Live Far Away First Date

[foolyoufool]

Hi Everyone,

Happy 2019! I went to a music festival this NYE and met a really cute girl there through a mutual friend. We really hit it off with lots of mutual touching and strong eye contact, she definitely wants me but I didn't kiss her because my friend has hooked up with her before and out of respect for him, I didn't want to do it in front of him.

She lives about 2 hours away in a mountain town while I live in LA.

I want to meet up with her but the distance is making logistics tough. I view my options as:

A) I can message her this week and arrange for a day where we can hit the slopes and hang out. I already told her I come up to her town a few times each winter (which is true) to ski. I'd have to buy snow tires to get up there which would be a hassle (new car is 2-wheel drive, sport tires). I want to do this option not just to see her, but to get out of town and go skiing, but am afraid it's a little desperate to do so soon, and a risk financially with the tires. What are your thoughts?

B) Invite her to come to LA, ideally for an event/concert (we have similar music taste). I like this option a lot as I won't have to go anywhere, but am afraid it's a big ask to do so soon (it's a big drive). Also offering for her to crash at my place might seem presumptuous.

C) Message her, say I had a great time, and to let me know when she's in LA and I'll do the same likewise when I'm in her town. The downside is that she doesn't come to LA much, and usually when I go skiing up there I'm with a bunch of bros for only a night or a day trip.

After typing this all out I'm leaning towards C... but would like your opinions please

 

[Glassguy]

Why dont you just see if she wants to meet up halfway? You dont want to be stuck out all day on the slopes with someone you dont really know that well, screw buying tires just to go see her and concerts/events are for someone who you are dating and is sexually providing for you.

Its an hour. Make her invest a little by meeting up. I am not even certain that I would tell her about the wonderful time you had. Just see if she wants to meet up in the middle and hang out.

At the end of the day its still 2 hours. You want to be driving that all the time to see one chick?

 

[The Duke]

Keep talking to her for a few weeks. If you and her are still excited about each other, then plan something.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Don’t bother unless she lives somewhere you would otherwise venture regularly. One hour is the max distance, not two. You want to spend four hours driving every time you want to see this girl?

Find someone closer.

 

[foolyoufool]

Why dont you just see if she wants to meet up halfway? You dont want to be stuck out all day on the slopes with someone you dont really know that well, screw buying tires just to go see her and concerts/events are for someone who you are dating and is sexually providing for you.

Its an hour. Make her invest a little by meeting up. I am not even certain that I would tell her about the wonderful time you had. Just see if she wants to meet up in the middle and hang out.

At the end of the day its still 2 hours. You want to be driving that all the time to see one chick?

Thanks for the reply. I like the meeting halfway idea, just struggling to think of what we would do to hang out. Halfway between us is a bunch of random suburb town that have restaurants, hiking, and maybe a random art walk or arcade. Any tips for fun date ideas in an unfamiliar place?

Also meeting halfway would kind of make logistics for taking her home tough. You're right, 2 hours is a lot, but I would do it once to release the sexual tension we built over the weekend. I doubt this would turn into a long-term thing.

 

[Glassguy]

Thanks for the reply. I like the meeting halfway idea, just struggling to think of what we would do to hang out. Halfway between us is a bunch of random suburb town that have restaurants, hiking, and maybe a random art walk or arcade. Any tips for fun date ideas in an unfamiliar place?

Also meeting halfway would kind of make logistics for taking her home tough. You're right, 2 hours is a lot, but I would do it once to release the sexual tension we built over the weekend. I doubt this would turn into a long-term thing.

Find something in between the 2 of you that you would like to do. Then tell her that you are headed to such and such place and ask if she wants to join.

If she does, meet up. If she gives you the run around and doesnt commit, you just saved time driving an hour lol.

This way it looks like you are not really going there just to meet her but you are inviting her along.

Yes the proximity does make things difficult for sex to happen but unless there is crazy attraction on the woman's end, sex probably isnt going to happen on the first date.

Just be cool about it. If you meet up, have fun and let things happen. Maybe she will be crazy into you and she will drive the 2 hours to see you one day each weekend after several dates.

Keep us posted.

 

[foolyoufool]

Find something in between the 2 of you that you would like to do. Then tell her that you are headed to such and such place and ask if she wants to join.

If she does, meet up. If she gives you the run around and doesnt commit, you just saved time driving an hour lol.

This way it looks like you are not really going there just to meet her but you are inviting her along.

Yes the proximity does make things difficult for sex to happen but unless there is crazy attraction on the woman's end, sex probably isnt going to happen on the first date.

Just be cool about it. If you meet up, have fun and let things happen. Maybe she will be crazy into you and she will drive the 2 hours to see you one day each weekend after several dates.

Keep us posted.

Thank you Glassguy, this sounds like great advice and exactly what I was looking for. I'll give it a shot and report back.

I'm also DMing you another situation with a different plate for your opinion.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The odds of the 2nd date having the same magic are slim at best.

 

[foolyoufool]

The odds of the 2nd date having the same magic are slim at best.

Are you counting us hanging out at the festival as our first date?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Are you counting us hanging out at the festival as our first date?

Yes.

 

[foolyoufool]

Yes.

Yeah then I would agree the odds are slim that it will be as magical.

Part of me thinks that maybe she was only so into me because my friend who hooked up with her before (J) brought another girl he was hooking up with to the festival, and both girls knew he hooked up with both of them. Despite her IOI's J's been a really good friend to me so I didn't want to make my move with him there, even if he had another girl. The girl I'm messaging also hung out with J the next day after the festival.

Do ya'll think I should've hooked up with her at the time anyway?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Always strike while the iron is hot. Buying temp will fluctuate over time.

 

[foolyoufool]

Always strike while the iron is hot. Buying temp will fluctuate over time.

Yeah, in retrospect I should've tried to isolate her just so my friend wouldn't see. Oh well now I know for next time.

 

[foolyoufool]

I'll go you one further and advise you to stop caring what they think. You seem to know in your gut that she wants you, yet you failed to reciprocate/lead because you're worried about hurting somebody's feelings? Get rid of that mindset.

Moving forward I'd be bold: invite her to LA for dinner. I wouldn't bend over backwards planning anything. Dinner at a reasonably priced, local restaurant is fine. Just be specific with the day-time-place and if she accepts your invite then text her your home address.

Well I care because I believe my friend is still hooking up with her as they hung out the day after the festival. And he's a "connector" type, always inviting me to parties and to meet new people, last night I met 2 new hot girls through him. So yes, maintaining that friendship is important to me.

Invite her LA to Dinner even though that's a 2+ hour drive for her each way? For context I had this text convo with her on thursday:

Me: Hey xx! I saw nectar on the Coachella lineup and thought of you How are you adjusting back to the real world after NYE? -Foolyoufool

Her (+1 hr): hey!!! i was thinking about you yesterday, how are you? i’m doing alright!! ready for beyond and coachella for sure!!! just cleaning right now in between jobs. what’s up with ya?

Me (+1.25 hrs): Aww thinking good things I hope...and I’m great! Enjoying my last days of vacation. Yesss I can’t wait either, are you going to both?

and no reply for her yet.