Moving forward and juggling more than one plate

[Glassguy]

Yeah, makes no sense to me either @Glassguy

OP was too busy trying to needle her and "show her" to do this tho.

This is the end game for a guy who puts a "relationship" at the front of the line instead of understanding how to build a rotation.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The one I see every other Saturday for a full night. We get together around 9, go out for dinner, hit a lounge after, back to her place until morning. About 10 am I get up and go home. We might get together for a a couple of hours here or there in between saturdays, time permitting. Texts are somewhat daily, just to coordinate the quick get togethers. A phone call is pretty rare.

Handyman woman calls me with a need and I tell her when I can make it. This can be once or twice a month if it’s a legitimate job or a string of a bunch of very stupid no effort things just as excuses. Only texts when the need arises. No regular communication.

Out of town woman always informs me weeks ahead of time and I arrange for her to stay with me for the couple of days she’s here. Touch base via text every few weeks or so. Maybe a phone call to discuss arrangements. Not much for the purpose of just chatting.

Outside of that, I do as I please with my time and efforts. Sometimes I focus on my sh*t, sometimes I spend some time on dates. Whatever.

For handyman woman are you having sex everytime you swing through? She couls have you do dozens of hrs of work and not be intimate with you?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes it is every time. I also get paid for the work.

Cool

 

[marmel75]

Yes it is every time. I also get paid for the work.

Maybe I should set something like this up for my software engineering side jobs...

"Hey baby...you want this done its gonna cost you 5K... And you are going to have to query this c0ck" hahahahahaahhaah

 

[RickTheToad]

So let me get this straight:

She was offering her pvssy on a silver platter with no strings attached. Only stipulation was that the 2 of you were not going to be exclusive. You got mad and said no?

I would have been completely fine with it. After all, at this point that's all you should be interested in this chick. Shes a booty call. She offered that and you declined?

Why not still smash her AND be meeting other women? If you find another woman, start smashing her and like hanging out with her more, drop this chick in the process.

What am I missing and why throw away perfectly good pvssy from a chick that you were obviously attracted to?

She said hang out and see other people, not guarantee of sex. Seems it didn't phase her as she was back on the dating site same day as active. Tired of drama the drama regardless.

 

[marmel75]

She said hang out and see other people, not guarantee of sex. Seems it didn't phase her as she was back on the dating site same day as active. Tired of drama the drama regardless.

Hang out = NSA sex, FYI

 

[Chi Town]

So we still can't hang out=so we still can't fvck from time to time.

And you got upset and declined her offer? Wow dude, just wow.

 

[Chi Town]

Hang out = NSA sex, FYI

The fact he didn't understand that says a lot lol

 

[RickTheToad]

The fact he didn't understand that says a lot lol

Actions vs words dude. I'm not becoming an orbiter like her other dudes. Not worth it. I've seen the texts these dudes send her. I may be a bit screwed up, but I am not Big Dave. I am not just wanting to be a second fiddle and fvck her after all the other guys do. It amazes me how many guys a lady can have to fvck them and all are okay with it. I already caught one STD from a lying lady a few years back. Granted, I am clear of it now, I rather not deal with it again if I can avoid. I can and do go out and get ladies. I just have a problem juggling more than one and that puts me in this predicament. I also don't want to drive all the way down to Stamford or New York City just for sex. I'm not 25 anymore, I'm in my late 30's. After 8 - 10 hours days at work, I don't want to sit in a car or train and travel down to do that song and dance.

It makes little sense on Bumble and Match the attractive ladies are in Stamford and New York City, which want to meet, but around Bridgeport, nothing. It sucks.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Actions vs words dude. I'm not becoming an orbiter like her other dudes. Not worth it. I've seen the texts these dudes send her. I may be a bit screwed up, but I am not Big Dave. I am not just wanting to be a second fiddle and fvck her after all the other guys do. It amazes me how many guys a lady can have to fvck them and all are okay with it. I already caught one STD from a lying lady a few years back. Granted, I am clear of it now, I rather not deal with it again if I can avoid. I can and do go out and get ladies. I just have a problem juggling more than one and that puts me in this predicament. I also don't want to drive all the way down to Stamford or New York City just for sex. I'm not 25 anymore, I'm in my late 30's. After 8 - 10 hours days at work, I don't want to sit in a car or train and travel down to do that song and dance.

It makes little sense on Bumble and Match the attractive ladies are in Stamford and New York City, which want to meet, but around Bridgeport, nothing. It sucks.

I thought they were orbiters. She fvcks her orbiters? How many dudes was it?

 

[RickTheToad]

I thought they were orbiters. She fvcks her orbiters? How many dudes was it?

TBH, I have no idea. All I know I lost any sort of trust that I had from her when she went to spend a week with her "mentor", which turned out to be her professor teaching the course. She swears up and down she didn't do anything, but that lost any credibility with me. Then, when I didn't see her initially on Saturday (she has the flu, so I am supposed to get it too? WTF), she said she couldn't see me next Saturday, because she was busy. At that point, I wrote her off and wasn't planning on contacting her again. Just too much drama for sex. Sex was pretty good with her, but I have my limits. I think most would agree I've put up with a lot.

 

[Mazer]

Actions vs words dude. I'm not becoming an orbiter like her other dudes. Not worth it. I've seen the texts these dudes send her. I may be a bit screwed up, but I am not Big Dave. I am not just wanting to be a second fiddle and fvck her after all the other guys do. It amazes me how many guys a lady can have to fvck them and all are okay with it. I already caught one STD from a lying lady a few years back. Granted, I am clear of it now, I rather not deal with it again if I can avoid. I can and do go out and get ladies. I just have a problem juggling more than one and that puts me in this predicament. I also don't want to drive all the way down to Stamford or New York City just for sex. I'm not 25 anymore, I'm in my late 30's. After 8 - 10 hours days at work, I don't want to sit in a car or train and travel down to do that song and dance.

It makes little sense on Bumble and Match the attractive ladies are in Stamford and New York City, which want to meet, but around Bridgeport, nothing. It sucks.

It amazes me how the same members who told you to drop her are now telling you to keep her as a FWB even with all the BS that comes along with it. When bishes start to get difficult, you drop them and move on to another woman. Plenty of women who can fill the position of FWB without the drama. The end.

 

[marmel75]

Actions vs words dude. I'm not becoming an orbiter like her other dudes. Not worth it. I've seen the texts these dudes send her. I may be a bit screwed up, but I am not Big Dave. I am not just wanting to be a second fiddle and fvck her after all the other guys do. It amazes me how many guys a lady can have to fvck them and all are okay with it. I already caught one STD from a lying lady a few years back. Granted, I am clear of it now, I rather not deal with it again if I can avoid. I can and do go out and get ladies. I just have a problem juggling more than one and that puts me in this predicament. I also don't want to drive all the way down to Stamford or New York City just for sex. I'm not 25 anymore, I'm in my late 30's. After 8 - 10 hours days at work, I don't want to sit in a car or train and travel down to do that song and dance.

It makes little sense on Bumble and Match the attractive ladies are in Stamford and New York City, which want to meet, but around Bridgeport, nothing. It sucks.

So what do you think is going on with other women when you are not exclusive with them?

You think they are just banging you and that's it? Not likely.

If you are afraid of catching an STD your best bet is to become a monk and move to a monastery in Tibet...other than that all you can do is lower your risk the best you can.

Also, you arent an orbiter if you are banging her. Orbiters are dudes chicks keep around by dangling the sex carrot in front of their face without them actually getting it. Since you already banged her frequently and this would have likely continued you wouldnt have been an orbiter.

The problem you have juggling more than one is because you dont understand how this all works outside of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you have strange and unrealistic expectations of them for the type of relationship you claim you want.

 

[RickTheToad]

It amazes me how the same members who told you to drop her are now telling you to keep her as a FWB even with all the BS that comes along with it. When bishes start to get difficult, you drop them and move on to another woman. Plenty of women who can fill the position of FWB without the drama. The end.

I seem to agree. I thought it was part of the game. I also find it interesting the same dudes who told me to DTB, are now telling me that I shoulda kept her as a plate. Talk about mixed messages.

So what do you think is going on with other women when you are not exclusive with them?

You think they are just banging you and that's it? Not likely.

If you are afraid of catching an STD your best bet is to become a monk and move to a monastery in Tibet...other than that all you can do is lower your risk the best you can.

Also, you arent an orbiter if you are banging her. Orbiters are dudes chicks keep around by dangling the sex carrot in front of their face without them actually getting it. Since you already banged her frequently and this would have likely continued you wouldnt have been an orbiter.

The problem you have juggling more than one is because you dont understand how this all works outside of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you have strange and unrealistic expectations of them for the type of relationship you claim you want.

Perhaps, and I can agree that I need to learn more about this. I own that. However, I would find it hard to believe that you'd keep her as well after the junk I had to deal with her on. Even you told me in the previous thread to get rid of her. Why the change in opinion?

 

[Glassguy]

you dont understand how this all works outside of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you have strange and unrealistic expectations of them for the type of relationship you claim you want.

This nails it.

Relationship chasers will get their heart ripped out. They will get frustrated and angry with women. They get manipulated. They get played. They stay loyal to one woman in a fantasy world because they dont understand that women want to chase. It's the womans job to push for a relationship. The women lose interest.

Guys that are focused on sex and meeting their own needs dont get played. They manipulate. They stay chill and dont get frustrated. Always looking for more "options". They NEVER bring up the relationship word. Ever. In the end they hook women by building up a slow addiction, giving the woman a little bit at a time. When she is hooked he pulls away to shock her system and then she comes chasing harder. He can eventually have the relationship if he chooses it when its offered.

It takes being an orange to get the apple. I hate it when guys keep making these same mistakes and dont get that.

 

[RickTheToad]

This nails it.

Relationship chasers will get their heart ripped out. They will get frustrated and angry with women. They get manipulated. They get played. They stay loyal to one woman in a fantasy world because they dont understand that women want to chase. It's the womans job to push for a relationship. The women lose interest.

Guys that are focused on sex and meeting their own needs dont get played. They manipulate. They stay chill and dont get frustrated. Always looking for more "options". They NEVER bring up the relationship word. Ever. In the end they hook women by building up a slow addiction, giving the woman a little bit at a time. When she is hooked he pulls away to shock her system and then she comes chasing harder. He can eventually have the relationship if he chooses it when its offered.

It takes being an orange to get the apple. I hate it when guys keep making these same mistakes and dont get that.

I didn't get played, I left. Her last message to me before I deleted messenger was if you change your mind, I'm here. When I am done, I am done.

 

[Glassguy]

I would find it hard to believe that you'd keep her as well after the junk I had to deal with her on. Even you told me in the previous thread to get rid of her.

That's the thing: you didnt have to deal with any of it. You chose to do so. After putting up with her shyte you should have at least fvcked her until you found another one to monkey branch to.

My mind doesnt understand bending over backwards to fvck a chick in the first place. But then, after all of that, she offers you a no strings attached agreement on her pvssy and you bail when she wont commit to be your gf. Just face it.....you are looking for a gf. Nothing wrong with that but I'm telling you that as soon as a woman thinks she has you if she wants you, you're done. She will lose interest.

Her game > your game.

Step back and go back to work on yourself. Or keep blowing through there chicks and lose them as soon as you act like a beta relationship chaser. I hope you put in the work to improve because you seem extremely frustrated. That's what happens to relationship chasers.

Not meant to be a hateful post. I just hope you see the light.

 

[marmel75]

I seem to agree. I thought it was part of the game. I also find it interesting the same dudes who told me to DTB, are now telling me that I shoulda kept her as a plate. Talk about mixed messages.



Perhaps, and I can agree that I need to learn more about this. I own that. However, I would find it hard to believe that you'd keep her as well after the junk I had to deal with her on. Even you told me in the previous thread to get rid of her. Why the change in opinion?

90% of the issue is your expectations are not realistic for the type of relationship you have/had with her or claim you want with her. This is the source of your frustration and the drama. You want her to behave and act in a way that doesn't make sense for a FWB relationship.

Once you saw that she wasn't GF material, it should have automatically flipped to an FWB relationship along with your expectations of her behavior. But you still kept holding her to the standard of an exclusive GF.

I'm not sure what other way I can explain it because I dont think you are understanding what I'm trying to say.

Basically all you needed to do is invite her over and bang her from time to time...what she is doing when not with you shouldn't be your concern. That's literally how you build rotations...then since you are not dealing with her all the time you have more time to go out and meet/bang other women and repeat this process with them. The problem is that you DO CARE what she is doing when she isn't around you which means that you are going to have a tough time developing FWB relationships.

 

[Glassguy]

^^^^^^^^true^^^^^^^^
@marmel75 gets it.

Rotations are built from establishing FWB relationships even if the woman thinks she is working for more than one piece of the pie. Maybe she gets more over time maybe she doesnt. That's our choice.

 

[Glassguy]

I didn't get played, I left. Her last message to me before I deleted messenger was if you change your mind, I'm here. When I am done, I am done.

Meanwhile you're not getting laid, you're the one posting about it and she is contacting the other guys.

Who won?

I agree that you should not put up with a womans BS. I also believe that if the woman is attractive (and you wouldn't have created all these threads and posts about her if you werent attracted to her) you shouldn't turn down sex. Even if you demote to booty call. Heck she demoted herself and still offered it

You have to establish what you're willing to put up with in the very beginning. You did not. You allowed her to keep coming around. At that point you might as well use her for sex and nothing more. Of course you cant do that if you've already put her in the potential GF category, which you did, and that's why you refused the free pvssy offer.

@RickTheToad This is what I dont understand so maybe you can help me.........

After all her BS.....she was still good enough to be your GF but not good enough to just fvck?