Glassguy
Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2016
- Messages
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- Reaction score
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- Age
- 47
I have received quite a few DM's on here lately about texting (traditional text, social media messaging, etc). Let me start by saying that just a few years ago my text game was crap compared to what it is now. At this point I feel as if my text game is just as strong as my approach in real life. The reason is this- I just applied how I would approach a woman in real life to my text game. I dont try to be overly funny, I just be myself and stay very chill and laid back.
There are a few things that I do when I initiate a message to a chick. Key words- when I initiate the message:
1.) You must understand that you sending the message to her will be considered your "approach" in her eyes. She knows why you are messaging her unless she has some type of mental developmental issues. Having said that, would you approach a woman in real life and instantly tell her how great she looks or any other direct form of validation/compliments? Geez I hope not. Instead you would approach with a simple "hey how are you" and turn it into casual, laid back conversation if you know how to approach women. Sending initial long messages, giving immediate compliments about HER, etc will all come across as a thirsty guy who has no options.
Just keep it cool and simple. That alone will separate you from the other dozen guys sniffing around in her inbox (if she is attractive) because the truth is, most guys are in chase mode and drooling at the mouth when they message women. Women can tell this instantly. In my initial message I keep it cool and almost always ask a question. The ball is in her court as to whether or not she wants to respond back to answer it. You can generate the question from something you see in her profile (OLD) or a mutual friend or some thing that you see she enjoys (positive topic to bring up) on her fb/IG profile.
2.) Your next response will be based on her reply to your message and HOW she replies to your message. If you approached a woman in a club, played it cool and you could instantly not feel as if the woman was happy or excited that you approached her, would you continue talking to her? I hope not. Same with texting/messaging. If a woman replies back with a really short response and I feel no enthusiasm from her, I will just bail out right there. Without saying anything.
If she comes back with something upbeat, asks me a question (IOI) and seems interested in messaging me, I will proceed. Its the same as approaching a woman in a club. If the approach easily translates into a good conversation, I will stay engaged. If it doesnt, I will simply move on. If she does not respond to my initial message, she will never hear from me again UNLESS she picks the conversation back up. Very simple.
3.) You messaged her. She seemed enthusiastic in her response. Now its time to move the conversation to a "date" or meeting up. If she is interested and you do this very casually she will be ok with it.
Put it in perspective:
Me: Hey so and so. I see that we have several mutual friends and you like (horseback riding/rock climbing/whatever). How often do you get the chance to go?
Her: Oh Hi! Yes I love (whatever). I normally go a few times a month but I wish I could go more often. Do you also like to (whatever)?
Me: Absolutely although I am not as great at it as I am other things. Its definitely something I would like to get into more often.
Her: Thats awesome! Maybe we will have to get together sometime and do it.
Me: Sounds good. I am really busy and have to run, but I am going to such and such place on Thursday evening for a drink and (darts/whatever). Why dont you join and we can talk more about it then.
Her: Sounds good. What time?
Me: I will see you there at 8
Her: See you there
This was an actual texting convo with a chick 2 weeks ago. Notice I am not coming across as a thirsty man with no other options. Very casual in approach, no compliments, easily transitioned to meeting up......left her to wonder exactly what my intentions are with her (mystery) yet showed interest (didnt over pursue). Outcome indifferent.
On the other hand:
Me: Hey so and so. I see that we have several mutual friends and blah blah blah
Her: Yeah
Me: Cool. Do you get to go horeseback riding often?
Her: Not really
Me: Gotcha
If that is the response that I get..... its time to bail out. If she reaches back out fine, if not I am not wasting any more time because she is showing little to no interest in messaging me. Wont hear from me again unless she reaches out.
If a chick messages me first, "waves" at me on FB, etc., its a totally different ballgame but I still sort of follow the same script. If she initiated, I take that as HER approach and I dont have to determine whether or not she has physical attraction. At that point its all about me just playing it cool and letting her pursue.
Over the past 2 years I have really had great success through social media platforms. It is super easy as long as the woman has some physical attraction. Social media, OLD and every other platform is tool. I believe all should be utilized but if you are not having success on one of them do not get discouraged.
I get with way more women through social media than I ever did on OLD.
There are a few things that I do when I initiate a message to a chick. Key words- when I initiate the message:
1.) You must understand that you sending the message to her will be considered your "approach" in her eyes. She knows why you are messaging her unless she has some type of mental developmental issues. Having said that, would you approach a woman in real life and instantly tell her how great she looks or any other direct form of validation/compliments? Geez I hope not. Instead you would approach with a simple "hey how are you" and turn it into casual, laid back conversation if you know how to approach women. Sending initial long messages, giving immediate compliments about HER, etc will all come across as a thirsty guy who has no options.
Just keep it cool and simple. That alone will separate you from the other dozen guys sniffing around in her inbox (if she is attractive) because the truth is, most guys are in chase mode and drooling at the mouth when they message women. Women can tell this instantly. In my initial message I keep it cool and almost always ask a question. The ball is in her court as to whether or not she wants to respond back to answer it. You can generate the question from something you see in her profile (OLD) or a mutual friend or some thing that you see she enjoys (positive topic to bring up) on her fb/IG profile.
2.) Your next response will be based on her reply to your message and HOW she replies to your message. If you approached a woman in a club, played it cool and you could instantly not feel as if the woman was happy or excited that you approached her, would you continue talking to her? I hope not. Same with texting/messaging. If a woman replies back with a really short response and I feel no enthusiasm from her, I will just bail out right there. Without saying anything.
If she comes back with something upbeat, asks me a question (IOI) and seems interested in messaging me, I will proceed. Its the same as approaching a woman in a club. If the approach easily translates into a good conversation, I will stay engaged. If it doesnt, I will simply move on. If she does not respond to my initial message, she will never hear from me again UNLESS she picks the conversation back up. Very simple.
3.) You messaged her. She seemed enthusiastic in her response. Now its time to move the conversation to a "date" or meeting up. If she is interested and you do this very casually she will be ok with it.
Put it in perspective:
Me: Hey so and so. I see that we have several mutual friends and you like (horseback riding/rock climbing/whatever). How often do you get the chance to go?
Her: Oh Hi! Yes I love (whatever). I normally go a few times a month but I wish I could go more often. Do you also like to (whatever)?
Me: Absolutely although I am not as great at it as I am other things. Its definitely something I would like to get into more often.
Her: Thats awesome! Maybe we will have to get together sometime and do it.
Me: Sounds good. I am really busy and have to run, but I am going to such and such place on Thursday evening for a drink and (darts/whatever). Why dont you join and we can talk more about it then.
Her: Sounds good. What time?
Me: I will see you there at 8
Her: See you there
This was an actual texting convo with a chick 2 weeks ago. Notice I am not coming across as a thirsty man with no other options. Very casual in approach, no compliments, easily transitioned to meeting up......left her to wonder exactly what my intentions are with her (mystery) yet showed interest (didnt over pursue). Outcome indifferent.
On the other hand:
Me: Hey so and so. I see that we have several mutual friends and blah blah blah
Her: Yeah
Me: Cool. Do you get to go horeseback riding often?
Her: Not really
Me: Gotcha
If that is the response that I get..... its time to bail out. If she reaches back out fine, if not I am not wasting any more time because she is showing little to no interest in messaging me. Wont hear from me again unless she reaches out.
If a chick messages me first, "waves" at me on FB, etc., its a totally different ballgame but I still sort of follow the same script. If she initiated, I take that as HER approach and I dont have to determine whether or not she has physical attraction. At that point its all about me just playing it cool and letting her pursue.
Over the past 2 years I have really had great success through social media platforms. It is super easy as long as the woman has some physical attraction. Social media, OLD and every other platform is tool. I believe all should be utilized but if you are not having success on one of them do not get discouraged.
I get with way more women through social media than I ever did on OLD.