but we've all seen a 5 or a 6 with a 9 or a 10 so how does it happen?
You are somehow locked into the idea that women care about looks as much as men/you do.
Looks are important for women, but men can get away with sub par looks much easier than girls can.
A guy can overcompensate for a lack of looks with personality, social skills, presence, frame, etc.
Evolution is the reason.
Women are hard wired to be unconsciously attracted to SIGNS of power and status, which INCLUDE non-physical features such as social skills, presence, game, etc. These indicate (subconsciously and genetically) more chances of healthy offspring.
Men are unconsciously attracted to SIGNS that indicate more chances of healthy offspring. In women, this translates mostly to looks, e.g. youth.
It is, therefore, much more likely (from pure science and biology) for a attractive girl to be with a PHYSICALLY unattractive guy than it is for a high status guy to be with a physically unattractive girl.
When YOU see a "six" she may not. You cannot judge's a man's value by his looks NEARLY AS MUCH as you can judge a women's value by her looks.
This is why YOU are wasting your time worrying about your looks and photos when you SHOULD be doing things to increase your presence / frame / social skills.
This means working on these things on STRANGERS, especially attractive strangers, NOT YOUR FRIENDS OR CLIENTS.
This is YOUR Red Pill, Dave:
Unless you can approach and start an enjoyable conversation with an attractive women, you will NEVER enjoy romantic or sexual success.
But because you are SO TERRIFIED to even CONTEMPLATE this, your cognitive dissonance will ONLY allow you to focus on your PHYSICAL appearance.
Which is why you keep ignoring any advice about improving your game and cling DESPERATELY to any advice related to how to best take a picture, or get your face chiseled.