Reading "The Rational Male" - EXPOSED!!

[MindPurify]

Hi all. First time post here after hearing about the forum during my reading of "The Rational Male".
I was recommended the book by a friend some time ago and I stupidly mentioned the book to my fiancee, as I was gobsmacked my friend would read such a thing. And of course the beta in me was all, "I would never be like that with you".
Now here I am reading it... and my fiancee knows!! I went down the path of explaining that it is a behavioral science book about men and women differences and understanding mindsets blah blah blah.

Basically... am I now screwed now that she knows I am reading it?
I guess I am just wanting to read and learn how to be a bit more desirable to my SO. I acknowledge I am VERY beta with how I think and what I do with my SO.

 

[fanatic22]

Your mindset is setting you up for years of misery. If you’re “screwed” it’s for the better because now you can enter into a new relationship as a man instead of as a provider. It sounds like you let her run your life. The point of reading the Rational Male is that it’ll make you happier and give you power and control in future relationships. As a consequence, you become more desirable, but that should not be the main goal.

 

[zekko]

Generally speaking, I wouldn't advertise that you are reading such material. But since it's out in the open, just act like it's no big deal (because it isn't). Women read their Cosmo articles and Relationship books, we can read a book on masculinity if we want. In other words, if you make it into a big deal, she'll think it's a big deal. If you don't make it into a big deal, she probably won't.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Not good especially seeing as how you seem to be directly sucked into her reality. You talk about her like she’s your mother, not your fiancée or someone your romantically involved with. That is a terrible position to be in in which there is practically no way to recover.

 

[MindPurify]

Your mindset is setting you up for years of misery. If you’re “screwed” it’s for the better because now you can enter into a new relationship as a man instead of as a provider. It sounds like you let her run your life. The point of reading the Rational Male is that it’ll make you happier and give you power and control in future relationships. As a consequence, you become more desirable, but that should not be the main goal.

Thanks fanatic - good perspective.
Does she "run my life"? No, I have my life and she has hers. We have a good balance to make sure we are not in each others' back pockets all the time (I wanted to travel to Egypt in 2017 and she let me do that). I have my independence and she has hers. HOWEVER... I do believe I let her emotions run me quite a bit. This is my biggest concern. I need to back off a bit, otherwise I feel I am far too easy to control and manipulate in this sense and I end up being a hindrance.

 

[MindPurify]

Generally speaking, I wouldn't advertise that you are reading such material. But since it's out in the open, just act like it's no big deal (because it isn't). Women read their Cosmo articles and Relationship books, we can read a book on masculinity if we want. In other words, if you make it into a big deal, she'll think it's a big deal. If you don't make it into a big deal, she probably won't.

Cheers - yeh I definitely didn't make it a big deal and I won't be bringing it up again.
The reason she clued onto it was because apparently I "had changed the way I spoke to her lately" and was being more "rude". Hrmm.

 

[MindPurify]

Not good especially seeing as how you seem to be directly sucked into her reality. You talk about her like she’s your mother, not your fiancée or someone your romantically involved with. That is a terrible position to be in in which there is practically no way to recover.

Ouch.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Ouch.

Yeah it sucks but it is what it is. Be glad you found out about Rollo and this forum while you’re young. Better than when you’re 50.

 

[MindPurify]

Yeah it sucks but it is what it is. Be glad you found out about Rollo and this forum while you’re young. Better than when you’re 50.

Yeh I'm utilising it as a bit of a self-improvement exercise for myself and then hopefully the benefits follow.
I'm very fortunate to have a girl who trusts me, respects me and let's me do my own thing (as I have instilled this into her long ago). But it's the emotional side of things I need to improve on (i.e. dealing or NOT dealing with her emotions and not letting them run/ruin me!).

 

[Spaz]

On the off chance that you're not NN here's something for you to ponder;

When a man is in a woman's frame and completely immersed within the feminine imperative you'd be afraid of anything that displeased her or women in general.

And no women in the world over will ever be attracted to a man that's basically a welcome mat for women to walk all over.

You should pose this question to yourself, how can ur fiance feel protected when you can't even stand up for yourself against her ?

 

[guru1000]

Right now choose an I-don't-give-a-fvuck attitude: read it, practice it. Keep a copy of it on your nightstand or in the kitchen...in plain view where she can read it. Make zero mention of it unless she mentions it first, and make zero apologies when you speak your opinions about it.

That’s my man. Stick around buddy

 

[MindPurify]

You want to be more desirable and you want to be more of an alpha with your future wife.

Do this:

Right now choose an I-don't-give-a-fvuck attitude: read it, practice it. Keep a copy of it on your nightstand or in the kitchen...in plain view where she can read it. Make zero mention of it unless she mentions it first, and make zero apologies when you speak your opinions about it.

As per what Espi said?
Considering I'm reading it on my eReader, it'll be tough to have it "lying around" At least she knows about it and perhaps I can use that to my advantage. I don't envisage it will be brought up again, but I will be practicing it.

 

[Tilex]

On the off chance that you're not NN here's something for you to ponder

What's NN?
Nude Neanderthal?
Nice Newbie?
Naked Neighbor?
Nocturnal Night Elf?

I'm not familiar with that abbrev.

 

[MindPurify]

What's NN?
Nude Neanderthal?
Nice Newbie?
Naked Neighbor?
Nocturnal Night Elf?

I'm not familiar with that abbrev.

Neither actually! Negative Nancy?

 

[Spaz]

What's NN?
Nude Neanderthal?
Nice Newbie?
Naked Neighbor?
Nocturnal Night Elf?

I'm not familiar with that abbrev.

Naughty Ninja - Joey

 

[Roober]

guess I am just wanting to read and learn how to be a bit more desirable to my SO.

I suggest you read this line 100 times and consider your relationship and your current position in it. Are you sure this is the right snowflake?

And to answer your question, the first three rules of fight club, "do not talk about fight club"

 

[redskinsfan92]

Welcome to the forum. You'll enjoy it. Lot of good tips and advice. A few guys post their struggles. Some too often. Won't mention any names. Some on here are very harsh in their advice, but it is for the best.

I also recommend this audiobook. It's a compilation of well written posts by a guy who used to write on this forum a decade or so ago.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hi all. First time post here after hearing about the forum during my reading of "The Rational Male".
I was recommended the book by a friend some time ago and I stupidly mentioned the book to my fiancee, as I was gobsmacked my friend would read such a thing. And of course the beta in me was all, "I would never be like that with you".
Now here I am reading it... and my fiancee knows!! I went down the path of explaining that it is a behavioral science book about men and women differences and understanding mindsets blah blah blah.

Basically... am I now screwed now that she knows I am reading it?
I guess I am just wanting to read and learn how to be a bit more desirable to my SO. I acknowledge I am VERY beta with how I think and what I do with my SO.

In terms of red pill godfather and awareness, there's nothing more red pill. Even after a dozen reads, cucks are still holding her purse, are raisin Chad's baby, and playing house with cratered SMV.

Hell even Rollo admitted to marrying his wife not at top form SMV but epiphany phase. Everyone is quick to pedal theur bull****. Few march to 5he beat of thrur own drum.

Its fantastic content. Rollo each weak chips away at hus past in rmg. It sounds as though a bpd girl drove him to trp and set him off ob this path. That or hus wife is cracking the whip of getting her more resources.

You are over thinking it. Don't leave pickup books out. If a girl i am wirh brings uo or is reading feminists jargon, i do my Houdini disappearing act.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Welcome to the forum. You'll enjoy it. Lot of good tips and advice. A few guys post their struggles. Some too often. Won't mention any names. Some on here are very harsh in their advice, but it is for the best.

I also recommend this audiobook. It's a compilation of well written posts by a guy who used to write on this forum a decade or so ago.

I recommend Shawn T Smiths book too.

 

[MindPurify]

I suggest you read this line 100 times and consider your relationship and your current position in it. Are you sure this is the right snowflake?

And to answer your question, the first three rules of fight club, "do not talk about fight club"

Appreciate your response. I probably didn't choose my wording well in my sentence there. It's the intimate stuff I want to bring out in us a bit more, and I feel I need to 'up my game' in this area to instill genuine desire. Life is busy. But then... everyone is busy! It's no excuse.