Intermittent Confidence

[jaymbrs]

For some odd reason I find that my confidence doesn't always "appear" when talking to women. What I mean is that with one woman I'm coming off as incredibly irresistible and charming but then with another woman I'll come off as shy and insecure. I'm not sure why that happens. Take yesterday for example, I had a ONS with an HB8 I met at a Christmas Party. I was in full on game mode, flashing a smile at her from across the room to speaking intelligently with her to the point she admitted I intimidated her and that it rarely happens. She uber'd to the party and I drove her home and spent the night at her place. She kept saying how often she gets hit on, mentioned her $80k income and the car she drives. It was clear she was trying to impress me and I didn't flinch. It seemed like everything I was saying and doing was triggering something in her mind. Literally mind ****ing her and she kept saying I was "different" lol. She's already been texting me today about how she's still in shock over what happened. I don't blame her either.

Now I don't consider myself a true don juan since as I mentioned I don't always come off as smooth but last night you couldn't f*ck with me. It was like a basketball player who gets hot and starts shooting consecutive 3s. However it's such an annoyance that I'm not this way all the time and it's something I'm trying to fully master.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

For some odd reason I find that my confidence doesn't always "appear" when talking to women. What I mean is that with one woman I'm coming off as incredibly irresistible and charming but then with another woman I'll come off as shy and insecure. I'm not sure why that happens. Take yesterday for example, I had a ONS with an HB8 I met at a Christmas Party. I was in full on game mode, flashing a smile at her from across the room to speaking intelligently with her to the point she admitted I intimidated her and that it rarely happens. She uber'd to the party and I drove her home and spent the night at her place. She kept saying how often she gets hit on, mentioned her $80k income and the car she drives. It was clear she was trying to impress me and I didn't flinch. It seemed like everything I was saying and doing was triggering something in her mind. Literally mind ****ing her and she kept saying I was "different" lol. She's already been texting me today about how she's still in shock over what happened. I don't blame her either.

Now I don't consider myself a true don juan since as I mentioned I don't always come off as smooth but last night you couldn't f*ck with me. It was like a basketball player who gets hot and starts shooting consecutive 3s. However it's such an annoyance that I'm not this way all the time and it's something I'm trying to fully master.

One could be closed up playing hard. The other could be open because she already likes you.

One playing hard makes it tough to get footing. It wont be fun.

The open one makes it fun to talk to her.

 

[jaymbrs]

Called "being in state", although if the sample size for the night is one then more likely she just made it easy for you.

One could be closed up playing hard. The other could be open because she already likes you.

One playing hard makes it tough to get footing. It wont be fun.

The open one makes it fun to talk to her.

Well she made her rounds, didn't make it too obvious she was into me. And what do we preach on here to do? Ignore her. Which is exactly what I did. And man she got frustrated with me lol

 

[flowtheory]

That is part of life. Some days you’re on fire, others, not so much; and then another time everything is falling to pieces.

The only thing we can do is learn from why things go right or where things went wrong. Try to repeat the former and limit the latter

 

[Mike32ct]

I not sure it’s necessary (or even possible) to be “ON” or “in state” with every chick.

A “sniper” approach using your intuition is a good thing. For whatever reason, you felt like it was ON (or potentially ON) with this one chick, and you went for it when you felt it was time (after ignoring her a bit haha). That’s perfect*.

To make a bad boxing analogy, if you score a first round knockout, should you feel like a loser because the fight didn’t go the distance? Of course not. You got the job done.

*Whether she made it easy for you or not isn’t so much the point. You sensed the opportunity and moved on that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well she made her rounds, didn't make it too obvious she was into me. And what do we preach on here to do? Ignore her. Which is exactly what I did. And man she got frustrated with me lol

Everyone isnt going to like you and its okay. Keep it moving. In principle why would you want to talk to or be with a man or woman who doesnt want to talk to or be with you?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I not sure it’s necessary (or even possible) to be “ON” or “in state” with every chick.

A “sniper” approach using your intuition is a good thing. For whatever reason, you felt like it was ON (or potentially ON) with this one chick, and you went for it when you felt it was time (after ignoring her a bit haha). That’s perfect*.

To make a bad boxing analogy, if you score a first round knockout, should you feel like a loser because the fight didn’t go the distance? Of course not. You got the job done.

*Whether she made it easy for you or not isn’t so much the point. You sensed the opportunity and moved on that.

I dont think he sensed opportunity with the difficult one. I believe he sensed HE was attracted.

Now alot of hawt chicks will be resting bytch face. You can try to open really quickly with a greeting and saying something. But if she remains difficult you have to move on.

Its why all the big names recommend dealing with females who already showed interest by double taking, adjusting her presence around you or who generally go out their way for you.

 

[jaymbrs]

I dont think he sensed opportunity with the difficult one. I believe he sensed HE was attracted.

Now alot of hawt chicks will be resting bytch face. You can try to open really quickly with a greeting and saying something. But if she remains difficult you have to move on.

Its why all the big names recommend dealing with females who already showed interest by double taking, adjusting her presence around you or who generally go out their way for you.

Yea I caught her looking a couple of times and she was all smiles for the most part. So the approach wasn't difficult. But yea maybe that's what it takes.

 

[Mike32ct]

I dont think he sensed opportunity with the difficult one. I believe he sensed HE was attracted.

Now alot of hawt chicks will be resting bytch face. You can try to open really quickly with a greeting and saying something. But if she remains difficult you have to move on.

Its why all the big names recommend dealing with females who already showed interest by double taking, adjusting her presence around you or who generally go out their way for you.

Absolutely. If they give you some indicators of interest (IOIs), that’s ideal.

What I’m getting at is sometimes a chick will give you zero IOIs (and she might even have resting bytch face). But despite that, you somehow have this gut feeling that you can still HAVE her. Then you make a move, and she slowly warms up to you, and it’s on.

It’s hard to describe. It’s not really related to being “in state” per se. It’s just a gut feeling that sometimes proves right.

 

[jaymbrs]

Absolutely. If they give you some indicators of interest (IOIs), that’s ideal.

What I’m getting at is sometimes a chick will give you zero IOIs (and she might even have resting bytch face). But despite that, you somehow have this gut feeling that you can still HAVE her. Then you make a move, and she slowly warms up to you, and it’s on.

It’s hard to describe. It’s not really related to being “in state” per se. It’s just a gut feeling that sometimes proves right.

It's called having a good buzz from the booze you just drank lol

 

[Glassguy]

High mutual attraction + solid frame + high interest = you would would have to act like an inbred for things to not fall into place as the night flowed onward.

Unfortunately some people actually find a way to blow the scenario up and go home alone.

Your frame allowed you to be un-intimidated and you kept on course.

Oh you make $100K a year? Good for you. I am financially independent and dont really care but glad you're on your purpose too.

Guys hit on you all the time and chase you? Good for you. I am the male version that has plenty of options also. Welcome to the club.

Thats your BMW? Awesome. I hope it gets great gas mileage unlike my $60K truck over there that I can easily afford to fill up when needed.

The fact that you DIDNT act like most other guys and put her on a pedestal is what drove her interest up. She was initially attracted to you and you amped that up. Well played. You showed signs of interest and then you backed away, which is exactly what you are supposed to do.
She followed, which is how it is scripted when attraction and interest are there on her part.

Want to keep her around for a while? Keep doing the same thing. You are interested in hanging out with her and sex. Nothing else and she will not be put on a pedestal.

I went out with a lawyer last night. I have no idea what she makes but she is far from starving. She told me that I was the first guy in her last 4 dates that didnt try to figure out how much she made and told me that it was attractive that I was indifferent. I simply told her that I do good on my own, looking for someone that can afford to have the same type of fun in live that I also want and that I dont really care what a woman does or how much money she makes.

She messaged me before I got home from the date asking if I wanted to come over to her newly build 4500 sq foot house this weekend and help her enjoy some wine. I told her I would check my schedule and get back to her on what time I could help with that this weekend. She has already texted me 3 times today.

Keep your course. This chick sounds like she might be a LTR candidate but dont put the cart before the horse. Keep your intentions on meeting up, having fun and fvcking her afterwards, dont get too concerned about her finances and "stuff" and she wont be going any where anytime soon except back to bed with you after some fun drinks.

Well done.

 

[jaymbrs]

High mutual attraction + solid frame + high interest = you would would have to act like an inbred for things to not fall into place as the night flowed onward.

Unfortunately some people actually find a way to blow the scenario up and go home alone.

Your frame allowed you to be un-intimidated and you kept on course.

Oh you make $100K a year? Good for you. I am financially independent and dont really care but glad you're on your purpose too.

Guys hit on you all the time and chase you? Good for you. I am the male version that has plenty of options also. Welcome to the club.

Thats your BMW? Awesome. I hope it gets great gas mileage unlike my $60K truck over there that I can easily afford to fill up when needed.

The fact that you DIDNT act like most other guys and put her on a pedestal is what drove her interest up. She was initially attracted to you and you amped that up. Well played. You showed signs of interest and then you backed away, which is exactly what you are supposed to do.
She followed, which is how it is scripted when attraction and interest are there on her part.

Want to keep her around for a while? Keep doing the same thing. You are interested in hanging out with her and sex. Nothing else and she will not be put on a pedestal.

I went out with a lawyer last night. I have no idea what she makes but she is far from starving. She told me that I was the first guy in her last 4 dates that didnt try to figure out how much she made and told me that it was attractive that I was indifferent. I simply told her that I do good on my own, looking for someone that can afford to have the same type of fun in live that I also want and that I dont really care what a woman does or how much money she makes.

She messaged me before I got home from the date asking if I wanted to come over to her newly build 4500 sq foot house this weekend and help her enjoy some wine. I told her I would check my schedule and get back to her on what time I could help with that this weekend. She has already texted me 3 times today.

Keep your course. This chick sounds like she might be a LTR candidate but dont put the cart before the horse. Keep your intentions on meeting up, having fun and fvcking her afterwards, dont get too concerned about her finances and "stuff" and she wont be going any where anytime soon except back to bed with you after some fun drinks.

Well done.

Exactly right. We went on a date last night and again she started again with talking about her success in her career, showing me pics of her 38th floor view of downtown from her office and trying to bring up doctors and apparently a pro hockey player she's dated. Once again not impressed. I told her the view was amazing from her office but since I travel so much for work told her it didn't compare to my view from the sky when I'm flying. Just to give her a hard time to which she said she hated that she liked my sarcastic attitude so much. I also stopped her in her tracks when she brought up her exes by asking her if she actually thought I gave a **** about any of that. She said I made her feel a little dumb but that she likes the balls on me to put her in her place. I ended up leaving her place at 3AM after banging her again. She's already trying to get me to commit to something for New Years eve. I haven't confirmed anything yet.

 

[Glassguy]

Exactly right. We went on a date last night and again she started again with talking about her success in her career, showing me pics of her 38th floor view of downtown from her office and trying to bring up doctors and apparently a pro hockey player she's dated. Once again not impressed. I told her the view was amazing from her office but since I travel so much for work told her it didn't compare to my view from the sky when I'm flying. Just to give her a hard time to which she said she hated that she liked my sarcastic attitude so much. I also stopped her in her tracks when she brought up her exes by asking her if she actually thought I gave a **** about any of that. She said I made her feel a little dumb but that she likes the balls on me to put her in her place. I ended up leaving her place at 3AM after banging her again. She's already trying to get me to commit to something for New Years eve. I haven't confirmed anything yet.

Well done. As far as NYE, its literally just days away. If you want to hang out with her, commit to it and go with it.

I believe in going with natural flow if things are going well. If that means you see each other twice in a week, so be it.

I am not one for following "rules" when it comes to dating. My only rules are 1.) Doing what I want 2.) Doing what is in my best interest.

 

[jaymbrs]

Well done. As far as NYE, its literally just days away. If you want to hang out with her, commit to it and go with it.

I believe in going with natural flow if things are going well. If that means you see each other twice in a week, so be it.

I am not one for following "rules" when it comes to dating. My only rules are 1.) Doing what I want 2.) Doing what is in my best interest.

I agree. I just have a couple of other plans for NYE. Nothing spectacular and still not sure what I want to do. I have to work that day and it might just come down to how much energy I have after clocking out.

 

[SirBigBell]

I think you’re needlessly overthinking your heat pattern. Sometimes the planets line up perfectly and you become unstoppable, and at other times the will is present but one or two planets are out of joint and your efficiency is conpromised. Thats just nature and you have to accept and roll with it.

The same dynamic can come into play in other areas away from dating. Sometimes I wake up hot and have a super-productive day at work, but on some days I just manage to tick over enough to get through the day.

Take home lesson: everyone experiences spikes and dips in form, so embrace it and maximise productivity on days when your block is hot