Online dating experts, I need your help

[HankHill]

Big news for you Hank and others reading.

If a girl gives you a cheek at the end of the first date, that's not necessarily a rejection. Nor is a girl making out with you a sign of high IL.

Some girls needs more sexual comfort or have an internalized rule that they don't kiss on the first date. Some of my highest quality relations started with multiple kiss rejections on the first date.

Now stop being a princess and ask for the second date.

LOL very true! But I'm coupling that with no txt from her saying 'thanks again for the drinks, it was great meeting you...' etc. So chances are low IL but WTH I'll send her a txt since it doesn't cost me anything. 'Hey HB, it was fun meeting you over drinks, too bad I didn't get a chance to see all your dance moves (man she could pop that thang'! to the background live music). Let me know when you're free to grab dinner next week I'm open to trying out that roof top bar you're talking about'.

 

[guru1000]

LOL very true! But I'm coupling that with no txt from her saying 'thanks again for the drinks, it was great meeting you...' etc. So chances are low IL but WTH I'll send her a txt since it doesn't cost me anything. 'Hey HB, it was fun meeting you over drinks, too bad I didn't get a chance to see all your dance moves (man she could pop that thang'! to the background live music). Let me know when you're free to grab dinner next week I'm open to trying out that roof top bar you're talking about'.

I’ve also had first date kiss rejections and no follow up texts from them that transmuted into great relations because I asked for the second date.

Don’t marry only your perspective. Look at hers as well. She could have been recently ghosted, hurt, played, pumped and dumped. She could be old school, allowing the man to lead. She could think that you didn’t like her. The rapport could have been lacking or not enough comfort built. She could be ...

Want to know for sure? Ask for the date.

Fragile egos gets crushed in the market.

 

[bigdave17]

You're doing fine. Just take something away from the experience and keep moving forward.

If you have a good physique, dress well, smell good, are friendly, make a good living.... you are already good enough to do well with women. You do not need to derail and radically change strategies because things didn't go perfectly as planned the first time. You just need to fine tune things; dial in. And there is a lot of fine tuning to do here. It's going to take a little while.

Keep it simple. Keep moving forward. You'll get there.

my luck with online dating has been absolutely horrific

my pics have rated on photofeeler

1 - 7 looks 9 trust
2- 7.4 looks 5 trust
3 - 6 looks 5 trust

if i get pics that rate in that 8.5 to 9.5 range, will i really have any success??

I'm getting nothing on okcupid, match, plenty of fish, tinder, bumble. I'm really struggling having any faith with online dating.

 

[bigdave17]

And don't think you're above the women the rest of us date, you're not a special snowflake.

For example, this was a couple of pages back how you won't date women with these aspects:

- vegans - my ex wife was a vegan, she converted because of her love for animals...it didn't affect me one bit and as a side benefit her sweat didn't stink, seriously.
- feminists - many women say that because it's the in thing these days but in my experience with the right guy in the picture they submit
- hardcore liberals - again, it's all relative...so what? in fact, it's good to hear opposing views (like here) and you might learn something!
- tattoo/piercing freaks - great casual sex you could ask for but ok may be not LTR material for some
- women who can't spell properly - OK Mr. Oxford and Yale! Dude you sell cars, gimme a break! lol
- religious broads - ok fine you got me on this one but I still hit 'em up and see for myself before simply passing them up

i want a normal chick who does not give a fck about religion or politics and eats meat with me on the daily. i don't like feminists either

I'm not saying those are all inherently horrible things but they're extremely unappealing to me

 

[sazc]

I’ve also had first date kiss rejections and no follow up texts from them that transmuted into great relations because I asked for the second date.

Don’t marry only your perspective. Look at hers as well. She could have been recently ghosted, hurt, played, pumped and dumped. She could be old school, allowing the man to lead. She could think that you didn’t like her. The rapport could have been lacking or not enough comfort built. She could be ...

Want to know for sure? Ask for the date.

Fragile egos gets crushed in the market.

I'm guessing in the more fragile egos that get crushed the more room for the self-assured guys to make gains

 

[bigdave17]

Take a deep breath. This is not a disaster.

Better pics will yield better opportunities with better women, but it is not going to translate to success. Success will come in learning how to handle yourself as these opportunities come.

That is what you're working on now. The Italian girl didn't work. You learned what not to do. Next time you're going to do it just a little differently. Next time might bring better results, or, you might make some new mistakes. But you'll learn from that too.

Each time you're going to fine tune the process, and eventually, you will start getting it right. Then you will start getting it right more than wrong. Eventually you'll do it right most of the time and it will become easy. Effortless.

It will be at that point that you will no longer have confidence that you have the goods to do it, but a confidence in having done it well so many times.

That confidence is crucial for the next step: the date itself. You must have it to influence things to your advantage during the dates. It will play a big role in molding the date itself.

But for now, you have to keep working on the first step: opening, getting the number and setting the date with women you want to meet.

Everything else will come. But that is first.

And you're doing fine. This failure is not holding you back. It is propelling you forward.

In the meantime, work on better pics.

bunch of questions I have for you

1)When I first started doing it, I had 2 or 3 women interested in me. Now I'm dwindling down to nothing. Is this normal?

2)Will having pics that rate in that 8-9 range get me attractive women interested in me on dating profiles? My summary is almost exactly same as yours. I just can't get anybody who wants to go out with me.

3)What's your idea on having a professional photographer? they can take very good quality pics but still make it look casual. I feel like a professional will know exactly what to do to get great looking pics

 

[bigdave17]

You're not making demands as a 7 in this Game, period.

I really need to get very lean

I've cut some weight recently and notice how much better my face looks. Totally looksmaxed, I might be a borderline 7.5 to 8/10

 

[spinich]

Dave your convinced it is your looks that are holding you back while in reality it appears to be your massive desperation. Listen to what the female members of this thread are saying to you. I know plenty of just average guys who are as happy as clams scoring with what you are pre discarding. I remember when I was in post grad school living with a "nice guy".. Not a Chad, just an average guy who would date women who were truth be told 6-7 for face and body. And you know what he was content, satisfied and had his proverbial sh*t together. You on the other hand babble about being entitled to those mythical 9-10 women. Truth be told you really need to to readjust your life goals. You are NOT in their league in so many ways. Why keep beating your self up? You are truly missing the best of what could be a great life by staying on your current self destructive path.

 

[bigdave17]

Dave your convinced it is your looks that are holding you back while in reality it appears to be your massive desperation. Listen to what the female members of this thread are saying to you. I know plenty of just average guys who are as happy as clams scoring with what you are pre discarding. I remember when I was in post grad school living with a "nice guy".. Not a Chad, just an average guy who would date women who were truth be told 6-7 for face and body. And you know what he was content, satisfied and had his proverbial sh*t together. You on the other hand babble about being entitled to those mythical 9-10 women. Truth be told you really need to to readjust your life goals. You are NOT in their league in so many ways. Why keep beating your self up? You are truly missing the best of what could be a great life by staying on your current self destructive path.

9 or 10?

a 9 or a 10 is this

I would be totally be 100% happy with a 6 or 7 face with a great body

 

[mrgoodstuff]

9 or 10?

a 9 or a 10 is this

I would be totally be 100% happy with a 6 or 7 face with a great body

Personally considering your position i dont think it helps you to obsess over these images. Your giving up the small amount of power you have. Follow the most common and basic advice you get from the guys and watch your game explode. Stop worshipping and putting all this energy on hoez that arent yours.

 

[spinich]

Actually both of these women given the right makeup and clothes could be a 9. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And remember beauty is skin deep while ugly goes all the way to the bone!!

 

[Fzatf]

i want a normal chick who does not give a fck about religion or politics and eats meat with me on the daily. i don't like feminists either

I'm not saying those are all inherently horrible things but they're extremely unappealing to me

No interest in politics? "Babe, I hope you're shallow and don't care about the state of your nation or its people. As long as you have a sweet ass and aren't white, you're good."

 

[bigdave17]

Actually both of these women given the right makeup and clothes could be a 9. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And remember beauty is skin deep while ugly goes all the way to the bone!!

brunna has a decent face - which is fine. I don't really care all that much about the face, as long as they're sorta cute. I just don't like pale girls. I feel like darker skinned girls look way better with no makeup and they also tend to age much better


Minka has a supermodel face

 

[bigdave17]

No interest in politics? "Babe, I hope you're shallow and don't care about the state of your nation or it's people. As long as you have a sweet ass and aren't white, you're good."

why bother about politics when it's depressing as ****?

I don't mind her caring about politics, I just think hardcore liberals are wackjobs. I can't do a hardcore republican because most of them are super religious

 

[Fzatf]

why bother about politics when it's depressing as ****?

I don't mind her caring about politics, I just think hardcore liberals are wackjobs. I can't do a hardcore republican because most of them are super religious

Im not saying you have to protest in the streets or donate money. It just sounded like any opinion would be a disqualifier.

 

[bigdave17]

Im not saying you have to protest in the streets or donate money. It just sounded like any opinion would be a disqualifier.

I said hardcore liberal

but I'm not going to church every sunday with a hardcore trump supporter either

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Personally considering your position i dont think it helps you to obsess over these images. Your giving up the small amount of power you have. Follow the most common and basic advice you get from the guys and watch your game explode. Stop worshipping and putting all this energy on hoez that arent yours.

Have the discipline to STOP wasting your energy on these type of pics and any other hot babe in real life whose not worried about you. It cost you "control". It steals your attention. Start working your way up the pyramid starting with ladies who will cherish you. You cant. Afford to pour into anyone.

Sexless looxmaxxing is a fail strategy.

 

[bigdave17]

the middle eastern girl started messaging me

she's very cute but I have very little faith in this working out - mostly because I hate dealing with Muslim families. She herself is not religious at all but I'm sure her family are full of wackjobs who don't believe in sex before marriage

Dumbest ****ing religion in the world - Islam

 

[mrgoodstuff]

the middle eastern girl started messaging me

she's very cute but I have very little faith in this working out - mostly because I hate dealing with Muslim families. She herself is not religious at all but I'm sure her family are full of wackjobs who don't believe in sex before marriage

Dumbest ****ing religion in the world - Islam

Why are you worried about anything "working out"? You need to verify mutual interest. Verify mutual SEXUAL attraction and have sex. You dont understand women enough to have a relationship.

 

[bigdave17]

Why are you worried about anything "working out"? You need to verify mutual interest. Verify mutual SEXUAL attraction and have sex. You dont understand women enough to have a relationship.

do you understand how strict a lot of muslim people are about sex?