’t spin plates by being non monogamous. Spinning plates means you are not monogamous.

‘What are you doing this evening?”
“Im going to be non monogamous to spin plates”
‘Doesn’t exercise and looking good lead to spinning plates?”
‘No no no man. You have to be non monogamous, that will lead to spinning plates.”
‘Rock on!”

does that mean I have to accept that the women I am dating are also non monogamous?

No.

You can tell her you are allowed to sleep with as many hot girls as you like, and she can only be in love with you.

Is it a legitimate position to have, that while I am non monogamous, I expect the women I date to be monogamous?

Sure. But don’t expect it. Girls today don’t seek commitment, family and love like they used to. The seek entertainment, excitement, pleasure. She wil monogamous until the next shiny man comes along.

 

[Ranger]

I've always thought this piece of advice was a bit of BS, because if a girl has any wits about her at all, she's going to ask you directly.

Smart women will not ask that question. They will do it indirectly.

Rollo is right. If you blatantly blurt it out, it’s over. In most cases. But a lot depends upon how you set it up. Never admit or deny. Never tell her how many women youve slept with. No matter what.
I always say, “I’m not sure. Wasn’t keeping score. ” And it’s true.

A woman’s mind is not A-B in the same way ours is. A direct answer deflates everything and she’s gone. It’s none of her business who else you are seeing or how many women youve slept with.
Once her imagination deflates...you’re done.

 

[Ranger]

That's what always drove me crazy about Rollo. If that's what he meant, why doesn't he say that instead of playing around with this "Imply that you're spinning plates, but evade any questions" stuff? He also said that you should flirt with women in front of your wife in order to make her jealous, which I have mixed feelings about. I agree that some casual flirting is a good thing, and can help her see you in a refreshed light, but there is a line you shouldn't cross.

You’ve missed some things or just glossed over them. Rollo does NOT tell you what you should do. He merely points a phenomena out. How you handle it is up to you. Rollo does absolutely nothing for PUA. And rightly so.

 

[zekko]

Smart women will not ask that question. They will do it indirectly.

If they ask you indirectly, and you evade the question, what's the next step? If they really want to know they will ask you directly.

Rollo does NOT tell you what you should do. He merely points a phenomena out.

This entire thread is based on the OP saying "Rollo says that the fact that I am non monogamous should be implied, but never overtly communicated to the women". That sure sounds like advice to me. If you're saying Rollo doesn't give advice, I disagree. He billed himself as The Wife Whisperer, after all. I agree he doesn't command you to do something, if that's what you're getting at.

 

[Ranger]

Dominant men don’t have problems with Rollo’s book. The entire thing makes sense once they read it. Same with Pook.
They have their own concepts too of course. But there are no disagreements as it is evident.

There are other men on here who easily find criticisms. But those men have deeper issues.
Rollo and Pook’s philosophies come up against deeply imbedded feminine imperative tendencies and propensities.

Why would a man feel the need to explain himself to a plate? In what way does she feel she deserves an answer to any of her questions? Why do women not ask me those questions yet ask some men that question? How do you explain that?

 

[zekko]

Dominant men don’t have problems with Rollo’s book. The entire thing makes sense once they read it. Same with Pook.

Rollo and Pook obviously both have large, influential places in the manosphere. That doesn't mean every word out of their mouth is gospel. Even Einstein wasn't right 100% of the time. I'm not going to agree with anyone 100% of the time, if I did I might as well start following a cult leader.

My point was that IF the girl really wanted to know, she wouldn't settle for the evasive answers, and would ask you directly. That doesn't mean you have to tell her. If she asks you directly, you have four options that I can see:
1) Lie
2) If you're spinning plates, own it
3) Tell her it's none of her business
4) Walk away on the spot

 

[Magotrox]

Rollo and Pook obviously both have large, influential places in the manosphere. That doesn't mean every word out of their mouth is gospel. Even Einstein wasn't right 100% of the time. I'm not going to agree with anyone 100% of the time, if I did I might as well start following a cult leader.

My point was that IF the girl really wanted to know, she wouldn't settle for the evasive answers, and would ask you directly. That doesn't mean you have to tell her. If she asks you directly, you have four options that I can see:
1) Lie
2) If you're spinning plates, own it
3) Tell her it's none of her business
4) Walk away on the spot

Did Tom Cruise ever lied about how many women he was dating? Did Brad Pitt would be telling that "is not her business"? Would these guys walk away from the HB!?!?

Or these guys would joke with them girls, with a wicked smile, followed by a kiss? Or, maybe, they would be hitting the girls butt with a slap, saying "curious little bad girls don't have my attention". Or, maybe, theses girls would not DARE to ask them, c'os they KNOW they are TOP RATED MEN, chased by FLOCKS of chics? What BEHAVIOR should a man, PROUD OF HIMSELF, have? You choose!

 

[zekko]

Or these guys would joke with them girls, with a wicked smile, followed by a kiss? Or, maybe, they would be hitting the girls butt with a slap, saying "curious little bad girls don't have my attention". Or, maybe, theses girls would not DARE to ask them, c'os they KNOW they are TOP RATED MEN, chased by FLOCKS of chics? What BEHAVIOR should a man, PROUD OF HIMSELF, have? You choose!

That would fall under the "evade the question/don't overtly communicate" category. I was talking about what if the girl asks directly and won't let it go - which was the question the OP was asking.

 

[Magotrox]

That would fall under the "evade the question/don't overtly communicate" category. I was talking about what if the girl asks directly and won't let it go - which was the question the OP was asking.

Sorry! I thought is was a DISCUSSION forum.

 

[zekko]

Sorry! I thought is was a DISCUSSION forum.

I didn't discourage you from discussing anything, and no need to apologize. I was just explaining my post, which you quoted and used examples from.
Sure, start with the smiling and teasing, as you said.
But iI wasn't describing an "either/or" situation. It was "if that doesn't work, then these are your options".

 

[Magotrox]

Ok! Life goes on. Way to go!