Recognizing sh!t tests. Date last night.

[HankHill]

There are those who don't add anything constructive.
There are those who are asking to be banned.
There are even those who get banned yet keep coming back under different names.

Best to not waste time responding because that's what they're looking for...attention, give them 0 attention. The ignore button is your friend

 

[guru1000]

Would appreciate your insights @guru1000 , @HankHill

Here are my thoughts:

There’s nothing better than being in the middle of a date and recognizing when a woman is sh!t testing you.

Was on a first date last night with a attractive woman - solid HB8, lawyer, 27. Had lots of fun. Went to a bar with pinball, foosball, football throwing machine, pool tables. We had drinks. She nursed her wine forever, and we set up a second date at the end.

During the night, I was grabbing change for the foosball machine and she was getting excited/anxious, as she’s quite competitive. At the time I walked to the bar a guy came in and came up somewhat beside me and started talking loudly with the barkeep. He was ..somewhat.. attractive?, bigger than me by about two inches, rougher looking, seemed cool but also loud and extroverted. I think this is what some call Alpha. He had a friend in tow who followed his lead also.

Anyways. As he approaches the bar at the same time I do. HB8 is saying something to me from a distance but I can’t hear, so I turn back to the bar. Then she comes directly over excitedly but childlike and says she’s super competitive and we shouldn’t play because of some reason I can’t remember, blah blah. I laugh and she walks away.
As she’s walking away this guy turns to me and her and says ‘what’s going on now?’ (Like wtf buddy? Who are you? And why does it concern you, first of all) and so I say “oh she’s just.. competitive”.

I wouldn't have engaged his question, as it's none of his business.

And then he turns to her and says something and she responds and talks about foosball or something.. he completely drops the bar and trying to get pooltable balls and gives her full attention and then heh walks over to her and the foosball machine and starts walking her through the game of foosball!! (haha!). Right away I know what’s going on. So I turn and continue to get change and order my drink. As I finally do, I go back over and they’re side-by-side and he’s showing her how to fan the little players. And as I put my drinks down, I speak up and say “No fanning! This is a good clean match!” And as I do, buddy and HB8 laugh and then he immediately walks away.

This is good.

In all my encounters, I never had a guy move in while I was on a date. I would encourage you to develop a more commanding dominating presence. This is not solely based on your size and build, but rather how you carry yourself: your voice tonality, mannerisms, body language. Seems like he observed you and how you acted with her and then moved in.

As to the fighting discussion above: Yes, there can come much liability by engaging a fist fight, but walking away from a fist fight can carry a much larger psychological liability (for some). Though, he didn't do anything that warranted a fist fight. You handled it well, outside of being in that type of situation to begin with.

As to the girl: Feminine women rely on the man to direct social interactions, so her not saying anything by her own accord might demonstrate she holds strongly to her feminine nature ... and thus is likely looking for masculine energy to direct her.

 

[Spaz]

You are stating a hypothetical as if it were absolute truth. You've never seen the guy, don't know what he looks like or what his body language looks like.

Chuck Liddell and Brock Lesnar are and were "bullied" by random smaller guys. This is because of how they project of course. These bullies instinctively pick on Chuck Liddell and Brock Lesnar.

You sound stupid.

 

[guru1000]

You sound stupid.

That's Naughty Ninja, our little friend.

 

[longtail]

You sound stupid.

LOL, butthurt because you were proven wrong. Go hide under another bridge, troll.

 

[longtail]

Here are my thoughts:

I wouldn't have engaged his question, as it's none of his business.


This is good.

In all my encounters, I never had a guy move in while I was on a date. I would encourage you to develop a more commanding dominating presence. This is not solely based on your size and build, but rather how you carry yourself: your voice tonality, mannerisms, body language. Seems like he observed you and how you acted with her and then moved in.

As to the fighting discussion above: Yes, there can come much liability by engaging a fist fight, but walking away from a fist fight can carry a much larger psychological liability (for some). Though, he didn't do anything that warranted a fist fight. You handled it well, outside of being in that type of situation to begin with.

As to the girl: Feminine women rely on the man to direct social interactions, so her not saying anything by her own accord might demonstrate she holds strongly to her feminine nature ... and thus is likely looking for masculine energy to direct her.

Probably because you had common sense enough to avoid bars for "dates."

Nowadays, it's exceedingly difficult to prevent other guys from talking to your date, girlfriend or wife. It's also exceedingly difficult to prevent your date, girlfriend or wife from talking to other guys. This is normal now. It's abnormal, but normal.

I'd be lying if I said there were rhyme or reason to this. Some of my friends who are 5'4" are never challenged when talking to girls. I could come up with some lame alpha/beta theory for it.

And I've also seen my 6'4" and 6'5" 250 pound friends challenged to fights by both men and women. I could come up with some lame spaz style theory for it.

This has nothing to do with sh1t tests, body language, alpha persona or "aura" or any of that woo woo b.s. This is stupid behavior that takes place in bars.

 

[lamath]

Probably because you had common sense enough to avoid bars for "dates."

Nowadays, it's exceedingly difficult to prevent other guys from talking to your date, girlfriend or wife. It's also exceedingly difficult to prevent your date, girlfriend or wife from talking to other guys. This is normal now. It's abnormal, but normal.

I'd be lying if I said there were rhyme or reason to this. Some of my friends who are 5'4" are never challenged when talking to girls. I could come up with some lame alpha/beta theory for it.

And I've also seen my 6'4" and 6'5" 250 pound friends challenged to fights by both men and women. I could come up with some lame spaz style theory for it.

This has nothing to do with sh1t tests, body language, alpha persona or "aura" or any of that woo woo b.s. This is stupid behavior that takes place in bars.

Seriously idk where you guys go on date but here i Canada unless you go to a night club guys wont hit on your date

 

[Spaz]

Here are my thoughts:

I wouldn't have engaged his question, as it's none of his business.


This is good.

In all my encounters, I never had a guy move in while I was on a date. I would encourage you to develop a more commanding dominating presence. This is not solely based on your size and build, but rather how you carry yourself: your voice tonality, mannerisms, body language. Seems like he observed you and how you acted with her and then moved in.

As to the fighting discussion above: Yes, there can come much liability by engaging a fist fight, but walking away from a fist fight can carry a much larger psychological liability (for some). Though, he didn't do anything that warranted a fist fight. You handled it well, outside of being in that type of situation to begin with.

As to the girl: Feminine women rely on the man to direct social interactions, so her not saying anything by her own accord might demonstrate she holds strongly to her feminine nature ... and thus is likely looking for masculine energy to direct her.

Exactly.

 

[flowtheory]

I dont think you handle the situation that badly
Geting into a fight is just ridiculous its a lose lose situation.

I think there was some disrespect there, but once it happened you handle it ok.

Only bad thing imo is you choose to bring to that place.

You having a 2nd date with her ?
Or things did not turn out?

Yea she was interested at the end of the date. Gave a bunch of compliments m then sent me her number through tinder the following day without me asking. (He had just communicated via tinder prior to the first date)
We’re going to a Christmas exhibit tomorrow evening.

Here are my thoughts:

I wouldn't have engaged his question, as it's none of his business.


This is good.

In all my encounters, I never had a guy move in while I was on a date. I would encourage you to develop a more commanding dominating presence. This is not solely based on your size and build, but rather how you carry yourself: your voice tonality, mannerisms, body language. Seems like he observed you and how you acted with her and then moved in.

As to the fighting discussion above: Yes, there can come much liability by engaging a fist fight, but walking away from a fist fight can carry a much larger psychological liability (for some). Though, he didn't do anything that warranted a fist fight. You handled it well, outside of being in that type of situation to begin with.

As to the girl: Feminine women rely on the man to direct social interactions, so her not saying anything by her own accord might demonstrate she holds strongly to her feminine nature ... and thus is likely looking for masculine energy to direct her.

Good insight. Yea I shouldn’t have even responded. I was in a good mood and just stated it simply.

 

[flowtheory]

Seriously idk where you guys go on date but here i Canada unless you go to a night club guys wont hit on your date

This is the first time I’ve ever had to deal with this.

 

[ubercat]

I agree with BB although my style would probably be a little bit more moderate.

Never regard the woman's puvssy as made of gold. They are like buses another one will be along shortly. Cultivating that self amused attitude and being a bit of an arseh0le helps with the game immensely. That's more important than any date regardless of how hot the chick

BTW OP handled the situation well. I'm talking about the long-term attitudes that you want to instill.

 

[flowtheory]

So I have the second date tonight with this woman. Looking forward to it.

I have a question about second dates. And this would be under the thought you haven’t yet kissed the woman on the first. So the attraction and physicality of it all is still in question.

Upon seeing the woman on approach do you guys hug the woman then proceed to kiss her on the cheek? And start more escalation from there

Or should that before forgone, and you simply greet her normally without hugging/kiss and proceed to let the experience unfold?

also.. is it okay to tell a woman “it’s good to see you again” or is that weak?

And yes I’m overthinking.

 

[lamath]

So I have the second date tonight with this woman. Looking forward to it.

I have a question about second dates. And this would be under the thought you haven’t yet kissed the woman on the first. So the attraction and physicality of it all is still in question.

Upon seeing the woman on approach do you guys hug the woman then proceed to kiss her on the cheek? And start more escalation from there

Or should that before forgone, and you simply greet her normally without hugging/kiss and proceed to let the experience unfold?

also.. is it okay to tell a woman “it’s good to see you again” or is that weak?

And yes I’m overthinking.

Go with what look more natural to you
But need to look confident.
A confident hug is optimal imo
Dont go for the hug if you cant do it in a confident way

 

[flowtheory]

Go with what look more natural to you
But need to look confident.
A confident hug is optimal imo
Dont go for the hug if you cant do it in a confident way

I’m a relatively confident person.
My confusion in this area stems from conflicting advice - I remember someone on this board in a different thread saying “don’t hug on dates; that’s for friends”.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I am not a hugger. Let her hug you if she wants to. At least feel her up as payment for being forced to tolerate a hug.

And get ready for the marriage material job interview questions. They are coming, I assure you.

 

[flowtheory]

I am not a hugger. Let her hug you if she wants to. At least feel her up as payment for being forced to tolerate a hug.

And get ready for the marriage material job interview questions. They are coming, I assure you.

Lol tolerate a hug... man

Haha why get ready for marriage material job interview questions? Because she’s 27?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Haha why get ready for marriage material job interview questions? Because she’s 27?

More because of the law degree. Every single girl I talked to at law school got married soon after graduation...even one who went lesbo.

 

[R.U.G.]

Been there before flowcontrol. I feel ya. I just get up and walk. I also make sure, if it's in the middle of a date, to block the biatch so she can't get ahold of me again. In addition, so it doesn't look like I'm skimping out on the bill, I find the waiter or host and give them a 20 to cover my half. I just say, I have a family emergency, here's for mine, the woman said she's covering her half. Anything extra you can keep.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Did you ever date one? My impression was no one seeks a controllable man more than they do but I haven't dated my own kind yet. I wouldn't mind it just because at least they can talk about something interesting.

Maybe one or two They tended to marry the secure, stable, provider type guys, and often have children with them.

 

[flowtheory]

Update: we went out last night. Christmas venue and then we drove to a swanky area and had a drink at a great bar. Great chemistry and a great time. Made out when I dropped her off at public transit spot. Great kiss.
No contact afterwards, or during the day.

———-
Fast forward to 9pm tonight.

Her: I just got a notification from tinder, and went to look at your photo. Nice update.. I guess I misread you.

Me: What are you talking about?

Her: I feel silly even talking about this, so I’ll just say - I assume you don’t want to hang out again. Thanks for a nice time. I felt something.

Me: I value communication. Drama, not so much. I’m all ears to know what’s on your mind right now..

Her: I’m hardly being dramatic, just honest.

Me: Honest about what though?

Her: I just noticed your caption. It seems updated from last night, which I don’t know because I haven’t read it since we met I think. But the thing about lucky charms cereal and running in the woods seems straight out of our conversation.
And there’s no way for that to not sound idiotic^, so now I’m just embarrassed and there

Me: I revised that a week ago..

Her: ..well then.

———-

It’s kind of a funny conversation. Clearly she likes me. The whole time I knew she was talking about my profile write up on tinder being changed. But, I wanted to see how she handled herself and to kind of set the bar here and show her I need good communication and won’t put up with drama.
I think I handled this well on my part.

But the question now...
Red flags? Or is this simply dealing with a woman who clearly has high interest?

I like this woman. We have great conversation and laugh quite a bit together. Just being cautious.

Before all this happened I was going to wait until tomorrow and then invite her to watch the new grinch movie with me in theatres. But now I’m thinking to have silence until Tuesday and then propose the same date for Wednesday evening. And while at the same time giving her a full day to maybe even suggest something.
Thoughts..?