Roommate has stolen from me

[Murk]

Ok so I know Sara must be pissed I brought back the 18 year old from work, I know she is pissed I didn’t come home Wednesday when I went on a date with girl that subsequently ghosted me. She doesn’t know I banged both but her gut must be telling her I did.

I come home Thursday night, chill with Sara, she has no cigarettes so I share mine with her. She goes to sleep, I fall asleep on my sofa. I wake up for work Friday morning and can’t find my tobacco anywhere, I don’t usually smoke during the day only evenings so I think fvck it and go to work. I ask her where it is during work and she says I left it on the table (it wasn’t there). I come home, search thoroughly and nothing is here.

I go out with my friends, tell them the sitch and I’m advised to just call her out. The reasoning is that if you are accused of stealing when you are innocent you protest, get offended and generally back your corner, right?

The first two screen shots are in the wrong order: 2, 1, 3

This b1tch is guilty, I arrange for the 18 year old to come over, before I do I tell Sara she needs to be gone tomorrow evening.

She has stolen from me, twice now. First time was cocaine that she said she lost in her room, I made her give me some back so I didn’t care but I let the first disrespect slide.

How do I play this? I want to launch her sh1t out the window.

I know the psychology behind being caught out. She is going to deny this to the end of time, I don’t care. Nothing vanishes from my place it’s not possible.

She either thinks I’m too beta to confront her, or too placid to to bring it up. Either way she clearly doesn’t know me. She’s broke and gets paid next week (last day of month) so this crackhead behaviour doesn’t surprise me.

Edit:

I spoke to her mate Zoe just now whose place she stayed at, Zoe said she will get to the bottom of it, I said if this was a man it would be a fighting situation, but it’s Sara, so I feel let down considering everything I do for her.

Sara calls me just now saying to look in her room, I’m not doing that, she asked why I’m angry and I said u have hurt me and I know you won’t admit to stealing. “I will just buy you a new packet”

“Good” I say

Her: “ok I have to go now”

Me “bye Sara” and I hang up straight away

She thinks I’m stupid. Trust is gone now and I’ll be sure to make her life uncomfortable moving forward.

 

[Murk]

 

[Murk]

Ok so after they tell me search her room, I do...

This ***** has my beer under her pillow and one in the wardrobe!

You can’t make this **** up

 

[Spaz]

Too hyped over cigs man.

It might be misplaced or stolen or taken by aliens. It doesn't matter, calm down, no need for useless drama - it degrades a man.

Rational course of action is buying a new pack and then keeping it with you or some place hidden like a drawer.

Problem solved.

 

[Murk]

Bro it’s the principle, it could be fvcking carrots for all I care.

My anger is from the fact she thinks she can do this to me. I am not a guy people walk over, without sounding humble braggy I am happy to escalte any situation to violence, I have grown up poor in a poor location. This is what keeps me happy at night, this mentality commands respect from humans. Now I have money. I take any slight to me or my family with extreme action. I have been locked up for splitting a guys head open 9 years ago and since then I’ve calmed down but how dare any man women or child treat me in a way I would never treat anyone.

I’m fully aware violence and aggression is perceived as weak by the majority here, but I’m really out here living this life, not typing condescending braggadocio semen from the comfort of my home. I’m a real human being. I’ve seen people gutted, shot, my friend was driving his mums new X6 year ago and was shot gunned through the door and now walks with a limp.

I’m not tolerating people stealing from me I’d rather die than stay awake at night thinking I’ve been disrespected. You know that feel. You all know that feel when you’ve been disrespected and have shoulda woulda coulda thoughts. I abhor those thoughts, they are worse than death.

 

[Spaz]

Bro it’s the principle, it could be fvcking carrots for all I care.

My anger is from the fact she thinks she can do this to me. I am not a guy people walk over, without sounding humble braggy I am happy to escalte any situation to violence, I have grown up poor in a poor location. This is what keeps me happy at night, this mentality commands respect from humans. Now I have money. I take any slight to me or my family with extreme action. I have been locked up for splitting a guys head open 9 years ago and since then I’ve calmed down but how dare any man women or child treat me in a way I would never treat anyone.

I’m fully aware violence and aggression is perceived as weak by the majority here, but I’m really out here living this life, not typing condescending braggadocio semen from the comfort of my home. I’m a real human being. I’ve seen people gutted, shot, my friend was driving his mums new X6 year ago and was shot gunned through the door and now walks with a limp.

I’m not tolerating people stealing from me I’d rather die then sleep thinking I’ve been disrespected.

No it doesn't command respect from humans. It however elicits fear from weaker humans. And for the more stronger dominant ones it elicits ridicule, anger and even viewed as a challenged that will not be refused.

What u r actually doing is teaching urself 2 let ur emotions control ur actions and as time passes by it can only get from bad to worse.

Teach urself 2 control ur emotions. U will be greater then before, commanding respect by being assertive and decisive in ur words and deeds.

And if u feel the need 2 crush someone then do so by totally crushing them so that they won't seek revenge on you later on, not always looking over ur shoulder is a good strategy - this is another topic by itself but we can talk abt it another day.

 

[Murk]

I hear you, I need more control over my emotions, I’m so defensive, I can’t tolerate any affront. I value myself too highly, I’m living for my mum too remember, I’m an only child, my mum is gone I need to respect both myself and her, what she created.

Sara is going to another house viewing and coming back, b1tch gonna get her figurative wig split.

 

[lamath]

Spaz is right seriously your going way to hard on this
Take it more eazy nex time

 

[Murk]

My friend and tenant stealing from me? Shall I roll over like a fvcking pig to be spit roasted? Am I from a completely different world and so out of touch with reality?

How would you guys deal with someone stealing from you? I’m of the ilk, rightly or wrongly so, that this sh1t doesn’t slide. This is actually prob the wrong forum for me if the general consensus is that I get back in my box and be a good little boy.

I need some proper responses to recalibrate.

 

[elunium]

Too much drama.

Be a man.

Tell her she must leave.

It's that simple

 

[AJ84]

My friend and tenant stealing from me? Shall I roll over like a fvcking pig to be spit roasted? Am I from a completely different world and so out of touch with reality?

How would you guys deal with someone stealing from you? I’m of the ilk, rightly or wrongly so, that this sh1t doesn’t slide. This is actually prob the wrong forum for me if the general consensus is that I get back in my box and be a good little boy.

I need some proper responses to recalibrate.

Stop texting her friend, sit down, chill, and think about it:

What do you ultimately want from her? There must be something, otherwise you would not be bothering with her. Ask yourself that before you look at ways to recalibrate.

Then you can determine what’s realistic to expect and what isn’t based on who she is and what you know of her, two things that are not likely to change.

Decide from there how worth it, it is, for you to invest in this situation with her.

 

[lamath]

I think that you had to say something for sure, tell her once in a firm way and thats it. Then show her by your action ( not sure how i would do it however.
Dont argue or nag, i will just amplify the drama and that would be entering her frame.

I think it went a little bit over board.
I know that situation like this are not easy to handle and might be easier said than done

GL

 

[marmel75]

Now I see why you always end up with certain types of women...you create more drama than any man should and its like crack to these women.

So basically they want the emotional rushes this drama provides, they know how to get you to provide it and when they need a "fix", they do something they know will set you off.

So if you want to really know how you are being played, its not by her taking your stuff. Thats only being done to elicit the drama they are addicted to and they know you will provide. You are basically their puppet on a string to provide them with their drama fixes.

They have full control of you in a way that you dont even realize it. Its kind of sad really.

Dance Mr. Bojangles, dance...

 

[sazc]

Did she steal from you? Idk. But here's my take....

The relationship between you two has broken down to this point. It's broken. You are both better off having her vacate asap so the relationship doesn't deteriorate further.

After that, and after some time passes, all of this will be water under the bridge and you both will laugh about it. She may even admit to her hurt feelings causing her to do these things. But if you keep living together, things are going to continue to go south.

Just tell her things are not going well for you guys as room mates and you think it's better that she move out. No hard feelings. It's just time she is on her way

 

[sazc]

Now I see why you always end up with certain types of women...you create more drama than any man should and its like crack to these women.

So basically they want the emotional rushes this drama provides, they know how to get you to provide it and when they need a "fix", they do something they know will set you off.

So if you want to really know how you are being played, its not by her taking your stuff. Thats only being done to elicit the drama they are addicted to and they know you will provide. You are basically their puppet on a string to provide them with their drama fixes.

They have full control of you in a way that you dont even realize it. Its kind of sad really.

Dance Mr. Bojangles, dance...

The drama CAUSES him to pay attention to, and focus on, HER, which is ultimately what she wants. He's so busy seeing red his brain is too preoccupied for other chicks/things

 

[Murk]

Sassy I hear you, I’ve given her my mortgage advisor last month, she has £400k to drop on a yard plus £100k mortgage, she’s found a place she likes for £475k

I need to reiterate this is temporary and she’s actively looking to bounce.

She’s home now, looking sexy as hell, wish me luck.

 

[sazc]

She’s home now, looking sexy as hell, wish me luck.

Facepalm .... she totally knows how to work you.

Sh1t ... Fvck her then, fvck her hard, make her pay for your smokes that way

 

[Murk]

Facepalm .... she totally knows how to work you.

Sh1t ... Fvck her then, fvck her hard, make her pay for your smokes that way

She is sexy from last night b, she’s now in shower, I don’t even know what I’m gonna say but yes, fvckingher good and proper is the only solution. I need coke cigs and weed. I have the liquid viagra to recalibrate the physical.

 

[marmel75]

Facepalm .... she totally knows how to work you.

Sh1t ... Fvck her then, fvck her hard, make her pay for your smokes that way

Nope...fvck her in the ass and then make her suck it.

 

[Billtx49]

She is sexy from last night b, she’s now in shower, I don’t even know what I’m gonna say but yes, fvckingher good and proper is the only solution. I need coke cigs and weed. I have the liquid viagra to recalibrate the physical.

So you have money for coke and weed, but currently worried about 2 hidden beers and a missing pack of cigs.
Get your mental priorities in line.