Why do very few guys want more out of game than just the dating aspect of it, why ignore social life?

[drakeisfire]

Its weird, ironic in fact that we say "don't put ***** on the pedestal" yet so many men are only obsessed with getting laid or getting good with women when it comes to game. I have looked into the work of guys like RSD's Luke and I start to ask myself, why don't MORE men aspire to want things out of game such as:

1. Higher quality friends that you don't have to be embarrassed about introducing girls to.

2. Access to better social events and better social circles.

3. Actually having a social life than being some lonely pickup artist that creeps on girls.

I mean I just do not understand this. When men think of game they are so narrow-minded and only focus on women, ironically the same idiots saying not to put ***** on the pedestal are ONLY obsessing with ***** when it comes to game, they are not trying to get better socially, get better friends, get better lifestyles and meet better people.

I don't get why more gurus and experts out there are not talking about how to build an awesome lifestyle with cooler friends and better people as opposed to obsessing over nonsense such as how to move or what to say to a woman or where to grab her, it is so pointless, especially since higher quality women want you having friends.

 

[bigdave17]

I make friends everywhere I go and very high quality friends too. My main best friend is worth like 10 million.

my lifestyle is phenomenal


I still have no dating life

 

[drakeisfire]

I make friends everywhere I go and very high quality friends too. My main best friend is worth like 10 million.

my lifestyle is phenomenal


I still have no dating life

Well you're a chronic BSer anyways so no one really takes you seriously on here or believes much of what you say, go back to whining about being Armenian, I think you are mentally sick.

 

[Glassguy]

Well you're a chronic BSer anyways so no one really takes you seriously on here or believes much of what you say, go back to whining about being Armenian, I think you are mentally sick.

I read this and thought "who the hell is he talking to?".

Then I remembered that I put Big Dave on ignore lol. So it made sense.

 

[bigdave17]

Well you're a chronic BSer anyways so no one really takes you seriously on here or believes much of what you say, go back to whining about being Armenian, I think you are mentally sick.

my best friend's 9000 square foot mansion on the lake

If you would like, I can post pics of us partying at concerts, festivals, bars, clubs, sports events, vacations in Miami, Vacations in NYC, vacations in California, etc....

 

[GrowingPains]

Dave... You have nothing to prove to anyone. If you did it, cool. Happy for ya.

OP, aren't the rest of these things advocated for by being high value (which is what a lot of people advocate)? By putting the focus on yourself and having women as a compliment and not the focus of your life, doesn't that mean doing the things you listed as ignored? Just wondering. To me, the improvement that I put into myself results in the things you described and more, which then results in women too. Maybe it's because making good friends doesn't require you to pull back or wait 5,6,7 days to text,overcome approach anxiety (most of the time) or think about getting that person into bed. It's easier, less to worry about, hence less people read up on how to do it. I'm sure people are concerned with it.. it's why books like How to Win Friends and Influence People exist.

 

[The_411]

Its weird, ironic in fact that we say "don't put ***** on the pedestal" yet so many men are only obsessed with getting laid or getting good with women when it comes to game. I have looked into the work of guys like RSD's Luke and I start to ask myself, why don't MORE men aspire to want things out of game such as:

1. Higher quality friends that you don't have to be embarrassed about introducing girls to.

2. Access to better social events and better social circles.

3. Actually having a social life than being some lonely pickup artist that creeps on girls.

I mean I just do not understand this. When men think of game they are so narrow-minded and only focus on women, ironically the same idiots saying not to put ***** on the pedestal are ONLY obsessing with ***** when it comes to game, they are not trying to get better socially, get better friends, get better lifestyles and meet better people.

I don't get why more gurus and experts out there are not talking about how to build an awesome lifestyle with cooler friends and better people as opposed to obsessing over nonsense such as how to move or what to say to a woman or where to grab her, it is so pointless, especially since higher quality women want you having friends.

They do, but people either do not want to put in the work or don’t understand the value of the long game.

Social networks are extremely important.

 

[Chi Town]

I read this and thought "who the hell is he talking to?".

Then I remembered that I put Big Dave on ignore lol. So it made sense.

Same here.....

 

[evan12]

Its weird, ironic in fact that we say "don't put ***** on the pedestal" yet so many men are only obsessed with getting laid or getting good with women when it comes to game. I have looked into the work of guys like RSD's Luke and I start to ask myself, why don't MORE men aspire to want things out of game such as:

1. Higher quality friends that you don't have to be embarrassed about introducing girls to.

2. Access to better social events and better social circles.

3. Actually having a social life than being some lonely pickup artist that creeps on girls.

I mean I just do not understand this. When men think of game they are so narrow-minded and only focus on women, ironically the same idiots saying not to put ***** on the pedestal are ONLY obsessing with ***** when it comes to game, they are not trying to get better socially, get better friends, get better lifestyles and meet better people.

I don't get why more gurus and experts out there are not talking about how to build an awesome lifestyle with cooler friends and better people as opposed to obsessing over nonsense such as how to move or what to say to a woman or where to grab her, it is so pointless, especially since higher quality women want you having friends.

If you read Mistirey book , he actually require from you to be a social person first, also in general , if you cant start conversation with the old man on the street , you cannot start it with the girl . however most guys have challenge with getting girls , so that is why the focus is there .

 

[IKO69]

Because they don't know any better. If they focused more on the latter as you said, the former would improve by default. You can kind of think of it as building a house on a ****ty foundation - the house must eventually come down because people failed to put in the work.

 

[NSX-R]

I thought something like this was normal. I guess different cultures and beliefs exist in the other side of the Atlantic.( I’m in Europe)

It’s narrow minded to go out only to meet some girls. Enjoy yourself, dance , talk with people, observe your surroundings, there are literally thousand things to do . It doesn’t always have to lead into sex.

I used to have a friend who’s always wanted to go out and pick up women. Guess what ? He never banged a single woman not to mention at the end of the night he was a miserable being.

If you enjoy yourself and the company of your surroundings you will be more happy and people will notice.

 

[thelad]

but I relocated abroad to a place where I knew no one. It's forced me to be much more social. I realized before anything I'd need to meet people and be comfortable doing it

this is happening to me at the moment what did you do to improve things socially and increase your value to them. especially if ur a new face?

 

[Who Dares Win]

I believe many guys are not as social as the general opinion thinks, many guys would be happy spending their friday and saturday night playing videogames and relaxig.

The only reason they go out to "socialize" is that its necessary in order to get girls, so the answer is that they go straight to what their final aim is; they socialize as a tool not as an activity they enjoy.

 

[fastlife]

I think it really depends on where you're starting. If you don't have a circle of 5 or 6 male friends that you trust 100%, who hold you accountable, and who you can have a good time with, that should be your priority #1. I've been super lucky in that regard.

But then we get in a chicken and egg scenario. If you're not bringing anything to the table, why would a high quality social circle take you in? There's still a value proposition--and what I've found is the easiest way to get into those circles is to be a guy who brings girls around or who at least seems like he could.

Then the other part of that is that each social circle you're a part of has a shelf life. Other than your core group of lifelong friends, and even the dynamics of those relationships will change as guys get married, move away, work more demanding jobs etc., any given social circle only really exists as long as it fulfills the needs of the people in it. As soon as enough people in that group's lifestyles change to where they are no longer interested in what that social circle provides, then it becomes a 'meet for lunch once every blue moon' kind of deal.

Also, if you're relying on a social circle to meet girls, guess what happens? Eventually all the girls in that circle get older, acquire more baggage, etc. This often happens quicker than you'd expect, but a group of hot girls can go to a group of girls who really don't do it for you in about 3 years. A group of fun guys can go to a group of homebodies in about 3 years. Eventually you meet all the girls that are connected to that social circle; eventually you've gone to all the parties, events, etc.; eventually everyone moves on.

That's not to say you shouldn't enjoy those while they last and that they don't enrich periods of your life or that you shouldn't develop the social skills to where you can quickly join new ones or build them from scratch. But it is to say that you shouldn't get to attached or invest too much time in anyone social circle. Also, after college you know how you join a social circle to begin with? Cold approach lol. So for me, that's the more valuable, more reliable skill set.

 

[Mike32ct]

I believe many guys are not as social as the general opinion thinks, many guys would be happy spending their friday and saturday night playing videogames and relaxig.

The only reason they go out to "socialize" is that its necessary in order to get girls, so the answer is that they go straight to what their final aim is; they socialize as a tool not as an activity they enjoy.

Correct. Plus, the OP is coming from an extrovert frame.

Introverts aren’t typically that interested in having a social circle or “crew” to hang out with.

A few times in the past, I would go out with say three other guys. It sucked. We kept having to change venues because, no matter where we went, we couldn’t make everybody happy.

I like going solo or with one friend. Two max, if I know him well.

 

[highSpeed]

Its weird, ironic in fact that we say "don't put ***** on the pedestal" yet so many men are only obsessed with getting laid or getting good with women when it comes to game. I have looked into the work of guys like RSD's Luke and I start to ask myself, why don't MORE men aspire to want things out of game such as:

1. Higher quality friends that you don't have to be embarrassed about introducing girls to.

2. Access to better social events and better social circles.

3. Actually having a social life than being some lonely pickup artist that creeps on girls.

I mean I just do not understand this. When men think of game they are so narrow-minded and only focus on women, ironically the same idiots saying not to put ***** on the pedestal are ONLY obsessing with ***** when it comes to game, they are not trying to get better socially, get better friends, get better lifestyles and meet better people.

I don't get why more gurus and experts out there are not talking about how to build an awesome lifestyle with cooler friends and better people as opposed to obsessing over nonsense such as how to move or what to say to a woman or where to grab her, it is so pointless, especially since higher quality women want you having friends.

Short answer is, I don't know about you guys, but the short answer is, who the hell has the time? Career takes up the bulk of the time. Working out takes time too. Those two things alone take up at least half the time. Sleep, preparing food, family (even if you're not married with kids), it takes up a good bit of the rest of the time. Where do you fit in all this free time to create this giant social network of friends who are available to go out and just hang out?

 

[ubercat]

I'm definitely more on the introvert side. But I still have the bare minimum half a dozen friends. You make time to do that it's not optional. And HS look at the bright side that would get you more time away from your wife. of course bonus points if you can get Wifey into some activity where u might make friends. E.g. I drag my girlfriend along to badminton every so often. that gives me a badminton pass out when she can't be bothered.

Most of my friends came from work. A couple from sports groups. So the obvious answer is be more friendly at the places you have to go to anyway. Yes you will get knock backs and run into to many *******s. the tricky part is where you cross over from work to social activities. Many budding new friendships will fall over then. Shrug your shoulders walk it off and keep going.

Not talking to HS anymore. He's an experienced guy.

But for the socially awkward crowd at work.

1. always starts every meeting with a couple of lines of social chit chat. Shows people you're not just a workbot.

2. Ramp up the chat at at times when it is most acceptable. in the morning while people are settling down and getting their morning coffee is a great time to chat. Before lunch ask people what they having for lunch or just after ask them what they had. A lot of people will tell you about some great new place or some diet they're on. at the end of the day sometimes people are just Killing until Home time. or if people are generally having a chance in your pod join in say a couple of lines. Of course don't engage people in chat during the core activity times or when they're really busy.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Its weird, ironic in fact that we say "don't put ***** on the pedestal" yet so many men are only obsessed with getting laid or getting good with women when it comes to game. I have looked into the work of guys like RSD's Luke and I start to ask myself, why don't MORE men aspire to want things out of game such as:

1. Higher quality friends that you don't have to be embarrassed about introducing girls to.

2. Access to better social events and better social circles.

3. Actually having a social life than being some lonely pickup artist that creeps on girls.

I mean I just do not understand this. When men think of game they are so narrow-minded and only focus on women, ironically the same idiots saying not to put ***** on the pedestal are ONLY obsessing with ***** when it comes to game, they are not trying to get better socially, get better friends, get better lifestyles and meet better people.

I don't get why more gurus and experts out there are not talking about how to build an awesome lifestyle with cooler friends and better people as opposed to obsessing over nonsense such as how to move or what to say to a woman or where to grab her, it is so pointless, especially since higher quality women want you having friends.

Post number 1 is already putting women on a pedestal

 

[thelad]

A few times in the past, I would go out with say three other guys. It sucked. We kept having to change venues because, no matter where we went, we couldn’t make everybody happy.

Threes a crowd mate. especially when you have a wannabe alpha in it.