My Ex & Friends EX- All rolled into one workplace. Mess!

[Spaz]

How should i behave if i see either of them around the workplace?

I feel as though I am going through the break up process all over again

If you see ur ex, be polite, acknowledge her presence by nodding as you pass by and reduce her to someone who is irrelevant.

For your friend, he might be still hurting, keep tearing down his defences by being approachable and friendly. Don't worry, even the toughest enemy will think it's ridiculous to fight over an ex over an extended period.

 

[lamath]

If you see ur ex, be polite, acknowledge her presence by nodding as you pass by and reduce her to someone who is irrelevant.

For your friend, he might be still hurting, keep tearing down his defences by being approachable and friendly. Don't worry, even the toughest enemy will think it's ridiculous to fight over an ex over an extended period.

Good advice there
Friend is upset time will make it better

 

[Ranger]

Men kill each other over a woman.

 

[MT93]

Yeah, ill be extremely surprised if he ever allows me back anywhere near him.

He is very ANTI ex's, if that makes sense? He will literally cut me off as if I don't exist I can assure you.

 

[Ranger]

Yeah, ill be extremely surprised if he ever allows me back anywhere near him.

He is very ANTI ex's, if that makes sense? He will literally cut me off as if I don't exist I can assure you.

This is a man who has been dumped a lot. But I think he will eventually come around.
I don’t understand it but I don’t have to. It’s real for some.

 

[MT93]

Thanks all for your advice today, really starting to get me down slightly now.

The break up happened just as I was moving into a new role (last week) and now I have this added stress through my own doing....

Not the greatest enviroment atm when starting a new job

 

[lamath]

Thanks all for your advice today, really starting to get me down slightly now.

The break up happened just as I was moving into a new role (last week) and now I have this added stress through my own doing....

Not the greatest enviroment atm when starting a new job

Take time for yourself do fun stuff to change your mind

If you friend is too hardheaded on you dating his ex, he is not worth your time

 

[MT93]

He isn't giving me the opportunity to speak with him over it anyway to be honest..
It is what it is at this point, fingers crossed there are no issues dragged up at work and I dont hear of horror stories mentioned across the business.

That's the only thing that can benefit right now.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Hi All- Apologies for the post in advance will try and keep as brief as possible but cover what I need to, heads all over the place.

My first post was on here a few months ago surrounding a chick who gave me the “im not ready speech” Truthfully, we have been on and off ever since – the whole thing has been ongoing since February, so we have been seeing each other for quite a while, there was the whole issue of her ex resurfacing and her IL being low etc etc, disrespecting.

She eventually asked me to be exclusive in October (on her birthday funnily enough) I sensed a red flag, as her ex had just gotten into a RS, but brushed it off and thought if she wants to make the commitment then we will give it a try, I gave it a go as best as possible, I could sense her IL was constantly up and down and last week she explained whilst she loved me, she doesn’t think she “will ever be IN love with me”

She said its not fair and that whilst she doesn’t want to break up with me, she feels me and her will never really work out, I explained that was fine, do not worry about it, lets not waste each others time anymore and wished her the best. That was that, implemented NC.

She sent me a text a week later saying she hoped I was ok etc etc, I ignored the questions and point blank asked for a meet, she was very enthusiastic, we met up and she was remorseful explaining shouldn’t have ended it how she did blah blah blah.

Long story short – this is the F*cked bit, a mutual friend I know from our workplace, since the break up, his ex has been really good with me, friendly, flirty, asking for dates etc, she is a HB 9.5 (unbelievable seriously), they have been broken up for around a year after being together for a couple of months – no exaggeration, I got blasted with the boys on Saturday and ended up taking her back, the rest is history.

She is very eager to continue meeting etc, this would ultimately destroy the friendship I have with my pal, he is very “Bro Code’esque” and truthfully I do feel slightly guilty.

My ex – who has had me like a yo-yo, has caught wind of the situation, I'm not sure whether anyone saw us together whilst out etc, but she has also said she saw us liking each other pics on Instagram etc and knows we was together.

Well last night I got a text from my said friend “So what’s going on with you and S*****”


MY EX HAS ONLY GONE AND TOLD HIM!!! Apparently she gave him a lift home from work yesterday and spilled all about how she knows me and this girl got together etc etc, I was absolutely raging.
Called her and asked if she had spoken to him – the response was “Haha yeah, I’ve had a conversation with him” – I cut off and that was that. I have never been so angry in my life, my friend has told me to never speak to him again and blocked me, not even a chance for an explanation.


What do I do man??? My head is so screwed.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay I read your story and this is the reason why you don't date co-workers and I'm sure someone mentioned this in this thread. I made that mistake years ago and guess what? She stayed there for 15/16 years. Now at one point she didn't have to work there anymore but she still did. I think she did it to bother me subconsciously or even consciously. She finally left after I gave her the cold shoulder around X-Mas time in 2006 when I ignored her waving at me. I ignored her and blew her off and she resigned soon after that. They can stay around and this is why I won't date a co-worker anymore. This what could happen and after that I blew her off I never ever heard from her again. I've made my point known on my Facebook page not to contact me when she hits the wall which she hit years ago.

 

[marmel75]

I did get what I wanted, I just feel guilty due to it being a friends Ex, he will more than likely make my name mud around the workplace etc etc

The new girl wants to see where things go etc etc but I don't want to be labelled a "snake" thing is, she displayed good values and traits when I was going through a difficult time (Break up) I'd had a few beers, I acted on it....

The bit now that's really making me burn up inside is the fact my ex has felt the need to broadcast it, when the situation was reversed she was adamant I must not discuss our break up affairs with work colleagues!!

So what gives her the right to discuss my business?
For this reason, I felt I have lost..

Does that make sense?

Both my ex and friend are blocked on every aspect of social media, contact etc etc, may still run into them if we cross paths in our building, whats best way to act?

Apologies for raw emotion, this literally happened last night.

Thanks

A "snake"? Did you break them up? Did you actively pursue her while they were still dating? Did you knowingly have sex with her while they were still together?

You said they had been broke up for a year. She is fair game.

 

[MT93]

A "snake"? Did you break them up? Did you actively pursue her while they were still dating? Did you knowingly have sex with her while they were still together?

You said they had been broke up for a year. She is fair game.

Really needed to hear this tonight, mate, thank you. I didnt pursue her, or break them up, or even acknowledge her whilst they were dating, its still against his beliefs however.

The ex, ex-friend and there entire department have all gone out for there Christmas night out tonight, feeling quite low and down...

Not handling this no where near as well as I should be

 

[Ranger]

Really needed to hear this tonight, mate, thank you. I didnt pursue her, or break them up, or even acknowledge her whilst they were dating, its still against his beliefs however.

The ex, ex-friend and there entire department have all gone out for there Christmas night out tonight, feeling quite low and down...

Not handling this no where near as well as I should be

Being broke up for a year is a pretty long time. I think he has more issues than what he claims is the reasoning.

 

[MT93]

Being broke up for a year is a pretty long time. I think he has more issues than what he claims is the reasoning.

The issue is his beliefs are "You never ever go near a friends ex regardless"

 

[Ranger]

The issue is his beliefs are "You never ever go near a friends ex regardless"

I understand. That still means he has issues far beyond the subject. He wasn’t married with children with her. They didn’t have a house. She didn’t rob him of his hard earned money, etc.

I wonder how long he is going to pine over this woman who doesn’t want him?

 

[Ranger]

The issue is his beliefs are "You never ever go near a friends ex regardless"

He’s just mad because a friend is fukking her now. As if it’s made of gold and never stinks.

 

[MT93]

I understand. That still means he has issues far beyond the subject. He wasn’t married with children with her. They didn’t have a house. She didn’t rob him of his hard earned money, etc.

I wonder how long he is going to pine over this woman who doesn’t want him?

Yes, I agree. Think its already started to spread to our mutual friends etc, not been a good couple of days man.

Would not surprise me if those 2 hooked up tonight out of spite...

 

[lamath]

I understand. That still means he has issues far beyond the subject. He wasn’t married with children with her. They didn’t have a house. She didn’t rob him of his hard earned money, etc.

I wonder how long he is going to pine over this woman who doesn’t want him?

Prob did take it hard because she was higher SMV than him.

Still he should have goten over it

 

[Spaz]

The ex, ex-friend and there entire department have all gone out for there Christmas night out tonight, feeling quite low and down...

I take it you were invited as well but decided not to go?

If so why ?

 

[MT93]

I take it you were invited as well but decided not to go?

If so why ?

I wasnt Spaz, I don't work in the same dept... (just the same building)
We will have our own Christmas night out

I just know they will all be out having a blast, she will more than likely hook up with someone and I will probably be getting slated, not a good feeling.