My Ex & Friends EX- All rolled into one workplace. Mess!

[MT93]

Went to the gym today, ex's brother in law was in there. We trained, had a good session.

Think the reason I feel as low was because he spoke about the situation a bit, just said how my ex had messaged him

"If you want to train with MT93 then don't feel awkward, its no problem with me at all, looking forward to you coming round on boxing day and spending the day getting drunk with the family"

That was the day I was meant to be going round man......S*its messed up lol

 

[lamath]

I wasnt Spaz, I don't work in the same dept... (just the same building)
We will have our own Christmas night out

I just know they will all be out having a blast, she will more than likely hook up with someone and I will probably be getting slated, not a good feeling.

Good riddance you better off without her
Hook up with other girl she is hotter anyway

 

[MT93]

Good riddance you better off without her
Hook up with other girl she is hotter anyway

She is

 

[lamath]

Went to the gym today, ex's brother in law was in there. We trained, had a good session.

Think the reason I feel as low was because he spoke about the situation a bit, just said how my ex had messaged him

"If you want to train with MT93 then don't feel awkward, its no problem with me at all, looking forward to you coming round on boxing day and spending the day getting drunk with the family"

That was the day I was meant to be going round man......S*its messed up lol

You know she wanted that msg to get to you
Only way she found to hurt you.
So dont react to it she wants a reaction from you

 

[MT93]

You know she wanted that msg to get to you
Only way she found to hurt you.
So dont react to it she wants a reaction from you

Do you think so?

 

[lamath]

Do you think so?

Ofc its like when she told your friend

Imo she is not even dating material only good for pump and dump
You are better off

 

[Spaz]

I wasnt Spaz, I don't work in the same dept... (just the same building)
We will have our own Christmas night out

I just know they will all be out having a blast, she will more than likely hook up with someone and I will probably be getting slated, not a good feeling.

If it was me I won't be bothered of what other people are doing or going to be doing.

I'm a naturally dismissive man, more inclined to plan on what I'm doing or going to amuse myself with rather then what others are doing.

Different mindsets produces different outcomes.

 

[MT93]

Ok, we have an update folks.

I've continue to hammer the HB9.5, here's the rub, I have a few other plates (maybe around 4 or 5) all HB7 or above

The 9.5 has cottoned onto this and yesterday when we met up said the following:

"I really like you, I can really see this going somewhere, if you want someone who will look after you and give you everything you need you know where I am, however, I have a lot of respect for myself, I know what I bring to the table and I'm not willing to play second best to any other female, we can still be cool if you choose not to pursue things with me (we were friends before anything romantic happened) I hope you make the right choice"

Issue is, I've been spinning a couple of the other plates for a few months and wont be as simple just breaking off with them.

Any thoughts guys? first time in this particular predicament.

This girl is really cool man, I'm still in the early stages of dating her so red flags aren't going to be as prominent yet, that is a big risk.

Also the situation surrounding the 'friend' as discussed earlier in the thread, could I make anything official with this girl?

F*ck

 

[MT93]

She's so damn Peng though

 

[lamath]

Seems a bit early to go exclusive no?

Seems like an ultimatum to me

A little bit of reading from Rollo

https://therationalmale.com/2012/05/07/ultimatum/

 

[Spaz]

Seems a bit early to go exclusive no?

Seems like an ultimatum to me

A little bit of reading from Rollo

https://therationalmale.com/2012/05/07/ultimatum/

Haha it's the 1st time I've visited Rollo's blog.

The man has some really good insights.

 

[Ranger]

Haha it's the 1st time I've visited Rollo's blog.

The man has some really good insights.

He is the most definitive writer on the dynamics that I have read. There’s no pick-up in it or any of that stuff. Just the impulse to educate men on the real life situation that men face.

There is very little on HOW to get a man to change his frame because there really isn’t anything on it or anywhere else where you can flip a man over in his thinking. That is really about the man.

No matter how long a man stays on SS, some will never take the leap. Those things they can’t let go of are just something some men don’t have the capacity to let go of.

 

[Spaz]

No matter how long a man stays on SS, some will never take the leap. Those things they can’t let go of are just something some men don’t have the capacity to let go of.

When a man rejects overwhelming evidence of his failures in a relationship with women, it's a type of defence mechanism meant to protect his psyche from mentally disturbing facts and ideas - going back to "how he thinks".

And in every situation with any future women/relationships he will most likely end up with the same results.

This will continue unabated until something changes. Want to take a wild guess on what changes Ranger ?

 

[lamath]

So a man need to start owning up to his mistake

When a man rejects overwhelming evidence of his failures in a relationship with women, it's a type of defence mechanism meant to protect his psyche from mentally disturbing facts and ideas - going back to "how he thinks".

And in every situation with any future women/relationships he will most likely end up with the same results.

This will continue unabated until something changes. Want to take a wild guess on what changes Ranger ?

When things repeat themself that often the problem is you not others

So a man need to take himself accountable and take responsability for his failure.

 

[Ranger]

When a man rejects overwhelming evidence of his failures in a relationship with women, it's a type of defence mechanism meant to protect his psyche from mentally disturbing facts and ideas - going back to "how he thinks".

And in every situation with any future women/relationships he will most likely end up with the same results.

This will continue unabated until something changes. Want to take a wild guess on what changes Ranger ?

THats a pretty good question @Spaz Perhaps it’s when he confronts his “truth” and realizes that there isn’t anything about it that is true.

 

[Ranger]

This will continue unabated until something changes. Want to take a wild guess on what changes Ranger ?

The one thing I do know is that with every great leap in my life, I searched out a mentor in the area I was having trouble in. When you don’t have a mentor and your ego is in charge, the road is long and brutal and you will always have mediocrity in your life.
It’s a way of passing skills and excellence on. It’s about competence. Being competent

 

[Spaz]

@Ranger and @lamath you're both right and you both will do well going forward in every aspects of your life as you both understand the process of getting the results you want in life.

 

[Spaz]

The one thing I do know is that with every great leap in my life, I searched out a mentor in the area I was having trouble in. When you don’t have a mentor and your ego is in charge, the road is long and brutal and you will always have mediocrity in your life.
It’s a way of passing skills and excellence on. It’s about competence. Being competent

Exactly.

Women has their feminine intuition.

While men has mentors.

 

[Ranger]

Exactly.

Women has their feminine intuition.

While men has mentors.

Oh that’s gold. I never thought about that. It’s true. Women have that collective thinking phenomenon.
Without mentors we have failure. I’m going to think about this for a few days.

Men today have mommy and women. The media. Political persuasions etc. the idea of masculine has been attacked so thoroughly that men have no place to turn.

That is another great thought @Spaz.

Some years back, I was working in Anchorage, Alaska. I was a better than average traditional archer. But I was not a GREAT traditional archer.

So a world class archer came to Alaska and was holding a seminar in Wasilla. The next town up from Anchorage.
I paid my money and drove up there.

So what makes a great student? A man who is coachable. I hit it off really quickly with the guy. I bonded with him very quickly. I would throw out everything I thought I knew and start from scratch.

Being competent in the things I am already, I knew that to reach the level I aspired to that it meant that there was something holding me back. And there was. I had read so many things previously that the truth was obscured. I’ve probably made over a million shots in my life but there was something missing.

But because I was willing to throw out everything and listen to the guy, we bonded. I think mentors and students is a hard wired inclination. But we have been so thoroughly programmed by the imperative that it is obscured.

Today, I am a world class traditional archer. I left my ego at the doorstep. The guy who taught me at the seminar had his mentor as well. That’s how we do it.

I am going to explore these things in my mind the next few days. Thanks brother.

 

[lamath]

Great thing to think about.

Back to the subject
In case you did not read Rollo page, an Ultimatum is a sign of powerlessness
So its a attempt to bring you into her frame.
So you either have to ignore it or bring up the fact that before you go exclusive you need to know someone very well and that you7 guys dont know each other well enough yet.

Its a great opportunity to set up some boundries.

also go read Rollo page on this it will help you understand it better.