For men 35+, where are you meeting the ladies?

[oc16]

I'm 41 and sick of the bar scene/club scene (it doesn't work anyway).

More and more I am seeing that women need to warm up to you first (e.g, know that you are safe), this is why bars are awful and meeting women thru mutual friends usually works.

What has worked for you?

 

[evan12]

Assuming you are already in shape and above average on men in your age , you can visit expos , events , having hobbies that help youmeet women , business networking event.
for average men , social circle is their best bet , try to go to church and or any community to build social circle. but if you are above average , then events and other places when you meet women will work for you.
Maybe adopt some cause and pretend you are really into that cause, then join activities to support that cause , I know a guy who is vegetarian and attend many events like running , food events, fund raising , etc and he built good identity around this cause.
men in the west are retreating from society so basically any activity you attend you will find a decent number of women there, and many of them are for same of your reason !

 

[oc16]

Assuming you are already in shape and above average on men in your age , you can visit expos , events , having hobbies that help youmeet women , business networking event.
for average men , social circle is their best bet , try to go to church and or any community to build social circle. but if you are above average , then events and other places when you meet women will work for you.
Maybe adopt some cause and pretend you are really into that cause, then join activities to support that cause , I know a guy who is vegetarian and attend many events like running , food events, fund raising , etc and he built good identity around this cause.
men in the west are retreating from society so basically any activity you attend you will find a decent number of women there, and many of them are for same of your reason !

Yes, I would say above average.

I am 6 feet, which I realize is tall since most guys are 5'7 to 5'10", in shape and no balding (although being bald works if you are not fat)

 

[Maggie Smith]

need to be bolder

 

[oc16]

need to be bolder

Cold approaches don't work

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Satelitte work locations, coffee shops/cafes, online, festivals/streetfairs. Girls seem receptive and aggressive in these situations. Even making the first move.

 

[Music_czar]

Cold approaches don't work

Agreed, and when it does it’s so rare it hardly justifies the work put into it. Besides, I can’t remember the last time I saw a girl in person that I really wanted to approach anyway.

Bars/clubs are terrible, and you end up meeting party girls/bar slvts even if you do hook up.

Social circle used to be the best way, but these days if you ask a girl to introduce you to a friend most likely they will tel you to “just join tinder and bumble” because that’s where all their single friends meet men these days.

For me, I’ve met all my hookups/gf’s the last seven years thru online dating. They’re hot, young, and wild, but vast majority aren’t long term material.

A good place to meet women in the summer is private boat parties, every city has them. Just go on Instagram and add some of the guys who run the boats to the beach.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I did only one CA, years ago when I was 21. I was super hi-inhib back then (less so now). She was friendly and talkative. I panicked after about 10 min and said ‘nice talking to you.’ and left. She looked a bit confused at that. I still plan to try again. I think it’s a good excercise. Even though success chance is very slim.

 

[Edison Johnson]

interesting

 

[In2theGame]

35 now and I still meet Women at bars and lounges. No clubs which I hate, too loud and rowdy. I don't know where you're from but here in NYC I like hitting the "mature" bars and lounges. Plenty of Women and cold approaches do for sure work It's how you approach and what you say that show if its a go or not.

 

[Marek]

Any hobbies of yours that could be pursued in a group? Has the advantage of you already having a common interest (check meetup.com).

Also OLD if you're sitting on the bog and bored. Just be very selective and don't go too far out of your way.

 

[CalabreseMike]

Work on your fitness and looks. I got my high school six pack back [ lost 30 pounds and I wasn’t fat but now somewhat ripped] and competing in athletics in my 50s. Women in their 20s and 30s are coming up to me now. Looks and body matter immensely today. It’s because a vast majority of guys are no longer in shape. Don’t kid yourself. Women like a man with a flat stomach and there are so few so if you have that and are a decent person the rest is easy.

 

[oc16]

Work on your fitness and looks. I got my high school six pack back [ lost 30 pounds and I wasn’t fat but now somewhat ripped] and competing in athletics in my 50s. Women in their 20s and 30s are coming up to me now. Looks and body matter immensely today. It’s because a vast majority of guys are no longer in shape. Don’t kid yourself. Women like a man with a flat stomach and there are so few so if you have that and are a decent person the rest is easy.

Good for you. This one website where it talked about younger women and older men it said: "Young women pretty much want the wisdom and social status of the older man with a younger man's body"

I am amazed how a lot of guys 35+ just let themselves go. I guess it is easy to do that if you are married and off the market, but I will never understand single guys who let themselves get fat.

I am 41 and in pretty good shape. "When you look good, you feel good"

 

[evan12]

Good for you. This one website where it talked about younger women and older men it said: "Young women pretty much want the wisdom and social status of the older man with a younger man's body"

I am amazed how a lot of guys 35+ just let themselves go. I guess it is easy to do that if you are married and off the market, but I will never understand single guys who let themselves get fat.

I am 41 and in pretty good shape. "When you look good, you feel good"

keep your self fit require a will , and some people lack will power . Keeping yourself in shape is always good , you will be more likable and trustable if you are in shape

 

[Xenom0rph]

In my experience the gym is the best bet for older guys to meet women of all ages, specifically the pool, hot tub, or sauna. The reason is because both the guy and gal can preview the goods. If you're fit, clean and relatively handsome you should have no problem. If you got tattoos that usually helps as a conversation starter.

But DON'T be one of those creepers that sneak into the ladies cardio classes, that's an automatic disqualifier for most women. And also don't be the guy that offers to help her with her form, that's also a creeper move.

What I've learned is that in a gym setting the roles are reveresed, meaning that she has to approach. If a guy approaches a random female in the gym it's viewed as taboo.

Here's the million $$$$$ dollar tip that's worked well for me: go on a crowded night, and let the ladies see you do wide-grip pull ups. If you're strong enough, do weighted wide-grip pull ups...wear a tank top if you can.

Women litterally get wet and h0rny seeing a guy do pull ups.

That's my trick. I'd do pull ups, then go out back to the cross training area and flip tires or just chill out with my shirt off. Women would "casually" walk by and smile. Some would try and start conversation.

If the convo is going well I usually try to ask her if she'd like to join me in the sauna or hot tub if she's got swim wear.

This strategy works with a decent 70% hit ratio.....

 

[The Duke]

I'm 41 and sick of the bar scene/club scene (it doesn't work anyway).

More and more I am seeing that women need to warm up to you first (e.g, know that you are safe), this is why bars are awful and meeting women thru mutual friends usually works.

What has worked for you?

Some women warm up to you in 5minutes, others may take a few dates before they fuhk you. Most of the time it comes down to how you ake them feel. 3 of the last 4 girls I have been out with fuhked the first nite. 2 of those came out of bars. I knew within the first 10minutes of conversation with the two bar girls that I would be having sex with them that night.

There is no one single "honey hole" where they are all at. There is no secret to any of it. I get women from bars, OLD, and social circles. You can find them most anywhere and everywhere. Don't limit yourself.

 

[oc16]

Cold approaches don't work

 

[corrector]

What I've learned is that in a gym setting the roles are reveresed, meaning that she has to approach. If a guy approaches a random female in the gym it's viewed as taboo.

Then if nobody is approaching you then that's not really an option. There is no real way of meeting women if you are an average looking type of guy since all the strategies start to fail. You are a creeper or stalker if you try to approach.

 

[americandude]

Those that say cold approaches don't work must just not be doing it right or are too scared to try. I'm 47 and recently divorced. I did a lot of cold approaches in 2018 and had decent success. I'm American and live in France, so having an accent when I speak French probably helps. I actually have a date tomorrow with a 32 year old I cold approached in Paris back in June when she was playing her accordion next to the Seine.

 

[SpanishFly]

Walking my dog. I don't do OLD, I'm past the club phase of life, and I'm not really interested in the type of women who go to bars to hook up. I've yet to discover a more efficient, pleasurable form of meeting quality ladies.