flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Because I live so far from my family, my actual Christmas isn’t until the 28th. So last night I decided to spend the night with a woman whom I have interest in.
We were lying in her bed. Post heavy makeout. Hadn’t yet had sex yet, but it was on its way.
My jeans were beside the bed; phone in a pocket. My tinder goes off. Two new messages, and a new match. This sound instantly sparks her *competition anxiety* and before I know it, she’s sitting upright, asking me how many woman I’m seeing and if I’ve had sex. I don’t want to lie so I tell her the truth.
She starts getting a little huffy and now we’re in a ‘heated discussion’ which eventually takes us away from the bedroom. The whole time I’m asking her and trying to understand to make sense why she’s mad, because we never talked about exclusivity and it’s only been 5 dates!
She calls me duplicitous and that I should have came out and told her I was having sex on the second date with other women on my own volition. (Like wtf! Haha get a grip. That’s like asking me to blow off my own leg) Says she can’t trust me.
Now I’m getting annoyed, because this is really ridiculous and I’m not going to be berated like this for literally doing nothing wrong and actually telling her the truth when she asked, out of respect. I told her she shouldn’t ask questions she may not want answers to.
I get up and say “I’ll make this easy for you”. I grab my jeans and shirt then start putting them on, go straight to my duffle and pick it up. Immediately she’s up on her feet and clearly in panic. She says “you’re leaving!?” And then essentiay tell her how how I’m not gonna do this and it isn’t what I want to be accusesed of things I’m not, And then tell her how it’s gonna be and show her I’m willing to walk away.
The point of this story:
- Competition anxiety is legit a thing, for anyone who second guesses it. You don’t need to soften some blows and instantly validate her when she has a little panic because of it (most guys fail here, reassuring too quickly)
- Show her you’re willing to walk away!
After I was willing to walk, the whole dynamic changed. She instantly became more feminine, softer, pitch in her voice was higher and lighter, more “cuddly”. I literally couldn’t believe it. She was also trying to anchor me down a bit (not full exclusivity but essentially “don’t see anyone else! Because I’m not”)
We then went back to her bed and had sex.
For newbies or lurkers.. there’s a lot of good information in here. It’s one thing to understand it, but another to employ it and actually see... women are ALWAYS testing your value and seeing how far they can push. So if you do not know your value, learn it.
Alpha Male Strategies also has really good information. That guy knows what he’s talking about (can be a little intense for me at times but his points are valid)
We were lying in her bed. Post heavy makeout. Hadn’t yet had sex yet, but it was on its way.
My jeans were beside the bed; phone in a pocket. My tinder goes off. Two new messages, and a new match. This sound instantly sparks her *competition anxiety* and before I know it, she’s sitting upright, asking me how many woman I’m seeing and if I’ve had sex. I don’t want to lie so I tell her the truth.
She starts getting a little huffy and now we’re in a ‘heated discussion’ which eventually takes us away from the bedroom. The whole time I’m asking her and trying to understand to make sense why she’s mad, because we never talked about exclusivity and it’s only been 5 dates!
She calls me duplicitous and that I should have came out and told her I was having sex on the second date with other women on my own volition. (Like wtf! Haha get a grip. That’s like asking me to blow off my own leg) Says she can’t trust me.
Now I’m getting annoyed, because this is really ridiculous and I’m not going to be berated like this for literally doing nothing wrong and actually telling her the truth when she asked, out of respect. I told her she shouldn’t ask questions she may not want answers to.
I get up and say “I’ll make this easy for you”. I grab my jeans and shirt then start putting them on, go straight to my duffle and pick it up. Immediately she’s up on her feet and clearly in panic. She says “you’re leaving!?” And then essentiay tell her how how I’m not gonna do this and it isn’t what I want to be accusesed of things I’m not, And then tell her how it’s gonna be and show her I’m willing to walk away.
The point of this story:
- Competition anxiety is legit a thing, for anyone who second guesses it. You don’t need to soften some blows and instantly validate her when she has a little panic because of it (most guys fail here, reassuring too quickly)
- Show her you’re willing to walk away!
After I was willing to walk, the whole dynamic changed. She instantly became more feminine, softer, pitch in her voice was higher and lighter, more “cuddly”. I literally couldn’t believe it. She was also trying to anchor me down a bit (not full exclusivity but essentially “don’t see anyone else! Because I’m not”)
We then went back to her bed and had sex.
For newbies or lurkers.. there’s a lot of good information in here. It’s one thing to understand it, but another to employ it and actually see... women are ALWAYS testing your value and seeing how far they can push. So if you do not know your value, learn it.
Alpha Male Strategies also has really good information. That guy knows what he’s talking about (can be a little intense for me at times but his points are valid)
