“I Love you” and the razor’s edge

[Ranger]

Women's "love" = survival

That's why it's fleeting.

Which is why a man have to teach her love according to him and it can only be done when she greatly admires/respect you as her leader.

I’m with @Spaz. It is a “love” based on her survival. Women, scientifically had the wiring to get over losses much quicker. I do have a sad story to convey here, which represented the nature of love and the difference in loves between man and women. You can find variations on this everywhere.

When I first got out of the service I went back to school and ended up in engineering. I worked for a company called Stewart & Stevenson. Their natural gas compression division.

There was a woman who was the office manager and was in her early 60s.
One day I was standing by her desk and we were talking about her younger brother who had died the week before.

Her brother had married his wife and they had two boys. They were pre-teens when this event happened. The baby sitter couldn’t find them one day so she called him at work and he came home. They looked everywhere. Hit up all the neighbors.
Finally he figured it out.

He had an old freezer in the back yard. He ran to it and opened it up and found that both his boys were dead. The old style freezers only opened from the outside. They were playing and decided to climb into it. Obviously they could not get out and died of affixation.

Her brother doted on those boys. Loved them more than his own life. It wrecked him. The wife eventually divorced him and remarried another man and had more children. His drinking and pain had gotten the best of him. He never recovered. Finally he died at 58.

Men love more deeply. We have it as our actual identity. This wiring is what makes us work so hard for our family. A man will literally work himself to death and wear it as a badge of honor. If you take away his family, you can take away how he identifies with himself. It’s very powerful. We will take Bullets for our brothers. We will lay down our lives at the drop of a hat. So men kill themselves when their identity is taken from them. It’s very tragic.

If you really notice women, they don’t have this. Their wiring prompts them to persist and keep going. The pain and loss go dim for them. They can love you one day and then suddenly she no longer loves you. Or more precisely, no longer “in-love with you.

As a man you must be very careful who you give your love to and even then realize that your wife cannot love you in the same way. What you expect of her is impossible.
Her job, biologically, is to breed and further the next generations. You are really just a stepping stone in many cases.

Self sacrifice from a woman is for her children. She is not wired to lay down her life for you. It doesn’t work that way.

I hate being the harbinger of bad news but as men, I thought you might like to know.
STOP thinking that women think like you do.

 

[lamath]

I’m with @Spaz. It is a “love” based on her survival. Women, scientifically had the wiring to get over losses much quicker. I do have a sad story to convey here, which represented the nature of love and the difference in loves between man and women. You can find variations on this everywhere.

When I first got out of the service I went back to school and ended up in engineering. I worked for a company called Stewart & Stevenson. Their natural gas compression division.

There was a woman who was the office manager and was in her early 60s.
One day I was standing by her desk and we were talking about her younger brother who had died the week before.

Her brother had married his wife and they had two boys. They were pre-teens when this event happened. The baby sitter couldn’t find them one day so she called him at work and he came home. They looked everywhere. Hit up all the neighbors.
Finally he figured it out.

He had an old freezer in the back yard. He ran to it and opened it up and found that both his boys were dead. The old style freezers only opened from the outside. They were playing and decided to climb into it. Obviously they could not get out and died of affixation.

Her brother doted on those boys. Loved them more than his own life. It wrecked him. The wife eventually divorced him and remarried another man and had more children. His drinking and pain had gotten the best of him. He never recovered. Finally he died at 58.

Men love more deeply. We have it as our actual identity. This wiring is what makes us work so hard for our family. A man will literally work himself to death and wear it as a badge of honor. If you take away his family, you can take away how he identifies with himself. It’s very powerful. We will take Bullets for our brothers. We will lay down our lives at the drop of a hat. So men kill themselves when their identity is taken from them. It’s very tragic.

If you really notice women, they don’t have this. Their wiring prompts them to persist and keep going. The pain and loss go dim for them. They can love you one day and then suddenly she no longer loves you. Or more precisely, no longer “in-love with you.

As a man you must be very careful who you give your love to and even then realize that your wife cannot love you in the same way. What you expect of her is impossible.
Her job, biologically, is to breed and further the next generations. You are really just a stepping stone in many cases.

Self sacrifice from a woman is for her children. She is not wired to lay down her life for you. It doesn’t work that way.

I hate being the harbinger of bad news but as men, I thought you might like to know.
STOP thinking that women think like you do.

Sad sad story.
I have read somewhere that It has also been proven by research on elderly that a man losing his wife will live a shorter life than a wife losing her husband

 

[Ranger]

Sad sad story.
I have read somewhere that It has also been proven by research on elderly that a man losing his wife will live a shorter life than a wife losing her husband

It’s true. It’s a huge liability for men. Standing in front of that saber tooth tiger to protect your woman is buried deep in us.

 

[Spaz]

I’m with @Spaz. It is a “love” based on her survival. Women, scientifically had the wiring to get over losses much quicker. I do have a sad story to convey here, which represented the nature of love and the difference in loves between man and women. You can find variations on this everywhere.

When I first got out of the service I went back to school and ended up in engineering. I worked for a company called Stewart & Stevenson. Their natural gas compression division.

There was a woman who was the office manager and was in her early 60s.
One day I was standing by her desk and we were talking about her younger brother who had died the week before.

Her brother had married his wife and they had two boys. They were pre-teens when this event happened. The baby sitter couldn’t find them one day so she called him at work and he came home. They looked everywhere. Hit up all the neighbors.
Finally he figured it out.

He had an old freezer in the back yard. He ran to it and opened it up and found that both his boys were dead. The old style freezers only opened from the outside. They were playing and decided to climb into it. Obviously they could not get out and died of affixation.

Her brother doted on those boys. Loved them more than his own life. It wrecked him. The wife eventually divorced him and remarried another man and had more children. His drinking and pain had gotten the best of him. He never recovered. Finally he died at 58.

Men love more deeply. We have it as our actual identity. This wiring is what makes us work so hard for our family. A man will literally work himself to death and wear it as a badge of honor. If you take away his family, you can take away how he identifies with himself. It’s very powerful. We will take Bullets for our brothers. We will lay down our lives at the drop of a hat. So men kill themselves when their identity is taken from them. It’s very tragic.

If you really notice women, they don’t have this. Their wiring prompts them to persist and keep going. The pain and loss go dim for them. They can love you one day and then suddenly she no longer loves you. Or more precisely, no longer “in-love with you.

As a man you must be very careful who you give your love to and even then realize that your wife cannot love you in the same way. What you expect of her is impossible.
Her job, biologically, is to breed and further the next generations. You are really just a stepping stone in many cases.

Self sacrifice from a woman is for her children. She is not wired to lay down her life for you. It doesn’t work that way.

I hate being the harbinger of bad news but as men, I thought you might like to know.
STOP thinking that women think like you do.

Well said Ranger. You explained it sufficiently well to remove all doubts.

 

[Ranger]

So back to the theme of this thread.

So you are with the woman and she says to you, “I love you”
Now that you know”what the razors edge”, is when talking about your love vs her love...
“What is her love based on in reference to YOU?”

 

[BeExcellent]

I have no quarrel with the idea that men love from a place of duty. No issue with that at all. That was true of my father.

And it is a statistical fact that a.) Women outlive men and b.) Men who are devoted to their wives of many years often do not survive a long time once the wife has died. It is as though their sense of purpose is gone. The most prominent recent example of this is the late President Bush. Barbara died in April of this year, and he died within the year. Women often outlive their men and go on to survive for years, that is fact and rather common.

You have to also remember that there are devoted couples out there, who are great partners to one another in every sense of the word. There are marriages even that are successful. I know personally of many good marriages.

I think @lamath that too many women choose a man for the wrong reason. If a woman marries someone for whom she has no sexual desire, that is a problem. The issue is that some women prioritize resource provision above sexual desire and passion. This is a pragmatic approach but it sacrifices desire and desire is the glue that keeps two people together through all the things that happen in life. Its best to have a man who the woman is desirous of and who also is capable of aiding her when she makes the physical sacrifice of bearing that man's children. Men seem to forget the physical risks inherent in childbearing and childbirth. Even in modern Western society, women risk disability and or death with pregnancy and childbirth, not to mention the potential for lifelong responsibility if the child is disabled or defect in some serious way.

Worrying about when to say "I love you" seems to me to indicate a fear of something. You do not lose anything by loving someone. In fact you may very well gain something. Love does not diminish a man. Women are capable of deep devotion and deep love just as men are. It all depends on the woman you choose as a man. That makes ALL the difference.

 

[Ranger]

Women are capable of deep devotion and deep love just as men are. It all depends on the woman you choose as a man. That makes ALL the difference.

This is a feminine imperative con. It’s not true. Scientificly or as an obnosis process.
From what paradigm, could you understand the nature of men concerning love?

You are in the business of selling a man on love. Men do not fear saying “I love you.” He doesn’t want the pvssy to end with you” or be obligated if he does say it. It’s not owed.
That’s like saying a person who does not support gays is a homophobe. Fear of homosexuality.
I can’t think of a single fag that I’m afraid of.

This is a standard social/polical shame and weakness tactic designed to put men in a position where they are more likely to commit to a scam (Feminine imprrative), just to prove they are not those things. It is a subconscious challenge to men and the geopolitical structure knows that. We are not required to man up to jack $hit that we haven’t chosen. Our love, commitment or service is not an obligation. Women don’t get to define anything except women stuff.

 

[Spaz]

This is a feminine imperative con. It’s not true. Scientificly or as an obnosis process.
From what paradigm, could you understand the nature of men concerning love?

You are in the business of selling a man on love. Men do not fear saying “I love you.” He doesn’t want the pvssy to end with you” or be obligated if he does say it. It’s not owed.
That’s like saying a person who does not support gays is a homophobe. Fear of homosexuality.
I can’t think of a single fag that I’m afraid of.

This is a standard social/polical shame and weakness tactic designed to put men in a position where they are more likely to commit to a scam (Feminine imprrative), just to prove they are not those things. It is a subconscious challenge to men and the geopolitical structure knows that. We are not required to man up to jack $hit that we haven’t chosen. Our love, commitment or service is not an obligation. Women don’t get to define anything except women stuff.

BE or any women for that matter by their own volition can't love in the deep sense a man could.

Since their love is born out of the need to survive they can't truly understand it's meaning, hence the lure and genuine admiration women feel when they observe a man's devotion/love - it's the masculine love.

The feminine love if observed properly can't even be sustained in friendship with other women. Those bff that they hug, cry and swear sisterhood with will given the right incentives will turn on each other. We have all seen it.

 

[AJ84]

I’m with @Spaz. It is a “love” based on her survival. Women, scientifically had the wiring to get over losses much quicker. I do have a sad story to convey here, which represented the nature of love and the difference in loves between man and women. You can find variations on this everywhere.

When I first got out of the service I went back to school and ended up in engineering. I worked for a company called Stewart & Stevenson. Their natural gas compression division.

There was a woman who was the office manager and was in her early 60s.
One day I was standing by her desk and we were talking about her younger brother who had died the week before.

Her brother had married his wife and they had two boys. They were pre-teens when this event happened. The baby sitter couldn’t find them one day so she called him at work and he came home. They looked everywhere. Hit up all the neighbors.
Finally he figured it out.

He had an old freezer in the back yard. He ran to it and opened it up and found that both his boys were dead. The old style freezers only opened from the outside. They were playing and decided to climb into it. Obviously they could not get out and died of affixation.

Her brother doted on those boys. Loved them more than his own life. It wrecked him. The wife eventually divorced him and remarried another man and had more children. His drinking and pain had gotten the best of him. He never recovered. Finally he died at 58.

Men love more deeply. We have it as our actual identity. This wiring is what makes us work so hard for our family. A man will literally work himself to death and wear it as a badge of honor. If you take away his family, you can take away how he identifies with himself. It’s very powerful. We will take Bullets for our brothers. We will lay down our lives at the drop of a hat. So men kill themselves when their identity is taken from them. It’s very tragic.

If you really notice women, they don’t have this. Their wiring prompts them to persist and keep going. The pain and loss go dim for them. They can love you one day and then suddenly she no longer loves you. Or more precisely, no longer “in-love with you.

As a man you must be very careful who you give your love to and even then realize that your wife cannot love you in the same way. What you expect of her is impossible.
Her job, biologically, is to breed and further the next generations. You are really just a stepping stone in many cases.

Self sacrifice from a woman is for her children. She is not wired to lay down her life for you. It doesn’t work that way.

I hate being the harbinger of bad news but as men, I thought you might like to know.
STOP thinking that women think like you do.

Ranger my cousin lost a young child, her only child. Her and her husband divorced a year later. They both shut down in their grief, they were paralyzed by it and they could not comfort each other and it eroded the marriage.

She didn’t just dust herself off and bounce off to the next alpha sperm donor to continue breeding. In fact she chose never to have any more children because she was afraid to lose another child and go through that again.

Women aren’t lionesses constantly roaming the jungle looking for the next alpha lion to breed with when the pride gets killed. I’m mean we’re animals but we’re a bit more complex than that lol

 

[AJ84]

BE or any women for that matter by their own volition can't love in the deep sense a man could.

Since their love is born out of the need to survive they can't truly understand it's meaning, hence the lure and genuine admiration women feel when they observe a man's devotion/love - it's the masculine love.

The feminine love if observed properly can't even be sustained in friendship with other women. Those bff that they hug, cry and swear sisterhood with will given the right incentives will turn on each other. We have all seen it.

Thanks for explaining how women think, feel, and love. I know if I dared to attempt to explain how men think, feel, and love you would be the first one to challenge that, asking me how I could possibly know how men are, because I’m not one....so......

 

[Spaz]

Thanks for explaining how women think, feel, and love. I know if I dared to attempt to explain how men think, feel, and love you would be the first one to challenge that, asking me how I could possibly know how men are, because I’m not one....so......

It's easy because your inherent love is only for survival, you "think" you know more to it but you actually don't.

The rest of the love is one you're learned is from men.

Name me 1 single women who has made significant philosophical impact to the world ?

There's are literally hundreds if not thousands of men who did through the ages.

 

[The Diver]

Still no answer on how to handle the i love you **** test.

A lot of deep and brainstorm stuff in this thread but here is something from real life experience:
A woman I dated for a few months asked me: Do you love me? I said, "I like you very much". Now, most will say, usually she'll stop here, but no, She then said, "but you don't really LOVE me, do you? " I said, "No I'm not there yet". And she has gone.
Don't know how to handle it better. Maybe someone has a better idea?

I really doubt I'll be able to really love a woman again, I'm protecting myself too much.

 

[NSX-R]

I’ve heard this lot of times . Some women told me they loved me in the first week of us being together , some did say it months after , some never did say it at all .

Noticed that it was just a word for them . As soon as i left them they were with some other guy most of the times , 2-3 months after our relationship . Those who never said it though were the ones more attached to me though . I don’t know the mechanics behind this but the ones who never said it were those who were more independent.

Those women had no need to prove something or needed me to be around because they already had a very good job and they were very attractive. We just had fun . Somebody here mentioned that they say they love you when they feel like they about to lose you . That’s the truth i guess .

 

[AJ84]

It's easy because your inherent love is only for survival, you "think" you know more to it but you actually don't.

The rest of the love is one you're learned is from men.

Name me 1 single women who has made significant philosophical impact to the world ?

There's are literally hundreds if not thousands of men who did through the ages.

Hannah Arendt.

 

[AJ84]

This is true, but you guys are being solipsistic here. Of course a woman factors for provision when she "falls in love." Of course if you stopped working, providing, had no money, she'd eventually lose her faith in you and split.

I'd do the same if the woman stopped making herself available for sex, or let herself go without making any effort to care for her body, etc. I'd do what I could to salvage it if I loved her, but if she doesn't love herself then it's hopeless.

No romantic love is 100% unconditional. I have no problem accepting that. I'm not going to sit here and pretend a man's love is some holy grail to be exalted. It's different for sure but who can say for sure if it's any deeper when both are holding up their end of the bargain.

If you want to get scientific about it, a man's pupils will dilate when he's shown an image of an attractive and/or naked woman. A woman's will, too, when shown an image of an attractive man - but not as much or frequently as when shown images of babies.

“No love is 100% unconditional.” So very true.

Yes. Yes some women are 100% self serving and don’t really love, but not all. Some men seem to love deeply, for sure.

You’re right, whose to say what’s deeper? When someone tells us they love us do we ask them how deeply and in what way? We just go by their actions and interpret from that, and how they make us feel.

This linear notion that all women are self serving and don’t ‘love’ like men, who love deeply, is ludicrous. It’s especially ludicrous on a site where most of the topics and advice is how to lie to get women, how to hold off catching feelings, nexting her if she doesn’t fall in line, demoting her to plate status if she’s doesn’t puppet the way she’s expected to, how to extract sex and nothing more, how to avoid commitment, immediately dumping or cheating on her if she gets fat, depressed, loses her job, etc without even at least first trying to encourage her to improve on herself or get help.

Yes DEEP LOVE.

 

[sazc]

Thanks for explaining how women think, feel, and love. I know if I dared to attempt to explain how men think, feel, and love you would be the first one to challenge that, asking me how I could possibly know how men are, because I’m not one....so......

That and, as evidenced, you would be called out for 'man shaming' and then the man shaming tailgate party would arrive, crack beers, and toast to your obvious 'man shaming' tactics.

Such simpletons, lol

 

[AJ84]

That and, as evidenced, you would be called out for 'man shaming' and then the man shaming tailgate party would arrive, crack beers, and toast to your obvious 'man shaming' tactics.

Such simpletons, lol

Yep, hahaha so many times, you, Bexcellent and I have been challenged on anything we say about men, by men who tell us it’s impossible for women to know how men think. And then these same men make posts claiming to know the inner workings of all women, and they don’t see the irony in that.

 

[Spaz]

Hannah Arendt.

Very good AJ.

In my post I mentioned that women can only learn the deep meaning of love from men.

As proven by Hannah Arendt when she herself learned her philosophy from men such as Socrates, Saint Augustine, Kant, Goethe, Heidegger, Karl Jaspers and Walter Benjamin.

Is there anything original that women didn't learn or acquire from men besides gossiping, manipulation, breastfeeding, multitasking and giving birth ?

 

[guru1000]

The states of love and desire, for both men and women, are often confused.

Especially in the early stages, where infatuation can sometimes manifest, the infatuator confuses his or her desire for love, “I’m in love.”

However being “in love”—the state of extreme desire —is very different than “to love.”

“To love” is simply giving to another with the unequivocal intent to serve their benefit and not serve your own and without expectation of reciprocity.

In this context, you are placing another’s needs/wants before your own. This is a very advanced abstract because it belies the human nature which is to receive for thyself. And so, such a love can only be truly given by an individual whom is spiritually advanced (whereas he/she is not guided solely by human inclination)—or—by two people (or perhaps one of the two) who have bonded to such a degree whereas to hurt one is to hurt the other.

 

[sazc]

The states of love and desire, for both men and women, are often confused.

Especially in the early stages, where infatuation can sometimes manifest, the infatuator confuses his or her desire for love, “I’m in love.”

However being “in love”—the state of extreme desire —is very different than “to love.”

“To love” is simply giving to another with the unequivocal intent to serve their benefit and not serve your own and without expectation of reciprocity.

In this context, you are placing another’s needs/wants before your own. This is a very advanced abstract because it belies the human nature which is to receive for thyself. And so, such a love can only be truly given by an individual whom is spiritually advanced (whereas he/she is not guided solely by human inclination)—or—by two people (or perhaps one of the two) who have bonded to such a degree whereas to hurt one is to hurt the other.

Thanks for finally chiming in.

@guru1000 what do you reply when a woman tells you she loves you and you aren't there yet but don't want to miss handle the moment?