Moving forward and juggling more than one plate

[RickTheToad]

Wasn't looking for a gf, just a lady who wouldn't fvck another man. Is that so hard? I guess I am still traumatized from dealing with that STD issue. I was much more freewheeling until I had that experience. Since then, I've been highly conservative on which ladies I have sex with. @Glassguy, I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a beta. Never was. @marmel75, you are correct. I just had downgraded her while looking for other tale. I guess it's something I have learn more on how to do.

Meanwhile you're not getting laid, you're the one posting about it and she is contacting the other guys.

Who won?

I agree that you should not put up with a womans BS. I also believe that if the woman is attractive (and you wouldn't have created all these threads and posts about her if you werent attracted to her) you shouldn't turn down sex. Even if you demote to booty call. Heck she demoted herself and still offered it

You have to establish what you're willing to put up with in the very beginning. You did not. You allowed her to keep coming around. At that point you might as well use her for sex and nothing more. Of course you cant do that if you've already put her in the potential GF category, which you did, and that's why you refused the free pvssy offer.

That's what I dont understand so maybe you can help me.

After all her BS.....she was still good enough to be your GF but not good enough to just fvck?

No one won; so to speak. It me putting my foot down that I am done with her crap and games. Yes, I am aware it was a sh!t test and I refuse to put up with it any longer. Well, I put up with because I was going through my kidney stone surgery and I had no one else. I now have five other ladies that I am starting to see. I will try this rotation theory out and see if I can pull it off. We'll see.

I have a problem. When I make a decision, I stick by it. She wanted me to continue to take her out, entertain her, and pay for everything. Nope, not happening. Pay for her Uber. You have to be fvcking kidding me. This is the first time I've had a lady offer to pay for zero during the relationship or ask me to send her an Uber. That's fvcked up and that is what really turned me off. If a lady wants to be FWB's, you start off like that, you do not downgrade the dude to FWB so she can fvck other dudes. It's not a GF issue, it's a safety issue; at least from my stand point.

Perhaps I am wrong, that's okay. I've been wrong before and I can learn from my mistakes. However, I was looking for an exit where I don't look like a complete d!ckhead, and I took it.

 

[RickTheToad]

Because you didnt reference that it was the same girl you made 50 threads about in OP. Whats your deal? Just say "btw this is the girl I cant stop posting about here are the many posts" and everyone will tell you to dump because you are too emotionally invested in her. You cant be FWB with someone you are emotionally invested in, everyone knows that.

Only three, but thanks for the input.

 

[RickTheToad]

W T F



More than that.

Don't you have something more important to do than post in my thread? Re-arrange your sock draw? Masturbate? Make some dinner? Please go do something else.

 

[Glassguy]

Wasn't looking for a gf, just a lady who wouldn't fvck another man. Is that so hard? I guess I am still traumatized from dealing with that STD issue. I was much more freewheeling until I had that experience. Since then, I've been highly conservative on which ladies I have sex with. @Glassguy, I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a beta. Never was. @marmel75, you are correct. I just had downgraded her while looking for other tale. I guess it's something I have learn more on how to do.



No one won; so to speak. It me putting my foot down that I am done with her crap and games. Yes, I am aware it was a sh!t test and I refuse to put up with it any longer. Well, I put up with because I was going through my kidney stone surgery and I had no one else. I now have five other ladies that I am starting to see. I will try this rotation theory out and see if I can pull it off. We'll see.

I have a problem. When I make a decision, I stick by it. She wanted me to continue to take her out, entertain her, and pay for everything. Nope, not happening. Pay for her Uber. You have to be fvcking kidding me. This is the first time I've had a lady offer to pay for zero during the relationship or ask me to send her an Uber. That's fvcked up and that is what really turned me off. If a lady wants to be FWB's, you start off like that, you do not downgrade the dude to FWB so she can fvck other dudes. It's not a GF issue, it's a safety issue; at least from my stand point.

Perhaps I am wrong, that's okay. I've been wrong before and I can learn from my mistakes. However, I was looking for an exit where I don't look like a complete d!ckhead, and I took it.

I totally get what your saying. I really do.

I just dont think you're on the right path to get it. JMO.

I've never had an STD but chicks today are shady AF. They will tell you one thing and do another. You can be super picky and still get something.

Wrap it and tap it.

Just to clarify- my rotation is not made up of ONSs or fvck and toss chicks. They are heavily screened and must meet certain criteria that goes beyond looks.

 

[RickTheToad]

I totally get what your saying. I really do.

I just dont think you're on the right path to get it. JMO.

I've never had an STD but chicks today are shady AF. They will tell you one thing and do another. You can be super picky and still get something.

Wrap it and tap it.

Just to clarify- my rotation is not made up of ONSs or fvck and toss chicks. They are heavily screened and must meet certain criteria that goes beyond looks.

I know, I am learning. One can wrap for PIV and PIA, but what do you do about oral? Do you not receive BJs and not go down on the lady? Rather not cut both of those out, but those are two areas that are of great concern for me.

 

[RickTheToad]

You have zero self awareness dude.

Look in the mirror dude. Your posts aren't all in the best of light either Raider fan

 

[SoSuave666]

Why are you taking a potential FWB out for dinner and drinks? If she wants FWB then you invite her over late night or at the most to your crib for a bottle of wine. You paying for Ubers and drinks and meals is your own problem, not hers.

 

[HankHill]

@RickTheToad - I get you man because I think I'm like you. Spinning plates only happens for a while and then we catch feelings, which then causes us to become jealous if she's fvking others. But we really have to see things the way they are not through the rose colored glasses we're wired to do.

It simply boils down to what it is you want and screen women for that. In this case you want her to be exclusive, she doesn't want to be exclusive. So you have two options either walk away or use her for s3x. Using her just for s3x will be very difficult if you've already developed feelings for her (hence you wanting exclusivity). So you're right...dump her find another chick...like your title of thread said 'moving forward...' do that but learn from this and decide how you want to proceed in the future.

I will say this, most quality women will want exclusivity after a couple of months...so keep that in mind as you're screening, if she's not asking for exclusivity in a couple of months she's likely only a booty call so don't catch the feels.

women want to chase. It's the womans job to push for a relationship. The women lose interest.

When she is hooked he pulls away to shock her system and then she comes chasing harder. He can eventually have the relationship if he chooses it when its offered.

I quoted two sentences that sorta contradict. So how do you 'have the relationship if you choose' and keep a woman's interest if all they want to do is chase (after <other> men)?

I ask because I'm at this point with a woman...she is pushing really hard to get me to commit to a relationship. She's great in every way, definitely a gf/LTR material, but I still haven't verbally committed because I'm afraid the minute I 'verbally' commit she'll lose the high from the chase...although I've always had very long LTRs in the past and never thought about it like this so may be I'm self doubting this because i spend too much time on SS lol

 

[Glassguy]

I quoted two sentences that sorta contradict. So how do you 'have the relationship if you choose' and keep a woman's interest if all they want to do is chase (after <other> men)?

I ask because I'm at this point with a woman...she is pushing really hard to get me to commit to a relationship. She's great in every way, definitely a gf/LTR material, but I still haven't verbally committed because I'm afraid the minute I 'verbally' commit she'll lose the high from the chase...although I've always had very long LTRs in the past and never thought about it like this so may be I'm self doubting this because i spend too much time on SS lol

I dont think they contradict at all.

You establish yourself as a man with options from the get go. You start fvcking her and you continue fvcking her. Thats your job. She will eventually get hooked (if you are still a man with options at that point and have done most everything right) and she will bring up the relationship talk.

At that point you can accept or decline. Accept and you are in a relationship in her eyes. Decline and she will either be ok with it or she will leave. Thats the risk.

If you choose to be in a relationship with her, nothing changes on your end. You remain the same guy. The guy you were in the beginning (not thirsty, not desperate, willing to walk away at signs of disrespect, etc) is what she wanted and she knows that guy is still there. She had to (hopefully) work for you and she knows your value. Yes she might not continue the "high" from chasing as hard, but she understands that she is still operating under your initial unspoken terms from how you carried yourself and demonstrated high value/abundance mindset from the beginning.

Guys that think things are going to change once they have "agreed" on a relationship could be right and could be wrong. It only depends on if you remain the guy you were in the beginning or if you start letting her change you and develop a weaker frame.

Does that help/make sense?

 

[Glassguy]

Its not the "relationship" that causes most women to lose interest in guys. Its the change that most guys will allow to happen once a woman gets them into the relationship.

 

[flowtheory]

Its not the "relationship" that causes most women to lose interest in guys. Its the change that most guys will allow to happen once a woman gets them into the relationship.

I know what you mean. But can you elaborate; interested to here your perspective in this.

 

[HankHill]

@Glassguy - thanks. I was taking your previous comment (and I've heard that before) to mean 'the chase' is what keeps her interested and so once she knows she has you the interest is lowered/gone and she's on to the next challenge.

The issue most of us encounter is that things do in fact change when we get into a relationship. Your s3x options are now limited to her (while in the relationship) and that introduces a weakness. So sure you can choose to walk away at the first sign of disrespect but most will 'let it slide' because let's face it it takes time to even build a rotation let alone finding a LTR chick again. So we all have to decide and be realistic about what we consider a blatant disrespect vs. an honest mistake (something she just didn't consider would cause an issue with us).

 

[Glassguy]

@Glassguy - thanks. I was taking your previous comment (and I've heard that before) to mean 'the chase' is what keeps her interested and so once she knows she has you the interest is lowered/gone and she's on to the next challenge.

The issue most of us encounter is that things do in fact change when we get into a relationship. Your s3x options are now limited to her (while in the relationship) and that introduces a weakness. So sure you can choose to walk away at the first sign of disrespect but most will 'let it slide' because let's face it it takes time to even build a rotation let alone finding a LTR chick again. So we all have to decide and be realistic about what we consider a blatant disrespect vs. an honest mistake (something she just didn't consider would cause an issue with us).

Think of it as chasing an animal that is hard to catch. Once you catch it you hold on tight because you (her) might not be able to catch it again.

 

[Glassguy]

I know what you mean. But can you elaborate; interested to here your perspective in this.

I'm not sure what you mean. Is elaboration necessary?

Stay the man you are in the beginning that she worked hard for and she wont go anywhere

 

[R.U.G.]

Tough one here. It was certainly a test from her on how you would react, but you may have gone a bit too far. I say this because you said her last text to you she said reach out if you change your mind. Well, I would had said, let me think about it and let her reach out to you to check back in. It's clear to see she's trying to get control of you, so walking away will, as strange as it sounds, increase her interest. Should you want to screw her again, I believe that wouldn't be a problem. I will bet you by her actions in the past, that she's a hot mess and she will check in with you in a week or two. By that time, you should already have other women in your rotation to replace her. I WOULD accept her back as a plate... The bottom plate and she has to do things to make it up to you. What those things are, well, that's up to you. Now, if you are done with her, then so be it You have one thing going for you here, she apparently likes the sex with you, so she wants to keep the sex going, but she wants to see other men until she finds her price lance-a-lot. You are a bench warmer for the time being, but it's not like an orbiter like you were explaining before. She wants to keep you around, and she feels that her pvssy is enough to do so. That may be why she started to leave the door open for you to still be in her life. It's a slippery slope. If you do entertain her again, you need to set specific rules. If not, this merry-go-round will continue and you'll be posting another zillion threads on the same damn topic.