Height and OLD

HankHill

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Not really shaming anyone, people are free to do what they want of course. I've had women say 'you're taller than the last 6ft guy I went out with, lol'. So they know right away and they can then deduce (perhaps incorrectly) what type of other things you're not being truthful about...so since this was posted as an advice think it through before you act on it. Simply offering a counter-point.
 

Spaz

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Everybody lies.

Anyone who claims that they don't lie is a superb liar.

If a man wants to project that he's 6'0" in height when he's actually 5'5" then he has absolute rights to do so.

I would personally be interested in how he's going to frame that one when his date shows up, men could learn some frame skills from him.
 

guru1000

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Personally it isn't the lying it's literally my own ego prevents me from calibrating to their bullshyt lol. At a certain point you just recognize your inherent value based on your accomplishments and stop calibrating. If they don't appreciate me it's their problem not mine.
This is true.
Of course [I lied].
Bingo.

Whether you acknowledge the lie after you lie is irrelevant as OP can do the same. ==> And OP the truth-speaker, by acknowledging that he is lying upfront in his post--and not rationalizing like you, thus making you the liar.
 

AttackFormation

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Bingo.
Whether you acknowledge the lie after you lie is irrelevant as OP can do the same. ==> And OP the truth-speaker, by acknowledging that he is lying upfront in his post--and not rationalizing, thus making you the liar.
lmao, I knew you were going to selectively quote and gaslight me.
 

EyeBRollin

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The point of the OP is not inner game, it’s just acknowledging the simple, indisputable fact that a 5’8 guy will get more responses being 5’10-5’11 than listing his actual height. As sazc pointed out, some women already assume you’re shorter than what you list. You may as well take the couple inches. In a pure numbers game, you’re losing prospects by not doing so.

In the long run, you’re either out on the first date if she’s truly anal about it (and you lack proper footwear), or she’ll overlook it. Human nature leans towards the latter. There’s also the women that just have no concept of height to begin with.
 

guru1000

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There is some irony here for those of us that used to mightily struggle. We refused to calibrate because we believed Disney unconditional acceptance was true, and belived our intrinsic value should be appreciated. Then we calibrated, became successful, because the external reward system demanded it. Then we realized calibration was no longer worth it once our experiences mirrored our intrinsic view of self.
As to calibration: The goal is to win (without compromising my "structure"). All other arguments are irrelevant to me. The win is subjective. My win is to conquer her mentally. This goes beyond sex, dating, and LTRs.

I do whatever I need to do to win. If I needed to lie about my height to win, I would.

As to the inner aversion of calibrating to women which you raise: I look at calibration as two pronged (1) Inner calibration; (2) Outer calibration. In other words, I can calibrate my words to meet her needs (and not her wants), but not believe in (nor care about) my words, an effective "sales pitch" with no inner investment. So in such a context, am I truly calibrating?

However, "inner" calibrating to me holds a deeper stigma which essentially means changing your thinking (and thus who you are) to win her. This is what I won't do.
 

HankHill

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Isn't cat-fishing the same thing i.e. making oneself appear more attractive than they really are? so where do you draw the line? I guess the answer is do what works for you. I don't touch up my pics either yet I know guys do because I've heard women tell me and from what I gather they're immediately turned off and the attraction level plummets. This makes sense to my simpleton brain, when you promise more than you can deliver is always a turn off, in all aspects of life.
 

zekko

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I really don't have a fish to fry here, because I've never tried OLD and I most likely never will. But just because some of us don't want to lie about our heights and have given our reasoning for it, that doesn't equate to shaming other men. I've known guys who have lied to girls and had great success with doing so. In many cases, I'm sure the girls knew they were lies. But at least they made up a colorful lie. As the saying goes, everything beats boring. I just can't be bothered to lie to some random chick on the internet so they'll think I'm more appealing. I guess I don't care enough to.

Isn't cat-fishing the same thing i.e. making oneself appear more attractive than they really are? .
This is an issue I've been wondering about lately. I've been reading about these OLD strategies, and getting pictures taken that portray you in your best light and all. What happens when the date shows up and you don't look as good as your picture? I'm sure we've all seen pictures of women that were very appealing, but then when you see them in real life it was a disappointment.
 
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Macaframalama

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"To get the bytch, one must become the bytch". :lol:

Just up and tell her already. Tell her, that you value that pu$$y of hers, so dearly, that you are willing to forgo any shred of self-respect you may have had for yourself in lieu of her validation.

I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head, so I'm doing both. Is it really that hard for some guys out here?
 

Bible_Belt

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I'm not saying this in regard to anyone here, but I think the biggest reason that women don't want to date short men is that they all seem to have a complex about it. If you're short, just own it. List your height as 4' 2 1/2", your occupation as midget actor, describe yourself as "fun-sized,' and note that your hobbies include slow dance motorboating.
 

Bible_Belt

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That's their rationalizing but it has to do with the status/safety feeling of being with a tall guy and wanting tall kids. I met one Napoleon complex guy my whole life. Mostly it's a projection of "I'm not attracted to you so how dare you act confident" lol.
I met countless mma figters when I worked for a promotion. If a guy was over about five eight, he had daddy issues. If he was that height or under, he was a fighter because he had a complex about being short. The latter would often have dad as a corner man. The former's father would rarely even be there.
 

Fzatf

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I automatically subtract 2 inches from whatever the dude puts. If he doesn't put a height, I will eventually ask, and then subtract two inches :)

Last guy I met, on his profile he put 5'7". Okay, I thought, I'm 5'5" and what dude would lie about being 5'7"?

I get to the restaurant, I park and he's side leaning on his beemer (lol). I get out, walk over, give him a hug hello, and when he straightens up I realize that he is ABOUT AN INCH SHORTER than me. (I was wearing flat boots specifically because of his height) Not only was he shorter than me, but he was pretty slight. I felt like a fat pig next to him.

It sucked that he lied about his height

We had a decent time at dinner. There was one awkward silence which I filled. The NEXT story he tells me it's about his 'really good friend'. You know, the kind of friend that can go long periods in the car without talking because he 'doesn't get anxious about silence'. I thought that was pretty petty.

He didn't get ghosted immediately, we still chatted a bit over text while I contemplated if I should simply ghost him or be honest and say I didn't appreciate the height difference. I dislike being outright mean.

Eventually he sent a text that I planned on returning, but got busy and forgot (because I was low IL anyways) and we faded.
If women subtract 2 inches, should we add 2 inches when asked? I'm 5'10" and give out my actual height when asked. I wouldn't mind being 6 foot, but put me next to a true 6 footer and you'll see that 2 inch difference.
 

guru1000

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Zekko said:
I just can't be bothered to lie to some random chick on the internet so they'll think I'm more appealing. I guess I don't care enough to.
Because you don't need to. Don't paint lack of necessity as virtue.

We're all perfect saints to things we don't need. Have food restricted for a week, and let's see how your nobility holds up to your hunger.
 

zekko

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Because you don't need to. Don't paint lack of necessity as virtue.
Did I say it was a virtue? I'm just explaining my point of view, just as you are explaining yours.
I never said "Guys shouldn't do this". I just said I wasn't interested in it.
 

guru1000

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Did I say it was a virtue? I'm just explaining my point of view, just as you are explaining yours.
I never said "Guys shouldn't do this". I just said I wasn't interested in it.
There’s an implicit argument here that most of us encounter: choice vs necessity ==> choice in spite of necessity.

I was hoping to engage you deeper.
 
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