Women who play hard to get: walk away or play ball a little bit?

[jnMissouri]

I see mixed opinions on this forum. Some guys on here say always give S&D if she plays hard to get or walk away. These guys seem to be in the majority.

Then I see others say what I was taught through guru's, basically that highly attractive women get hit on all the time and just as David DeAngelo and others say, they will test you to see if you really are who you say you are or give up at the first sign of resistance, either because you are really weak pretending to be strong, or because they want to make sure you are not just interested in a one night stand. It's the economics of sex. You produce millions of sperm. She has an egg. She's guarded, you're loose...

I like what David D says about this. That women test you to see if you are really interested or not as well as for a variety of other reasons, especially if you are a high value guy and she is very attractive and that you shouldn't give up too easily. That usually if they are really not interested they give more signs that indicate that, whereas whey they are playing hard to get it's always two steps forward, one step back. She give you some hope, moves things forward, then adds a little doubt back. Then you move forward again, and repeat the cycle, if you can read the hints she leaves you accurately (usually there is some sign, the subtext of something she says, such as I can't hang out THIS weekend....as if she can hang out another weekend...if you ask her out again) etc.

So this is the area of dating that I REALLY struggle with. I have tried various techniques, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, depending on the girl. I've tried being direct and making them jealous and it working, then I've also had that backfire on me (like it did recently).

So what's a guy to do? What works on most women, the majority of the time?

 

[Crown]

If you're the one chasing, you're losing. If you're too available, you're worthless.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Please stop listening to David D. He is good for one phrase and that is it. "Attraction is not a choice." I have listened to countless hours of his stuff I got from torrents long time ago and I can tell you... NO.

Do not try to flirt with a cashier by holding on to the money then saying something ****y funny .... just NO.

With all the amazing F buddies I've had in my life I never had to try hard to get them and you just "know" most of the time because you are fjking before you know it.

 

[jnMissouri]

Please stop listening to David D. He is good for one phrase and that is it. "Attraction is not a choice." I have listened to countless hours of his stuff I got from torrents long time ago and I can tell you... NO.

Do not try to flirt with a cashier by holding on to the money then saying something ****y funny .... just NO.

With all the amazing F buddies I've had in my life I never had to try hard to get them and you just "know" most of the time because you are fjking before you know it.

Strange, I've had great success with his stuff. Especially the C&F. I like how he explains the psychology of dating. Once I started applying his techniques I started having massive success with women. I'm not sure he is right about how to handle the playing hard to get. That's why I'm asking, but it seems a lot of men have had wild success with his material. I know it changed my life, I went from being able to get dates but always getting the you're such a nice guy speech to having women sleep with me after a couple of emails, coming over to my place or them inviting me to theirs.

Maybe the answer to this is just to avoid wasting time with women who play hard to get, focus on the ones who don't? It's just that it seems highly attractive women will play hard to get with high value men.

 

[R.U.G.]

You can reach out once and a while, but she should be chasing you. She must enter your frame, not vice-versa.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Strange, I've had great success with his stuff. Especially the C&F. I like how he explains the psychology of dating. Once I started applying his techniques I started having massive success with women. I'm not sure he is right about how to handle the playing hard to get. That's why I'm asking, but it seems a lot of men have had wild success with his material. I know it changed my life, I went from being able to get dates but always getting the you're such a nice guy speech to having women sleep with me after a couple of emails, coming over to my place or them inviting me to theirs.

Maybe the answer to this is just to avoid wasting time with women who play hard to get, focus on the ones who don't? It's just that it seems highly attractive women will play hard to get with high value men.

I guess he is better than the current state of PUA witch is disgusting.

I still prefer you read the new book Laws of Human Nature BY Robert Green ... very modern ultra powerful actual useful stuff. It helps if you have read all his other books such as 48 Laws.

If David D works for you then by all means go Fvck Urself (obviously c and f)

 

[jnMissouri]

I guess he is better than the current state of PUA witch is disgusting.

I still prefer you read the new book Laws of Human Nature BY Robert Green ... very modern ultra powerful actual useful stuff. It helps if you have read all his other books such as 48 Laws.

If David D works for you then by all means go Fvck Urself (obviously c and f)

hahaha. Yeah his stuff did wonders for me. I went from getting dates but always being the nice guy who never made a move and was always complimenting women then sad when they dumped me for another guy to busting their balls with c/f and not complimenting, always escalating, etc.

I got to the point where I would message women and meet for sex a couple emails later, sex at public places, girls didn't even know my name or care, etc. I became the guy they were banging rather than being the guy who took her out to dinner.

 

[jnMissouri]

Also I've read 48 laws, but I don't find it practical for dating. Scenario based dating guru advice is perfect for me. How to meet women online, how to get the number, setup the date, tease her don't compliment her, how to deal with common situations, how to escalate, etc. I find that works GREAT for me.

I'm actually creating an outline for the key steps in dating and what works for me so that I just follow that outline...

 

[jnMissouri]

Occam's razor means she is just seeing other men, not playing hard to get.

Who's razor? What are you talking about?

 

[Chi Town]

Reach out from time and time, maybe once every couple of weeks, treat her as a backup.

 

[touma.akagi]

Please stop listening to David D. He is good for one phrase and that is it. "Attraction is not a choice."

Glad Jr high me didn't buy his book.

 

[Dash Riprock]

You can reach out once and a while, but she should be chasing you. She must enter your frame, not vice-versa.

Yes, in theory.

Average looking girls MAY (50/50) chase if they like you enough. BUT, the operative term here is "highly attractive" girls. They will RARELY chase under any circumstance (they just don't have to), unless they're bat s*hit crazy.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Strange, I've had great success with his stuff. Especially the C&F. I like how he explains the psychology of dating. Once I started applying his techniques I started having massive success with women. I'm not sure he is right about how to handle the playing hard to get. That's why I'm asking, but it seems a lot of men have had wild success with his material. I know it changed my life, I went from being able to get dates but always getting the you're such a nice guy speech to having women sleep with me after a couple of emails, coming over to my place or them inviting me to theirs.

Maybe the answer to this is just to avoid wasting time with women who play hard to get, focus on the ones who don't? It's just that it seems highly attractive women will play hard to get with high value men.

David D's info is good and mostly accurate. He saved my as*s along with Doc Love in the early 2000's. I still read DD's newsletters which are emailed to me. It's mostly recycled info, but repetition is the mother of skill. He's big on C&F, not being a wussy, taking the lead, being assertive, having purpose and a life outside of women, not ever supplicating, all common sense stuff that most guys surprisingly lack.

 

[lamath]

Playing hard to get and too many **** test Means Low IL imo

You dont know Ocams razor educate yourself man its common knowlege

 

[guru1000]

Here’s the thing fellas:

You pursue until sex. Then you can ease back and pursue less and let her come to you more. All the women whom I posted text messages with who chased me hard, chased after the sex, not before.

If you have not had sex with her yet, you have little negotiating power in prompting chase.

As to OP’s dilemma: women who are interested in you don’t play hard to get. You are essentially trying to negotiate her lack of desire by pursuing rather than understanding she’s not that interested in you.

In this instant, you either don’t waste your time on her as she merits neither your time and attention or tell to reach out to you when she’s free and then dismiss her.

 

[SoSuave666]

There is a very fine line between hard to get and low interest. Hard to get is a strategy....low interest is a state. It can be very difficult to navigate these waters.

Usually your gut is right. Was she sucking your **** and dirty talking when you were ****ing last night and now has gone cold for a few days? She is playing hard to get. Did she meet you for a lunch and talk about work and her male “friends” the entire time and now isn’t talking to you? Low interest.

There are lines even more blurry than that. Did she **** you after a lunch date but is now distant? Did you feel a really good vibe and she was **** granny but wouldn’t **** and is now distant?

The action that will ALWAYS give you the answer is to be distant and let her initiate. If you **** up (playas **** up) and initiate contact and she’s receptive, it’s ok to proceed with caution.

 

[wifehunter]

TLDR..You play into her game, you will pay.

 

[lamath]

Here’s the thing fellas:

You pursue until sex. Then you can ease back and pursue less and let her come to you more. All the women whom I posted text messages with who chased me hard, chased after the sex, not before.

If you have not had sex with her yet, you have little negotiating power in prompting chase.

How far should a man trying to get a women thats playing hard to get go?

There a fine line between trying to get a women or being desperate to get a women. Sometime can be hard to calibrate.

 

[guru1000]

How far should a man trying to get a women thats playing hard to get go?

There a fine line between trying to get a women or being desperate to get a women. Sometime can be hard to calibrate.

I just updated my previous post to answer this question. You don’t waste time on women who play hard to get. If she desires you, she will make it easy, otherwise close the rapport.

You ask for the date, anything other than a yes or counter-offer is your cue to move on. The only exceptions here are extenuating circumstances, for example, if she had an emergency, you had previously insulted her and she is angry/emotional, or perhaps she was recently burned and cautious. If unsure whether extenuating circumstances apply, leave her with,” I see you have much on your plate. Reach out when you have free time to get together.”

 

[SoSuave666]

I just updated my previous post to answer this question. You don’t waste time on women who play hard to get. If she desires you, she will make it easy, otherwise close the rapport.

You ask for the date, anything other than a yes or counter-offer is your cue to move on. The only exceptions here are extenuating circumstances, for example, if she had an emergency, you had previously insulted her and she is angry/emotional, or perhaps she was recently burned and cautious. If unsure whether extenuating circumstances apply, leave her with,” I see you have much on your plate. Reach out when you have free time to get together.”

there's some supplication here on your part. Recently burned and cautious? You insulted her and she's angry emotional?

Why do you believe a woman when she say she is burned? Why do you insult a woman instead of playfully neg her? If she got you emotional enough to insult her you are in a feminine state.

The only exception I make is emergencies.