Recognizing sh!t tests. Date last night.

[flowtheory]

Right after I posted this, she messaged again (1 hour after her most previous text with):

Her: Flowtheory. I have no expectations of you, or myself. I just got the sense I’d misread your space. It’s not often that I let someone kiss my face in the middle of the street. I don’t know what to make of you.

 

[Spaz]

Her: I just got a notification from tinder, and went to look at your photo. Nice update.. I guess I misread you.

You should have lead her into your frame and made a counter.

If it was me : Let's daringly brave it out on another date to get to know each other more intimately.

Come join me for some fun at the theatre (insert movie) and later we'll both get a chance to explore each other out.

 

[flowtheory]

Should be in one ear and out the other as far as you're concerned.

I’m taking that with a grain of salt. But she does have expectations of us, because otherwise she wouldn’t have sent the earlier messages.

You should have lead her into your frame and made a counter.

If it was me : Let's daringly brave it out on another date to get to know each other more intimately.

Come join me for some fun at the theatre (insert movie) and later we'll both get a chance to explore each other out.

We can’t reward that kind of message with a date suggestion.. the date would have to be proposed from a place of strength.

 

[Spaz]

We can’t reward that kind of message with a date suggestion.. the date would have to be proposed from a place of strength.

Different frames produces different results.

From this reply I know we operate differently.

 

[flowtheory]

I don't mean to be judgmental or whatever, you do what you need to do, but honestly you shouldn't have even bothered quoting that message as it has no meaning, yet you did post it here verbatim so you are taking this stuff a little too seriously in my view. It's too much analysis for someone that could disappear tomorrow.

Could be valid that I am. I do like her, is all. My previous ex cheated on me, so I suppose I’m being quite fastidious with this case and it’s not necessary. My goal here is to learn how to better navigate relationships and the like. So that’s why I’m sharing verbatim and this part.

 

[flowtheory]

Different frames produces different results.

From this reply I know we operate differently.

I could tell that early on we do. I still value your opinion though.

 

[Spaz]

I could tell that early on we do. I still value your opinion though.

If that's the case then I'll tell you this, a man who is controlled by his emotions as evident in ur replies to her displays weaknesses in a man's character.

I do not find strength in that.

Again, I repeat, you should have brought her into ur frame from that 1st post by her, it serves to nullify any more unwanted discussion that you cannot possibly win.

 

[HankHill]

She likes you. Say little to nothing about all the girl talk which (the Tinder stuff) I didn't even understand nor about the kiss etc. FYI, you're sounding invested...back off the getting excited and feelings part a bit. Just say something like "Ha! well <name> you intrigue me and it's not often that I feel that way about someone who I've just met When are you free to get together again?"

 

[flowtheory]

If that's the case then I'll tell you this, a man who is controlled by his emotions as evident in ur replies to her displays weaknesses in a man's character.

I do not find strength in that.

Again, I repeat, you should have brought her into ur frame from that 1st post by her, it serves to nullify any more unwanted discussion that you cannot possibly win.

I’m not being controlled by my emotions though?
I don’t get how you see I’m being emotional with my texts with her...

 

[flowtheory]

She likes you. Say little to nothing about all the girl talk which (the Tinder stuff) I didn't even understand nor about the kiss etc. FYI, you're sounding invested...back off the getting excited and feelings part a bit. Just say something like "Ha! well <name> you intrigue me and it's not often that I feel that way about someone who I've just met When are you free to get together again?"

Yea I am a bit invested. I have a roster full of women, and saw a new chick last night who I banged.
So It is rare I have feelings like the ones I have with this woman I’m talking about. Trying to not care so much so soon.

Good reply! Thanks @HankHill

 

[flowtheory]

Yea I am a bit invested. I have a roster full of women, and saw a new chick last night who I banged.
So It is rare I have feelings like the ones I have with this woman I’m talking about. Trying to not care so much so soon.

Good reply! Thanks @HankHill

Dates planned. All good. I don’t think there’s ever been any issues with this woman really. Sometimes on SoSuave we can read too much in to things and stub our own toes, so to speak. Overthinking.

 

[lamath]

I’m taking that with a grain of salt. But she does have expectations of us, because otherwise she wouldn’t have sent the earlier messages.


We can’t reward that kind of message with a date suggestion.. the date would have to be proposed from a place of strength.

Not always ez to keep the perfect frame, i think you did good. Im pretty sure i would have not done better.

Only anwser im thinking about is, dont worry about it lets go see the grinch lol.

Spaz anwser might or might not have work in keeping frame/changing discussion. Some women will not let the subject drop.
I guess that could be a sign to next here

 

[flowtheory]

Not always ez to keep the perfect frame, i think you did good. Im pretty sure i would have not done better.

Only anwser im thinking about is, dont worry about it lets go see the grinch lol.

Spaz anwser might or might not have work in keeping frame/changing discussion. Some women will not let the subject drop.
I guess that could be a sign to next here

Yea it’s about finding what works for each individuals frame. The important aspect is just not to bend too much. There’s always going to be fluctuations. But I did good. Communication is really important to me in every aspect, so I wanted her to verbalize what was going on.

Yes I could have just stopped her right at the first message and suggested a date like @Spaz said, however her talking and revealing more through a little prodding probably makes her feel more because she has to step out of what’s comfortable for her.

 

[Spaz]

Not always ez to keep the perfect frame, i think you did good. Im pretty sure i would have not done better.

Only anwser im thinking about is, dont worry about it lets go see the grinch lol.

Spaz anwser might or might not have work in keeping frame/changing discussion. Some women will not let the subject drop.
I guess that could be a sign to next here

Frame is always an accumulation of principles.

The more you have it or the better the principle is, the stronger the frame becomes.

That's how it works.